Academy Days
by littlemoontiger
Summary: Naruto is considered the bane of the village by many,and is labeled as a permanent dobe. Yet, you should never judge a book by its cover; this story follows Naruto from being a neglected orphan to rising into greatness as he works to become a genin
1. Chapter 1: First Day

Title: Academy Days of Naruto Uzamaki

**Title:** Academy Days of Naruto Uzamaki

**Genre:** adventure/humor/

**Category:** Anime/Manga & Naruto

**Summary:** Naruto Uzamaki is an orphaned, whose dream is to become Hokage of Konohakagure. This is the story of how Naruto copped with being the most hated in the village, and missing a good amount of knowledge all the way up until he became a genin. Read along and listen to his tale.

**Disclaimer:** I'll own Naruto when I hate caramel and chocolate. Until then, I own nothing but the plot.

A.N. Authors Notes

'_Thinking'_

"Talking"

"_Emphasis"_

"YELLING"

"**Extremely angry/extremely big things talking"**

"**WET-YOUR-PANTS-YELLING"**

scene change

* * *

**Chapter 1: First Day**

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M LATE! I SLEPT IN TODAY OF ALL DAYS!" An orange-clad, spiky haired blond ran through the streets in a blur. He was running fast enough to put a bullet to shame. He wore bright orange shorts with a bright orange t-shirt that had a red spiral in the middle of a blue circle on the back. He wore blue sandals, and had messy sunny blond hair that over shadowed his deep blue eyes.

"Gotta get there, gotta hurry." He said to himself. He saw a long, five-story tan building in the distance. Even with him running at top speeds it looked to him that he was slower than a snail as he neared the building. '_It's so close, yet so far away!' _He thought to himself. As he neared the building, large metallic letters that shone silvery-white were visible along the long stone wall. Rows of windows were both above and below it. It read: _Academy of the ninja arts_. In his opinion it was like a century later that he reached the school. He ran through the building towards his class room. Room 107. Coincidentally he busted in as soon as his name was called for attendance.

"Uzama-"

"I'M HERE!" he loudly busted in the dark blue, heavy, surprisingly thin, wood door. The teacher cleared his throat. "Glad you decided to come today, why don't you take a seat over there?" He instructed, pointing to an empty seat by the window in the second row. Naruto nodded, trying to catch his breath he dragged himself over to the desk. The young teacher prepared to speak.

Once seated the boy looked over the teacher. He wore the chuunin shinobi vest over a tan shirt and black pants. His dark-brown hair was in a high pony-tail. His most distinguished feature was a long scar running across his face. His brown eyes scanned the class.

"Alright, as I said before, you all can call me Iruka-sensei. You all know that you're here to learn the basics to the secret ninja arts; in other words to prepare in becoming strong shinobi. So make sure you do your best here, so that you can exceed in becoming one." He said scanning the class of little kids. "Lets begin by introducing ourselves. You are to tell your name, your hobbies, likes, dislikes, and dreams." He smiled as about half the class perked up at that. "I'll call you out by name." He said.

Iruka looked to the tardy sunny-blond at the corner of the classroom by the window, all because his orange clothes and sunny yellow hair screamed at him for attention. "We'll start with you."

The boy in question smiled largely. "I'm Uzamaki Naruto, my hobby is training, I like to train, I don't like people who judge others, and I'm gonna become the next Hokage!" He said energetically. Iruka nodded. '_Well he has lots of energy.' _

"Hinata you're next." He looked to a girl behind him. She had dark blue, almost black hair, pearly white eyes that shone lavender in just the right light, and a thick blue and white coat on. She flushed red with attention. "I-I-I'm Hinata H-Hyuuga, I like t-t-to d-draw and collect f-flowers, I don't like people who boss others around, a-and I d-dream to get rid of t-t-the curse seal in my clan." She stuttered out, looking redder than a tomato. Iruka smiled warmly, inwardly noting how shy she was. '_She said that last part quite convincingly.' _He noted.

"Sasuke." He nodded to the person below Naruto in the first row. It was a dark blue almost black haired boy, whose hair looked like a ducks behind. (**A.N.** HAHAHAHAHAHA!) He had black eyes, and a blue shirt that covered his neck with white shorts. "My name is Uchiha Sasuke; I dream on becoming as strong as my brother Itachi, and I my hobby is training." He said simply. Iruka nodded. _'Good to see he's following a good roll model.' _he thought.

"Matt" He looked to the boy in the second row, right next to Naruto. His dark-brown hair fell over his black eyes, and reached his shoulders. He wore a black t-shirt with loose, black camouflaged pants. "Well, I am Golen Matt, don't really have many hobbies, and I want to become a good shinobi." He shrugged, obviously not wanting to talk more than needed. '_hm.' _He thought.

"Ino" Iruka looked to the girl one seat behind him in the third row. She was pale blond with sky-blue eyes. Her long hair was in a high pony tail, her hair trailed all the way down her back. She wore a light purple short-sleeved jacked over a black shirt and purple skirt with black sandals. "I'm Yamanaka Ino, I like Sasuke, I don't like Sakura and my hobby is hanging with Sasuke." She stated. Iruka nodded at her. '_Devoted fangirl' _he thought to himself. '_hopefully this years fan-girls wont be too much of a hassle.' _He hoped.

A pink haired girl next to Ino stood up suddenly. She wore a cherry red short dress with dark-blue caprices under them. "I'm Haruno Sakura, I _love _Sasuke, I _Hate _Ino, and _my _hobby is hanging with Sasuke" she said, glaring holes into Ino who glared back. You could clearly see the electric tension between the two. Iruka sweat dropped _'Two devoted fangirls…great.'_ He thought.

"How about you go Helen" Iruka said to the long green-haired, greed-eyed tall girl below the two glaring fangirls. She wore a blue dress with a white sweater over it, and blue sandals. From the way she kept pulling at her outfit and frowning you could tell that she didn't like it one bit.

"I am Dani Helen. My hobbies also included hanging with Sasuke, I like Sasuke, I dislike people who try and steal him away from me…" Almost all the girls in the class shared predatory gleams. " and I dream that he will someday be mine!" She said the last part loudly. Underlying message: Sasuke is mine. '_why do fan-girls fawn over him again?' _Iruka thought, knowing that this year's fan club will be the worst yet.

From then on, all the fangirls stood up one after another, professing there love and devotion for the Uchiha. Iruka was a little irked at how they completely ignored him and did there own thing. Once the girls were done, even though they were now either glaring ferociously, or ogling over the annoyed looking Sasuke, Iruka picked up on introductions.

"Next is you Choji." He was a big boned boy in the second row closer to the wall, with light brown hair, and eyes. He had two pink swirls on his cheek, and was eating a bag of potato chips. He wore a yellow shirt with a dark-green vest over it and dark-green shorts. "My name is Akamichi Choji, I like to eat, my hobby is watching nature, I hate starvation, and I dream to find the best chef in the world." He said eating more chips as he finished. Iruka nodded. '_as expected from the Akamichi clan.' _He thought.

"Next is you Shikamaru…SHIKAMARU!" He yelled to the sleeping boy behind Choji, he shot up, looking bored and irritated with slumping shoulders and a scowl on his face. His short brown hair was in a high ponytail, which looked like a pineapple. He yawned before answering. "I'm Nara Shikamaru, I like watching clouds, I hate troublesome things, my hobby is sleeping, and my dreams are forgotten as soon as I wake up." He finished, not at all displaying any type of enthusiasm. Iruka nodded. '_The standard lazy bones' _He thought.

He motioned to the person beside Choji, skipping the girl who already introduced herself. He had short dark brown unruly hair, black goggles, and a white coat that covered half his face. "I'm Aburame Shino, hobby is collecting bugs, I like finding rare bugs, I dislike those who think bugs are gross, and I dream of breeding a new species of bug." He said. Iruka nodded. '_A bug geek'_ He thought to himself. '_Well that's the Aburame clan for you." _

He gestured to the boy behind him. The boy had on a gray hoodie, short brown messy hair, and a small white dog at the top of his head. His eyes were brown and he had two red tattoo marks on his cheeks, they where in the shape of triangles. "I'm Inuzuka Kiba, and this is Akamaru" He gestured to the white dog that bark excitingly. "I like dogs and other animals, I hate those who mistreat animals, and I dream to be one of the greatest shinobi in Konoha. Iruka nodded. '_A bug user, a dog user, a Hyuuga, an Uchiha, an Akamichi, a Nara, and a Yamanaka all in the same class. Six of Konoha's greatest clans. This will defiantly be an interesting year.' _He finished, seeing no other major clan in the room.

After a few other introductions from the remaining boys in the class, Iruka assessed everyone, before smiling.

"Good, now that were done with introductions lets move onto our first lesson!" He said while turning to the board chalk in hand.

* * *

(I'm skipping to later on that day)

Naruto sighed, his full attention on a group of birds flying madly at each other. He smiled grimly, envying the birds. They didn't have chains of hate and disgust thrown on them by others…unlike him. He began to muse on what it'll be like to be a bird...

'_I would probably still be an outcast among the birds. And still have all of them hating me.' _He thought sadly.

"NARUTO!!" Iruka's loud voice snapped him out of his musings, he grinned sheepishly, while scratching the back of his head "…yea" he said slowly, getting smirks from some of the kids. "I asked: What is a ninja's most valuable weapon? Would you care to try and answer?" He asked, although it was more of a command,

"Urm…jutsu?" he said hesitantly, getting a frustrated sigh from Iruka. "No Naruto, would anybody else answer the question?" he said, looking over the now silent class. The pink haired girl who sat thee seats away from Naruto in the third row raised her hand enthusiastically.

"Yes Sakura." Iruka acknowledged.

"A ninja's ultimate weapon is deception. When you face your enemy it's more of an advantage to have them underestimate you, and not take you seriously. When that happens you gain the upper hand by the element of surprise." She said confidently.

"Correct!" Iruka exclaimed. "Many shinobi die in battle because they underestimate their opponent. They let the pride in their own abilities, and appearances of their opponent cloud their judgment, causing them to open themselves up to the weakness of being unprepared and caught off-guard. On the battle field, so much can happen in one small moment. You opponent will not hesitate to attack in the small moment you are surprised, or caught unawares. Now listen carefully to my word words." Iruka paused, letting that all sink in. He continued "Never underestimate the opponent!" he yelled powerfully. He looked around at the now attentive faces. Little did he know, this made a certain orange wearing boy go deep into a blanket of thought.

"Alright, that concludes our lesson for today. CLASS DISMISSED!" he said powerfully, but happily. The room quickly filtered out, the first out the door was Naruto. He chuckled once the class was empty. "Looks like this will be an interesting year." He said to himself.

"Hn… deception…" He said to himself, sitting on the swing that was attached to the tree outside the school, watching all the students filter out, but not really watching them. "If that's truly a shinobi's greatest weapon, then how can I use it?" He thought, starting on his way to his apartment.

His musings were interrupted by a rock slamming soundly into his jaw, knocking him to the ground. He looked back at a small mob of about twenty angry adults, all holding rocks, kunai, and knives. He paled instantly.

"What do you think you doing here Demon!" A tall, strongly built man with black hair and a patch over one eye shot a "You'll pay for what you done!" Naruto rushed back up, his foxy grin nowhere in sight, his eyes shone in fear and despair. He leap out the way of another projectile, it was a kunai.

"W-what did I do to you?" He stuttered, taking a large step back, looking into the angry hateful stares of the mob. This wasn't the first mob, no; far from it. But every time it still evoked the same sheer terror. "Don't play that stupid shit! You know full well what you did! You monster!" An angry woman yelled. That response was common to, but it still confused him. What did he do that was so bad? The mob came closer, Naruto instantly turned to run, causing the mob to give chase. _Why are they chasing me! It can't be because of those pranks! I never hurt anyone by doing them! _

His legs strained in desperation to get away from the enraged mob. His sides burned, his throat dry, all sorts of things ran through his head. He was so relieved to see his apartment building in the distance. His relief didn't last long for a rock powerfully slammed into his side, causing him to stumble. In desperation he got back up and ran. He herd them yelling obscenities and insults at him, which hurt him just as much as the thrown projectiles. He began to run up the stone stairs leading to his apartment on the second floor, the mob dangerously closes behind. It was by some miracle the person about to grab him slipped on the stairs, falling into the others, which stalled them long enough for him to run into his apartment, slamming and locking the door tight behind him. He propped himself up against the heavy wood door, panic printed clearly on his face.

A second later the mob was banging wildly on the door, yelling violently at him.

After what seemed like forever, the shouts and banging slowly subsided. He stood there anxiously as silence consumed his ears, excluding his madly beating heart, which seemed to be stuck in his throat. Then, without warning, he collapsed onto the ground. He moaned as his legs screamed at him in burning fury, and his stomach painfully squeezed in on itself. Each breath of air felt like knives stabbing into his lungs, and his throat was painfully dry. Bruises and cuts left from the thrown objects burned his skin. His last conscious though was '_what did I do?' _as he slipped into a dark void.

(A few hours later)

Naruto sat on the corner of his bed, his hand shaking as he drank a glass of water. The words the crowds threw at him echoing in his mind. 'Stupid beast!' a woman's voice called out. 'Coward!' a man screeched 'weakling!' another man shot. 'Monster!' a female voice shouted. Naruto shuddered. The words kept echoing in his mind, viciously stabbing him in his heart. Tears were flowing freely out o f his eyes. "Why?" He cried "Why do they hate me?" He then broke down into uncontrollable sobs, the words they called him stabbing into his heart. He dropped his cup, spilling the water on his bed as he curled up in the corner and cried himself to sleep.

Naruto dream sequence

"Coward!" "Weakling" "stupid" "beast" "monster!" Naruto stood in an ocean of black, hearing the words all around him. He was quivering, trying to yell, but no sound came out. Red cat-like eyes faced him, with a monstrous grin of sharp deadly teeth. Naruto desperately tried to get away, but he couldn't move. He tried to run from the hideous beast, but nothing happened. "Coward!" he heard a voice call out "weakling!" He heard another. He was desperately trying to turn away from all that, trying to yell, move, anything!!

"Deception is a shinobi's greatest weapon" A voice called out, echoing around him. He snapped his face away from the grinning beast, searching around for that voice. "Deception is a shinobi's greatest weapon" he herd again, this time he ran towards the sound, finally able to move. "deception!" he herd again "the greatest weapon" "deception, deception use deception" He kept hearing the echoes, running to find the source, as it slowly faded away. "WAIT" he yelled, "Wait!"

Naruto was rudely jolted from his nightmare by the cold hard floor. He stood up, looking around terrified of what may be lurking, but calmed down seeing that he was in his own room. He shuttered at the nightmare. It seemed so real. He looked to his bed, seeing as to how it was wet from the water he spilled earlier, he trudged to the closet to grab and extra blanket, deep in thought. Those words echoed in his mind, but it no longer left him with a felling of pain. In fact, he was brought joy. "That's how I can use deception!" He said to himself, walking over to his beaten blue couch to sleep, completely forgetting the bad events that happened that day. **(AN: Hey, we all know Naruto has quick mood changes)**

* * *

Okay, first chappie down. So what did you think? I would like to thank those of you who reviewed and told me of my errors. I hope that I fixed up the grammar and spelling enough. I know I wont be able to fix every little error, I was always bad in grammar. So any help in that aspect would be appreciated.

I am also redoing the rest of the chapters up to chapter 10. No major changes, just to fix up the spelling and grammar. Also, to those who already up to any chapters one through ten before 6/14/08, I will post a notice in chapter 10 or 11 to alert you of the changes. (Because I highly doubt those ppl are re-reading this chapter.)


	2. Chapter 2: Hokage History

Chapter 2: Hokage History

**Chapter 2: Hokage History**

**Disclaimer: **If you see a hoarse main course is Pluto, then I'll own Naruto. (Yeah pitiful attempt to make a funny rhyme, I know)

**Disclaimer**: Some of the info I copied directly from /biographies-K.php It's a good site. Go check it out!

* * *

The students filtered into the class as the bell rung, Naruto being the first to enter. He sat at his desk and thought about how he could use what he learned last night.

'_Hn… lets see. If I'm going to use deception to my greatest advantage then I gotta be the opposite of what everyone thinks of me as. _

_Lets see, the village sees me as:_

_1) Coward_

_2) Stupid_

_3) Weakling_

_4) Beast_

_5) Monster_

_6) Severe prankster_

_7) Annoying_

_8) Rude_

_9) Loud_

_Okay, even though almost all of these are true, how do I change that? _

_1) Coward. I know I run act like a scared kitten around the villagers, but hey who wouldn't. But then again, I should be bolder and fearless around them. I just need to look scared. How do I look scared, while not being scared, but still be scared? Hn, I think I'll settle for tolerance against it. That will take me some time to develop. _

_2) Stupid. Alright, I admit, I'm not that bright. It's not my fault nobody taught me how to read or anything! What can I do to fix that though? Well, I could always sneak into some library and steal a book to read. Hn, yesterday the teacher was writing on the board words as he said them, and reading aloud things in the book. It'll be hard but I can manage learning to read! I also have to listen more in class, I just have to look stupid, technically I am now, but in the future I'll have to fake stupid ness._

_3) Weakling. I admit, I'm not that strong. That can be changed over time too. I'll just have to train like crazy everyday. I know the perfect spot. I'll just keep up my weakling act, pretending that I'm the weakest out of everyone. Shouldn't be too hard, I'm used to being beaten near death by the villagers, so getting beaten by a couple more people wont really hurt. _

_4) Beast/Monster. I don't get that one. I'll have to find out what I did that was so bad. I just need to show people that I'm not as bad they think I am. I'll be extra helpful and everything. This is something that I'm gonna try and do, not hide. I'll call it Operation: Gain village favor! But I'll save that for much later. I don't really want to deal with them so soon._

_5) Severe Prankster. I'm not as bad as they say. But hey, I should really get into the prank business more. But then how will I gain the village favor? Hn. I reached a problem. Well, Maybe I should just…maybe…uh I'll think of it later. Any way, setting traps are important skills among shinobi. What better practice than setting up a good prank. Besides, you need brains to set up a good one. _

_6) Annoying/Loud/Rude. That's all ready a disguise. But maybe I could try a more…bearable personality every once in a while. Shinobi have to be adjustable after all._

_Okay, that's the end of my assessment, lets see, I have 10 minutes before class starts. Maybe I should review that lesson we were learning yesterday, seeming as to how I was daydreaming. _

And with that passing thought, he grabbed his text book and began to read. Well, since he never was taught that skill he simply looked over the letters, and tried to get the gist of it with pictures. Soon, the teacher was announcing that it was the start of class.

"Alright, turn to page 24 in your books!" Iruka called out "Today were going to review the history of our past Hokages!" Naruto, unsurprisingly, was especially attentive at this. Iruka chuckled, knowing that the 'future hokage' would just love this lesson.

* * *

**AN**: I'm skipping ahead to a summary of the days events. ('Cause we all know we don't want to hear Iruka's lecture Xp.) Anyway, just bear with me with the summaries, I was crazy to put this in here, but it's important for later on in the story and the sequels later on. If you don't want to read them just skip ahead, I understand, besides, who wants to _read _about schooling?

* * *

"Alright class, lets review." Iruka said, closing his teacher's version of their tan text book. "Can someone tell me briefly what the first hokage did?" A hand shot up faster than all others.

"Go ahead Sakura." Iruka nodded to the pink haired girl.

"The first Hokage, the Shodaime is the one who reviving Konoha when it was just a small village, and bring peace among it. His most defined and famed jutsu was his wood ninjutsu, that creates a large tree that can wrap it branches around an enemy to confine them." She said succinctly. Iruka nodded.

"Good Sakura, now can someone tell me of the second Hokage." This time Ino raised her hand. Iuka told her to go ahead.

"The second Nidaime is specialized for using water ninjutsu, and he needed no clear source for them. He is also known for being able to plunge whole battle fields into darkness, and summoning vast amounts of water." She finished Iruka nodded. "very good Ino, now I need someone to tell me of the third and current hokage. This time a fan-girl named Nita raised her hand first.

"The current hokage, was a student of the First Hokage and Second Hokage, where he was teamed with Homura Mitokado and Koharu Utatane. Later in his life he became the sensei of Jiraiya, Orochimaru, and Tsunade, who would go on to become known as the "Legendary Three Sannin". He is know as the proffesor for his knowledge of many jutsus. When he retired he gave his position to the fourth, but after his death the third returned as Hokage." She finished, giving a competatory gleam to the other girls. "Good Nita, now who would like to talk about the fourth Hokage?" he asked, Naruto seemed the most excited but for some reason, didn't raise his hand. '_strange, he looks like he wants so much to answer too.' _He thought while picking on Shino, who raised his hand first.

"The Yodaime was student of one of the legendary three, Jiraiya. He was known for mastering toad summoning, as a master of seals, and his own two jutsus the rasengan and the Flying Thunder God Technique. He was the youngest one to become Hokage. He died 8 years ago when the Kyuubi attacked the village. He used a forbidden seal that killed the Kyuubi, at the coast of his own life." Shino finished.

"Good Shino." He then turned to the class. "The Hokages all gave up their lives to protect the village and everyone in it. Its important that we honor their important legacy." He then looked around at every ones serious faces. "Now I hope you all have found new respect towards the Hokages. This will also be quiz material so make sure you memorize it!" He smirked as the whole class groaned. "Tomorrow we will be talking about chakra, so be prepared. Class dismissed" He finished, smiling as all the kids left the room, chatting about the Hokages.

* * *

**AN: **Now that I bored you to tears with that (evil laugh) lets get on with something more interesting or boring –I leave deciding if it is to you.

* * *

Naruto stood in a nice peacefull clearing. Away from the glares and mobs in the village, amongst the endless green of trees sat a nice sized kinda circular clearing that was about a mile in diameter. It was lined with big strong trees along the perimeter, and also a few scattered within the clearing. Inside the grass towered above him. Around one end of the peremeter was a nice sized, deep lake. It didn't take too much up of the clearing, but it was prominent. The lake itsself was linned with large, tall willows around its deformed s-shaped peremeters. The leaves curtained around, hiding it from plain veiw. Naruto as of this moment was about five feet from one of the trees, in nothing but his shorts.

Everything was at a standstill, until he shot forward, wind and grass whipping at him. He grabbed a good handfull of the willow curtain, and used the momentum of his run to swing high in the air, with a loud shout, he released and cannon-balled it into the cool water. Once he resurfaced, he grabbed a rope that he tied to a willow, and pulled himself on shore. To anybody else, this might look like play, but for naruto, this was training.

He pulled himself on shore, then sat down to look at the water. He set his first training goal today, was to learn to swim, as well as over come his fear of water. His fear for two years was pretty much gone now, but the memory that the fear came from was trapped in his mind at the moment.

FLASH BACK

A 6 year old Naruto stood outside of a tall metal gate. Inside there were a bunch of people his age splashing and swimming in a large pool. He had tried to enter once, he was chaced away and told never to return. He did anyway. Soon enough, a lifeguard caught sight of the boy. He came from behind and grabbed the boy.

Naruto was scared to death, he doesn't remember what the guard said, but he remembers the look of hate, and then malice. He trotted the Naruto inside, and threw him into the deep end of the pool. The poor blonde, having no clue how to swim, thrashed about. The guards stood around and sneered at him. Before he could drownd, he was extracted by a woman lifeguard. All he remembers from that is her saying something about dead bodies and reputations. He was then cruelly tossed over the steel gate into some bushes. He didn't protest seeing as to how he was choking on water. He doesn't know what happened afterwards, except that afterwards he was in the hospital with the hokage when he woke up.

End FLASH BACK

Ever since then, he's been terrified of water. He doesn't really know how he overcame the fear so fast though. Alright maybe that's an exaggeration, seing as to how when he first came here he was traveling about an inch per minut to the water. He was severely panicked. Then he remembered what happened earlier

While on his way, he saw a fox prowling on a rabbit, that was cornered aganst a tree trunk shivering in fear. He thought the rabbit was as good as dead, seeing frozen in terror, but it launched at the fox, bounding off his head and scampering into the forest. After that Naruto resolved that if a rabbit could overcome their fears, then so could he.

"Okay, now that I love water, lets get this lesson started" He said to himself, ending the memery lane charade. He then grabbed a tree branch that was slightly longer that his sholders, and 3 inches in diameter. He set the branch into his arm pits, and jumped into the water. His body bagan to sink, but the branch was enough to keep his shoulders on up out the water.

He recalled seeing the kinds at the pool doing this. He then straigtened out his body horizontally, and began to kick, while trying to keep his legs from sinking.

* * *

"You called Hokage-sama?" Iruka bowed, as he stood facing the Hokage across the desk loaded with paperwork.

"Yes Iruka." Sarutobi said while smoking his pipe. "I want to get right down to business. How do you feel about Naruto Uzamaki?" He asked, looking at the young teacher.

"I think he's an interesting one. He holds so much promise in his future, I can tell." He smiled. "But what does he have to do with anything?" He asked

Surutobi looked over the teacher for a moment, before speaking. "Iruka, Naruto needs a positive figure in his life. I know he sees me as his grandfather, but I can't do enough for him. He is in critical need of another special person in his life."

"What can I do for him? And how?" Iruka said.

"You and him share a similar past Iruka. You know how it feels to grow up without family. In fact you both even share the same behavioral problems." He said annoyingly, through his period as hokage he has had trouble with both boys. Iruka sweat-dropped. "Yet his life is very different from yours. I presume you know why."

Iruka nodded. "Yet what can I do?"

"As much as you can. I think you would better understand what you can do once you see what he's been through." Surutobi said as his crystal ball glowed blue. "look into here Iruka" He said. Iruka complyed.

A few minutes later, he looked up tears falling down his face.

"Has Naruto really been through that much?" He asked. What he saw was how Naruto was treated for the past two years.

"That, sadly, isn't the worst of it." He sighed with remorse. "I was hoping that you would help…" He never got to finish

"Yes! Of coarse! I'll do it as soon as possible…where is he though?" He interrupted.

"Ah, he is learning how to swim." He gestured towards his ball that showed the boy slowly heading his way across the lake in sloppy swim motions. "He actually adapted quite fast." He said, turning back to Iruka. "You may start on this tomorrow." He said. "I will watch him tonight."

"Yes hokage-sama."

"Good" He smiled.

* * *

"M-m-m-maybe I should have g-g-g-gotten oo-o-out s-s-s-sooner" Naruto told himself as he walked out the woods. After today he came to know one thing. Swimming is hard! His goal was to learn how to swim by the end of the week. He was thinking about extending that time limit. But then he remembered something in Iruka's lecture, about how the past Hokages were dedicated, always out to do their best at their jobs in any situation. He shook his head of the thoughts of extending. He was going to learn how to swim by the end of the week!

He looked up at the road ahead of him, still shivering in the cool spring night. "Tomorrow I'll have to go and watch the people swim at swimming pools." He resolved, glad that his jaw stopped quivering. He shuddered at the thought of going back. But when he overcame his fear for water he felt like he could face anything.

With that resolve in mind, he skipped threw the woods, as the last rays of sun faded from the sky. He's come to know the forested areas like the back of his hand. The wilderness was safer than the village. He often spent days on end in the woods, so it was like a second home. He had to in order to reducing chances of him being mobbed. Plus, the wild areas served as good hiding spots and ambush spots for his 'secret missions.' (Pranks.)

He was also a stealthy one. No villager would be able to find him, only high genin and up would stand a chance in a game of hide and seek with the boy. He was surprisingly hard to find even though he wore an extreamly reflective bright orange clothing most of the time. But Naruto never thought he was really that good, though he was. People always are first to put him down. Besides the leader of the village, the hokage. The one who Naruto so lovingly calls Ojiisan (grandpa) or Old man.

Soon enough, the boy was at his apartment. He collasped on his now dry bed to recall the days events.

"Hn…lets see. Today I overcame my fear of water, and I can hold my head up for about one minute. I learned how to float, and I can swim horizontal for 45 seconds befor my legs sink, and I can hold my breath for almost a minute. Huh, I guess I learned more than I thought I did, I'll be swimming in no time." He grinned. Then he took the first boat to dream world.

* * *

**AN: **So, what do you think? Good? Bad? Please let me know A.S.A.P. I love constructive critisizm, so any thing you can find fault in please don't hesitate to tell. I would like to work on making this better while I'm still at the beginning. So, _**PLEASE REVIEW **_as soon as you can, and as clear as you can.

Oh, and thank-you so much to those that already reviewed, I appretiate it! Sorry I havent been responding right away to the critisizm, I hardly have acess to the internet. But I am going though and fixing my errors at a steady pace.

Thanks for your cooperation

Ja ne!


	3. Chapter 3: First bowl of Ramen

Chapter 3: First Bowl of Ramen

**Chapter 3: First Bowl of Ramen**

**Disclaimer: **I'll own Naruto when I decide to get a pet spider; until that parallel universe comes, I own nothing but the plot.

* * *

A shadowy figure dashed from tree to tree, silently making it's way towards the academy building. It moved like it was a shadow it self, with stealth that would make any shinobi green with envy. The bored chuunins watching the streets had no clue of the shadow's presence as it tactfully passed every patroller.

It was soon at the base of the academy, circling it like a prowler. Seeing an open window in the second floor, the figure slithered up the tree trunk, and branch until it was far enough to crall into the window. The figure did just that, miraculously it was just the size to fit. Once inside, it silently dropped down to the floor, and slid along the shadows of the wall.

Soon the figure stopped on the basement floor, passing the rooms filled with small toys and playhouses, to rooms that had letters and numbers all around. It wouldn't take a genious to figure out that these rooms were daycares, and kidergatend rooms. The figure slipped into one of the rooms, leaving the hall as if it was never there.

* * *

Naruto was reading over what he covered for the last two days in newfound interest now. Well, technicaly it wasn't reading. He was pronoucing the letters of each word, slowly but surely in his mind making out what the word was. Even though he couldn't remember every sound of the alphabet, he remembered a good deal of it. The fact that he knew the letters to his own name and to the past hokages names by heart helped. And because he knew those letters and sounds, he wasn't completely clueless in the first place.

But now he knew MORE letters and sound, almost all of them infact. Yet he couldn't get ahead of himself seeing as to how he still had much more to learn. Yes, the japanesese language was a complex one indeed. And though he'd hate to admit it to any outsider, those kindergaten and preschool books were of great help to a boy that only knew a few letters and sounds of the alphabet.

Numbers were another thing. He doesn't know how to read with nobody there to teach him, but he knew all his numbers from the get go. He guessed it had something to do with the prices he had to be aware of when he was buying something. Yep, had to be the prices. He closed the book, finished with his skimming for now. Besides, he didn't want anyone walking in to see him, the stupid one, reading. It would blow his cover.

Yep, he was the first in the class that day, shocking Iruka-sensei, Mizuki-sensei, and the other nameless senseis who saw him. It was kinda funny. Mizuki and Iruka were talking about something in the room, way befor school started and in walked an orange clad blonde boy. Their jaws were on the floor. That's how he met Mizuki-sensei. Mizuki escorted Iruka out the room when he sat down. Iruka shot him an apologetic glance. Clearly, the conversation was private. He had to resist the urge to easedrop. Luckly, his book occupyed him.

But now he was done, students would be arriving any time now. The clock hit 7:45. That was the time students normally showed up, but then again, Naruto's not normal now is he.

The clock read 7:46. Naruto was staring at the chalk along the chalk board. His prankster side started planning many things he could do with those little pieces of chalk. Grind them up and put them in the seats of everybody's chairs so that they will have chalk buts, or fill a bucket with the grinding to fall over the first person to walk in. Maybe he could mix the chalk with water and glue, and paint the walls, chairs, and desks. Or he could make it look like dynomite dust coming out of the dynomite about to explode.

7:47. He knew that if he kept looking at the chalk, he will eventually succumb to the desire to prank. He turned away only for his eyes to land on the jar of writing ink. More specifically, jars of writing ink, with the brushes in a dark blue porceline mug beside it. That was a bad thing to look at. His eyes got wide. OH THE POSSIBILITIES OF THE PRANKS! More ideas ran through his head, eventually envolvong the chalk ideas with them. No! he said to himself, turning away.

7:48. Bad. Bad, bad bad. Now his eyes landed on a box. That box was a gold mine of the pranks he could pull. In it were wire, senbon, kunai, shiruken, paint, wood pieces, jugs of water, multicolored powders and creams, even soaps and scrolls. His thoughts apon eyeing the box. '_Damn!' _His mind was now divided. There was a little angel on one shoulder telling him to resist, and the devil on the other telling him to do it.

_7:49_

'_No you must not.'_

'_**You know you want tooo'**_

'_In order to gain the villages favor you must resist in hurting their kids.'_

'_**Come on, whats one more prank? It wont hurt them physically.'**_

'_The teacher will be infururated with you'_

'_**Just do one little prank. Everyone will forget it the next day, believe me.'**_

'_Think of this as a test of endurance and will power. Is Naruto strong enough to not pull a prank? Or is he just a weakling, like everyone says.' _

'_**awww, don't fall for that kid. Do it, fullfill your desires.' **_

'_No you mustn't'_

'_**Yes, do it!'**_

'_no, resist!'_

'_**yes, succumb!'**_

'_no!'_

'_**Yes!'**_

'_No!'_

…

7:50. Naruto's mind was at war. His hands were sweating, his eyes were wide, his breathing shallowed. All the materials needed for a prank were. Just. Right. There.

'_no'_

'_**yes'**_

7:51. He could set up a quick one right? He needs practice for setting traps. Or he could resist, practice on endurance.

'_no'_

'_**yes'**_

7;52 His heart started to beat faster and faster with the pressure, his knuckles turned white with the tight hold he was using on the edge of the desk. His eyes were burning with anticipation, he swallowed, his resolve quickly dissapating. '_Must…Not…Prank…_' he thought again, but he suddenly found that voice getting smaller, replacing it was a demonic voice. One telling him to do it. He felt like jumping in a river at this point. His hands started shaking against the desk.

'_no'_

'_**yes'**_

7:53 He shot out his seat in sheer panic when the door opened. The force causing him to fall over his chair and onto the floor. He banged his head on the hard, yet smooth granit flooring. He shot up, rubbing the back of head head.

"Naruto whats up with you?" He looked up to see Sakura and Ino at the door, both looking like they were trying to squeeze in there at the same time. "Move out the way Ino Pig!" she turned back to Ino shouting, as both fought to get in the class first.

"No you bill board brow!" Ino shouted, not letting up. Naruto sweat dropped.

Soon enough they were both shoved in, behind them an irritated looking Kiba. "Look I don't care about you guys and your issues but your torturing us all here!" he exclaimed, as he walked past with the others following inside.

7: 56. _'I did it! I was able to hold out on pranking! I did it! I did it! I did it!'_ he thought to himself as he smiled as bright as the sun. '_Now I wonder what pranks I can pull after school…' _

8: 00. Iruka and Mizuki walked into the class. Iruka looked around to see if everybody was there. They were, so he smiled.

"Today and from now on we will have an assistant teacher with us." He said, getting everyones attention as he motioned to Mizuki. "This is Mizuki sensei, he will be helping us understand how chakra works, some ways to use it, and how to use that to set traps."

In Naruto's mind that all boiled down to: Chakra + Trap Good Prank. So he threw on his bored, not paying any attention at all act, as he secretly listened and followed along in the book on the days lessons.

His bored, not paying attention act dissolved with the visual presentations. As soon as Iruka rolled down a large chart on the chakra systems, and Mizuki began to emmit chakra through out multiple parts of his body, his stupid act was dropped like trash.

But then again, everyone seemed interested about that part, even Shikamaru. Although he did keep his signature scowl on, he showed more intrest in the visual presentations than all else. It would be kinda suspicious if he didn't pay attention anyways.

The lesson on infusing chakra into objects to help set traps was like diamonds to the boy. This surpassed all other info to his prankster mindset. All I can say is, this lesson is what drove the ANBU crazy when he pranked.

Did Iruka know what he started?

After school, as the class filtered out, Naruto raved to Iruka on how cool that lesson was, and asked, practically begged, the senseis to do something like that tomorrow. He even asked questons, lots of questons, on the lesson. Iruka gladly answered, telling the boy in detail what he wanted to know. He was surprised at the questons he asked.

His questons were of way to high rank for any eight-year old to be asking or even thinking about. Iruka chuckled at that thought. It wouldn't hurt to tell the boy anyways…or so he thought. Naruto's line of questoning was ended with a loud grumble of his stomach. Iruka laughed, as Naruto sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

Iruka then offered to take the boy out to ramen. He agreed,quit loudly at that.

So now they were at the ramen stand called Ichiraku's, a stack of 13 or so bowls by the boy as he inhaled another. Iruka sweatdropped. As soon as Naruto took his first bite he declared this ramen the best food in he world. He's been inhailing it ever since.

'_Oookay_, _there goes a good half of my pay…where does he put it all in the first place? Damn he has a big appitite.' _These thoughts were floating in his mind as Naruto ate his 15th bowl.

Iruka has effectivly introduced a new drug to Naruto. That drug was Ichiraku's ramen.

Iruka sighed at his now empty wallet, as he walked out of the stand. Naruto was rubbng his stomach happily.

"Thanks Iruka-sensei! That was the best food in the world!" Naruto happily exclaimed

Iruka smiled, forgetting his extinct money for now. "Your welcome Naruto. I'm glad you enjoyed it." He said to the young boy. Naruto looked up at him and smiled.

"So what are we going to do tomorrow? Are you going to teach us some cool new jutsu? Do we get to practice laying traps? What about practicing with throwing kunai and shiruken? What are we gonna do!" He asked, with loads of enthusiasm. Iruka laughed at the boys antics.

"You'll just have to wait and see Naruto." He winked at the boy. Naruto pouted.

"But waiting takes to long" He whined. Iruka laughed at him.

"Oh, but its more fun this way believe me." He said

"really?"

"yep."

"Alright I'll wait. But only cause I want to." Naruto huffed, folding his arms. Iruka smiled.

* * *

"Now, concentrate your chakra into the water." Iruka instructed. It was another hands on day in class. Today, they were learning how to focus their chakra into their hands, which were on pans in the water. If they did it correctly, the water would start to pulsate.

Mizuki was walking around in the isles, seeing the progress of each student, offering help where needed. Naruto was having fun with this activity, for he was focusing the water to mini whirl pools, having it jump up and down, moving it like the waves of an ocean arcoss the pan, ect.

Little did the teachers know that as soon as he left Iruka he ran to his training spot, and practiced moving the water in the lake with chakra as he was swimming. He always used chakra for various tasks once he learned so long ago how to use it. He was a natural with using chakra, and never seemed to pass up the oportunity to put it to use. Weather it be entertaining himself on bored afternoons or using it in his pranks.Although it was hard for him to controll his chakra. He never let that bother him though, all good things comes with practice.

When he first put his hands in the pan, and expelled chakra, the water exploded out. The class was laughing, and the teachers were very surprised. He was soaked. With some pointers from the two teachers, though, he gained more control.

So now, he was playing with the water with out having it explode in his face.

'_Hn, this was much more easier than with the lake. I have a feeling it has to do with the amount of water.' _He then recalled when he first put his hands in the lake. It pulsated with large pulses. He used the same ammount his first time with this. The result, a water bomb. '_Yeah, it probably has something to do with the amount of water.'_

"Well Naruto, you have impressive amount of chakra, but you need to work on control, your using way to much chakra than needed." Mizuki snapped Naruto out of his train of thought.

"So I should use less chakra?" Naruto asked, looking at the teacher confusidly. "How do I know how much to use?"

"Yes, much less, you should start with no chakra, and slowly add to it until you have the exact amount you need." He said, before walking to the front with Iruka.

"You all did excellent with this exersize!" Iruka exclaimed, clearly proud of the class's progress. "Sadly though its time for lunch." The class moaned in protest, they were all having fun secretly splashing each other with water. (although the teachers knew about that, the puddles of water and wet faces and cloths were a dead give away.)

"Don't feel too bad. When we come back we'll practice with solid objects," the class brighted, "and then we'll read more about chakra contol!" more moaning from the class. Iruka laughed. "Alright, get on to lunch you guys." He said, the class practically ran out the door, all chatting excitingly about the exersizes.

* * *

"Putting chakra through solid objects is harder than water." Iruka said to the class, that all were trying desperatly to put chakra through a kunai, which had its tip in a cup of water. If done successfully, the water would pulsate. "That's because now you are pushing chakra through something with a definate shape and size. It doesn't move around as easily as water, thus is harder to malipulate."

Grunts were heard as a response. So far, nobody has succeeded in this exersize. Well, The girls all caught on pretty fast, first one being Sakura. The boys never came close. Unlike the girls, where once caught on the rest turned and asked how they did it so that they could master it, the boys had a superiority complex in asking the girls for assistance. That woed the fangirls of the Sasuke.

The teachers tried to keep from laughing at the class. Their expressions were priceless. Naruto, Kiba, and half the other boys looked like they were giving birth. The way the light shone from Shino's goggles made it look like he had large, cartoon bug eyes. Ino and Sakura were glaring at each other, electricity surging all around them. Other fan-girls compeating for Sasuke's attention did the like. Hinata still looked red from when all the attention was directed towards her when she successfully completed the exersize earlier. Shikamaru looked like he was sleeping the way his head was resting on his hands that held the kunai in the cup.

"Why wont you work!" Naruto grumbled to himself, upset at the progress he was getting. "What am I posibly doing wrong? I'm doing the same thing as the water, but why isn't it working?" He huffed, stopping his attempt to look carefully at the kunai. "Okay, its solid. It doesn't flow like water, so its harder to manipulate…wait…flow like water…flow…water…" He said quitly to himself as his inner gears started turning. He stared critisizingly at the kunai, and then it hit him like a ton of bricks.

"OH! It doesn't flow like water!" He exclaimed loudly, causing the class to jump from their intensive concentration.

"well no duh that's what the teacher said!" Sakura and Ino said at once, then they returned to their glaring contest. Naruto grinned sheepishly from the looks of 'no duh' from the class. He then returned to the kunai exersize, this time, the chakra passed successfully.

Iruka examined this, and then congradulated the boy. "Good job Naruto! You figured it out." He said, causing the boys of the class to look at him critically. Then Ino and Sakura shared a 'about time someone else got it' look and Hinata smiled slightly at his progress. (although nobody saw it because attention was on Naruto.)

The boys then got up and walked towards him, asking how he did it. (Their pride wouldn't allow them to consult the girls.) Naruto looked confused, and offered the blandest explaination.

"I pushed chakra through the kunai?" He siad/asked as he shrugged sheepishly. Everyone else fell anime style. They came up, looking as if they wanted to tear his head off for not explaining more on the subject. Luckly, Iruka came to his rescue.

"Exactly!" he said, earning confused looks from the entire class, for nobody really knew how they did it. "with the water exersize, you just have to expell chakra through your hands. With this exersize, though, you have to push it through the kunai, like the kunai is apart of your hand, before you expell it." He explained.

"Ohhhh" The class all said in unison, returning to their seats to try again, this time, all the boys got it. The boys erupted in shouts of victory, the girls rolled their eyes on how 'simple minded' they were acting. (Well, except Hinata, she just smiled shyly at the boys antics.)

Iruka and Mizuki both laughed at them. "All right everyone, time to open your text books!" Iruka shouted over the noise. The cheers of joy was instantly replaced with moans of despare.

* * *

"STROKE! STROKE! STROKE!" A lifeguard yelled at the swimming figures in the water moved in rythym with his words. Naruto was up in a tree, camoflauged by leaves as he watched the figures swim with a ctitical eye. Today was his lucky day. For he came right when they were about to start swim lessons. Earlier swim lessons was being given to little kids, then kids his age, then the teens, then people around Iruka's age, and now people around Sarutobi's age. Each one at a different level of swimming. (Well, the ones Sarutobi's age seemed more laxed than the vigerous routines of Iruka's age group.)

"I'm a genious!" He chuckled to himself as he started to climb down the tree. "I'll be swimming like a pro if I keep this up!" He jumped off the bark, and dashed towards his training area. This time he stayed in the main streets. He learned that mobs are less likely in the main streets, because of tourists. Their shops would loose customers, after all, if the managers were busy mobbing a young boy in tourist eyes. Places with lots of kids was also safer, because parents would never show such open hostility to there kids, nor let anyone else get away with doing so.

* * *

Soon Naruto was at his favorite place to train. He dove into the water and began to swim. The lessons earlier were of great help to him. Although he wasn't no professional, he was doing pretty good swimming…well until he got to the middle. At that point we was tired out. Even swimming the short way across, it was about the distance of swimming across a regular pool. He was glad he knew how to float on his back.

"O-kay…I…know…how…to…swim but…I…can't…swim…for long." He said between pants. He felt absolutly exhausted. But it didn't last long for his old friend determination came for a visit. With that, he dove back under the water and swam to the other end. After five minutes of rest, the peace and quite of the clearing was interrupted.

"I CAN SWIM!!" Naruto yelled happily. He then calmed down, seeing as to how he could barely swim. '_I'll have to work on the time length of my swimming though, and how long I can hold my breath.' _He thought to himself, as he put on his orange outfit. '_But until then, I need to get a good prank in!' _He chuckled as he ran out of the clearing, thinking of what types of pranks he could pull off.

* * *

It was a peaceful day in Konoha. The villagers were bustling around, shops were getting good business, even the wind was smiling. Ahhhh, listen to the peaceful, wonderful village sounds of-

"UZAMAKI!! GET BACK HERE!!" an ANBU yelled at the blonde boy, as he dashed laughing wildly through the streets. They. Were. Pissed. People who looked over would wonder why two ANBU, one in a bird mask, the other in a rat mask, were covered with mud, leaves, paint, undergarments, toilet paper, and trash. People who knew Naruto would know why.

"GET BACK HERE! THE HOKAGE WANTS YOU!!" the rat mask yelled irritation clearly in his voice. Its understandable though. They were supposidly the top in rank, they were the elite ANBU, they were highly esteemed!

And yet they were getting beat by an eight year old. Something was definatly wrong with that picture. Every time they came close to the boy, some trap from somewhere would bombard them with anything imaginable. Yep, they were pissed. Normally this job would fall on genin, older troublemakers were taken care of by chuunin. Yet when Naruto really tried, unfortunatly for the people in charge of seizing him, he could out smart even the ANBU. This was a well known fact by most of the villagers and even to the frequent tourists.

Now, why would they be chasing an orange-clad eight year-old down the street?

Let's take a look at the Hokage's tower. Yes, it stood tall, nice old but sturdy stone color with the large words HELLO WORLD! In green letters. Ahhh perfectly norma- wait, HELLO WORLD! in green lettters.

Now back to the chase. Lets see the ANBU are…confused. Naruto has somehow dissappeared amongst the crowd. Where could he be? You ask. Lets look back to the Hokage tower, on the roof, hidden from sight, was a laughing Naruto.

"That, hahaha, was, hahaha, the, hahaha, greatest! Hahahaha" He laughed, until a shadow appeared over him. He looked up, and saw the Hokage's eyes staring at him, with and unreadable expression. Naruto grinned sheepishly at him.

"H-h-h-hi Ojii-s-s-san" He said, feeling small at the moment. The hokage looked at him a long moment in silence, befor he sighed shaking his head.

"Naruto, Naruto, Naruto. Your always getting into trouble with these pranks," He sighed.

"Well, I desided not to prank Ichiraku's?" he said/asked wondering if that made any type of difference.

"Well, I am thankful for that!" he said, laughing at Naruto, who laughed along. "but you still have to scrub all that paint off." He said suddenly, causing the boys face to fall.

"Awww, do I have to?" He whinned, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, and if you don't, you wont get your pay." He said smugly.

"B-b-bb-but…Oh fine!" He huffed, Sarutobi just laughed while shaking his head, then he called for Naruto to follow him to get started.

Naruto just found another way to avoid mobs. That was to get chased by ANBU and scrubbing stone walls. The wall part was a drag, but its better then being chased and beaten withen an inch of your life with a mad crazed mob. Naruto first cursed the wall, the hokage, the paint for being so stubborn, and his arms for being so weak. Then he thanked them all when the Hokage stuck his head out the window and said something.

"Think of it as a training exersize, improving your stength and endurance." He said, smirking as the boys eyes got wide.

"Yes! This is just another form of training! Cooool!" Sarutobi heard him exclaim as he returned to the living, breathing, forever growing pile of paper work. If Naruto was old enough, he would have the blonde do all the paperwork as punishment.

Now that's torture.

He sighed at that dream as he pulled off a file to look at. He read the title as: Trade of perishable merchindise between Grass and Leaf. He sighed, and almost cried, as he went to reading. That is the reason he went so easy on Naruto, and enjoyed his company.

It got him out of paperwork.

Thinking about that fact he found another way to make his day more interesting. Now he just had to wait for the boy to pull another prank.

* * *

Ooooh, whats the Hokage planning? Find out in the next chapter: I HATE PAPER WORK!!


	4. Chapter 4: I HATE PAPER WORK!

Chapter 4: I HATE PAPERWORK

**Chapter 4: I HATE PAPERWORK!!**

**Disclaimer: **If I turn into a boy, then Naruto will be mine. Until then, I own the plot.

* * *

'_I just had to do that prank didn't I? Instead of practicing on swimming I had to prank. Just had to spill buckets of mud on the ANBU didn't I. Couldn't stop myself could I? I. AM. SO. BORED!! Why? Why did I have to pull pranks. Why me?'_

These thoughts are what ran through a bored blond's head as he sat next to the Hokage, who, in turn, was reading some files out loud, then quizzing Naruto. If He didn't get a suffecient amount of the questons right, then he had to repeat the process. This was punishment of a prank that spilled over a ton of mud and dirt on five ANBU members.

How he did it? That's what been on everyone's mind since then. The buckets of mud were suspended ever so delicatly on the strings, unseeable to ANBU whose only goal was to catch Naruto.

Naruto was in torture.

"-the mist village would also like to establish trade of clothing and wear between each other. We feel that us both will benefit from trade. We offer the tradings of several merchants that would like to be established in your village. Below is detail of the merchants…"

Yep, this was torture. Naruto glanced at the clock. Just 17 hours, 7 days, and 33 seconds to go. He could live through that, right?

'_Man why do villages need to use such fancy words to such a simple message? Seven damn pages for a simple offer: _

_Mist wants to trade with leaf_

_Mist has ten merchants for leaf. Two that sell shinobi clothes, Three family clothing stores, One womens clothing store, one mens clothing, two shoe stores, and a hat, and bag store._

_Mist will give leaf 45 of profits _

_Please respond ASAP_

_Bye!_

_WOULD IT KILL FOR SIMPILIZED MESSAGES!! No, the kages of other villages have to put in a bunch of fancy words. HAVE THEY EVER HERD OF SICCINT! _

"So what do you think of that Naruto?" Sarutobi asked, smirking on the look of pain on his face. Yes, this was a wise punishment. Fun too.

"I think that people need to learn how to be succinct." He stated flatly. "Sure, it sounds like a good enough deal to me." He huffed.

"Ahhh, theres more to it than that." He smiled as Naruto's face reflected agony. Lecture time!! "We also have to consider the size of the village, how much free space we can offer, and the effect this will have on our own merchants." He said as he puffed his pipe. He had to emit, part of him did this so he would not be found talking to himself. People would call him senile. The other part is because Naruto just makes the whole paper job funnier.

"If I were to put in more shinobi wear stores, then I would be taking away business from the stores in Konoha. That would be bad for the owners. While we don't have a suffentient amount of family stores, or shoe stores, we have plenty that sell woman's clothing, and enough for mens clothing." He nodded.

"Then just mail the other hokage and say so." He huffed. "Say: Hey Hokage! Thanks for the offer, but we can only take two of the suggested merchants. That's the family store and shoe store. Can't wait to see 'em. Ja." Naruto retoted sourly. Three hours of paper work can do that to you.

Sarutobi laughed at the boys antics. He then began to pull out his writing utinsils and paper. "Now for the fun part, writing responses!" Naruto groaned loudly sinking into his chair.

* * *

"Paper is scarier than enemys." Naruto said to himself, as he plopped down on his bed. He spent all day at the hokages tower, immediately after school. The hokage himself came and got him, to the surprise of eveyone else. He then shushined Naruto into his apartment, and left. No time to train, study, or anything. It was too late.

'_Well, I did get a little training in.' _He thought to himself. True, while listening to the Hokage he praced holding his breath. Also, he worked on pushing chakra through the chair, and making it move water in the water bottle he'd been provided. They both emploded. The hokage was laughing madly at the whole event. He already knew what would happen and when.

Naruto was at first upset that he'd been laughed at at first, but then he joined in too. He had to admit, it was funny. The hokage told him that maybe he'd creat a new jutsu. Surprised explosion no jutsu. Naruto laughed at that, and then figured might as well. The fourth made his own jutsus after all.

He chuckled evily. The pranks with that jutsu would be priceless! Then he shuddered. Was it worth sitting in with the hokage, as he read paperwork?

"Well, if I'm gonna be hokage one day, then I gotta know how to run the village and make decisions. So this is like another way to train!" He said to himself. Yes, for a good prank, Naruto was willing to give up his free time to listen to boring paper work. He smiled. He should asked to alphabeticalize the library. He'd just finished learning Hiragana, and Katana alphabets, besides, he'd gain himself free axcess to a library. That way he won't have to sneak in ones before the sun rise.

Yes, the gears in his head were turning now. If he became the Hokages assistant, then he'd have axcess to many things. Jutsu scrolls, many things to help his pranks, and much other stuff. "Perfect idea!" He said suddenly, scolding himself for not thinking of it before.

He went to sleep grinning.

* * *

"I. Am. An. Idiot." Naruto said to himself, as he stood in the library, cringing on the task to organize the thousands apon thousands of documents on the shelves that extended to stories high. He'd be running up and down stairs and ladders forever with what he had to organize.

"I'm glad I didn't suggest this." He grimaced to himself. The hokage had an important meeting today, and assigned the boy to alphabetalize the library. Naruto doesn't know which is scarier. Paperwork, or old paperwork.

'Oooh-kay. What good can come from this?' He though to himself, trying to make the job seem a little less bareble. 'Well, this will test my organizational skills, needed of any good shinobi. I can practice holding my breath, and breathing exersizes. Needed for swimming. Running up and down them stairs and ladders will help me become faster. I need speed to be a good shinobi. Maybe I'll even find a good scroll or two to study.' He said to himself. That made the job seem a little more bareable, but still it felt imppossible. The library was friggin huge!

Naruto first ran around to see how things were organized. He sighed when he was done. The place had very complex organization. Mission falled scrolls went in one area, organized by date. Mission completed scrolls went in another area, also in sequence with the date. Letters from the other villages had there own compartments. One for mist, another for grass, ect. Scrolls on people were organized in another part of the library, organized by both date, current state and order of the alphabete. (Like people born in 1999 and deceased: Areal Sasha, Aziril Manhalingi, you get the point.) Reseach goes into another area, on and on.

That's not the worst. There were also catagories for files and books. He sighed defeatidly. This was going to take forever. He was even more despared to find no jutsu scrolls. There were some on traps, that have been made but failed in the past, and some old maps of Konoha, but nothing usefull to his prankster side. He sighed again. Time for him to get to this dreaded work. _'O-kay, I need to practice speed, so I'll do this fast' _He said to himself while rolling up his sleeve

"Wow Naruto you out done yourself!" Sarutobi said while puffing on his pipe. The seven foot mountains of books, scrolls, and files that once littered the whole floor of the library were reduced to only covering half the library. Naruto himself was on one of the now empty tables, sleeping hard.

He walked over to the boy to wake him. No success. Sarutobi sighed. The child was out cold. Sarutobi thought about letting him sleep in the library, in hopes of cleaning up the other half, but shook his head. He knows is that nobody has ever, **ever **organized this much of it at one time before, hell nobody organized this much of the library at all before, no matter how much time they had. That's because there was always more paper work to fill the once vacated spots. Sarutobi decided he needed to reward the boy for his hard work, and maybe even try to get him to do the rest.

He shushined himself and the boy to his office, and laid him on the couch. Yes, that could work, take of two days of his punishment to organize the library. He sat back at his desk, and started to do some more papper work. He wondered what his assisstants would think apon finding that library.

* * *

"Today, class we are going to work on organization!" Iruka said. Naruto banged his head on the desk in response.

'_Why is the world against me?'_ He thought to himself, shuddering at the library he agreed to finish.

"Were going to the Hokage tower to organize the library." He said. The class groaned. Naruto muttered conspiracy. "The hokage himself said that its important to practice organization. Even in the most impossible situations." He flashed a knowing look to Naruto.

'_Maybe I shouldn't have cleaned the library in the first place.' _He thought to himself. Shuddering at what he left over. Then he relaxed a bit. "Well, at least I wont be alone this time." He muttered silently.

* * *

"Yo, Naruto, lets race!" Kiba said to Naruto, as the other kids began the dreaded task. "Who ever organizes the most stuff wins."

Naruto thought about it, then he figured that was better than muttering curse words to the hokage's conspiracy. "Sure! Your on" Naruto said enthusiastically.

"On your mark, get set, go!" Kiba called out, sending the two boys through out the library, snatching up files, scrolls, and books, before rushing around to put them in there proper places.

Iruka sweat-dropped. "Now if I'd thought of that sooner…"

"Nah I like it better this way." Iruka whipped around to see the hokage standing behind him.

"Ohayo hokage-sama." Iruka said with a bow. "Why did you want the students to organize the library again?" Iruka asked

"Aside from what I told you? Well,…" Iruka leaned in waiting for the answer. "It was a mess." And with that Iruka fell over anime style.

"Besides, I wanted to see how efficiently they worked." Surutobi said.

"Got any plans for them?" Iruka asked

"Not as of the moment, I just want to see the efficiency of this year's shinobi-in-training, I have no plans as of yet, I'm still working it out." Sarutobi said.

"Anything specific in mind?" iruka asked.

"Nah, not just yet. I wanted to give them the opportunity to travel, to see how other villige's shinobi, and governments are. I think it would be a good enrichment exersize." Sarutobi said.

"I think that they would fully enjoy that." Iruka nodded in agreement.

"-yawn-Why do we get stuck with such troublesome work." Said a young Nara, who was hiding behind a bookshelf, lazing off.

"We technically, your not doing the work." Choji chuckled, while popping a chip in his mouth.

"Well, at the rate orange-flash, and grey bullet are going I'd say their doing enough to cover for our work." Shikamaru yawned.

"I'd hate to see what they would do if they found us here though." Choji said with a shiver and nervous laugh.

"Yeah, those girls would have our heads." Mark commented, not wanting to have them discovered by the over reacting girls.

"Well we have Sasuke here, so they probly wont be so bad." Vass suggested.

"Not bad on him, the rest of us are screwed." Choji said knowledgably. The rest of the nine boys agreed.

"You do know the Hokage is watching, right." Shino, who came from the corner annouced.

"Does that mean I actually have to work?" Shikamaru asked exasperatly. "Well, might as well get going." He finished in a depressed voice.

"Aww, Shikamaru, you make it sound like a bad thing." Choji teased, coming out of the hiding spot to work, Shikamaru and the rest of the lazy boys behind him.

"Well, do you think it's g…" He never got to finish that sentence

"JUST WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU TWO WERE!!" Sakura and Ino yelled at the slakers. All around, the boys were surrounded by quite a few angry girls.

Sasuke sweat dropped, and the two flashes of color froze what they were doing to yell there two cents.

"HEY YOU COULD OF AT LEAST INVITED US!!" They hollored together, and then returned to flying about the library to outdo the other.

'_Whats up with the unison thing?' _They thought.

A couple of bruises from angry swinging girls later…

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE WORK!!" The girls yelled, while pushing the boys to a pile of files, standing over them like hawks coming in for the kill. They all scrambled to get to work, (except Sasuke of coarse) so as to keep there heads (and ears) from being crushed by the manacing looking girls.

All male figures in the library froze, all thinking one thing. '_Girls are __**SCARY!'**_ The students then continued to clean the library, fearing the girls sudden wrath be turned apon them.

Iruka and Sarutobi sweat-dropped.

"That's…interesting…" Saurtobi said.

"Yeah…" was all Iruka could offer.

Hinata watched the event unfold on the second floor, her arms filled with scrolls yet to be catagorized. She blushed when all the boys gave her a quick look that seemed to say: "THANK-YOU for not being bossy!"

She turned away to put up the scrolls, afraid of having the other girl's attention focused on her work.

* * *

About an hour later the library was clean and organized. Kiba and Naruto were panting and glaring. They both tied at 400 each. They looked around for another document, so that one may break the tie. There eyes fell apon a scroll in the middle of the floor, vulnerable and innocent. They shared a look and darted towards the scroll.

Everything seemed to move slow motion.

There steps slowed down, on the hard tile floor.

There breathing seemed to echo across the room

Every step seemed slow, and sounded like a low, but loud pounding

There arms stretched out

There faced displayed determination.

They were inches from the scroll

Just. A bit. Further.

There hands came close and…

They hit floor.

There bodies landed in a crumpled heap on the floor, where the scroll once was. They looked up, and saw Hinata, half surprised, half blushing. They shared a look that said "Why have you forsaken me?" before they both passed out from exhaustion.

"Oh my…" Hinata said, looking at the boys sleeping in a crumpled heap.

Iruka and the Hokage shared a long laugh, soon joined by every one else. Well, Hinata cracked a small smile, but you get the point.

* * *

"Dick and Jane is the single most boring and retarded story I have ever read." Naruto said flat out, tossing the book across his room. To learn to read he had to take it a step at a time. But that didn't mean he had to enjoy it.

"The papers the hokage reads are more enteresting than this!" He said, while waiting for his soup to boil. (**AN: **Literally that book was the most boring thing I have ever read. 'this is Dick, this is Jane. Jump Jane Jump.' Do they think we're stupid?!)

The Hokage kept him until dark again. Although, he did let Naruto sleep for a while. He was thank-full for that, anything was better than listening to completed D-rank missions, in full detail no less. " I hate D-rank missions too, they suck." He said, while pouring his ramen into a bowl.

'_Demo, I need to complete 20 (_is that the number_?) in order to be given a C-rank. Twenty missions wasted on doing chores around the village.' _He thought to himself while he was slurping his noodles. _'Well, it could help me gain at least twenty of the village's favor.' _He resolved. Though that didn't change how he felt about the whole situation.

"I just hope tomorrow we do something interesting." He sighed, retiring to sleep.

* * *

Another chapter down, and perhaps my fastest update yet. So, did you enjoy it? Please review your opinion.

Sorry for those who had to wait so long for an update. I am new to this, and was kinda slow in finding how to add new chapters. Please forgive me for the wait! ( I feel slightly retarded for it.)

**Translations: **

**Demo-but**

Notes:

**AN**: For those who are curious, I would just like to make a few things clear in chapter 3, since its been brought to my attention that it wasn't in the chapter.

1) No Naruto doesn't know the bushin, He can do stuff like that 'cause he's awesome! But literally, the secret to his be here one minute and somewhere far away the next technique will be explained sometime later.

2) There are 33 students in Naruto's class, 19 girls and 14 boys. (Unfair I know.) Not all the girls are fangirls, well, only three aren't crazy over Sasuke, as you can guess, Hinata is one of them. The others one will come out later on.

3) Naruto and his class are eight-year-olds.

4) If there's anything else that needs explaining that was hard to understand in any of the chapters, please let me know, I never want my readers to feel confused. Thanks for your help!

1) For those that don't know, Dick and Jane is a book for little kids learning how to read. In my opinoin it's very retarded sounding, but when my little brother was learning to read through it it was so cute! But not when you have to read it.

Well, that's all for now, I try and update soon.

Ja ne!


	5. Chapter 5: Barbeque rewards

* * *

Chapter 5: Barbecue rewards

**Chapter 5: Barbecue rewards. **

**Disclaimer****: **Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Naruto is coughnotcough mine!! That's right, I coughdonotcough own Naruto!! I own the plot.

* * *

**AN: I am skipping a week ahead**

The sun shone extra-bright today. The birds seemed to sing extra loud. The trees and grass looked as if they were smiling at the ocean of blue sky. The few white fluffy clouds joyuosly made there way across.

The academy seemed way more cheery today. Iruka's class-room itself was a bustle of activity. Why you ask. This class, as of this moment, was the product of envy for all the other classes.

Why? You ask again.

Today, this class was being treated by the hokage himself to barbecue in return for cleaning up the library.

What was the class doing in preparation?

Chatting happily.

"Neh, whats barbeque like anyway?" Our favorite blonde asked innocently.

"Whats is like? How could you not know **sesshoku** as wonderful as barbeque!Its the best **sesshoku** in the world!" Choji said, stars in his eyes.

"Really! Demo it can't be better than ramen." Naruto disputed, looking forward to this new food.

"Ohhh, you must be exposed to the wonderful world of barbeque!" Choji shouted with fire of dedication in his eyes.

"I personally favor dangos" Shikamaru added his two cents.

"How do they taste?" Naruto asked, tipping his head to the side in confusion.

"It'll be to troublsome to explain. We just have to get you to try it one day." Shikamaru yawned

"Don't tell me you never tried sushi eaither." Kiba said. Naruto shook his head.

"Man you have a food problem, we need to take you on a food expo! What have you been eating all this time?" Kiba asked

"Ramen" Was Naruto's curt answer.

"Just ramen, surely you have tried maguro?" Naruto scrounched up his face in confusion. "We must definatly cultivate your tounge." Shino said.

"What about pocky? Have you ever had that?" Sasuke asked. Naruto said no. "You have been horribly negleted in the food world." He sighed. (**AN. **Mmmm. Pocky.)

"Well now I have a list of things to do now!" Naruto said, with his goofy grin.

(With the girls)

* * *

"So what would your dream house look like, forehead girl?" Ino asked.

"My dream house would be a clan house, with marble floors, and lots of room for children. I'd have the most beautiful furnishings of the finest quality, there would be silver and gold lining the walls and doors, and of coarse, Sasuke-kun." Sakura said curtly.

"What about yours Ino-pig?"

"Well, forhead girl, my dream house would be as big as a clan house, except it would have gold and silver gates, stone walkways, and large lushious gardens with thousands of flowers blooming. The inside would have cherry wood and ivory furnishings, and a nice marble floors. The rooms would all be huge, and we'll have plenty of space for me and Sasuke-kuns kids." Ino smiled.

"What about you Hinata, what would you like as your dream house?" Both girls looked towards her expectantly.

"Ano, I just w-want a nice s-small c-comfy home, w-w-with a nice-sized garden, and a koi pond. I d-don't really w-want anyth-thing t-too f-fancy, j-just cozy." She said, blushing slightly.

"That does sound nice." They both agreed. "But mine is better."

"What do you mean Ino-pig, mine is the best!" Sakura glared at her love rival.

"As if, mine is a thousand times better than yours." Ino boasted, returning the glare.

"You wish, mine beats yours any day!" Sakura spat

"In your dreams, you wish yours was better than mine!" Ino shot

"Mine is best Ino-pig!"

"Please, mine pawns yours billboard brow!"

"Mine is the best!" Sakura yelled.

"No, mine!" Ino yelled back.

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

All the boys in the class sweat-dropped.

"What do you think there fighting over now?" Choji whispered.

"It probably has something to do with Sasuke." Kiba answered.

"Why me?" Sasuke whispered exasperatly.

"I feel sorry for Hinata." Shino said, looking at the blushing hyuuga who seemed to be trying to sink into her chair.

"Women are just troublesome." Shikamaru muttered, shaking his head.

"Wheres Naruto?" Choji asked, noticing the empty spot beside him that once had the said boy.

"He's over there!" Kiba whispered disbelievingly. Everyones attention was drawn on Naruto, who was talking with the girls.

"What could they be talking about?" Shino asked.

"I don't know." Choji said truthfully.

"Looks like everythings going good." Shikamaru said catiously.

"NARUTO YOU JERK!" Ino and Sakura said suddenly, punching the kid into the wall. The boys sweat dropped at the now unconcious blonde.

Once the girls rage was no longer on him, the group of boys ran over to see how he was. He was sitting down, rubbing his head.

"Yo, Naruto, whadda say to make them angry?" Kiba asked.

"Nothing! I just went over to asked what they were aguing about, they said it was about which of there dream houses was better. Then they all told me, and asked what I thought, I said Hinata's was the best, and there's sounded weird, and too fancy and they punched me!" He whinned, still rubbing his head.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru mumbled.

Choji laughed. "Naruto, my dear friend, you must learn to stay out of girls business."

Shino was shaking his head. "Just leave things alone next time.

"Hey, were they talking about Sasuke too?" Kiba asked, everyone looked to him expectanly.

"Yeah, they wanted Sasuke to live with them in there dream house, well, except Hinata." Naruto said. Sasuke shuttered.

"Why do _I _get chased by crazy fan girls? What did I do?" He asked deafeatidly.

"Your and Uchiha." They all said with a shrug.

"Why do I have to deal with a crazy group of rabid fangirls?" Sasuke asked the ceiling, as if it would give him the answer. "I mean, almost all of you have clans." He whinned.

"Girls are scared of bugs." Shino said simply.

"They don't like lazy." Shikamaru yawned.

"They think I'm too fat" Choji shrugged.

"They think I'm too wild." Kiba said, Akamaru barked afterwards. "Akamaru says thank-goodness." He smirked.

The group laughed at that.

"Alright class, its time to head out!" Iruka called excitingly, Mizuki at his side.

"Hey, Iruka-sensei, can we start learning jutsus when we get back?!" Naruto said, now eagerly in front of the teacher.

"Well, I'm glad you seem so eager to learn, but the purpose of the academy is to give you the basic knowledge that you will need as ninja. You have to master the basics before you can move on to higher level techniques." Iruka said, pushing Naruto out the class room after the class, who was being led by Mizuki.

"But Iruka-sensei!" Naruto protested, already knowing that this was a lost cause. "Cant we skip ahead of the basics, even just a little bit?" He asked, hope in his aqua eyes.

"No Naruto." Iruka sighed. "Think of it this way, if you learn a jutsu without learning the basics, then you cant possibly change it from its original use. On the other hand, if you know the basics, and know a jutsu, you can possibly change and malipulate that jutsu to a style that fits you." Iruka smirked, idea popping in his head. "The fourth hokage went out of his way to learn the basics, because with them he was able to make up his own special jutsu, like the rasengan." He finished with a smile. Naruto's eyes were wide.

"Alright! I'll learn the basics and then I can make my own jutsu! Cool!" He all but shouted, attracting some glances from his classmates, and hateful stares of the villagers. Naruto then put his chin on his fist, resting his elbow on his folded arm. He adopted this thinking pose a little while ago.

'_Hn, if what Iruka-sensei says is true, that means I can actually create my own jutsus like the fourth, and other hokages! That will bring me one step closer to my goal of being Hokage! But first I need to learn the basics. I'm just barely reading as it is! But I am getting better at it. I know I can swim, even for only a short time. So I can spend more time trying to get my reading down pack._ _But that also means I have to learn more chakra control. Water seems to be my best bet at practicing. I wonder if I can get some chakra control exersises from the sensies, and maybe even that old guy…' _He mused.

'_I also need to get faster, that would greatly help reduce the amount of damage done by mobs if I could run them down in energy, or better yet, not get caught at all. Having the ANBU chase me is good practice but…' _He shuddered _'the…paperwork…is…horrible. So that only leads to training alone. I know there aren't much people out in the mornings, so I can use that time to train.' _

His musing were interrupted when he bumbed into Sasuke, falling onto the ground. Sakura and Ino were immediately on him, both punching him on his cheek hard into the ground and yelling about bumping into "Their Sasuke-kun." He would have yelled (whinned) in protest, but something else had his mind.

_Man those hurt! But at leastI found a new activity… ' _He thought mischiviously_. _He looked up to see Iruka-sensei scolding the girls about there violence towards the blonde. He stood back up quickly, already feeling the tingling spread across his face, which meant he was healing.

'_Good thing I heal fast.'_ He mused '_If I didn't I would be dead a long time ago.' _His musings were cut short again when his friends asked if he was okay.

"Yo, Naruto, are you alright? You look a little out of it." Shikamaru voiced everyones thoughts as they saw the blond still staring off in space, his hand on his cheek.

"Huh?" He said, snapping out of his stupor and moving the hand from his face to the back of his head. "Oh don't worry about me! It doesn't even hurt." He said loudly, getting winces from all the class as they saw about half his face was bruised. "It'll be gone befor you know it!" He smiled a goofy grin.

"You sure your alright Naruto?" Iruka asked, voice leaking his concern. "That's a nasty bruise."

Naruto almost wanted to cry that they seemed to care so much about him. All his life he's been alone, reciving nothing but hatred and loathing from the villagers. Just reciently he's been with them, and yet, he feels like he feels like he's known them forever. He was so happy to see the concern of there faces. Concern for HIM. The hated one, the outcast, the '_beast.' _They were worried about HIM, and wanted to know if HE'S alright. He almost just cried on the spot.

Naruto grew the biggest, and most honest smile he's ever worn. Not his trademark fox grin, but a big, heart-felt smile. "I'm fine, honest. It'll be gone in no time!" He said confidently. They nodded, satisfied with the response and continued to their destination.

Finally, just before Naruto could start up a protest about the trip being so long, they arrived at the resturant. The hokage was at the door, waving them in. The students and two senseis immediately pick up there pace, and all but ran into the resturant.

It was a large place, with black floor tiles and off white marble cabnients. There were tables scattered all around the place, and the booths sat lined across the wall. The chairs had dark red cushiouns in a fancy-looking black metal chairs. The booths were black, with the off-white marble tables like the counters. The seats also lined with the dark red cushioning. (A/N: alright, I have no clue what the actuall resturant looks like, I am basing this off of some coney islands and a fancy-shamncy resturaunts I always see ppl go to on T.V.)

The hokage lead them to a corner table, which the seats were all lined up in a 'C'. Everyone fit in quite comfortably. It was then that Naruto noticed an unfamiliar boy slide next to him. He had on a large smile, and sported sloppy brown hair. The hokage then sat next to the boy, which was also at the end of the table. On Naruto's left was Choji, next to him was a sleepy-looking Shikamaru. After the pinnaple head was Kiba, and then Sasuke. Hinata was next to Sasuke, Sakura was next to Hinata with Ino, who was next to Nita, and she was next to...dang that's a long table… after some other names came Iruka, and last on the other edge was Mizuki.

A tall middle-aged waitress with a sandy brown high pony tail, and pearcing green eyes happily greeted them. In her hands, sporting dark pink manacured nails with green swirl designs, she held a stack of menues. She wore the standart uniform: black pants and shirt with a crisp white apron on. It was bordered with red vines. On her left side of her chest sported a white name tag, that had red letters printed on it that said "Tandy."

"Hi, welcome to the Tabemas no Yoshi! Known all around for its delicious barbeque dishes." She greeted happily. ( AN: IDK the actual name of the place, so I called it the eat-good. Sounds corny in English, but in Japanese it sounds cool. D) I'll be your waitress Tandy, please look at our fine selection of food. I'll be back in a few minute take your orders." She smiled handing the stack to Sarutobi, who took one and passed the rest down. They followed his example. At the hokages smile, she walked/skipped away to the kitchen, coming back out with food for another set of customers.

The group then popped open there menues, murmering (well more like talking thinking that nobody else could hear them) about which food they should choose. Naruto first glared at the menu, that seemed to mock his inability to read most of the foods there. He grinned as an idea popped into his head. He then turned to the Akamichi gleefuly reading the food choices next to him.

"Hey! Choji, since you've eatened here before and all, what do you think I should try?" Naruto asked his friend grinning. Choji returned it.

"There is no possible way to choose which one of these fine barbeque delacacys are the best! You must try them all!" He all but shouted, stars flashing in his eyes. The hokage laughed at the boys antics (and held a silent memorial in his head for his wallet.)

"I feel that that would be the best coarse of action!" He smiled at Choji. The waitress came back immediately after he finished. "Are you all ready for me to take your orders?" She asked gleefully. Everyone (except Naruto.) all had one thought in mind. '_Dang she reminds me of someone I know!' _There eyes at some point or another glaced at the aformentioned child.

The hokage ordered Everything on the menu for the group, with some mango smoothies. The waiter skipped happily towards the kitchen after the order was finished, holding the paper that held them like her life line. The group soon started talking amongst themselves. Naruto decided to get to know who the younger boy was.

"Hey, I'm Uzamaki Naruto, who are you?" He asked with a large fox grin. The kid smiled at the blond. "I'm Sarutobi Konahomaru! And I'm gonna be the next Hokage!" He said with energy. Naruto smiled, and said,

"Sarutobi huh, so your related to Ojiisan here, and sorry to tell ya bu I'm gonna be the next Hokage!" He grinned widly.

"Yeah, I'm his grandson, and no, your mistaken, I **will **be the next hokage!" The other challenged challenge.

"Oh no you wont, I am, and you better believe it!" Naruto said. Tension rising with there voices as they glared at each other. Some of the people at the resturaunt turned to stare at the two (well glare at Naruto).

"I'll be the next hokage! Just you wait! Its my head that will be carved in that mountain!

"Yeah! After mine that is!" Naruto shouted back. The students staring at the two weirdly, and the three adults tensed. '_Not an argument befor we even eat!' _They all wined to themselves.

Naruto felt intensive glares burn holes in his back. '_Well, I am arguing with the third's grandson.'_ He thought to himself, shrugging off the feeling of '_Stop that or well get you later' _from there glares. He knew he had to be extra careful walking around now. He mentaly cursed the people making a walk home so difficult.

"Yeah right! I guess this maks you my rival, and why did you call my Ojiisan 'Ojiisan?' Konahamaru asked just now catching that comment. The hokage sweat-dropped and twitched. The people took a que to mind there own business when Sarutobi released some killing intent in the air to the snoopy/glaring costomers. They were quick to turn to there own buisiness once again.

'_This kinda talk makes me feel old…'_ Sarutobi smirked to himself at that thought, remembering on how he gloated on "never being old" whe he was actually young enough to get away with it.

Naruto calmed down a bit, sensing that the people turned away, and he didn't feel like dealing with there hate more than he had to. "Well, I don't have one of my own, and I always felt that he was a grandfather to me." Naruto said in a calmer but happy demeanor. Konahomaru's eyes got wide.

"Well that means your like my big brother, right?" He asked, hope in his eyes. Naruto thought for a moment, before he broke out into a huge grin.

"Yeah! Cool, that means I have a little brother now!" He smiled. The thought of having a little brother warmed him.

"Cool! I have a big brother!" Konahamaru nearly launched out of his seat, smiling broadly along with Naruto, both looked like they just been given the key to Disney World.

The group all sweat-dropped at the two's sudden shift to being strangers, then rivals, and now brothers in a matter of two and a half minutes. Sarutobi smiled, the two really did seem like brothers. And he already saw Naruto as his grandchild, so he was rather happy that the meeting between the two had gone better than he'd originally planned. He was worried it might not end well when they started arguing, but then again, he felt that he was simply getting to old to understand how kid's minds worked. One minute there happy, next there sad, them mad, the list of shifting just goes on and repeats.

Children were just hard to predict.

The two kept on chatting excitedly to each other. Even though they were loud and couldn't be understood because they were speaking fast and at the exact same time. Despite not being understood by others, the two seemed to be knowing of exaclty what was going on. They kepts nodding in agreement and making rapidly changing signs of what ever they felt on the subject(s) they were discussing.

The group never knew anyone could talk as fast as them, and be understood too.

The ninja-in-training were straining to listen to the conversation. (Them some snoopy kids.) The adults simply didn't try at all to listen. They knew better than to sign themselves up for garunteed head-ache.

Soon the food arrived, (the plates where more abundant than normal for the Hokage was there). The students only caught a "Sure thing boss" From Konahamaru. Nobody could follow the sudden shift in titles, but they really weren't concerned with that when a hand of deliscious barbeque smell turned there heads towards the five waiters and waitress, all carrying large silver platters of steaming food. The first and second pans were stacked high with barbeque. The third was actually a large bowl with rice, the fourth held dangos, sushi, and such. The fifth had mango fruit smoothies for them all.

The group eyed the food hungrily, as if they haven't ate in days, as the Hokage was discussing something to the waiter.

Naruto was really studying his drink closely, comparing it to the others with a trained eye. After a thourough examination, he nodded his approval.

There was one thing he was looking for.

Poison.

He shuddered suddenly, remembering the first time he was poisoned.

FLASH BACK

It was another ordinary day in the orphanage. A four-year-old Naruto was, as usual, just finishing his wash-up as he brushed his hair out. For any normal four-year-old, it would have to be paranormal curcumstances that would have one preparing for the day at four in the morning. But for Naruto is was normal.

He lived in a small room in the orphange. Everything was plain tan and yellow. From the yellow walls to the tan wooded floors. Nothing decorated the place except a dresser, a bed, a little brown stool, and an empty book-shelf. He as of the moment was in his bathroom, preparing for the day.

In about five hours, the caretakers of the orphanage would be awaking the other orphans to prepare them for the day. His nerves tightend at the thougth of having them wake him up. He doesn't know why, but the caretakers were always rough with him. They would rudly jostle him around, give him rough srubbings in the bath, nearly tear out his hair, all for the end result for him to look worse than we he awoke.

This is what made him prepare himself for the day as soon as he could walk. The caretakers were happy because they didn't have to deal with him, as he was happy that they weren't roughing him up. Soon he was ready, and he went to work making sure the place was spotless. Appearently the janators through a fit with him leaving any kind of mess, taking their anger out on him.

Once that job was done, he sat on the little stool. That's what his mornings were like. Wake up, wash up, clean up, sit and shut-up.

True, during this time he didn't do anything but sit there. Things were never good if he didn't. Apparently the care-takers never liked him to play around. He barely had any contact with the other children. His room was nowhere near the other kids. When he played and ate with them the others stayed away, because the care-takers would punish them for playing with him After sitting watching the clock until about 9:55, the sound of the lock of the door being opened echoed through the room

He stood up instantly, and backed up to the corner of the room. He put his head down so as to not see the visitor. For some reason, they never wanted him to look at them. The door closed again, and locked. He looked up, and walked over to the pancake breakfast. He nearly had a heart attack when he saw a plate of steaming fresh pancakes with lightly scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

This meal was unusual. They never fed him the best of foods. They alwasys fed him last, and the most stalest, coldest food on hand. He didn't know why the sudden change. He stared at the food like it was about to pull out a weapon. He gently crept over to the meal. Something in him told him to throw the food away. His stomach's growling shut-up that precaution.

Naruto ate the food fast, trying to enjoy what freshly prepared food tasted like. While he was eating, he noted the food had a tiny purple hint to it. He found that odd. He shrugged it off. When he mentioned his ability to see differing colors and detail quite accuratly, they shunned him, and said that he had inferior abilities compared to the standard new-born. He believed that the slight tint had something to do with the food being fresh this time. Besides, he ate the last bite quickly, leaving nothing to analyze further.

Five minutes later, his temperature sky-rocketed, as sudden intinsive pain shot through his systems. He suddenly froze, and fell to the floor. He murmered on the ground in protest to the pain, splayed on the floor, unable to move a muscle. He tried valiently not to make any sort of noise that would attact the abusive caretakers. He doesn't know how long he was there, but he knew that he fell in and out of conciousness frequently. One morning, with the sun beaming on his face, he awoke grogily, as a blood-red haze clouded his vision. It immediately dissapated when he was up. He was confused at this, but shrugged it off as an affect of what ever happened to him.

He looked to the clock, noticing that it was breakfast time again. After his normal routine, although slower that usual, the breakfast-bringer once again bought the child food. This time it was back to the cold stale break-fast. As he was about to eat he herd yelling through the vent. He went closer to that wall, and listened. Even though there conversation was clearly brodcasted across the room. This was normally how he listened to others conversations.

"What do you mean he Lived!" He recognized the lady's voice as one that yelled at him before. "You said you made that batch of Black Berry poisoning twice as strong as usual!" She screatched. Naruto felt something stab his heart. "I don't know! Maybe you put to much food with it that it wasn't strong enough to kill him!" He heard a man yell. Another stab. "Its not my fault the demon-brat lived!" She hollard. "I wanted him dead just as much as you!"

That was it. He was though listening. He turned away, and ran to cry in his bed. He used the pillow to silence there hurtful shouts from his ears. The pain and lonliness was just to much that day, as he cried himself to sleep.

END FLASH BACK

Naruto's hands clenched in his lap at that memory. That was the first time he was poisoned. Sadly from there each poison was more potent, as they brought him a lot of pain. After a while, he was able to spot out most poisoned foods, and became a professor in identifying them.

He then briefly went through all the other poison experiences he had. It struck him strange to realize that all those times, he awoke with a thick red haze, that dissipated soon after his wake. He started to think about it, but the smell of food wafted his attention.

'_think later' _Was his only thought, as he immediately began to eat the food.

"WoW Choji you were right this is good!" Naruto all but yelled.

"I know!" He said happily, almost inhaling the foods, along with Naruto.

"I still like ramen the best, but this is the second best food in the world!" He yelled, stars in his eyes.

"To the untrainted tounge. This is yet to be, The absolute best food in the world!" He yelled as loud as naruto. The back-ground exploded with fire-works as his eyes displayed joy and dedication to this food. He was quick to return to eating the food with Naruto.

Iruka and Sarutobi sighed. _'they eat like they have been starving for weeks.' _The both thought. Mizuki looked indifferent. The students sweat-dropped at the whole situation. Everyone soon snapped out there thoughts and began to eat themselves, for fear of the two devouring it befor they got a bite. Konahomaru was about the only one eating with the two befor this point, although more civily than the two food-loving, unbelievably-big-never-ending-stomach endowned boys.

"Jees, you two eat like pigs!" Sakura said, while cutting her steak in bit sized picies.

"Where do you put it all? Theres no way eating like that can be healthy." Ino added her own comment, after swallowing a sip of juice.

"Hey, when your hungry your hungry." Shino said curtly.

"They are people that really understand the value of food." Kiba added in his two cents, also sticking up for his friends.

"It's too troublesome to explain to girls" Shikamaru said shortly, preparing to eat a piece of barbeque chicken.

All the boys nodded there heads in agreement. The two girls humphed away. Hinata just looked at it all wondering if she should do something…nah.

Sasuke also had the same thoughts. But then again, he took to what Shikamaru said; too troublesome.

The meal went buy quick, with light conversations around the table as the food was being consumed at alarming pace ( I wonder by whom). Soon enough, everyone was heading out. Iruka and Mizuki began to lead students back to the academy. Iruka was up front with Mizuki leading up the rear. Sasuke was right behind Iruka, inbetween his huddle of fan-girls, and getting lots of attention as he walked past from other fan-girls. Hinata was behind them, aside Shino and Shikamaru. Next was Choji and Kiba. Leading up after them was Naruto, and then the white-haired chuunin.

Everybody was simply enjoying the peaceful walk back to the academy in relative silence. A few stray green leaves fluttered past, attracting the attention of one particular shinobi-to-be.

'_Theres going to be a storm tonight.' _He thought to himsel. He never told anybody, but he always could tell when ones coming. It was just something he knew. From the way the air thikened, and became more moist, to the way his sences would just tell him staight-out: storm, tonight, storm, tonight…

'_That means I wont be able to train like I planned too.' _He thought a little depressingly. '_Oh well, I'll just have to emprovize. I'll be able to get in a lot of reading though. I'll survive, it's not like it'll kill me to have a change of plans.' _With a final nod, he ended his thought.

He knew one thing tonight.

Nothing was going to stop him from training.

* * *

Another chappie down. Sorry it took so long for the update. I have a science fair project to complete and really don't have any free time for it. I'll try to update more often, so please forgive my lateness!

Translations:

Sesshoku-food

Sayonara for now folks! Please review!


	6. Chapter 6: A new discovery

Chapter 6: The new discovery

**Chapter 6: The new discovery!**

Disclaimer: I'll own Naruto when someone invents a time machine. (then I can go back in time and make Naruto first! HAHAhAHAHAHA!!)

**AN: **Sorry for the wait of this chapter.

* * *

"Why does it have to rain now!" an irate Naruto thought as he was pulling on an oversized gray raincoat. He was glaring out the window while zipping the coat.

"Would you stop the rain already!" He yelled at the rain, half expecting it to stop. He sighed when it rained more. It was raining all night long, and it shows no sign of stopping the down pour. An upset Uzamaki was forced to walk in the pounding rain.

He put on his hood, and trudged out the door.

The rain was coming down hard and fast, that coupled with wind, and the muddy ground forced him to walk painfully slow.

"I hate walking though rain! Why does this damn storm keep on raining?!" He muttered to himself, as he pushed himself to the academy. Rain drops whipped his face, and made it hard for him to see.

He hated this feeling. He felt so vulnurable out in the rain. Not able to defend himself, run away, or even see the danger. He felt like a sitting duck.

Although the storm was also keeping those who wanted to hurt him stuck behind there doors and windows.

That didn't make him feel anyless weak.

"DAMMIT!" he shouted as he slipped into some mud. Now he **really **hated the rain. Cursing a string of colorful words no child should know, he quickly got back up and began his trek to the building. He took off his coat, that was now soaked inside and out with mud and rain, and let the rain wash the mud from his clothes and hair.

'_What good is a raincoat when your already wet.' _He thought sourly, putting back on the now mudless coat when all the mud on him was washed away. He looked up and caught a glimps of the academy just a little way up ahead. '_Good, I cant stand walking in this storm much longer.'_ He though moodily.

After what seemed like ages, he was inside the warm building, standing at the door while ringing out his clothes, leaving a mightly large puddle at the door. He started shivering once the heat touched his skin, telling him how cold he really was. The feeling of pins and needles soon found it's way onto him.

'_note to self, in storms, bring extra clothes.' _He thought sourly. Once the excess water was gone from his cloths and hair, he trudged his way to the classroom. He opened the door, only to find it empty. "Figures I came early." He rolled his eyes, while making his way toward his seat. His damp hair was spilled messily on his face, covering his eyes. His bright orange outfit was now a blood-orange color. His face scrunched up in a scowl as he peeled off his jacket and hung it from the back of the chair.

He glanced/glared at the clock.

6:35

'_How in the hell did I come that early!?' _He screamed in his head, until his eyes caught the "Happy daylight savings time" on the board. He moaned and slammed his head in the desk

"How could I forget that!" He scolded himself. After a few more minutes of self pity, he decided to study. His mucsels were still tired from last nights training. Since he was stuck at home, he was trying to do 400 push-ups, only to colapse at 40. He decided then to put reaching 400 pushups at the top of his list.

He opened his tan text book, reading from the first page. He was much better at reading since he spent two and a half days straigt practicing. It was rained through those days as well. Even though he was impecably slow in reading, he could still do it.

After reading what they already covered in class, he began to flip through pages looking for something to pique his interest. Near the middle of the thick book, his eyes caught the title that changed him from there on out.

"Setting basic traps" He read aloud, opening the book looking as if he found the map to Atlantis.

Slowly and meticulously he read the detailed pages and studied the diagrams. Even though they were basic traps, the gears in his mind started turning full throttle, planning all the ways he could use this info to prank the hell out of Konoha.

"Today isn't so bad after all!" He said gleefully, rereading the passage a fourth time to make sure he got all the details right. He chuckled evily once he was done, closing the book.

Lets just say a LOT of ANBU aren't going to be happy later on…

His devious thoughts were interupted when Hinata quietly walked through the door. Despite his mishaps in the rain, she looked perfectly fine, as if there was no rain at all.

"Hey Hinata-chan!" He said loudly, joy from his new information spilling into his greeting.

"H-h-hi N-n-n-nar-tuto-k-kun" She stuttered, turning red from his attention. Soon she was seated behind him.

'_I never really talk to Hinata much...she seems like a nice person.' _He thought to himself, resolving to talk to the shy Hyuuga.

"So I see that you made it through the rain pretty fine, huh?" He asked smiling, looking at how she didn't have a drop of rain on her.

"Urm, there was-s no r-rain when I c-came." She stuttered, Naruto's eyes went wide. He turned his attention to the window, which showed the outside world not spilling a drop of rain, despite the black clouds ominously hovering over-head. He turned to the side to see the time.

7:45

"I think the sky hates me." He muttered defeatidly, hanging his head low.

"D-don't say th-that" Hinata said, turning her pearly eyes to the blonde, before swinging them back to her twiddling fingers with her face glowing a light tint of red.

"Well, I guess it wasn't all that bad. I made it here alive after all, even if I had more water on me than a lake." He said perking up. Hinata giggled lightly at his attempt at humor.

"H-how early did you c-come?" she said her quiet queston. Feeling happy that she was stuttering less.

"Oh, I came at 6:45." He said. Hinata looked at him with wide surprised eyes. He quickly explained. "Yeah, I forgot to set my clock to daylight savings time…" He laughed shepishly while rubbing the back of his head. Hinata returned her redded face back to her twiddling fingers.

She was preparing to say something when the door burst open, making both of them jump.

"I WIN!" Two girls hollored in unison. The other two occupants sweat-dropped as Ino and Sakura began there "No I did" ritual. After about five minute, Shikamaru trudged his way into the class, behind the qualling duo. He sleepily made his way to his seat. He waved lazily to Naruto when he gave him his normally loud greeting. Soon enough, he was dozing off in his seat.

"That's Shikamaru for you" Kiba said as he walking in soon after.

"It would be weird to see anything else." Naruto shugged. Kiba nodded, and Akamaru barked in agreement from atop his head.

"You got that right." Choji said from behind the dog owner. All four of them chuckled, while the two boys took there seat. The girls humphed there way into there seats soon enough.

The rest of the class entered steadily. Finally Iruka came carrying a manilla folder. Once everyone was settled he called there attention.

"Today we have a test…" As soon as the word test came out everyone groaned in misery.

* * *

"How could you fail such an easy test?" Sasuke smirked at the upset blonde when he caught sight of his grade.

"Shut it teme." He growled out, getting annoyed with the Uchiha.

"Hey, I'm not the one who made you fail dobe." He prodded.

'_You duck-but hair style was enough of a distraction' _He thought angrily, trying not to punch the raven-haired antagonist. He would if it weren't for his fan-girls hovering around.

It was recess, and everyone was sitting in the lunch-room. The rain made the ground very muddy, so no outside play was allowed. He had felt many, _many _glares from the fangirls that herd his 'teme' remark.

'_Can't get a break from these annoying glares can I'_ He thought sourly. _'and whats up with him, he gets one A and he starts poking fun at the person with the worst grades. He needs to go jump in the lake!' _Naruto then started imagining pushing Sasuke down a bottomless pit. Ahhh that seemed like the appropiat answer.

His friends tried to offer some help, but the fangirls put them in quick submission.

"I think you are the most arrogant person I have ever met." He said flatly, tired of the Uchiha's 'I know everything and you don't' look. As soon as those words left his mouth, the hundreds of fangirls in the lunch room was menacingly approching him, the look they gave him promised pain. In the lead of the mob was, of coarse, Ino and Sakura.

All the boys sweat-dropped. All thinking the same thing. _'doesn't he know not to insult Sasuke with his fangiirls there…Now he's screwed.' _Yep. This looked like the end of Naruto Uzamaki as we know it.

Naruto slid back into his chair, holding his hands infront of him in defence.

"C-c-c-cant w-w-we t-t-t-alk t-th-this o-o-out?" He said hopefully. There glares intensified as they got closer.

"NO ONE INSULTS SASUKE-KUN!!" They all yelled, preparing to jump the now pale blonde. As there fist was andvancing closer, about to hit the defensless boy…

BRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!

Saved by the bell.

The bell signaling the end of lunch distracted the girls for a second. They returned there attention back to Naruto, hoping to get in a few quick licks, only to find an empty chair. Sighs of dissapointment and promises to get the boy later were herd as the mob of crazed fan-girls slowly dispersed to there classes.

"Man Naruto, that was a close shave." Kiba spook to a garbage can next to him. "It's okay to come out now." And with that, the lid of the can slowly lifted to reveal the sunny-blonde himself. He was slowly trembling as he pooked his head out the can. Once he saw the mob was gone, he climbed out the trash. A banana peel was on his shoulders, an apple core stuck in his hair. He was covered in crumbs, plastic wrappings, and remains of food.

"That was a close one." He sighed, trying to get the apple core from his hair. Kiba, and Choji laughed at his trash covered form. Shikamaru shook his head exaspertly, a bemused smirk on his face. Shino's expression was unreadable, and Sasuke smirked him.

"hey, Halloween isnt for another couple of months." Sasuke interjected. Naruto shot him a glare, while trying to removed the rest of the food-trash from his form.

"Shut it." Naruto growled out. Today was not his day. Once all the trash was off, he headed towards the bathroom. The others followed.

Once the unknown sticky substances were gone from his cloths, hair and face, courtasy of the sink, he turned to the others, to find Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba, and Akamaru waiting for him.

"aren't you guys supposed to be in class?" Naruto asked them.

"Yeah, but we didn't want to sit through Iruka's boring lectures." Kiba said in board tones. Akamaru barked in agreement from inside his jacket.

"So your all skipping classes?" Naruto looked at them shocked. "Is there even such a thing possible?" He asked.

Choji spoke up then, getting ready to open a new bag of chips. "Man first food and now this? You seriously need to get out more." He said shaking his head. "You act as if you been stuck in a box up until now" He chuckled.

"Look at it this way…" Shikamaru said drapping his arm over Naruto's shoulders.

(Timeskip)

"Who knew you could be so persuasive." Naruto said sarcastically, while washing one of the desks.

"Hey how was I supposed to know Iruka was gonna be so troublesome?" Shikamaru said in defense, from his position in mopping the floor.

"There should be a law against this." Choji said near tears, constantly looking from the chalk-board he was scrubbing to the draw were his snacks were locked up in.

"I know what you mean." Kiba sighed, wringing out his sponge as he scrubbed the walls.

"Well, at least we had fun." Naruto sighed. Despite being in trouble, he didn't really regrete having fun with his friends. After being hated so much, friendship was welcomed at all costs.

"Lets just not do this too often." Kiba said depressingly.

"I don't want to do this ever again!" Choji cried, his eyes were big and watering as he stared at the draw that held his snacks behind it's evil clutches.

"Who knew you could hold so many snacks. Its all to troublesome for me." Shikamaru sighed, sympathy for his friend were evident in his voice more that his words.

"My snacks!" He said dramatically.

"I'm glad that Iruka-sensei cant take away my ra- hey wait…" He said everything now setting in. He was now on the ground, rivlets of tears streaming down his face with a new revelation. "Iruka-sensei will probly never treat me to ramen again!!" He yelled dramatically.

Kiba, Akamaru, and Shikamaru all sweat-dropped. '_They act like they'll never eat there favorite foods again…'_ They thought together.

Shikamaru's lips curled up into a smirk. A plan came into mind.

"Well, he might change his mind about all that if you guys impress him with how clean the class is." He said with a shrug. As soon as he said it The food-despared duo immediately looked at each other, fire burning in there eyes.

"RIGHT! LET'S CLEAN!" They said together, before they blurred off to clean the class. In about one minute the class-room was sparkling. Shikamaru and Kiba were looking at there hands were sponges once were, and looked to the duo collasped on the sparkling floor, cleaning supplies were themselves sparkling and put up in the storage closet neatly.

They looked around the sparkling class-room, having to shade there eyes with there hands to see through the shine and not be blinded.

"Wow" Was all they could think to say.

* * *

"Too. Much. Shine." Naruto said as he pushed open the classroom door. His sights was immediately blinded by the shine of the class. "No wonder Iruka was so happy last night…mmmm, that was some good ramen." He told himself as he went over to his desk. He cracked open his book, reading of yesterday's lesson that he skipped out on.

He came very early that morning, and his mucsles didn't hurt as much from trying to reach 400 push-ups last night. This time around, he fell out after 55. After reading through the chapter on "History of Konoha foundings" about four times, he sat back to relax in his seat.

'_Lets see, everything seems to be working out perfectly. Failing that test and skipping classes seem to have worked wonders for my 'dead-last' act. I have the perfect prank to pull later today MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I have great new friends, Sasuke is a down-side. The fan-girls are annoying. Iruka is nice. Yep, everything is fine and good.' _He thought to himself. After breaking out of his reverie, he looked over to the clock.

7:00

Yep, it was still early. He decided to see what else his book hd to offer. He bagan to flick through the pages, looking for something, anything to catch his interest. He found it in a few chapters about practicing chakra control. He read that until once again, Ino and Sakura bursted through the door, causing him to jump out his seat and slam his book shut.

"I W- Ahhh the light!!" They screamed the moment the shine hit there eyes, as they shaded them with there hands scwinting. Naruto snickered to himself, then he layed his head on his desk, deciding to get in a quick nap.

* * *

"NARUTO SOMEONES STEALING ALL THE RAMEN!" Choji yelled,

"WHAT! RAMEN!! **I'LL KILL THE THEIF!!"** Naruto snapped up from his nap and onto his desk in an instant. He froze, looked around to see no ramen theif in sight, just a snickering Shikamaru, Choji, Kiba, and Akamaru. (Do dogs snicker?)

"About time you got up, we tried everything!" Kiba said exasperatly.

"Huh, what? Did I miss something?" Naruto asked now siting indian style on the desk-top, throwing them a confused look.

"Yeah, like half the class! Even Shikamaru doesn't sleep that long." Choji said. "Its time for lunch now." As soon as he said that Naruto's stomach let out a loud growl. He shrugged sheepishly.

"Oh, I didn't mean to sleep that hard. Thanks for waking me up, although..." He voice then got dark, and he said in an evil tone that would have made the Hokage shiver in fear "**Do not **_**Ever **_**kid about ramen **_**AGAIN!**_" The others nodded, feeling very small at the moment.

"H-hey. Lets get l-lunch n-now" Choji stuttered out, not liking the evil looking Naruto.

"Sure, okay!" Naruto said happily now. Everyone sweat-dropped, all thinking one thing.

'_Naruto's Bipolar…' _

So they went in, ate lunch, chatted, yadiyadayada. Hiphip chereo and all that. They went back to class, went through more lectures, went home. Naruto ate ramen, rushing through events, next he…aww skrew this, I'm just gonna time skip.

* * *

"FIRE!" Iruka shouted out to the group of students, all whome were lined up, kunais in hand and targets at a distance in front of them. His eyes watching diligently on there progress.

"Once again, good job Sasuke." Iruka said looking at his bull's eye. "Same for you Hinata, and Choji." He nodded towards them who also hit near the mark. "Naruto twist the wrist more out-ward. Sakura bend your knees more, Shino add more force. Shikamaru, at least try!" He said correcting the students. "Nita remember the form, Mark stop trying to be fancy, same for you crhis, and all of you need to practice more aim." He nodded. The students all chorused a "Hai Sensei" as they went to collect the kunais to try again.

Sasuke was, as expected, either hitting a bull's eye or somewhere close to it. Everyone else was missing horribly. Well, Hinata was close behind him and Choji was third. Besides them, everyone else missed. Sakura and Ino were in competition with the aim game. They most-likely would hit the target if they spent less time glaring and more time aiming. Shikamaru was doing more yawning and scowling than anything else, not putting any type of effort into his throws. Shino just had problems with the force behind the throw, Kiba was just struggling with aim, and Naruto…well lets just say its looking hopeless.

Normally that would be bad if he were aiming for the target. But that wasn't the case. Lets take a peek into our 'hopeless' blonde's mind shall we.

'_Focus...focus…focus…THEIR!' _Naruto thought as he singled out a small brown spider on the wall of the large room they were in. _'Wow! If I knew I could do this then I would always do it!_ _I gotta use this to help with my pranks!' _The excited blonde thought. Now why could he be so happy? Lets rewind a bit.

(FLASH BACK NO JUTSU)

The class stood, most looking excited, infront of Iruka in the large target room as Iruka explained the ins and outs of how to throw kunais.

"You must remember to focus on your target, and focus on aiming for that target." Iruka explained. Naruto was one of the most attentive ones.

'_Focus Naruto, concentrate on focus!' _Naruto said to himself_._ He looked at his target, focusing, concentrating, focusing. As he went deeper into it, his vision started sharpening. Colors became more defined, lines and shadows stood out more, things that don't belong stuck out like an ink spill on a white shirt.

Like the finely camophlaged brown spider, slowly making its way on the wall.

Even though that's not his target, moving things stand-out more than still, plain, boring things.

So here was Naruto staring at the spider.

Aiming at the spider

Just missing the spider, which scurried away from its near-death.

Relocating the spider.

And repeating the process all over again.

So in all actuallity, he really wasn't missing his target.

In the periods between throws, he would loose focus, to watch his vision return to normal, then refocus, and see that his vision once again, became sharper. Now that was an interesting occurance. He noted later to look in the librarys to see if it's a doujutsu.

Now that you know how it started, lets get back to the present.

(END FLASH BACK NO JUTSU)

"Naruto focus more on your target! Ino and Sakura separate!" Iruka broke Naruto from his spider target and broke the girls from there glaring match.

"Hai Sensei!" The three replied, now being the only ones who were no where near there target. "Guess I should aim for the actuall target" Naruto muttered to himself, preparing to through another kunai. Once the girls were re-situated away from each other, Iruka gave the command to thow.

This time Naruto hit the outer ring of the target. The girls near the second ring. Sasuke, Choji, Kiba, and Hinata all hit dead center. Shikamaru and Shino not to far off. Iruka smiled at the progress. "Good you all, lets give it one last through, then we all go home!" Iruka said. For once, the students moaned about leaving school. (I would too if I was so close with being a perfect shot. That happened to me at school with basketball.) Naruto refocused his attention to his target. He was a little flustered that he could aim so well when the target was a moving spider but not when he actually tried to hit the still, large bull's eye. His attention went to the bull's eye. Focused on the dead center. The large red dot in the middle of the target. The teacher gave the final call.

He took aim.

He fired.

And hit…

The second to outer rim.

Naruto had to contain himself from falling over anime style.

'_This. Kunai. Is. Defective.' _He thought, glaring holes through the black, lethal, stubborn blade.

"That's all for today, please return the kunais, and class is dissmissed." Iruka said, standing near the box of kunais. The students proceded to turn in there weapons, say their good-byes, and left.

* * *

"I just can't throw." Naruto sighed, depressed at how poorly he did. '_WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF TRAINING IN __AIM__!!_'

"Hey, its not that bad, you just need more practice." Kiba said sympathatically. Akamaru barked his agreement from Kiba's head.

"All isn't lost! You were starting to improve in the end." Choji added.

"Its too troublesome to complain on how you did, instead work towards the next time." Shikamaru said in his normal lazy tone.

"At least you proved your not a hopeless case." Shino put in. "Well, heres where I leave, bye you all." Shino waved, turning the street to his home. The others said there good-byes and continued there walk.

"Well, you'll all see, next time I'll hit the bull's eye!" Naruto said enthusiastically. "Believe it!" He added in a yell, causing the others to flinch at his volume.

"That's the spirit." Kiba said. "Well, I leave here, bye everyone." Kiba waved as he left the group the others said there byes and continued on.

The three of them walked the rest of the way in silence. Soon enough, Choji went his separate way and Shikamaru soon after. That only left Naruto. He sighed, as he received more glares from the clan compounds. He continued onward, headed towards the most biggest and powerful of the clan compounds.

The Uchiha compound.

He normally wouldn't head over there but as he learned while looking over a map in his trusty tan text book, going through the compund was the best way to get into the woods. So here he was, slinking over to the compound, trying to think of someway to by-pass the "Number One Clan" for the sake of entering the woods.

'_Is it __WORTH IT!!'_His sensable sub-concious asked. Now, if Naruto listened to his common sense, he would be the angle child of Konoha. But seeming as to how his common sense is nothiing more but a little tiny winy itsy bitsy voice in his mind, that wasn't an option. So instead he went on to the Uchiha compound. Now what could be going through his mind at this time? What could he be thinking of when he's about to go in with a bunch of power, uptight, ninja people? Lets see….

'…_then after I train I will go and read, then I can scout around the woods, then get some ramen, then I will…' _

Well, at least we know he isnt worried. Besides, to him it was a stealth training mission.

Soon enough he was at the compound. Now he grew serious an focused at his task at hand. He peeked his head into the compound, there he spied two Uchiha's at the gate, playing a game of chess. Quietly, he snuck in and hid behind some bushes. The supposed 'guards' didn't move a muscle…well, besides the pawn one of them were moving. Inside, he focused his senses. They became more intinsified. Not that he noticed any difference besides his sight. Listening out, he soundlessly creeped along the wall, until he was a good distance away from the guards. Going further into the compound, he herd the sound of people. Sounds of children playing, sounds of training, sounds of scolding and praise, and of coarse normal chit chat.

Curiosity got the best of him with the sounds of training. '_I wonder how these people train…' _He thought to himself. He crept to the edge of the training. Sense his senses were naturally sharp (when he focused on them) he didn't need to get too close. Peaking thorugh a hole in the brush, he spotted two people training. One was old looking, about 30 of 40. The other looked to be in his mid-teens. From there features, short messy dark brown hair, their rounded faces, and dark blue eyes, Naruto assumed that they were father and son.

They were standing a few yards apart, in the common Uchiha fighting stance. Naruto focused his attention on them, curious to see how others trained. They took off, exchanging fast-paced blows, Naruto had trouble keeping up with there movements. He payed close attention to everything. The father aimed a punch at the son's face, the son sid-stepped the assult, grabbed his apponents arm and twisted it, while snatching his feet under the elders. The father began to fall, and the son moved to elbow his adonomen into the ground. Through fleaxability, the father flipped over, grabbing the elbow and using it to throw the son in the air, once air-born, the father gave him a good punch to the gut, sending the son into a tree. The son was quick to pull himself out, and he launched himself at the father, fist forming for a punch. The father positioned to block. The son switched from punching to kicking the father the gut. He then quickly manuevered behind him and sent a powerful punch in the spine.

The father lurched forward, pained expression quickly passing his face, as he flipped around with a spin kick to the sons jaw. That sent the son flying. Before he hit the ground, he righted himself. Naruto watched with complete intrest as the battle progressed, memorizing most of the moves, noting on how they were executed, watching every pivot, turn, and facial expression.

Facial expression.

That's what intrigued him the most. He noted that the father's face barely showed any epression. The son did, every motive he could see clearly on the sons face, when he studied the eyes he could also predict he next move to some extent. His predictions were wronge most of the time, but the more he watched and studied, the more right he got. This certaintly was more than he expected to get out of his visit here. Not that he was complaining.

Soon enough, the father held the son in a choke hold. With that they both stopped and stood. They started talking, Naruto listed carefully.

"Good job Shuro. That ends our tiajutsu practice. Come back in five for ninjutsu and genjutsu practice."

That gave Naruto enough reason to stick around. He crawled deeper into the brush, to decrease his chances of being caught. There, he began mulling over what he observed. The movements ingraved in his memory. He smiled. Now he had some fighting styles to practice, and make his own. This opened a whole new world for him.

'_Why didn't I think of this before? Watching the way others fight is the perfect way for me to get ideas and moves for my own fighting styles. I certaintly don't want to copy any moves, but practicing them is good, and I can change them to make them my own! Oh there are so many clans in this village to watch, so many ninja to observe! Tomorrow I can check the Hyuuga compound, and the Aburame clan, and the Nara, and the Yamanaka, oh, I can also watch as the senseis train their students at the training grounds! The possibilities! Naruto no baka why didn't you think of this before?' _

He happily replayed the fight he witnessed in his mind. Happily thought about how he could make those styles his own. Not to far into his ponderings, he herd the son and father return. Scooting closer to the edge of the bushes, he resumed his eavasdropping.

They got back into their common taijutsu stance. The father called for them to begin. The son immediately did some hand seals and called "Fire Style Jutsu!" A jet of fire shot at the father, who, faster than Naruto could see, performed some seals and replaced himself with a log. Naruto was dazzled. Never has he seen a real ninja battle, never has he seen any of these moves. He was shocked at how fast the father performed those seals. He made a mental note to memorize seals next time he was at the library.

The father did some seals, and created clones. They all moved in to attack the son, the son performed a set of hand-seals that sent earth bullets at the clones. They all dissappeared. The son looked around once the genjutsu was disperced, looking for the real thing. He was caught off guard as a large earth dragon shot at the son. The son jumped back from its jaws, only to have a fire jutsu explode from its mouth. The son was enveloped in flames. Whence the smoke cleared, a burt log was seen falling to the ground.

The farther came from the branches of the tree, the son appearently snuck behind for a punch. The father performed some seals while rightining himself. The air changed, as the scene of a wasteland enveloped the field. Naruto backed away from the broder of the genjutsu, which just narrowly missed him. Naruto watched intrigued, as the immagery made it look as if dead were rising from the ground, closing in on the son. Naruto spied the father keeping close watch on what was happening. The zombies realeased fire attacks, the son moved out the way. He then performed some seals and the jutsu was released.

All too soon the battle ended. The father put his arms around the son's shoulder, congradulating him. At this point Naruto turned away. Father and son moments he could live without watching. Once again as silent as a snake, he snuck through the greenery. Over a couple of walls and fences, around some houses and people. He successfully made it to the woods, uncaught. Once he was a few meters from the compound walls, he let out a sigh of releif and accomplishment. He blasted off through the woods, not really headed anywhere, just running around in circles while slowly advancing to his training spot.

Once he was there, he sat at the edge of the lake. Despite how much he wanted to think and train, his mind kept wandering to that father-son moment. That small gesture of care. He felt pained when ever he saw it. And when ever it would change when they looked at him. They stared at each other with warm eyes, full of affection and care. They gave him cold, icy glares. Even before he started his pranks, they always gave him those icy glares. Cold icy glares. Hatefull icy glares. Venomous insults. Lots and lots of beatings. Why did they do that? Why did he have to be the one without perents? Why did the village hate him so much?

He thought about running away. He tried running away. He did run away. Yet ANBU pulled him back. He didn't understand. Everyone hated him, but they wouldn't let him go away. Why? The hokage was the only one who didn't give him that icy stare, even when he got in trouble. Iruka came next. The kids in his class didn't give him that stare. Yet others did. Sounds of shuffling brought him out of his reverie. Quickly he stowed away behind a willow. Looking out, he sighed in releif as the shufflings turned out to be a rabbit. He watched the animal for a minute or two, before it scurried back into the tall grass. Naruto walked from his hiding spot. He returned to his position at he edge of the lake. He had enough of his self pitty. He was going to train.

* * *

Thanks for reading and not sending death threats over me not updating quickly. Sorry about that my fathful readers! My father restricted the internet. ;;

Also tell me if this chapter is a bit rushed, I sorta did it in a rush.

Yours truly,

Littlemoontiger.


	7. Chapter 7: water walking

* * *

Chapter 7 : Water walking

**Chapter 7 : Water walking**

Disclamer: I shouldn't have to keep torturig myself with how I don't own Naruto by saying this before every chapter. ( lawsuits!! I don't own Naruto! Ya happy Now!)

* * *

The hokage stood at his window, looking out at the city with a twitching eye. Why? Well if you look below, at all the roof-tops you can see grafitti _everywhere!_ Some were of deformed faces, the others were mocking the anbu, some were just simply bright pictures, still others had deformed animals on them, ohhh and much much more.

'_How am I supposed to do my job with __this__ type of mess going on whenever I turn my head?' _Sarutobi thought, still twitching. Recomposing himself he turned to face the frantic ANBU, which apperently failed sourly to guard the village before sunrise, and told them to bring him Naruto. They all hai'ed and dashed away, all fratically searching the village.

Meanwhile

"…percent of the economy comes from tourism." Iruka said in a lecture, to a bored looking half-asleep class. He twitched.

"YOU ALL BETER **WAKE UP**!!" He yelled suddenly, sending those snoring kids in the air with shock. The others, who were on the verge of sleeping, snapped completely awake. Once Iruka saw that he had the attention of everybody, he continued.

"I have an annoucmemt to make; Open house is next week." Couple of groans.

'_Out of all things oepen house! Oh well, I guess I will just skip that day.' _Naruto spotted ANBU and chuunins rushing around out the window. '_I guess they found my masterpiece. I wonder how long until they decide to look in the school?' _

Turning his attention back to the techer, he caught a few words than made him anxious of the next lesson.

"…learning transformation jutsu."

That'sall he needed to hear. He was up and attentive, now looking forward to the next lesson.

* * *

"Well continue practicing after lunch." Iruka said. The students eagerly filed out the room for lunch. Naruto was, on the other hand, nervous. Lunch ment recess, recess ment being caught and sent to the hokage. That ment not finishing his lesson. Ohhh boy that was never good. Well, on the plus side he could always practice later. On the down-side he had to wash off all that paint. Now he regreated using so much of it. Well, to his credit he used a thinner brand than last time. He realized that the cheeper the paint the less resistant it is to scrub off.

Lunch went by all to fast and he soon found himself out-side, hiding under the tree, afraid to step into the light for fear of being seen. His friends weren't very helpful.

"Naruto what's up with you? Its like your afraid to leave from under this tree." Kiba asked.

" N-n-nothing, I just, uh, don't like the sun today." Naruto stuttered, jumping at the sound of his voice.

"Whats got you so jumpy?" Shino asked.

"Ahh…its nothing," He persisted.

"Yes it is, now spill the beans." Choji proded.

'_I sense danger…from…Oh crap, where the freak are those ANBU when you need 'em!' _

"NARUTO!!" A mob of fan-girls advanced slowly on the blonde. The boys sweat-dropped. Yes, earlier in his hast to get to the tree, Naruto accadently knocked over Sasuke's food. Ignighting the rage of the girls.

"Naruto even though your our friend…" Choji said stepping back

"Don't take it personally." Shino also said backing away.

"We have nothing against you…" Kiba followed.

"but fangirls are troublesome." Shikamaru finished. With that, they catiously backed away.

'_Some friends.'_ He thought sourly, now knowing of the beating he was about to receive. He prayed for an escape. Suddenly, shinobi dropped in-front of him.

"Naruto, Your wanted by the Hokage" They said, sounding upset while giving him icy stares. Naruto didn't mind them much, it was the fact that the fan-girls backed up.

"Thank-you God!" He said, blasting away in a run.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE!" They yelled exasperated. More shinobi from above started to chase, and also some ANBU. Naruto gleefully ran away from the school, being chased by about 30 ninja. Everyone in the school shared confused looks.

"Uh…is that why he was so nervous?" Choji asked.

"Of course Naruto would get himself into some troublesome situation." Shikamaru answered.

"Wonder what he did." Kiba pondered.

"Looks like something pretty big." Shino answered.

Suddenly they saw a blur of orange dash into a tree. Looking up, they saw him there, snickering.

"Naruto!" They all said at once. The blonde put his finger to his lips, before hiding into the greenery. Soon enough his scouters rushed by. One stopped and looked around on that self-same tree. Once they were a good distance away. Naruto hopped down.

"That was close!" he sighed once on the ground. His friends looked at him incredulously.

"Why were they chasing you?" Shikamaru asked the queston that was on everyones minds.

"Well, hehe, you see I sorta did some grafitti earlier, I guess the hokage didn't really like it eh." He said laighing sheepishly.

"Naruto you actually did that!?" Kiba asked.

"Yeah" He waved it off. "I only painted 37 buildings." He shrugged.

"And you got away from ANBU!" Choji asked.

"Barely. It's a good thing they're so clumsy." He joked

"How?" Shino asked.

"Just go through a window here, crawl through an ally there and walla you lost them." Naruto shrugged. Was it really that big of a deal? Think of how they'll react if they learned of the 40 traps he ran them through…

"You must be brave!" Choji said.

"Or you must me crazy." Kiba added.

"To risk the hokages temper!" Shino gasped.

"Unless he plays favorites with you." Shikamaru added.

"What, one old man yelling isnt that scary. Paperwork on the other hand…" Naruto shuddered and paled. "That's scary."

His friends jaws were on the floor.

"Yep your crazy." They all said.

"So, your afraid of fangirls, but not afraid of the hokages wrath, you're afraid of paperwork but not afraid of ANBU hunting you down. Is there anything else?" Shikamaru asked. '_Mobs'_ Natuto thought.

"No, not really." Naruto said. Suddeny, he pulled out a tarp that looked like the tree bark over his head. He was now camophlaged as the bark. The bagade of shinobi that were after him passed, all looking dirty, worn, and tired. Once they were gone, Naruto came from his hiding spot, putting back his tarp. "That was a close one." He sighed.

They all sweat-dropped.

"Naruto, did you know your crazy?" Choji asked.

* * *

"Naruto you keep putting too much chakra into it." Iruka said, as Naruto's deformed looking…what ever it was. The mutant thingy poofed away to show the blonde. "Hai!" With that, he tried it again. This time successfully henging into… another mutant thingy.

"Still to much chakra." Iruka said. "Keep trying, though. Practice makes perfect." He said, moving on to the next student. Naruto did as he was told. The class was all up and attempting to henge. Iruka and Mizuki circling the class, helping them. So far only Sakura and Sasuke got the henge down, though theres still needed work. Ino was close behind, everyone else was just creating mutant looking thingys.

While Naruto was henging he was also sceming. The ANBU will no doubt arrive to take him to the hokages soon. He could sense them. He knew that he had to scrubb off his graffitte. But they didn't know that he anticipated such and act. Yep, he had it all planed out in his head. The areas he grafittied were on the roof-tops which gave him good views into the training grounds. Last night he snuck in the hokages office and learned of the training grounds that would be used today. With that info, he grafittied the areas that would allow him to watch those training grounds.

Oh yes, Naruto was a cunning one.

Not only that but he already scuccessfully knew how to henge. He just didn't want to show it and ruin his 'dead-last' mask. He may not be that smart with book work, no matter how hard he tried, but he certainly can learn jutsus in a surprisingly short time. He can also plot and sceme briliant traps to get his 'trap-loving-hunters' as he likes to call them. For short, they're just the TLH.

He glanced at the clock, which was ticking down to 1:40. That was the time he scheduled himself to leave, for that's around the time some of the training grounds were scheduled for. Others were scheduled for early in the morning.

3…

2…

1…

BANG.

Theres the TLH now, two of them, both chuunins, looking exhausted. They trudged in panting to catch there breath. Naruto was the only one not looking surprised.

"Whats all the commotion about?" Iruka asked, going up to the door. The TLH held up their fingers, signalling a 'hold one minute.' Soon enough, they were both standing upright.

"The Hokage wants Naruto." The taller one said.

"Why? Iruka questoned, as Naruto calmy walked to them.

"He has some grafitti to clean up." The shorter said uniformly.

Iruka sighed and looked at Naruto. "What have you gotten your-self into?" Naruto laughed sheepishly while scratching the back of his head.

"It wasn't that bad…" Naruto started out, inturrupted by both the TLH as they yelled, pointed accusing fingers at him, "YOU GRAFITTIED 37 BUILDINGS AND PRANKED 30 ANBU, JONINS, AND CHUUNINS!!" Iruka smacked his head. The class looked incredulous.

"Anyway, lets get going." The shorter said, guiding Naruto from the room. Naruto waved a good-bye to them all as he left.

"Lets get back to work." Iruka turned and said, breaking the class from there shock.

* * *

'_What I witness today was gold!' _

"…as much time as your pranks into your school work you'll be the top student!" Sarutobi finished his long lecture to a bored-looking, no he wasn't paying any attention, blond.

"Yes Ojiisan." Naruto sighed exasperatly, just now returning his attention to the Hokage. Sarutobi twitched, knowing that Naruto wasn't taking his words to heart at all.

"As punishment you will have to scrubb out all the men's public bathrooms in Konoha for a week." He concluded. Hiding a victory smirk as Naruto's attention was now fully gained.

"B-b-but Ojiisan! That's too harsh!"

"You dug your own grave. I cant go easy on a rule-breaker. Maybe this will teach you to stop your pranks." Sarutobi said. '_Ha, stop his pranks? Only way to discourage him is to put him in a coma.'_ He though to himself. Naruto's face displayed pure horror.

"But there like billions of public bathrooms-''

"1732 bathrooms 7000 stalls, 7123 sinks, shall I continue?" He said looking at the pale, frightened, blonde.

'_That's worse than a mob!' he shuddered at the sheer number of dingy dirty bathrooms he had to clean. _

"Better go home and get some sleep, you start right after school." Naruto shrunk in his chair groaning.

* * *

"Uhg! Why cant I get it right!" A bruised, dirty, sweaty Naruto said as he pulled himself up from the ground for the 47th time that day. He jumped in the air, doing a spin kick on a log suspended from a tree, using the momentum from that kick he launched himself higher in the air, throwing some kunai at red spots on a series of logs and trees, then he came back down, bringing his fist on another log, flipping off to attack the one behind him, he turned to kick and…fell flat on the ground.

"I just need to finish that final attack, but nothing's working!" He moaned as he got up, collect his twenty kunai that he snuck away from the academy. He didn't plan on keeping them, he wasn't a theif, he was just…borrowing them for a short time.

"At least I got better in these." He sighed. Setting the kunai into the borrowed pouch, he went to the lake to cool off. Setting his tired feet in the water, and splashing some of the crisp cool water on his sweaty face, he took a minute to cool down. Soon he was practicing his henges.

He henged into a baby willow, then a cat, then a dog, then a rock, snake, then a ram, then a fox, then a rabbit. He held the henge of a rabbit, watching a reflection. He noticed that, his feet –which were still resting in the water- was causing ripples of water to be released. Relesing the rabbit henge, he stared at the water, seeing the ripples stop.

'_hm, its just like what happened with our hands in class.__ I wonder what I can do with this..' _He thought, concentrating chakra to his feet. The water rippled some more. He changed the amount of chakra he was channeling, resulting in serene ripples to rough waves. Leaning a bit more to the lake, he concentrated on moving the water with his chakra. It really didn't work out that well. He tried enveloping his feet with chakra. To his surprise it warmed them up as well.

He took his feet out the water and stood up on the bank. He enveloped his whole body in chakra, then jumped into the water. To his shock, he landed ontop of the water. So surprised he was, that he lost his concentration.

SPLASH.

He went down. Not that he minded with his new discovery. He swam back to the bank. He tried again, this time only keeping the chakra in his feet. Stepping on the water, he stood there for a few seconds before falling in. He smiled. Trying it again, and again, and again.

(Deep into the night later)

"I can do it! I can walk on water!" Naruto cheered, jumping up and down on the water. Soon afterwards he started shivering. He looked up in the sky to see the moon high up where the sun was last time he checked. "I-i-i-i-it's that l-l-l-l-late aa-a-a-a-a-already!" He said with chattering teeth. Walking back over to the shore, he remembered what happened earlier that day. He diecided to give it a try. Enveloping his body in chakra he felt heat begin to warm him up. That was definantly a usefull discovery.

Soon enough his shivers were gone. Thinking about it, he never did see if his first assumption was right. Keepin his chakra sheeth, he stuck his hand in the water. He smiled as it stayed dry. He then pulled it out. Good discovery number three. Happily, he hopped back home. He had a feeling he would need to get some sleep for, he shuddered, toilet duty.

While on his way, he practiced his hand signs. Then henging into those animals, then more hand sighns. He was trying to be as fast as that uchiha father was that he was spying on earlier. He sighed. No more spying on training for a week. "I just have to see it as training. Somehow it will make me stronger." He said to himself, dreading cleaning the bathrooms. He was now walking through the streets, his scences sharper than normal, as he continued practicing hand sighns. He noted that the more he concentrated, the longer his enhanced scenses would stay when he lost it.

Also, he noticed that he could see more clearly in the dark with his sharpend senses. It wasn't exactly like day, it was just that everything kinda…glowed. "I should do this way more often." He said silently to himself. Practicing hand signs, he continued on his journy to his appartment.

Soon his hands started cramping. He frowned. He relaxed his hands and rubbed them. He arrived at the appartment safely. He opened the door to let himself inside. Promptly, he fell onto his bed. Rolling over he got a good look at his appartment. He then pulled himself out of bed dn began cooking himself a nice biiiig bowl of beef ramen.

* * *

"Make sure you get behind the toilets too." A tall chuunin told the blonde. He had blue-green hair with eyes to match. He wore all black with the standard chuunin vest and of coarse the ice cold glare.

Naruto thought of a lot of things to say to that man, certain things that a young boy should never say. He scrubbed obediently around the toilets, making them shine.

'_It's training, it's training, it's training, it's training.' _That was the chant that was ringing through his ears. He scrubbed laboriously around. Keeping that chant in his head. Trying to ignore the ice-cold glare. He wasn't getting very far with that. The chuunin wasn't making it any better.

"Hurry it up we don't have all day." The chuunin barked. Naruto rolled his eyes. He had to stand this all day.

'_Last stall, stall, last stall, last stall, last stall, last.' _He chanted. All too long later he was done. The chuunin snapped a "Finally!" Before grabbing the supplies and walking out the bathroom. Naruto rushed away, needing to vent some anger in training.

Punch.

Punch.

Kick.

Punch.

Naruto was venting his anger on some poor helpless tree trunk. Poor, poor, treetrunk. Glad I'm not that trunk, which is now being destroyed with every tedious painful punch. To the tree's defense, it wasn't very friendly to Naruto's fists. The more damage to the tree was also giving Naruto's fists some damage. Now which one will stop first? Well, seeming as to how the tree cant move, Naruto stopped first.

"Maybe I should have just went for a swim." He said, looking at his bleeding hands. He sighed, as he walked to his apartment to get rid of the blood.

* * *

Icy glare.

That's what was missing today. No icy glares! In any normal situation Nartuto would have ran away to the safty of the forest to escape the creepy situation. But this was no normal case. Nope. For as Naruto bounded down the street with short brown straight hair, and brown eyes, with a red T-shirt and dark-blue jeans. All is normal…except Naruto.

That henge he learned in class was usefull in things other than ninja settings. Naruto decided that if the village hated him, then they won't see him. Nope. Problems are solved with a simple henge. Except for Naruto's nervousness. Never in his life has he seen so many smiles, hi's, and so forth. He was confused, and scared to death. He expected a mob to come out the corner any minute.

So our 'brunette' walked down the street, head down, not knowing what to do in this situation. He walked up and in the library, no suspicious stares, no hatefull glares, no nothing but smiles. He carefully and cautiously walked down to the jutsu scrolls. He went to the isle, and looked for a scroll.

Natrually one on training caught Naruto's attention. He took the first one he saw. It was titled 'Chakra control leaf exersize..'

Naruto frowned, the information in here was much of what Iruka already taught in class. He was about to put it back until he saw something new. It was about how to control chakra flow through your major tenketsu, using leaves. That was new. As he read on he realized it was similar to when he used chakra to envelope his body. Except that he was balancing leaves with his chakra flow.

Soon enough, he was done with the scroll. Deciding that's all he needed for now, (mostly because he felt his henge weakening), he put it back and left the library. He took to the allys to release his henge. He left out the other side with the normal world again.

Icy glares.

He blasted himself to his training spot. New information must be tested. Soon enough he was there. He started his training regeme. First was running around the field while lugging a log on his back. After he was sweaty and collasped onto the ground, he dragged himself to the lake and plopped in. He took a relaxing swim with the fishies to relax his stained muscles.

Soon enough, he departed from his fish friends to work on his combo's with the tree logs. After a few hours, he dragged his battered bloody body to the lake and rolled in. Too tired to swim he simply floated on the water. When he regained his energy he went to practice once again with the logs. This process repeated five times.

After that, he once again picked up the heavy log and began running around the large field. Once again he collasped, once again he rolled in the lake. After he was revived from that, he did his 100 push-ups, rolled into the lake, 100 sit-ups, roled into the lake, 12 chin-ups, fell into the lake, and practiced his punches and kicks on a tree log, befor passing out, in the lake. (Naruto's lucky he has a lake.)

Once that was done, he practiced the chakra controll exersizes. As he learned, he was horrible with chakra control. He put the leaves over his tenketsu, and blew off haphazardly when he tried. He tried again. Those leaves might be the first in history to reach mars. He tried again. They shot through the trees, but at least not through the stratosphere. He tried again. They burned so badly. He tried again. Ripped to shreds.

He tried, tried again. When the sun was casting its shadows across the ground, Naruto left to the clan compounds to watch some training. He realized that about this time was when parents started training with there kids. Today he was over looking the Yamanaka clan. He tried the Inuzuka clan, but they have suprime senses of smell, they knew he was coming from a mile away. The Aburame clan was no good either. Those bugs were tough! The Hyuuga clan could see though walls, so when they trained, Naruto stood out like an orange bird sitting on a black patio.

So he couldn't spy on those clans. He has the bruises to prove it! The worst was the hyuuga compound, which felt no sympathy for cutting off his chakra paths. Thus, he wasn't healling very quicky. At least now he knows that its his chakra that heals him. Well, on the plus side he learned a litte bit on how they fight, cutting off your tenktsu! He vowed later to look through the librarys on those clans.

Soon enough, he was up and in the Yamanaka clan. He heard lots of training going on, the only problem was deciding which one to spy on. He learned the best places were with the genin that were mid-way to being chuunin. There he was feed lots of info and new jutsu that parents shared so willingly with there kids.

Scouting around, he found the perfect place. This time it was a father and daughter fight. That was a plus. One thing Naruto figured out is that fathers share more detailed info with there daughters. Naruto concluded that it was because the fathers must believe in the 'boys are smarter than girls in ninja stuff' rumor. Naruto knew better than to fall with that one. Especially with the fathers giving the daughters more detailed info because they _thought_ that the girls were more slower than boys.

This actually gave the girls the advantage. It made them smarter _and _stronger. If you ever wondered why angry girls punches were so strong, well this is the reason. There parents unintentionally give the girls more info and training. Back to the battle. Only thing our blonde was missing was the popcorn.

"I'm gonna teach you an earth-style defense today." The father said. One detailed (boring) explaition later, the daughter was trying it out for herself. She couldn't seem to get it right. The mother came out with cookies and lemon-aid. At this point Naruto moved on to another chuunin-in-training training site. He found it with an older brother and younger brother. There, he learned an earth missle attack. Moving on, he then learned a bladed-wind jutsu. That one almost killed him for it went into his hiding spot. Leaving that area fasther than usual, he left to learn a...how to make lemon-aid.

Oooo-kaaaaaaaaay, wrong site. Looking to the sky, he left back to his training ground. All the clan trainings were done for the day, besides the jounin ones were they were experienced enough to find him eventually though-out the training. He arrived to his own training spot safely. He immediately practiced with what he learned.

That practicing wasn't really getting anywhere.

No wonder why the people couldn't do it when they first learned. These were **hard!** Nonetheless, he tried, and tried, and tried. Late into the night he ran out of chakra, and went uncouncious.

* * *

This morning a tired blonde walked into the class room. To say he was a litte late would be like saying I, the author, own Naruto. The clock read 10:30 when he trudged into the class, looking tired.

The teachers stopped and looked at him. Naruto yawned. He was still exhausted from his training last night. Plus he ran out of ramen, so he was basically starving. But that was evident by his stomach growing when he caught a look at the picture of ramen on the calander.

Taking his seat, he drearily looked at the teachers, who resumed there lessons. In this kind of state, it was hard not to fall asleep. So he went to sleep. He figured that if anything endagering were to happen his senses would wake him up. Plus he could always read the lesson later. Not that he wanted to read a chapter about "The Great World of Economics." (Those people who named that were either high or drunk.)

Later that day.

"FINALLY!!" Naruto jumped up and yelled, finished with the last stall for the day. He threw the supplies at his wroth chuunin guard and ran out in to the sunny world. Sooo happy! He finished for the day! Oh joy was on his face. He was done!Done, done done, done, do-Grumble Hungry.

Naruto ceased his happiness once the full effect of not eating came apon him. Instantly, he took off towards Ichiraku's Ramen Stand. There he found Iruka on his way.

"Hey Naruto!" Iruka greeted the hungry blonde. Naruto gave his cheery hello, followed by his hungry stomach. Iruka laughed, and offered to treat Naruto to ramen. Who was he to resist. All in all, Naruto was happily eating ramen. He had a nice chat with Iruka. No particular subject in mind, just talking about blah. Naruto left with a happy tummy.

The next day.

Naruto joyously hopped out the last bathroom he had to clean for the day. He ran off to do his training.

The next day.

"I'm done!" Naruto shouted at the sky, running off to bug the hokage.

The next day.

"I'm-m-m-m-m d-d-d-d-done." A mentally disturbed, twitching Naruto said as he emerged from the 'last-stall-haven' as he calls it.

The next day.

"Two more days, two more days, two more days." An extreamly angry blonde muttered as he stormed from his antagoniser.

The next day.

"Next person on my hit-list is that Chuunin!" Naruto grumbled as he huffed out the 'last-stall'

Final Day.

"I'm DONE WITH THIS FOREVER!!" Naruto yelled running down the street, hands in the air, mouth wide open and pointing towards the sky, getting weird stares from the people he passed. (**AN: **Reminds me of seaseme street.) Yep, today was the day he can stop scrubbing toilets. He was so happy, no scatch that, he was ecastic! He was retardedly running out the bathrooms, flipping down the streets, dancing on roof-tops, and sliding down any and all railings.

The people didn't glare today, nope, today they didn't have a chance, for when one saw Naruto in this state, the first thing that they can do is go '_WTF is that??' _Ahhh yes. Today Konoha was plagued by an over-excited orange blob. Many a ninja tried to catch him to stop this ecastic boy from plaging the villagers (though unintentionally.) The result was them getting plagued too.

Never has so many pranks went off for the TLH. Sarutobi looked into his ball, then at the 48 ambushed ninja infront of him. He vowed never to use this punishment again. Eventually, the villagers stopped seeing the "Bouncing-betty-child" as they described him. (**AN: For those who don't know, bouncing bettys were bombs used in WWII & WWI?- that bounced aroud befor it exploded.) **

If there was an attack on Konoha, the attackers would be defeated by dying of laughter at the sight of the Konoha ninja task force. Allmost all the ninja stock were covered in dirt, paint, mud, leaves, crazy string, trash, silly putty, slim, and who knows what else. That's what they get for trying to catch Naruto. The ones who didn't get caught up in that were either on missions, or just plainly didn't try the impossible task of catching Naruto. Eventually he was caught. By whom you ask? Who could be this ultimate, ingenious, brave hero that ended the Bouncing-Betty-Child?

Iruka of coarse! How did he manage the impossible? How did he end the "Orange-blob-plague?" Why using the wonderful food called ramen. So it was Iruka who walked into the hokage's office, a snoring Naruto in his arms, and not a drop of dirt on him. He felt an increasing amount of killing intent when he walked in.

Looking in, he saw that the reason was because practically the whole entire building has been pranked by the sleeping blonde. They weren't just glaring at Naruto. They also were glaring at Iruka. Why? Because he brought in the 'impossible child' with out a drop of dirt. A trickle of sweat. Nothing but his own normal self. To say they were envious was an understatment.

Iruka immediately went to the Hokage before they mobbed him. Sarutobi was shaking his head in dispare.

"I don't think I ever want to give him another punishment again." Sarutobi said to the teacher.

"He took prankster to a whole new world today." Iruka sighed. "Tired himself out too."

"I have to say he is a devious trap maker. He outclasses most of the ANBU with his devices." The hokage chuckled.

"I think that everyone wants to kill him more than normal, and they just want to kill me." Iruka joked, setting Naruto on the couch. He snored quietly.

"I suggest they stay away. There just playing themselves right into his traps, giving him more and more practice." Sarutobi chuckled. "Maybe we can get him on some missions to use those traps he made up."

"He made them up?" Iruka asked

"Yep. Only a few are already made, most of his traps are of his own unique style. He creates his own traps." He replied.

"Now if only he'd put more work into his school-work." Iruka wondered.

"Iruka, if you manage to do that then you desearve to be the hokage for you geneus." He laughed.

"Don't get your hopes up yet. I'm in no rush to attack the paper-mound-of-death!" He said fakeing a scared look.

"I wonder if I can get Naruto to make up a contraption to do this for me." The hokage said, staring thoughtfully at the child.

"Wouldn't be surprised if he did!" Iruka laughed.

"Now, what should we do with him?" Sarutobi returned to the matter at hand.

"Threaten his ramen supply if he doesn't stop pranking." Iruka answered.

"Tried that one before. It didn't end up well." He sighed.

"What happened?"

"Well…"

One month earlier.

"Naruto, you really did it this time. Why did you spray-paint all the trees in Konoha!" Sarutobi asked exasperatly as red and white leaves waved on the trees.

"They said fall was a time of color, so I though to bring fall in early." Naruto shrugged.

"Naruto!" The hokage twitched. "For this, you are restricted from ramen for a month!" Naruto popped out of his seat.

"No RAMEN! NOOOOO!! YOUR GOING DOWN OLD MAN!!"

End flashback.

"Long story short, Naruto broke into all the houses in the village and screwed all there furniture to the cealings, and graphittied on there walls looking like blood 'GET OUT'" Sarutobi finished, shuttering at the chain reaction that created. Lots of people though they were plagued by ghosts that week. That left chaos, and in the end, he was buried in paperwork.

"How does he even do that! He's only one child! Does he know how to walk on walls yet?" Iruka asked shocked, shuttering about that uneventful week that was happily given the title "Worst day since the Kyuubi attack: The ghost attack." That was one hectic week.

"I don't even know and I watch him! Its like he has some sort of senses to get passed me, all konoha ninja, and all villagers!" He said sadly. "On the plus side he doesn't know how to walk on walls yet."

"In war, he'd probly chase the enemy away with his pranks alone." Iruka sighed.

"I wouldn't be at all surprised if he did."

"I hope he doesn't continue pranking when he's genin."

"Don't worry about that, just give him lots of missions. Lots and lots of missions."

"Knowing him he'll be demanding anything but D-rank missions after the first week on the job!" (**AN: **Sarutobi doesn't know how close to the truth he is.)

"I suggest you don't let him get too far with his demands."

"I wont! One "Ghost Attack on Konoha" was enough! I don't think Naruto knows how lucky he is to get away with that prank with no suspicions. "

"Hellow mr. Ramen bunny." A sleepy blonde said as he returned to the world of concious thought. Sartutobi and Iruka looked at him weirdly. '_Mr. Ramen bunny…__' _They thought together.

"Naruto." The hokage's firm voice caused the blonde to gulp audiably. He knew that he was going to get a long lecture.

* * *

Another chapter down! w00t! I hope you like this one, I had lots of fun writing it. If my writing is starting to get a little retarded, please tell me! I am going crazy over here.

Can't wait to get my next one up. Thanks for your reviews my fathful readers!

The one and only

Little Moon Tiger.


	8. Chapter 8: : Lightining up & craking dow

* * *

Chapter 8 : Lightinging up on the TLH (slightly) Cracking down on the stalking 0

**Chapter 8 : Lightinging up on the TLH (slightly) Cracking down on the stalking 0.0 (Not really)**

Disclaimer: Hi, I don't own Naruto, just the plot, bye.

**To my readers: **Thanks for all who are reading my story, I am truly glad you like it! This is my first try at a story, and so far its been a big success. I apologize for the hold-ups in updates. I shouldn't do that to my readers! But alas, my personal life does not have a flexable schedule. Thanks again for reading and reviewing,

On to the show!

* * *

Naruto. The boy whose training hard to become the hokage. His normal cheerful mood was gone. No, he sat in class today learning a jutsu.

Why would he be upset by learning a jutsu?

He couldn't do the jutsu. It was a clone jutsu, that he couldn't master. No matter how much he tried he just couldn't do it!

"Come on, come on, come on!" Naruto chanted as he tried once more, only to bring in a single, dead looking clone. "Uhg!" He huffed. The class was doing much more better.

As always, Sasuke beat them all. Ino and Sakura were close behind-with lots of tension between them. Shikamaru was…sleeping. Choji was trying it between hand-fuls of chips. The rest of the class varied from close to Sasuke to close to Shikamaru.

But Naruto was last.

He put his best in it, and wasn't getting anywhere. He tried reducing the amount of chakra, then increasing it. It didn't help him one bit. He just couldn't master the clone. Iruka and Mizuki tried to help, but they just couldn't see the problem. He was just a hopeless case.

In a vent of anger and frustration, he tried to make the desk look like him. Funny thing was, it didn't work. Instead it looked like the mutant monstor thingy when he first tried the henge. He sighed releasing the clone/henge combo. His head hit the desk.

This wasn't working out. He went over in his mind what happened. While doing this, a little comic of inspiration hit him.

Naruto's Mind Comic Thingy With No Name.

Chibi form of Naruto in a Chibified world of Konoha ran sneekily along the buildings. He came upon some ANBU. Hiding his form, he cast the henge/clone combo on them and 'pop' They were in clown costums. They paniced and ran away. Naruto laughed.

End Naruto's Mind Comic Thingy With No Name.

Naruto smiled evily. The TLH has a new thing to worry about now. Immediately after class he was going to perfect that clone/henge combo-and think of a name for it. He already knew what to do to the TLH who watched over Naruto during his bathroom punishment.

I feel sorry for that TLH. Maybe as the author I should give him a warning…Nah. Instead, I think I'll skip to that part of the dayy! MuHHAHAHAUAhaha!

* * *

Perfect. Everything was perfect.

Naruto found the perfect payback genjutsu. Thus the name payback jutsu. As of the moment, Naruto was ontop of a roof. Below him was his least-favorite TLH, along with other TLH. He smiled. Performing the necessary signs, he launched the jutsu at the unexpecting TLH.

Poof!

Just like that, the TLH was in a green and pink stripped dress with a large floppy straw hat, stalleto high heels, with the green and pink nail polish to match.

Revenge was sweet.

At first everything froze. His friends looked at him with there jaws on the floor. The TLH looked at himself in pure horror. He tried three times to dispell the jutsu, but it wasn't working. He then started accusing his laughing teammates of the crime. There response; taking pictures.

Naruto had a hard time not laughing at the whole ordeal, and give away his hiding spot. These people were so predictable! From his test runs, he knew that Shinobi would at least try three times before panicing to other resources. Weirdly, they never passed the number three! So Naruto layered five layers of the genjutsu. The first three to be dispersed. He put in an extra one than needed for the sake of longevity of the jutsu.

Sadly, it fades off in 30 minutes.

Naruto just couldn't help himself no longer. He immediately left the scene of the crime. Once he was far away, he busted out laughing like a maniac ontop of another roof. "TH-that…w-w-was…f-f-f-funny!" He said between laughs. Yep. This was definantly the best pay-back ever!

After he recovered, he headed over to his favorite training spot.

* * *

Exausted, Naruto laid on the dirt ground in the greenery. Somehow, he managed to relocated from his original spot filled with vines, moss, and a lot more wildlife. How? He doesn't even know. The moon was high in the sky now, a full moon at that. Naruto simply relaxed an bathed in the moon light.

He was pretty satisfied today. He finally mastered the wind-blade jutsu and the earth missle one. He still can't make clones. That was the down side. His chakra control is still off by miles. Yet he still mastered some pretty powerful jutsu, the type that required lots of chakra. For some reason, he had no trouble with mastering that, but when it came to mastering jutsu that uses a little amount he was hopeless.

What Naruto couldn't understand is how he can make the payback jutsu work, but not the clone jutsu. He tried, and tried, and tried. He couldn't get the jutsu to work! It was beyond frustrating. So, he decided to put learning that to the side for a period. All that stress wasn't good for him.

He thought a lot about his pranks recently. A scene today changed his veiw on the pranking subject.

FLASH BACK

weird wavy lines, weird wavy lines, weird wavy lines

Naruto was happily making his way to his training spot from the tops of the buildings. This was by-far a much safer place to walk that down there were the villagers attack him, and throw dangerous objects at him. Walking on one of the shorter buildings, he looked down to see a small scrawny boy. He seemed to be no more older than himself. The boy was walking down, looking happy as can be. Suddenly water baloons shot out of nowhere and hit the child square on in the face.

Naruto looked up to see a group of big kids, laughing there heads off. The smaller boy held his jaw, and began to cry right then and there. The big kids kept laughing, and one even though another balloon, knocking the little one down. The scene shocked Naruto. He knew that the villagers hated him, but why would they mis-treat this kid? He knew that the kid was well loved and cared for, because he's seen him a few times in the village with his family. So why are they so cruel to him.

Naruto then felt anger swell up in himself. How dare they pick on a little kid like that! They kept laughing looking smug. Naruto wanted to pulverize them now. Sure they can pick on a defenseless kid, but what would happen when someone stronger than them came into the picture. Naruto was about to jump off the roof top to beat the living heak out those kids when a middle aged man came out, rushing at the boys; who instantly fled. Naruto huffed.

'_Cowards, they can beat up a little kid but can't face someone bigger than them.' _Naruto sourly continued his journy, grumbling about those bullies. Running across the roofs, he slipped on the last of them, and went tumbling to the ground.

CRASH!!

Into a bunch of trash cans. Naruto moaned as he struggled out the trash. He could feel the bruises forming now.

'that's not gonna feel good in the morning.' He said annoyed to himself. He climbed back up to the roof to investigate what he slipped on, and what do ya know. It was a banana peel.

"How did this get up here in the first place." He thought to himself. His face brightened. This was the perfect thing to use as a prank for the TLH! He could just see it now. He just needed some paint and logs and- suddenly a scene of the big kids tourmenting that little boy popped in his mind. It was then his eyes widened.

Here he was berating those bullies, when he wasn't much better himself. Even though he didn't pick on the defensless, he sure did play on the TLH sense of security in there own turf. Didn't that make him a bully too?

End flash back

weird wavy lines, weird wavy lines, weird wavy lines

Naruto took in a deep breath of the cool night air. He thought a lot about it, and decided that he wouldn't prank people randomly-unless they really desearved it. Although, just because he wasn't pranking people anymore didn't mean he still couldn't cause trouble. He was, after all, reknown for his trouble making. He also didn't want to become rusty in his trap-setting, so he would train with his own traps. Maybe he could try and sneak in some places with traps in them so he could practice on seeing and avoiding setting them off, and escaping them just incase he accadently set one off.

A large cloud silently crept in and covered the moon, cutting off Naruto's moon bath. A night breeze chilled his bones. He shut his eyes for a minute them opened them again. He sighed. Tomorrow there would be an open house for the parents. Naruto didn't look forward to that at all. SO he decided not to.

* * *

Naruto toured the library looking for some info to help inprove his henge. He wanted it to be stronger, because while he can get away with being in cognito with the villagers, hatful shinobi and retired shinobi are always quick to reveal him.

"Philosophy of the facts and theory of henges." Naruto read off the title. '_I will never be able to finish that thing.' _He thought, grabbing the book any way. It was actually quite thin.

"How to do a Henge: beginners" He read the next title. '_too simple.' _

"How I did it! Multiple autobiographies of how the henge was created and perfected." He read off. '_I'll see about that one.' _He said, grabbing that book, it was thick to his dismay.

He caried his two books to the corner of the library, and began his study.

* * *

One week and seventeen minor pranks later…

"_I should be able to henge any part of me because chakra runs throughout my body. So instead of just out-side appearance, I should beable to henge in-side things as well."_ Naruto thought to himself, studying a book on the organs, systems, and other workings of the human body in his favorite clearing. He finished reading those books at the library, which constantly fell between interesting to boring.

"_Henges constantly use up chakra, so to have a longer lasting henge I have to use less chakra, but to have a henge people cant see through easily I have to spread out the chakra more thourally. It also has to be completely even over the suface because if its not then its easier to spot to other shinobi. So how do I use less chakra, spread it out more evanly and thourally, and do it all at the same time?' _He thought.

"I guess I will try it a few times and see what happens." He broke out of his revere. He stood up, and concentrated on his chakra control. He still hasn't completely mastered the leaf exersize, yet now he has more control over his chakra. He decided to first concentrate on eavenly distrobuting his chakra. Once that was done, he realize one flaw. He had no way to test it. Breaking his concentration to smack his head.

" I should go around the village in the shinobi shops and see if they spot me." He said to himself. Instantly rushing off to the village.

* * *

'_Concentrate on even chakra flow, concentrate on even chakra flow.' _He said over and over in his head as he walked into a weapons shop, sure enough, there were some shinobi there, two chuunins and a genin. He toured the glass cases filled with finley forged swords and other weapons of the such, and fingured the kunai and shiruken, pretending to test the quality. After about five minutes, the genin left, he followed after, satisfied with the result.

A tall 'brunette' walked along the streets of konoha, staying around the spots were shinobi most-likely to hang out. Normally he would've been chased away from here, but now, he just walked straight through, happy as can be. Once his point was proven he headed back to his spot.

"Okay, that was pretty easy, now I just have to work on how long I can hold it up." He said, once he was back in his clearing, he released the henge. "Plus it would be good for me to learn to henge as things other than people, that way I can go on my secret missons without being caught." He started walking on the lake, so that he could get more used to the practice. "Plus being able to henge into a bug or animal would allow me to sneak in the hyuuga compound and watch their training. Yet the Inuzuka compound could still smell me, and I have no clue how those bugs work in the Aburame clan. I'll stay away from there for a while."

"Well, I guess I will have to find out more on those bugs, and figure out a way to hide my scent. Plus I need to find more training areas to practice my more destructive things on." He stepped off the lake, he plopped down on the bank. "But before all that I should go see what ojiisan is doing." Naruto decided.

* * *

Sarutobi pulled a folder smoothly from the middle of a seven-foot stack, placing some papers in it, he put it back just as smoothly, surprisingly, the tower of papers didn't budge an inch.

"Now I expect that you'll be wanting a C-rank mission today? He asked the jonin instructor and his three genin students."

"Hai Hokage-sama." He said respectfully.

"Then I'll give you this one," He said, pulling out a manilla folder from near the bottom of the stack of paper-zilla. "You are to escort a family to Rotunga city, you have three hours to prepar, meet the client at the bridge by 4:00." He said.

"Hai Hokage-sama." And with that they dissapeared through the door. Once they were gone, he sighed and rubbed his head.

"Looks like you could use a break ojiisan." Naruto popped of from seemingly out of nowhere, behind his desk.

"Well you know how weapon-replacement forms go." He said. Naruto shivered. Those were the worst.

"Well they always say that ramen cures the old!" Naruto brighted. Sarutobi sweat-dropped.

"I'm not that old." He twitched a bit. Naruto busted out laughing.

"That's hehe, a good one." He said once he gained control over himself.

"Let's just go get some ramen." He sighed, creating a clone, and then henging himself into a young black-haired jonin.

"O-kay Furui Kadamono." He smiled.

" 'Old Fruit' is not the name I will go by today." He twitched.

"Okay, okay, lets go Hayai-chan?" Naruto laughed.

"Now prepare." The hokage said.

"Why again"

"Because last one there is a rotten egg." He siad, taking off for the ramen shop.

"Hey! That's not fair!" He ran after him.

* * *

"You won again, you always win." He huffed, sitting at the counter of Ichiraku's ramen stand.

"Well if a person of my status can be beaten by an eight-year-old, then I don't really deserve my position now do I." 'Hayai' answered.

Yes, this was common practice for the two, the hokage would all too often sneak away with Naruto, leaving a shadow clone in his place, to play, eat, pull a few pranks, (you didn't hear that from me,) and relax. Every time, he turned into a young jonin by the name of 'Hayai' so that no one would get suspicious when Naruto called him "Old man." It was common fact to the village that Naruto was once of two who ever called the hokage 'old man' or 'ojiisan' and got away with it without consequense.

"Well if I do out do you that only proves that I am fit to be hokage." Naruto siad defiently.

"You still have a long way to go." 'Hayai replied, eating his ramen. Naruto was already on his seventh bowl.

"I'm glad my two favorite customers decided to come for a visit today." Techui said happily.

"That's what you siad when me and Iruka-sensei came in." Naruto siad to the vendor. His daughter Ayami, who was only about thirteen interjected.

"Well anyone who comes in to treat you to and all you can eat deserves a place on our favorite customer list. You already funded 13 of our past vacations alone. " She smiled.

"Well your food is the best in the world!" Naruto said enthusiastically, ramen bowls floating in the back-ground.

"You appitite is the worst thing in the wallet world." 'Hayai' muttered to himself, his fat wallet was about to become anarexic. His coment was completely ignored as the two kids talked about 'old men and there weird ancient ways.' Techui and Hayai sweat-dropped at the conversation, since both were the main subjects.

"Makes me feel old." Techui sighed.

"You have no idea." Hayai agreed.

One weeks pay later…

"Ah, that was a good meal." Naruto said to the know broke hokage. "What should we do now?" He asked, looking for something else to do.

"Hey, lets play dodge ball!" Ayami cheered. "It's time for my break anyway." She smiled.

"Great!" Naruto cheered, the two kids then started to drag Hayai away to play dodge ball.

"See ya later old man!" Naruto yelled back.

"Bye daddy!" Ayami called. Hayai just waved as the two practically carried him to the dodge ball nets. Soon enough they were at a more cheeply made dodgeball net, isolated from the rest by trees. Ayami and Naruto both contributed to the making of this net –Naruto in the funds he brought in by having people treat him to ramen, and in finding the spot, and Ayami in getting the needed materials to build it. It was issolated from the rest so that nobodies harsh glares and cruel treatment to Naruto would interfere with there fun.

Sure it wasn't as fancy as the rest, but it was sturdy, and a lot more unique, with the orange and purple stripped decorations on the netting and the poles, both of the kids favorite colors. The hokage made a shadow clone of himself, and one went to Naruto's side while the other went to Ayami's. A ball seemingly was produced out of nowhere.

"Who gets to serve first?" Hayai asked.

"Lets flip a coin." Ayami said, producing a quarter. She flipped it into the air.

"Heads" Ayami called

"Tails" Naruto declared.

It landed on the ground, tails up.

"I should have known, you always win games of chance." She smiled at him.

" I guess I'm just lucky." He laughed a bit. They both then went on there perspective sides, Naruto served the ball over the net. Ayami smacked it back over, hitting it high, Naruto ran back a bit to through it back her way. A-Hayai, as they called the person on Ayami's side, hit it back to Naruto, who sent it to Ayami, she spiked it over to N-Hayai, Naruto's teamate, who sent it over to Ayami again.

In this game the hokage showed no signs in the slightest of having any shinobi training. The reason was because it was kinda hard for children to compete with the top ninja in the village. The kids restricted the use of his jutsu's, besides one shadow clone so it can be an equal game, ninja moves, speed, strenghth, and any thing else that gave him an advantage.

Not that Sarutobi minding. He wouldn't have used his being hokage over the kids even if he could. Unless it was to tease them. But that was almost rare. Key word: Almost. Truth was, he loved teasing the kids. Luckly for them, today wasn't one of those days.

"I have one point!" Ayami cheered as the ball she spiked to Naruto burrowed it's self into the ground.

"Don't get two excited." Naruto smiled as the N-Hayai tossed the ball under the net for her to serve. After that point the game got a little bit fiercer between the two. Next one to score the point was Naruto. But that didn't last long as Ayami gained two more points. The game always turned more competitive the more some one scored. The two Hayai's remanined the same with no increase in competitivieness. Simply because him being competitive never ended well on both sides. The last set of craters from that was recently just filled.

Ayami had her advantages in the game, first in the fact that she was older, and had been playing dodge ball since she can rember. Second was her hight, Third was knowing how to hit the ball in certain places to give it maximum power. Naruto also had his advantages in the game. First was that he was faster, he had to be in order to give ANBU a run for there money, second was that he was short, so it was harder for him to miss the spiked serves, finally was that he caught on fast.

Thus they were about equal in the game when you add the highs and lows. As of the moment, orange and purple teams tied at nine each. It was Ayami's serve. Both players looked at each other with a preditorial gleam. Ayami spiked the ball to Naruto, he served it back other to her, she hit it to N-Hayai, who spiked it to her, only to be stopped by A-Hayai, and served back, Naruto slammed it back over, and she did the same. It went on like this for quite a while, fifteen minutes in fact. Until Ayami got a devious smirk, she slammed the ball over his head, he scrambled to hit it back over, after a game of hot potato, he managed to shoot it back to A-Hayai, who in turn spiked it down on the ground of Orange team's side, ending the game with 10 to 9.

After the game was decided, both colasped in their spots.

"That was a good game!" Naruto said, after a minute of catching his breath.

"Yep, we should do it again sometime!" Ayami smiled happily. She frowned as she looked at her watch. "But I better get back to help my dad, it's almost time for evening rush-our." She said.

"Okay, I'll walk you back!" He said.

"In a minute, I don't have the boundless energy you do." She said sitting up to rub her calves.

Soon enough, they were on there way, Hayai followed silently as always. For the simple fact that as Naruto put it old people don't know what to say at certain times. Soon enough, they dropped Ayami off and were headed back to the Hokage's office. When they were about halfway there, Naruto gave the hokage a knowing look.

"You ready?" Naruto asked.

"As always," He said, competitivness now showing in his eyes.

"On your marks."

"Get set."

"Go!"

And with that both boys dissappeared. It was a long standing game that when ever the hokage snuck away from his work, they would have a contest on who was able to sneek back in the tower first without being caught. Though, now it was not a contest of who wouldn't be caught, because both were way to good by now to even be suspected by even the most experienced ANBU. Unless it was someone from the Aburame clan, those bugs are sneaky, but Sarutobi made sure that they weren't on duty when he was sneaking off. Now it was just a race between them. Mostly Sarutobi would win, but Naruto had his fair share of victories, and that's saying something when going up against the hokage.

Naruto did have quite a few advantages against the hokage, and anyone else who challenges him to something involving stealth. What they are wont be listed in this chapter, or perhaps even this story, but they are there.

Sarutobi entered the office first this time, realeasing his henge and dispersing his clone, he sat down and finished what his clone had started. Then having second thoughts, he created five more clones and had them attack the never ending paperwork pile. Naruto popped up beside him out of thin air.

"Well, it was fun old man, but I have some more trianing to do." He said before dissappearing through the window.

* * *

Naruto sat in the class room bored out of his mind. Today they were taking a test. It wasn't all that hard, he got enough of them right. It's just now that he was done and others weren't he was bored out of his mind, waiting for the clock to strike 3:00

While waiting, he was contemplating on what to do to pass the time.

'_I could yell something like: Waffles are attacking the world! Nah, that's something to graffiti somewhere. How about: After school Effels the Retarded Rabbit and Bugs Bunny going to have a dance off! No, that doesn't sound right. I could ask a stupid question; like why does one of the legendary Sanin look like Michel Jackson? Is he gay? Yeah, that seems like the question to ask.' _

Meanwhile with Iruka:

'_Ah, giving tests. What perfect torture for the students. MUHAHAHA. I wonder what I should give them after lunch. Maybe some work from that boring old textbook Yes, yes, wait; I sense something off. Looks at Naruto, who looks to have a devious plan. Can't have that now can we…now what can I do. Oh, I have the perfect plan. Naruto is bad._

With Naruto:

Naruto was just about to hop up when…

"Achoo!" He sneezed right back into his chair.

Iruka: _'He doesn't listen.'_

Naruto: "Achoo!"

Iruka: '_He's a crafty, crazy prankster.'_

Naruto: "Achoo! Achoo!"

Iruka: '_And a big trouble maker.' _

Naruto: 'Achoo, Achoo, ACHOO!!' Naruto put his head down on the desk. '_Where did all those sneezes come from! I feel a little dizzy now.'_

Iruka: '_Task completed. Now time to get back to that book.' _He thought as he opened up a textbook, which a certain little orange book between its pages titled Icha-Icha Paradise was held.

Naruto: '_Humph, probably someone like Sasuke talking about me'_

Sasuke: "Achoo!" '_Is that dead-last talking about me?'_

Naruto: "Achoo! '_Yep, it's him.' _He said sending a glare to the prodigy.

Sasuke: "Achoo!" _This is getting old. I'll get Naruto later._

Fangirls: '_That Naruto is probably saying something bad about Sasuke-kun! How dare he!!' _

A couple of dozens of sneezes later from Naruto, he was found passed out on the ground, swirls in his eyes, and a pale complexion with a red nose. Sneezing like that just wasn't natural. The girls of the class had a 'serves-him-right' look while the boys had an 'is-he-dead?' look.

There question was soon answered when the clock hit that final minute to lunch. Naruto popped back to his normal form.

"FINALLY!" He leapt up and yelled as he ran out the door to lunch in a dust cloud. Peculiarly three tire marks imprinted themselves on the floors.

How?

Why are you asking me that question?

Why are there three tire marks?

I don't really know.

What do you mean I'm the author?

Look, just because I'm the author doesn't mean I have answers to the things I made up.

Anyway, back to the story.

Iruka and Mizuki sweat-dropped at Naruto's behavior. The class looked confused as to where he got to be so fast. Everyone was confused as to how tire marks got on the floor. They were all stumped in thinking of what tires were in the first place.

* * *

Naruto sat up in a tree happily slurping his beef ramen, while humming 'song of the ramen bees.' He seemed completely unaware of what was going on around him. He seemed to not notice the three agitated chuunins standing before him on the branches. He seemed to not know there twitching, evil glinting eyes as they slowly brought a net above his head.

'_Well get him this time on first try!' _One thought

'_Let's see him try to pull some stunts now.' _Another gleefully thought.

'_Ha, well get him with out being ambushed multiple times today!' _The third thought cockily

'_He's ours!' _The final said as they all leaped at him, nets in hand.

He seemed not to know…

To the chuunins…

"AAAH!!" They shouted together, launching at the unknowing Naruto. They caught him in the net. He began struggling. The Chuunins pulled back to smile at there catch. They looked into the net, to give the trouble-making blond a triumphant look.

They were greeted with a feral creature.

They were greeted with a feral wolverine

They were greeted with a feral mother wolverine...

Which had her kids on the branch…

And she sliced through the net with ease…

Those chuunin had some trouble...

* * *

Naruto had such a hard time not to laugh as the chuunin ran away in terror as the 'wolverine' flew after them.

Payback jutsu worked in more ways than one. He wondered what they would say once they realized they were being chased by a fly…That thought made Naruto explode with laughter, falling off the branch, hitting the ground head first.

BANG!

The students around the tree jumped, and looked cautiously at the flying projectile, trying to see through the dust. Once the air cleared, there laid a orange and yellow car-crash looking Naruto. He had swirls in his eyes and ramen bunnies twirling around his head.

Later on…

"What do you think we should do with him." A pleasantly plump fellow asked as he ate some chips.

"It's too troublesome to think. Why don't we follow his example and sleep?" A lazy fellow said after a yawn.

"We could spill a bucket of water on him, that would get him up." A brown haired boy with a white dog in his jacked suggested.

"Maybe push him out of another tree?" A monotone voice added. He got looks from the others. "What? It's worth a try!" They shook there heads at there shady companion.

"M-m-maybe y-y-you should j-j-just try t-to w-wake him?" A shy girl stuttered through.

"Nah, he's too deep under, let's try mine first…"

SPLASH!!

"Well, cold water didn't wake him." Kiba shrugged

"Mine next." Shino said.

BAM!

"I don't think that fall helped…" The bug user said thoughtfully.

"Oh, I know, let's try coke and pop rocks!" Choji suggested

"SURE" They all agreed…

SPSHHHHHHHHHHHH

"That didn't work either." Choji yelled over the sound of the mini geyser erupting from Naruto's mouth. His friends huddled under the sun umbrella as the fizz was raining everywhere.

"Let's tie his tongue to a kite and fly it!" Shikamaru said over the noise.

"After this fizz stops…

FRUUUUUGRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

The five friends, plus a dog, watched with dotted eyes as Naruto was being dragged along the ground…by a kite…on his tongue.

"Who knew that the wind was so strong today…" Shikamaru said, not even adding his signature 'troublesome.'

"Uh, maybe it was a bad idea to substitute a kite for a hang glider…" Kiba thought. Akamaru whimpered his agreement.

"He must be dead to not wake up to that!" Choji exclaimed, mouth agape, bag of chips on the ground.

"We should have just left him…" Shino said, his voice actually sounded shocked.

"Oh my…he must have an unbelievable amount of endurance!" Hinata said with out stuttering once, hands over her mouth to hide it's hanging open.

Later on, after the wind died down…

The four boys were in a panic. Naruto still lay there unmoving, in an even worse condition than before. Bruises and cuts were all on him, his tongue so swollen that it was a red balloon. Lunch was coming closer to a close. They were imagining some really horrible things right now…

PANIC THOUGHT MODE

Kiba, Akamaru, Choji, Shikamaru, and Shino all stood before an angry hokage and council of teachers. There families were in the background hanging there heads in shame.

"You four are charged for the murder of Uzamaki Naruto!" Sarutobi yelled at the terror-stricken kids. "You will all be punished severely!" This caused them all to gulp.

"YOU!" He pointed to Choji, "Are hereby sentenced to never eat another snack or barbeque again!" He yelled.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Choji screamed in agony, falling to the floor.

"YOU!" He pointed to Kiba. "Are sentenced to bread and train cats until you die!" All the color in Kiba's faced drained.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kiba howled, as his dog Akamaru faded from view.

"YOU!" He pointed to Shino "Shall feed all you bugs to frogs, then you will breed the frogs!" Shino fainted

"Oh-ho-ho, don't think I forgot you!" He pointed at Shikamaru. "For killing Naruto, I hereby sentence you to a life time of strenuously hard work with only one 15 minute break every 7 hours! AND you can't ever watch another cloud a gain!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Shikamaru hollered. Suddenly, a creepy ghost form of Naruto rose from beneath them, looking at them mercilessly.

"You will pay!" He said again and again, between menacing laughs. The group of 'boys' huddled in a circle, all crying out for mercy as the hokage, teachers, and there families started chanting 'Murderer! Murderer!' again and again as there world seemed to swirl into a vortex of pitch black that sucked in there screams for help…

END PANIC THOUGHT MODE

"What are you boys wailing about?" Iruka asked as he walked over to the panicking group. No sooner than he was in reaching distance did the boys latch onto his legs, crying there eyes out, shouted garbled "We're sorry!" and "It was an accident!" Iruka looked at them confused.

"Hey, what's up with you guys." Naruto asked.

Everything froze.

The raccoons running, the boys crying, the wind blowing…everything.

They slowly, and mechanically turned there heads towards Naruto and Hinata.

"How?" They asked simultaneously.

"I-I just went over a-and w-woke h-h-him up…" Hinata said while twiddling her fingers. The groups jaws were on the floor, and there eyes were as big as dinner plates.

"Why am I wet?" Naruto asked. Kiba visibly stiffened.

"Why does my head hurt! I feel like I fell out of a tree twice!" He said holding his head. Shino gulped.

"My tongue has this unbearable fizziness to it." He said with a look of distaste on his face. Choji shuddered, while fingering his snack pouch.

"And my tongue feels really sore, plus I feel like I've been dragged along the ground a while." Shikamaru was sweating bullets.

"Can you tell me Hinata-Chan?" He turned towards her and asked. All the boys went white.

Brrrrrring!!

No sooner did the lunch bell go off were the boys pulling Naruto towards class, clamoring about how they 'wouldn't want to be late.'

Iruka looked towards Hinata.

"You wouldn't know anything about that would you?" He asked her, she immediately began blushing. Just as she was about to speak, the boys were pulling her away too.

Iruka sweat-dropped. "Those kids get weirder and weirder…" He said to himself.

* * *

"I'm not going to prank." Naruto said decisively as he walked through the village. He said it so firmly that anyone would have believed it. It almost made him believe it. Key word: almost. While walking his eyes darted to a cart filled with bananas.

"That cart would make good missiles to…No! No More Pranks!" He shouted at himself, getting confused glances from the villagers. He didn't want to prank so often anymore, because the lectures were taking away his training time. He walks under a ladder, ideas of setting up pranks there (aside from the panic of bad-luck), he walks past a dog, prank idea pops up, he trips over a can, well what do you know, another prank!

Yep. Not pranking was getting harder and harder.

"Must not prank, must not prank, must not prank" he repeated to himself.

"Hey, hey, over here!" A voice called out to him. He looked up to see…some undergarments on a cloths wire. Suddenly, a pair of purple underwear with green dots grew a mouth and started talking. "Hey, you know you could guide the TLH in here and bombard them with under-garments." The bra's, socks, and other underwear agreed.

"No! No I can't prank!" Naruto shouted and ran. He leaped up to the top of a gardening shop and painted on the roof. "Don't people have any better since than to hang there underwear like that! And who ever herd of PURPLE underwear with GREEN SPOTS!" He yelled once he caught his breath. He breathed in relief.

"Hey, Naruto! Down here!" He heard someone yell from bellow. Against his better judgment, he looked over the edge to see flowerpots of dirt. One large flower bed had two flower eyes, and a mouth. His eyes widened in fear.

"NO! nononononononononononononNONONONO!!" He said, instantly leaping off the roof, hands over his ears as he tried to block out the ravenous prank-suggestions they were giving him. Because of this, he wasn't moving very coordinated, so he jumped of the roof, missing the other one by a mile, and fell head first on the cold hard ground. Doing so, he managed to scare the hell out of some bystanders.

He blearily opened his eyes, finding his body at a twisted angle, his head on the ground, his legs off to the side. The whole thing looked weird and painful. Which made it all the more surprising when Naruto hopped up, as if nothing had happened, and ran off. Though his orientation was off, and ended up looking like a drunk.

Finally, he ran straight into a tree, falling flat on his butt.

"Huh?" He said, looking up the large tree, wondering where that came from. At first he just sat there, staring at it. Then something caught his attention. It was a small, but noticeable twinge of something…metallic. Now that he thought about it, something smelled metallic too. It smelled familiar, but he couldn't place the sent.

"Now what can that be." He though, closing his eyes and concentrating on the sounds. What surprised him was that it was as if he was surrounded by what ever he sensed. He opened his eyes and looked around, not seeing anything out of the ordinary, until:

"Hey, you there!" A shrill voice called out. Naruto tensed up. He turned slowly to his side, spying a thing, green wire, blending in perfectly with the grass. Now he knew what he sensed. Ninja wire. But unlike the one he uses, this one was smaller, and camouflaged into the environment. Now that he knew what he was looking at, he realized that such wires were all around him.

And I mean ALL around him.

He looked up, not seeing wires, but knowing they were there. He _knew!_ But he couldn't see them.

"Think of what pranks I could do with this! Wait. NO! I can't prank!!" He pounded his head. He immediately got up, needing to find a way out of such prank-tempting areas. No sooner did he get up did some kunai launch at him. He narrowly dodged them, managing to trigger another trap which the ground launched into the air. He, mostly because of his size, was launched high up, and then came falling down, with more kunai and shiruken coming at him. Not wanting to become a pin cushion, but seeing it impossible to evade, he quickly came up with a plan to come out alive. Or he hoped.

As he was falling, he took out his one and only kunai and used it to block the first one to arrive, sending it spiraling back. This in turn, caused the weapon to hit five others, causing them to spiral, thus creating a constant chain reaction. He still had to block some, and a few times he was hit, but soon, before he hit the ground, he learned when and where to hit the weapons to create the desired affect.

CRASH!

Sadly, as he was blocking kunai, he didn't notice how close that ground was getting. Thus, he landed on, actually, went through a couple of tree branches.

"Ow!" He said on the ground, preparing to get up, but feeling some wires under him, as well as seeing wires all around. He gulped.

"Okay, where am I and how did I get here. Or more importantly, how do I leave alive?" He thought. Looking about cautiously, he spotting a blue wire along the bark. It was only there because when he fell through the branches, he disturbed some wires. Following the wire, he noted on how it disappeared in the sky. Now that he actually looked at it, he noticed the differences between the wire and the sky, although slight. Speaking of the sky, he realized the sun signified high noon, which was weird considering how he left the academy in late afternoon. Also, there wasn't a cloud in the sky. It took him a while, put he eventually came to the conclusion that he was under a genjutsu.

"Okay, first off, how do I get out of these things! Why didn't Iruka bother to teach us about dispelling these!" He yelled at no one in particular. Even though it wasn't covered in the academy-at least to his knowledge- he knew from sneaking into a family library somewhere the effects of genjutsu. Sadly, he didn't read far enough to learn how to disperse them.

'_Note to self, finish that scroll!' _He thought. "Okay, this looks like a pretty advanced genjutsu. The only possible way of escape is to block off the senses it affects, which is all of them…that wont work. I could also find the source, but that can be impossible, seeing that it's so far stretched. I could just try my luck and run like crazy, but I could be running for days and never escape. Okay, think. How can I get out of this." The more he thought, the more hopeless it seemed.

He decided just to try his luck and run thought it. The traps wont be that much of a problem with how he uses them on others. Nodding, he quickly got up, and ran. No sooner did he get up, did actual steal missiles fly at him, imbedding themselves into the bark. He gulped. Looked as if the traps weren't getting easier. Soon he found himself being flipped in the air, his legs tightly bound. He quickly used his trusty blade to cut the wires, but no sooner did that happen did the earth seem to open up and he found a mud pit below him. Not wanting to see if that was _just _mud, he grabbed a wire and used as much momentum he could get to divert his path to the seemingly safe ground. The wire snapped under his weight, and sharpened, sphere-like logs launched at him from all directions.

"What's up with all these traps!" He yelled, narrowly maneuvering out of the way. Despite the dire situation, he actually found himself having fun.

Soon enough, he was laughing out loud, evading the traps only getting easier and easier. He even learned how to set off other traps before he got to that area. He surprised himself at how fast he learned to maneuver efficiently. Though it was far from good, it was much better than being a hair's breath from decapitation.

Soon enough, he was running around. Looking at the area that looked like a battle field. Soil up-turned, trees desecrated, wires were hanging everywhere, once green patches of grass was turned into nothing but upturned ground. Some areas were scorched or flooded from where a few jutsus went off.

But on the bright side, Naruto learned a lot. He stopped running, looking around, straining his ears, keeping aware. Once it seemed like nothing else was going to attack him, he plopped his tired form on the ground.

In addition, he took it as his responsibility to collect all the weaponry and other resources.

Three hours later, Naruto had managed to get all the weapons, all the wires, a lot of camouflage cloaks, and quite a few ideas. The only problem was, he was still stuck in the genjutsu.

"How do I get out of this?" He thought to himself, as he paced the forest floor. "Uggg!" He sighed, plopping himself down. He looked up into the tree.

"Maybe I can see a way out up there." He thought. He soon found himself scrambling up the tree, to the shaky top. Looking around, he saw no means of escape. He sighed. Being the knucklehead he is, he forgot the lack of support he had in the tree, and crossed his arms. Which in-turn, caused him to…fall off the tree.

What a way to go.

Down,

Down,

Down,

Down,

That's one tall tree.

Down,

Plop!

He hit the ground.

He got up, all dizzy and confused.

Looked around, mildly amused.

Alright, enough with the children book.

Naruto looked around, amused and annoyed. The jutsu was gone. The moon shone high now. All it took for him to do is to bring himself pain. His mind drifted back to the first time he fell. He sighed. Figures it would take him getting a concussion to disperse the jutsu.

Naruto heaved a tired sigh as he fell at the base of a willow, among his favorite training spot. Not far from him, there were stacks of the training equipment. It took him about thirty seven round trips to get all them here. He was now tired and sleepy. Too tired to go back home. Simply reaching in the burrow under the roots, he pulled out a plastic bag, coated with dirt. Ignoring the dirt, he pulled out a pillow and a cover. Needless to say, five minutes later he was on the ground, snoring the night away.


	9. Chapter 9: ohhhhh

* * *

Chapter 9: Oooooh, the wonderful world of swords

**Chapter 9: Oooooh, the wonderful world of swords. **

Disclaimer:

It was a sunny day, as our favorite author was walking down the pyramids of Egypt. When suddenly, she spotted a gold, glowing document shimmering in a cave. Intrigued by interest, she ran to it. Reading the wonderful letters, she read: Copyright of Naruto.

"OMG, OMG, OMG! The ultimate copy right!" She exclaimed, running to the paper. As she neared it, a trap door opened, making her fall down a bottomless pit, one inch away from the golden pages.

"NOOOOOOOO!" She yelled, watching the gold radiance disappear from sight. "One of these days, I'll own that document, but for now, I own nothing but the ploooooooot!" She yelled until she disappeared down the bottomless pit.

**AN: **That was interesting. Anyway, on to the show!

* * *

He stared at the weapons, deep in thought.

There before him were his prize weapons from the previous day. He was certain he wouldn't have to buy a kunai or shiruken for a while. (Not that he brought any in the first place, those prices were murder!) There was also a good supply of shadow shiruken, spears, sie, (I don't know how to spell them, but there those thing Raphael has on teenage mutant ninja turtles (the red one), nun-chucks, gavels, daggers, kodachi, and a few swords.

The problem was, he didn't know how to use most of the stuff. In fact, he didn't even know most of this stuff existed. He's never seen anyone ever use this stuff, (excluding the things you know he uses). What's the use of it all if he cant use it?

"I know!" He jumped up, yelling. With that, he darted off through the woods, leaving nothing but blurs.

Now, as our mental camera pans through Konoha, we are lead to a building labeled; Konoha Public Library, Eastern Branch. We are now led though the doors, and past the librarian, through the stacks of books, up the stairs, past the main tables, into a single, lone table in the corner. Here, a black-haired, black-eyed boy sat, with a pair of dirt-brown pants, and a sky-blue shirt. On his filled table, there lay books on many different weapons, and some on camouflage cloaks, each one taking its turn of being read through by Naruto. With how fast he was reading them you'd think that he was a natural born reader. Never would anyone have thought that, just a few months ago, he couldn't read worth his life.

He was actually compared with a sponge; everything he reads, hears and sees gets absorbed into that pink mush called a brain. Many of the people walked by, looking at the coal-headed boy, wondering how he could even think to read so much. More observant people smiled at the sight of someone so eager to learn. The really observant people were amazed at how interested he was in weapons. The shinobi, either active or retired, smirked at how promising the younger generation seemed.

Either way, Naruto was here, reading away. This was his favorite library. Why? Because this library had more books on shinobi info, than all the others combined -besides the one in the Hokage tower, but he didn't know that. When he walked in, he was actually greeted with Ino and Sakura. He almost blew his cover by yelling a 'Hi'. But he didn't, and that was what's important. They wouldn't have noticed anyway, for there glaring match dominated there attention. They actually ran through his area once, babbling about 'get that book first' between themselves. In fact, of he were to listen, you could actually hear the arguing, though it was whispered, it was loud. If was aware, he could've felt the tense air. Yet, none of that registered to him. Only thing going on in his mind was him and those books.

Yep, he was a bookworm in disguise.

Well, unless you want to hear about his bookworm life, let's time skip.

* * *

It was a normal day in the forest, the trees, the bushes, the birds, the moving patch of ground…

Okay, maybe that's not exactly normal. Let us follow that moving patch shall we.

(15 minutes later.)

Naruto snickered as he arrived at training ground 32. He was hidden under the camouflaged cloak he scavenged from the last training ground.

"Right on time!" He whispered to himself. After he learned about uses of those weapons, he decided to practice himself. But he found that practicing with-out knowing if it looks right was useless. Thus, he snuck into the hokage tower and into the library. There, he found a file on who used what training grounds, and for what. Apparently, the last on he stumbled upon was run by a trap-master, though that is obvious now.

He learned that this spot was used by a nun-chuck specialist.

(Later on)

He watched training with the kodachi.

(Later on)

He watched training with sie.

(Later on)

He watched training with swords.

That on, by far, was the most interesting.

Naruto sat a safe distance away, a pair of expensive binoculars in hand. A female jonin sensei and a boy chuunin gakusei (student) stood face to face. The sensei's lips started moving, into which Naruto heard with ease as "Lets begin, first we'll practice dance of the lotus."

"Why would they dance with swords?" Naruto asked. Soon, they took off. His eyes widened in surprise and amazement. His mouth formed a perfect "o". They gracefully moved toward each other, as if they were doing some sort of ballet. If it wert for the loud and defining clash of metal on metal, Naruto would have been convince that they were practicing for a dance. He watched attentively, burning the movements into his brain for later use. Using the sword seemed so interesting, so fun, and so easy. He was almost compelled to stop right there and try it. Yet that would cause him to miss some stuff, and most likely reveal himself in the process.

He watched as the gakusei brought his sword in a graceful arc down onto the sensei's head, only for her to block, pus the sword off, spin around and aim a hit to the side. This was caught by his sword blocking and pushing her off. The boy then performed some footwork as he brought the sword in a swift motion to the neck, the woman dodged and shot her weapon into his open chest. The boy jumped back before decapitation, and charged in for the kill. The sensei leaped back, to use a tree to jump above the student, and swung her sword down. The student avoided decapitation by dodging, and leaping onto a large tree branch. The sensei followed, and soon they were going at it on that branch. Soon enough they were hoping from branch to branch to branch, fighting.

All this happed in less than 30 seconds. Naruto was enveloped in watching them.

* * *

The Hokage was smirking at the scene. Looks like a certain blond just found a new interest. He was going to be sure that Naruto knows where else to go to watch some sword training. Naruto didn't know, but the Hokage knew of all his antics, except when he was setting up a prank in to which for some reason he misses those. Why, because I say so. Anyway, Sarutobi knew of it, and promoted him in his persistence to learn. He actually had a verbal argument with the jonin whose training field he plumaged. Not that it lasted long, because nobody wanted an enrage hokage on their hands. Replacing those weapons cost a pretty penny, not that he minded.

It's his ramen obsession that's scary. Last time he treated Naruto he was left close to being poor. So he decided to help Naruto in learning how to be a good shinobi, much safer on the wallet. He smiled as he pulled several scrolls, from his own personal collection. Was Naruto in for a surprise.

* * *

Naruto was happily making his way to the next training ground. He decided out of all of them sword was the best. He also was determined to master it.

GRUMBLE, GRUMBL, GRUMBLE, POP!

Apparently, his stomach was determined to get some food first.

"Aw, come on! Cant I just watch one more sword lesson!"

Grumble

"Please?"

Grumble, Grumble, Grumble!

"Come on! Right after one more!"

"Grumble!"

"Hey! Am not, I feed you all the time, if anything your being selfish."

"Grumble, Grumble, grumble, grumble, grumble."

"Says the sack of muscle tissue."

"Grumble, Grumble, Grumble, Grumble."

"Well maybe I should become anorexic!"

"Grumble, Grumble, Grumble."

"Try me."

"Grumble, _**LURCH!! **_"

"OW! Okay, okay, you win. I was going to go anyways."

"Grumble, Grumble."

"Well I was."

And with that, Naruto took a detour to the ramen shop.

"Hey old man!" Naruto greeted as he popped in. Techui and his daughter Ayami smiled at him. "Hello Ayami!" He said to his daughter, in a more respectful manner than the father.

"Well with the way you greet I would think you were a suitor of my daughter." The chef laughed.

"Huh?" Naruto asked, looking like a confused kitten. That only got laughs from him.

"Don't mind him Naruto, what would you like?" Ayami said, giving Techui a good-natured glare.

"Five bowls of Miso please!" He said. Techui replied by going to work. "You got it!" Ayami said, before going to help her father. A few moments later, Naruto had three empty bowls stacked up, and he was working on the fourth.

"I see you were hungry." Techui chuckled.

"Yep, I was up ever since early this morning getting some good lessons." He said, now on the fifth bowl. Techui smirked.

"So, that means your learning a lot in school."

"Yep! A whole lot!" He exclaimed, digging in to his last bowl. Techui waited until he was finished, paid and was on his way out. "Have a nice time in school!" He shouted as he was leaving.

"Sure thing!" Naruto said. The chef waited for that to sink in, until he heard the distinct "OH CRAP I SUPPOSED TO BE IN SCHOOL!!" That set him laughing and Ayami shaking her head.

* * *

An extremely fast orange streak was making its way to the hokage tower, going unnoticed by the villagers, and shinobi. When on the verge of being caught, the streak would seemingly merge into a fence, in a cat or dog, or on a building. Once the heat died down, it was active once more, going to that tower.

This streak was non other than Naruto, going faster than most genins. When ever he was on the verge of being discovered, he would henge into an animal, or use his camouflaged cloak. While at the library, he realized that he could make the cloak camouflage into anything, as long as he applied a little chakra. As a result, his stealth was ten times better than normal. He decided to practice using the cloak and henge for stealth. It was harder than just using his own ordinary stealthy ways, but he was determined to master different methods of stealth.

He believed that it was best to always have a back-door in doing things. That way if something prevents him from doing it one way he could always do it another way. He found that using this method, he couldn't hide from the jonins or ANBU, nor a few high chuunins. Thus, he decided that the best way to practice was to try and sneak up on the hokage. If he could get past his defenses, then he was sure he could get past everyone else's. That would make it easier to sneak up and watch others training. Seeing as to how he was recently caught. If it weren't for his legs, he was sure he'd be close to dead by now.

It didn't take long for him to get inside the tower, and was surprisingly easy to sneak in. Yet as soon as he was in the hokage's office, Sarutobi busted him.

Let us review what happened. Naruto stood outside the Hokage's door, camouflaged as the wall, thinking of a way to sneak in. Suddenly, the secretary walked down, a stack of papers in hand. She knocked on the door, and when she was given the permission, walked in. Naruto quickly dashed through the open door, morphing into the other wall. As the secretary set the papers down and left, the Hokage seemed to be deep in thought.

"Naruto, you can come out now." He said suddenly, surprising him. Naruto came out of his disguise.

"How'd ya know it was me?" He sighed dejectedly. Sarutobi laughed.

"Cut it with the pity show." He said. Soon, Naruto was in front of him, sitting on his desk.

"But how _did _you know it was me?" He asked pleadingly.

"I read you chakra signature." He said.

"Huh? What's that? And how do you hide it?" Naruto inquired.

"Simple, you suppress your chakra." Sarutobi answered. "Everyone has a unique chakra signature, it's like how everyone has a different voice." He explained.

"How do I suppress it? And how come I can't ever find them on others?"

"Naruto, you need to know how to find them first." He hid a smirk. Knowing what was coming.

"How do I find them?" He asked.

"Although I could explain, that'd be too easy, so here." He said handing him a scroll. Naruto first smiled at the scroll and the thought of learning a new technique, and then replaced that with a frown. "But can't you just show me ojiisan?"

"No, its not as fun that way." He smirked.

"Please?"

"How about this as incentive," He held up a scroll, "Once you finish that, I'll give you this scroll. It teaches you the first steps of using a sword." He smiled as Naruto's eyes got wide.

"COOL! I have this done in no time! I'll go right no…Hey, how'd you know I was interested in swordsmanship?" He asked suspiciously. Sarutobi smirked once more.

"I'm the Hokage, I have to know what everyone is up to." He shrugged. Naruto accepted that answer, and hopped out the window to learn that scroll. "See ya' old man!" He yelled as he left. Sarutobi let out a sigh. "Must he rub in my old age." He shook his head, smiling as he did so.

* * *

(Thee hours later.)

Naruto sat cross-legged in his favorite spot. Leaves over almost all his tenketsu. He eyes were closed in concentration, his hands together in a single hand sign. His goal; to make the leaves stick to him. He already was half-way there, the leaves would stay as long as he didn't move a lot. The problem was, he moved a lot.

As it turned out, learning how to suppress your chakra signature was like learning how to control your chakra with leaves, except reversed. It was kind of tricky, seeing as to how it took him to months to master that leaf exercise, not that it helped him form a clone, much to his ire.

Staying as focused as he could, he slowly stood up. The leaves stuck. He started walking around. The leaves stuck. He jumped a few times. They stuck. He stepped on water. They stuck. He tried to run. They fell off.

"Dang-it!!" He shouted. "I was so close!" Calming down, he sat down, replaced the leaves, and started over. After a few seconds, he tried running again, only for them to fall off. Naruto started to get frustrated. It was almost impossible to calm down. He looked to the pile of swords. He was determined to get that scroll. He made a deal with him. Although he didn't say it, his actions sealed the deal. He learns this scroll, he gets that scroll. Simple way to put it.

He put the leaves back and tried again. He pictured himself spying on ANBU and the hokage with the technique. He imagined his body, pilling in chakra from around him. It was like how you reel in fishing lines. He focused each tenketsu point on his body. He felt the chakra being pulled in, and focused to strengthen that pull. Soon enough, there was no more chakra being pulled in. Instead, he felt other charkas around him. It was weird, but in his mind's eyes, because they were closed, he could see what the chakra was emanating from, and even see it in color. He focused more on this, and found them taking shape and form around him, until he could actually see a chakra lined clearing that he loved so well. The tree's leaves were dark-green, the bark was brown, like it was in real life, but glowing. The grass were a lighter shade than the trees, and he could even see the fish in the water. Some were green, other were pink, others were orange. He spotted some birds that had more neutral tones, but some outlandish, like lime green, bluish-yellow, and so on. He spotted light brown rabbits in the tall grass, and even saw some bugs crawling around. Things that were once living emanating a dark gray glow, against the black of everything else, the things that never were living to begin with were black. If it weren't for him knowing this spot by heart, he'd not known that they were there.

The water, however, was an extremely dark blue. He could see each ripple. The sky was a lighter blue, and the sun was a bright white, but not blinding as it normally is. Clouds were like cotton balls of light-gray. Rocks, were pitch black, so black that they stood out from the black background. Same for the metal-clad weapons. So he knew they were there, it was just hard to tell them from the blackness at first glance. Then again, with everything else glowing, it was hard not to see it.

"O-Kay, this is weird." He thought. "Really weird." Looking around, he noticed the scroll. "Oh yeah!" he yelled, opening his eyes, keeping tight hold to the leaves. He could still feel the chakra from the things around him. Every time he blinked, he saw everything in like when he had his eyes closed, if only brief. He got up, and started walking. Okay, that was good. He jumped around. Good. He walked on water. Good. He ran around the clearing. Good. He leaped up and around the trees. Good.

Finally, he stopped, looked to see if the leaves were really in place. It took him a moment to register that he was successful, another one to decide on which coarse of action. Not long after though, he was leaping though the forest as a green and orange streak, bulleting to the hokage tower.

Now, anyone going at such high speeds coming out of nowhere would scare anybody. The villagers and genin were scared right out there socks. The chuunins were no better off. Normally, the jonins and ANBU would know when he was coming because of his chakra signature. But that was hidden now. Thus when he rocketed out of thin air towards these high ranking, powerful ninja, they were so shocked, that they fell to the ground in panic, reaching for there weapons, but he was gone before they could pull them out. Sarutobi, seeing all this, shook his head. Seems like he was going to expect some trouble out of him. He decided that it would be good to tone down Naruto's speed a bit.

He was very fast for anyone his age. In fact, he was faster than most genin, and some chuunin. Which is why he can get away from them so easily when being pursued from his pranks. But then again, that was to be expected. Naruto was always running from something when he was younger. Angry mobs, angry pranked mobs, angry pranked shinobi, angry pranked hokage…okay forget that last one. Anyway, it was natural for Naruto to be faster than most.

Sarutobi wanted him to get better at his skills, but didn't want him to run around like a bullet scaring everyone to death. One of these days, someone was going to have a heart attack because of him. Some are already in a comatose state, if only lasting for a few minutes. He smiled as Naruto arrived. He knew just how to deal with this.

"OJIIIIIIII!!" Naruto ran in, so exited, he skipped out on the 'san' part. "I mastered the scroll like I said I would I kept these leaves on all the way here and even surprised the ANBU so now that I mastered this technique can I please have the sword scroll now, huh? Because I know soon I'll master that one and will be a great swordsman and that will get me one step closer to being the hokage!! He exclaimed all in one breath. It amazed Sarutobi that he didn't seem to be out of breath at all. But then again, knowing Naruto, he could've gone on much longer with out feeling an ounce of shortness.

"Well, I see that." He said calmly. Them smiled wide. "Now that you mastered that, you may have the other scroll, but I also have something else for you." And with that, he reached into his drawer and pulled out four orange weights with blue on the edges and as the lining.

"Theses are chakra weights. The more chakra you add to them the heavier they'll be. This way you can strengthen you muscles, and increase your speed." He said, smirking at Naruto's wide-eye expression. '_I'll never get tired of seeing that shocked face of his.' _He thought.

"Really!" Naruto asked, in more of a statement way. He nodded. The next thing he knew, Naruto was on the ground putting on the weights. Once they were on, he stood up.

"Wow, they fit great! So now I just put in the chakra!" He said, starting to concentrate.

"Only put…"

SLAM!!

Naruto fell to the floor hard. Sarutobi sighed.

"…a little." He finished his now superfluous sentence.

"Oh." He said, lifting himself up from his foot deep floor impression. "Guess it would work better with less weight." He said sheepishly. Then he tried added a little bit of chakra. This time around, he felt his legs and arms get heavy, but not overbearing. "Wow!" He said. "Thanks old man!" He cheered.

"Don't mention it. Now how about you go and train with those now." He smiled.

"Right!" He nearly yelled. He then was leaped out the window.

Sarutobi smirked.

"3…2…1…" he counted

"**Hey!! **What about that scroll you promised me?!" He hopped back in, yelling. This caused the leader of the village to laugh heartily.

"Well, I'm glad to see you remembered." He said, handing the smiling child the scroll. "As soon as you master this one I'll give you a more advanced one." He promised. Naruto smiled.

"I'll have this mastered in no time!" He exclaimed, now leaping out the window for good.

"I know you will." He said looking after him, before returning to his mountain of paper work. "Once you get older, your gonna have to relieve this hokage from this paperwork for another scroll." He sighed hopefully.

* * *

"Stretches?" Naruto asked nobody in particular as he read the scroll. He sat in his favorite training spot, sword propped up against a tree, ready for use. "I have to start out with stretches? Out of all things…" He mumbled, looking at the illustrated poses. "They look kinda gay to me." He added as an after thought, while cocking his head to the side. He was about to toss this whole concept, until he remembered something from earlier. When he read a book on swordsmanship, it said; "A good swordsman is always flexible and adjustable in different environments."

"Alright, think of becoming the next hokage. The best of them all." He said to himself. "The best hokage, the best hokage, the best hokage." He chanted over and over, as he pulled himself into the first position on the scroll.

* * *

Inside the Hokage's office, bared off from the rest of the world by a wall of paperwork surround all sides, a faint, but definite sound of suppressed laughter was heard. Behind the paperwork, was the hokage, leader of the villages, top ninja in Konoha…laughing like a loon.

Wiping away some tears, he looked into the ball, and saw Naruto in an interesting pose. He looked like a cross between a ballerina and a duck. It was hilarious. Naruto then pulled into anther pose, which started him off again.

"Oh man, I forgot how funny it was to watch others do this." He said after overcoming his laughter. "I can't wait to see the look on his face when he finishes," He chuckled mischievously.

* * *

**AN: **Now what could that scheming hokage be planning? Find out on the nest chapter of: Academy Days!

Hah, hah. Like I would do that to you all, or would I, but really, I still have some stuff to write.

Now on with the story!!

* * *

It was a week after the scroll situation. The day seemed to be happy and bright. It was a couple of hours after school. The birds were chirping, smiling villages, you know, the normal everyday happy scene in Konoha.

All this was interrupted by a very, very angry blond.

Naruto stomped on the rooftops, headed for the hokage tower. His cheerful smile, replaced with a deep, murderous frown. Fire burned behind his blue eyes. As he went across, the birds flew away in terror upon sensing his furious presence. He could barely keep his chakra signature hidden as he sneaked inside to the boss of the village.

"SARUTOBI!!" Naruto busted in, causing an eye-brow to raise on the hokage, an action that masterfully hid his smirk.

"Naruto, you can't just walk in expecting I have nothing to do." He said.

Suddenly, tumbleweed flew in from one window, and out the next. '_I swear nature is on his side.' _He sighed.

"Alright, what is it." He said knowingly.

Naruto didn't catch on to him already knowing the answer, and started ranting.

"First you said I needed to master that other scroll to get this one! Then you give me this one and the first thing it has me is thousands of stretches. So I stretched, and stretched, and stretched. I learned them all, memorized them all, and mastered them all. I look on to see if I FINALLY begin to train with the sword, and ITS BLANK!!" He yelled.

The hokage contrived an apologetic look, to help cover up his amusement "I'm sorry Naruto, but before I can set you on anything to advance, I must give you the basic stuff, so you can build up." Naruto didn't look happy.

"I think you just wanted me to do some gay stretches." He stated plainly. Sarutobi chuckled a bit, at reminder of how those stretches looked.

""I assure you that I did nothing of the sort." He said definitively. "Do you want the next scroll or not? I mean if you think the stretches were too much then I guess you wouldn't want to continue, the path to swordsmanship starts with embarrassing, seemingly pointless styles." He shrugged. Naruto's eyes got wide.

"I want the next scroll! Where is it! Can I have it!" He stated more than asked. All traces of anger gone. Instead his eyes portrayed a pure eagerness about them. "I want to start on it ASAP!" He yelled.

Sarutobi chuckled to himself. Apparently Naruto hasn't thought that the other scroll could be nothing more but more stretches. He felt compelled to give him just that. But that wouldn't be very noble, funny, but not noble. So he handed Naruto the next scroll, this one was green on the outside. The ramen-addicted blonde grabbed it greedily. He was about to leave when, he got a suspicious glance at the Hokage. He quickly opened the scroll and looked at what was inside.

The title read: Dance styles.

He fell head first into the ground.

"WHAT IS THIS!!" he yelled at the Hokage, who was wearing a smirk.

"That's another training scroll." He said simply.

"But what does dancing and some gay poses have to do with swordsmanship?" He asked irately.

"The skills are all interconnected, believe me. Tell ya what, if you manage to master that scroll in its entirety, then I will treat you to all the ramen you can eat that day." He smiled as Naruto's defiant mask slipped.

"Well, if you say that they are all interrelated, even though I don't believe you, I will learn it. Just how many more of these to go until I actually get to use a sword?" He asked. He wanted to know what he was getting himself into.

"Oh, just another scroll on the dance styles, except more advance, then you get to the actual sword."

"Okay," he reluctantly agreed, "But I'm gonna eat your money's worth later." He said sternly, then leapt out the window.

"Why did I offer the ramen again?" He thought to himself, dreading the hole that would soon fill his wallet.

* * *

One and a half months later…

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

Iruka stared at the blond who was snoring peacefully in his desk.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

The rest of the class stared at him too.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

His quite snores would normally be ignored, but since the class was so quite you could hear a pen drop…

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

Naruto's snoring was obvious.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

He was seemingly unaware of the stares. Annoyed, hateful, murderous stares from all the fangirls who thought he was interrupting Sasuke's train of thought, and for him to have the nerve to snore next to such an amazing figure. (**AN: **Cough, not, cough.)

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

He was oblivious to the annoyed stares from the teachers.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

He was oblivious to the half-amused, half-annoyed stares from all the boys, except Shikamaru, who was sleeping himself, but not snoring.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

He was just in a blissful sleep.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

The only two people who knew of the reason behind his snoring were Sarutobi, and Iruka. They knew that he was tired because he spent all day, going through the dance styles of both mastered scrolls rigorously, to prove he was ready for the next one. He spent half the day going through them all, a quarter bonding around on a high of excitement, only to be slowed down by the weights he unconsciously increases overtime. The last part of the day was spent emptying both of Iruka's and Sarutobi's wallets at Ichiraku's. Both whom are a hair's breath from being poor now. Unlike the ramen vendor who was a hair's breath from being rich.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

So he got barely any sleep, because they both knew that Naruto would rather train until he drops compared to just plain going to sleep, despite the insistence that he should get to sleep first.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

Iruka actually found out Naruto's activities by spying. He's been noticing the blond coming to class later, and more tired. He got suspicious of his activities, so he followed him to his favorite training spot. There he saw what he was up to.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

Afterwards, he met up with the Hokage and they planned on ways to help Naruto out more, and also to make sure he stops coming late and lazing about in school.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

So far, everything was going smooth.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

Except for when he slept in class.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

Like now.

ZZZZZZZZZZZ

He was about to get up and wake him, his snoring obliviously irking everyone. Until…

Silence.

His snoring ceased.

Soon after, everyone was returning to there work. Normally, he would've woken the blond, but he decided to take it easy on him today as a reward for his achievement.

But only for today.

Any other day and it's 'wakey, wakey.'

Besides, he was going to need his energy later. He smiled, he had the perfect inducement to get him to study some more.

Just have to wait a little later…

* * *

ZZZZZZZZZ…sniff, sniff…

"Ramen!" Naruto popped up from his sleep, greeted with a cup of noodles in front of his face. He quickly seized the noodles. He looked up to see Choji smiling at him. Looking around, Shikamaru, Kiba, Akamaru, Shino, and Hinata stood there waiting. Hinata was the one cuddling Akamaru at that moment, seemingly unaware of everyone else, as was Akamaru.

"Thanks for the ramen!" He exclaimed, then some chop sticks poof into existence. "Ikadisimasu!" (SP?) he exclaimed before diving in.

"Where did those chop sticks come from?" Kiba asked.

"Those whom truly respect food are prepared to eat it at all times." Choji filled in. He then opened his vest to show the napkins, knives, bowls, cups, pots, chips, and other things. Everyone else stared.

"Its true." The blonde shrugged. Showing the inside of his vest. There were many chopsticks, cups, knives, lighters, plates, bowels, packs of just-add-water emergency food, some skewers, pots, pans, and even a water picture.

Choji and Naruto then replaced there vests, and were going on eating as normal.

"I don't see it." Shikamaru said.

"Me neither." Kiba replied.

" I think I see a bump where it could be." Shino added.

"where did all that stuff go?" Kiba asked

"Maybe it's the clothes." Shikamaru thought.

"I need one of those then." The rest chorused.

After Naruto consumed his free lunch, he and the rest of the group went to recess. Naruto noted that Hinata really liked Akamaru, and vice versa. She looked so happy and carefree with that dog; she completely looses her shy demeanor. He vaguely wondered why she was so shy in the first place. Sadly, that thought was halted by something slamming into his head.

'BOINK!'

A red ball bounced rather roughly on his for head, and then back to where it came from. It's a good thing he has such a hard head. Naruto, now rubbing his head, was looking around for anymore flying projectiles. His friends tried hard to stifle there laughter.

"Hey, what are you laughing at?" He yelled irately.

"Its j-j-just that, you s-s-should have seen you face!" Kiba managed to chuckle out.

"Naruto, that ball was the most obvious thing coming in for a mile." Shino said, a hint of humor in his voice.

"Yeah, well it just caught me off guard. That's all."

"Sure it did, look, you weren't paying any type of attention. I know your grades bad, but your sight too?" Shikamaru added his teasing. Naruto started to get mad. Not angry-mad, more like play-mad. He knew that they didn't mean what they said offensive, he found it funny himself. Not like when other hateful people laugh at him, when he's badly hurt, and they laugh with the evil satisfaction to see him in pain. No. Not that type of laughing. He preferred to be a laughing stock in this way than in that hateful way.

Instead, he stormed off, towards that one single swing. Sitting there, brooding, his friends soon joined him, sitting around the tree trunk, or lying on the grass, one even stared up at the clouds. (Wonder who that could be.)

"You know, we haven't done anything fun together in a while." Kiba avowed after a moment, boredom seeping through him like water through toilet paper.

"Yeah, I agree." Naruto confirmed. "We've just been acting super-Shikamaru." He finished. Because of there friends lazy persona, they unanimously agreed that being lazy was given the title of being Shikamaru.

"Nothing's wrong with looking at the clouds." The lazy Nara responded with a scowling tone.

"Unlike you, you lazy bum, we want to do something more productive." Kiba voiced out.

"While the rest is good, it is reasonable to spend our free-time doing something memorable." The logic user said.

"Like what?" Choji asked, now curious as to what they could do with there free time.

"We could always paint a bunch of buildings, and then toilet paper all the trees, and lastly pour mud in front of peoples door-steps." Naruto added subconsciously, not really thinking about what they could do at that moment.

"No wonder why you're always in trouble." Shikamaru sighed. In response Naruto sheepishly rubbed his head.

"Heh, maybe it is." He said.

"Instead of getting us all in some extremely troublesome situation," Kiba started, using the Nara's favorite word, "we could hold some race around the village, with an obstacle course or something." That was enough to peek Naruto's attention.

"Obstacle coarse you say?" Naruto asked, now fully looking forward to what they were talking about.

"Nah, sounds too troublesome." Shikamaru banished the idea.

"Not if you're the judge to see who wins." Choji said.

"I'll consider it." He replied, not really sounding like he would.

"I think it's a great idea!" Choji said, knowing that they were going to make Shikamaru the judge, weather he liked it or not.

"I-I think s-so t-to" The shy Hyuuga added her quiet opinion.

"What are the obstacles going to be?" A now over-excited blond asked.

"I don't really know; I didn't get to that part." Kiba shrugged.

"I think we should do it in the forest somewhere, we can set up a good obstacle coarse with out worrying about the villagers getting in the way." Naruto voiced.

"Agreed, a race with the least amount of possible interference would be the best choice." Shino nodded, followed by agreed nods of everyone else.

"As long as I get a not to troublesome view of the clouds." Shikamaru stated.

"Wouldn't dream of having you any place else." Kiba chuckled. And that's what began the planning's of there race.

* * *

Naruto, Kiba, Choji, Shino, Hinata, and of coarse Akamaru all stood looking ahead proudly at there obstacle coarse. Shikamaru just yawned lazily, not showing any admiration at all. Then again, only thing he made was his judging post, which was really a cozy lawn chair with a big fluffy pillow. Perfect for cloud watching.

Naruto lead them to this underused training ground right after school. Him and his friends all brought a wealth of supplies for there obstacle coarse. The clearing was field with overgrown grass, spider webs, anthills, mosses and some animal burrows; all showing that this was a forgotten field. Naruto discovered this place while looking through the Hokage's old scrolls. As soon as they arrived, they went to work setting up the pre-planned course.

"It's beautiful!" Naruto exclaimed, anxious to try it out.

At the start of the large course, were two feet tall wide posts, which were roughly the size of there feet, all aligned diagonally. Next was some rope hanging from the tall tree branches, sorta like vines George of the Jungle would swing on. After a good series of those snake-like-ropes, There was a structure similar to low monkey bars, except it was made from ninja wire and sticks. It was extremely low to the ground, so that only those whom crawled would be able to pass under it.

After passing the 15 feet long, three feet wide structure we get to the deep flowerpots, all bunch up and set around in four long rows. The objective of this was to get past the field, either balancing on the rims or getting your foot stuck in the deep pots. The quickest way seemed to be the rims. After three yards of that, we cross a small lake, with tree branches overhanging it; they were about one to two feet from each other. That stretched to about three meters.

After that, there were few ropes leaning from the last branch that overhang the lake. It went down to the edge of the water. After that, there was a nice pit ahead, in which getting across required swinging from the overhanging ropes. It wasn't a very deep one, just about three feet deep, four meters long. After that, there was a path semicircular path, an ark, like those that people put on there gardens on there walkways. Finally, there was Shikamaru, already looking up at the clouds. The route was wide, long, and circular, all in the seeing range of the lazy Nara, so he could call out the cheaters. Not that anyone believes any one would cheat; it was just by habit they made it cheater-safe.

"All right, this is how this troublesome event will take place." The Nara called lazily, "First, you all will run on top of those troublesome posts. If you fall, you will have to start over from the beginning. After you leave the posts, you no long have to start from the beginning if you fall from your place. Then, you swing along those troublesome ropes. After you pass that, you will have to crawl under the troublesome ropes over there, no over, no around, under the ropes. Then you have to go across the field of troublesome flowerpots. I don't care how you cross them; you just have to cross them, no going around or over them. Next," He yawned lazily, "you have to get across the troublesome lake by climbing the tree, and leaping from branch to branch. There pretty close together, so no problem there. Then you slide down the trouble some rope and swing over the pit, run under the arch, and repeat the troublesome thing three times. The first one to lap around three times wins." He finished.

"AND" Naruto spoke up, which got the Nara to roll his eyes.

"Fine, and if you fall from a spot, besides the first spot, you have to go back five feet and go over it the proper way. No running ahead. For instance, you fall from the ropes, you go back five feet, get back on the ropes, and swing the rest of the way. Happy now, you troublesome people." He finished.

"Let's break in this course!" Naruto yelled excitingly.

"Prepare to lose!" Kiba announced.

"Ha! Don't get to cocky dog-boy." Naruto countered.

"Please! I have better chance than you Mr. Orange." Kiba shot back.

"Says the one who goes around in depressing gray." Naruto said.

"At least I'm dressed for stealth! Unlike your outfit which yells "I'm Here!"" He argued.

"I don't need to hide from danger like you and your 'stealth'."

"I don't hide from danger, I just do things the smart way."

"Who says your smarter than me!"

"Your grades do." Kiba said smugly. That hit a nerve.

"At least I don't smell like wet dog all the time." Naruto countered. Kiba's nerve was hit.

"Dunce!"

"Dog-worshipper!"

"Ramen obsessed freak!"

"CUT OUT THE FIGHTING!" Choji yelled, breaking the two up. There normally nice, friendly, social, BB-Q loving friends' ferocity made them both freeze up.

"The conflict you two have will be solved in the race." Shino said in a reserved manner.

"L-lets start the r-race now." Hinata added her opinion.

"Yeah! LETS DO THIS!!" Naruto and Kiba then said in accord, with renewed vigor at the thought of a race starting.

"Alright, line up on the troublesome yellow line." Shikamaru yawned, pointing to the yellow strip of paint that signaled the start of the race. The others complied.

"On your troublesome mark." He said, everyone's bodies tensed as they anticipating running.

"Get your troublesome selves ready." He yawned. There legs twitched, loaded up like rockets, ready to blast-off any second.

"Yourallidiots-GO!" He yelled out, his insult overtaken by the start of the race.

They all hopped along the posts easily. Naruto and Kiba in the lead. Shino coming up next, then Hinata, and of coarse Choji. Ahead of them all, just because he could be, was Akamaru.

"Your going down!" Kiba yelled at the blond, keeping eye on his next post.

"After you!" Naruto called, trying to gain lead.

Electricity passed between there eyes as they glared at each other.

Soon enough they reached the ropes, Naruto and Kiba instantly started swinging, arguing and glaring all the while. Kiba gained lead on Naruto, who was having more difficulty swinging than him. He laughed as he left him behind to crawl under the wires.

"Not so fast now are ya!" He called out. Naruto soon was crawling under there with him. "I'm headed up." He called. To this the Inuzuka laughed and went further ahead.

Kiba stayed in lead until they reached the flower-pots. He tried walking on the rims, but his balance was off, thus, fell into the deep pot. Climbing out, cursing as time was wasting he quickly started carefully, yet clumsily edging around the rims. Naruto, who had excellent balance because of sword training, found this part easier than Kiba. He first few times he fell in, causing him to loose more time. Then he considered the placing of the pots.

He smiled evilly. Getting on the rims, he began to go through a sword dance he learned earlier that month. This allowed him to gain lead with out stumbling once.

"Now look whose slow." He said, passing up the frustrated Kiba. He growled, and picked up pace.

"Naruto leaped off the pots first. He immediately went on climbing the tree. Kiba eventually caught up with him, being faster at climbing trees, until they were neck and neck, jumping from branch to branch. They both slid down the ropes in unison, and were once more, swinging across the ropes. Here, Kiba gained lead again.

"Give up Naruto!" Kiba yelled to him, " No way I'm letting you win!"

"Yeah sure!" You think I would just let you win like that! Be aware Kiba!" With that They jumped off the ropes one after another. Naruto caught up with Kiba in the run towards the arch.

"I" Naruto said, straining his body to best Kiba.

"Must" Kiba said, trying to get lead once more.

"Beat" Naruto said determined, arc coming into view.

"You!" Naruto yelled at last.

They passed up Shikamaru in blurs, blowing leaves and dust on his face.

"Cough, Cough. Man could they be anymore rude!" He huffed.

He watched them run around the coarse again, trying so hard to best each other. "For sleeping in class Naruto sure packs a lot more than his grades say." He watched him gracefully dace across the pots. "He even has a few surprises." He nodded.

"But the winner of this race is already decided." He said, looking in the winner's circle.

SWOSH!

The two competing boys flew by again, this time Shikamaru protected his face with his shirt. Once the dust settled he watched them circle around once more.

"If only they were to look up from each other."

"Not with how they are involved." A winner said.

"It'll just be less troublesome if they did."

"Yeah, but cut them some slack, at least they try."

"Close-minded is there down-fall."

"I feel sorry for them."

"They'll learn soon."

"Or not."

There conversation was stopped when the two made it past the arc simultaneously.

"I WON!" They shouted, sounded a lot like Ino and Sakura. Painting heavily, they turned to Shikamaru.

"I won didn't I?" Kiba asked.

"Tell dog boy that he lost!" Naruto demanded.

"Well actually, you both lost." Shikamaru shrugged.

"Huh?"

"What do ya mean?"

Both boys looked up and saw Hinata, Choji, Shino and Akamaru staring at them.

"NANI!!" They both yelled together.

"Choji won this one." Shikamaru said casually.

"I was second," Shino announced.

"Th-third." Hinata quietly said.

"How!"

"We were in the lead when this started!"

"Let someone else explain it, too troublesome." To this Choji chuckled.

"Actually, I won first because…"

* * *

"Now I'm sure that in some way that was cheating." Naruto said, walking back through the greenery with his friends.

"Same here." Kiba grumbled.

"Yeah, maybe in other countries, or in a competition where we go up against babies or weaklings…" Shikamaru started off.

"Hey! What are you implying!?" Kiba asked hotly.

"Nothing, nothing to troublesome." Shikamaru said coolly, smirking.

"Next time we'll make you race then." Naruto grumbled.

"Pst, with what incentive?" Shikamaru challenged.

"We'll tell your mother how you sleep in class." Kiba and Naruto said in unison, smirking evilly. Shikamaru paled and stumbled a bit. That set them all laughing.

"Evil, black mailing, troublesome…" He started mumbling.

Soon enough, the strong beams of sun spread over them as they entered the village, no more trees to shade them off. "Well, looks like here's where we part." Naruto said.

"Yeah, I want to hurry up and get in my not-so-troublesome bed." Shikamaru sighed.

"You would." Kiba rolled his eyes.

"Bye"

"Bye"

"This is troublesome but, bye."

"B-bye"

"Bye!"

With there good-byes said, Naruto wandered away, wondering what to do now. He considered starting on that new scroll, pulling his good old friend the prank, eating some ramen…eating ramen…ramen…RAMEN!!

Naruto was instantly running towards the business district part of town, where the famous Ichiraku's was housed.

(Later on that day…)

"Yum that was some good ramen. Now what?" Suddenly, someone spat on him…

(Later on that day…)

"Hahaha! That was a good prank!" Naruto said on a rooftop, trying to get the tears out of his eyes. Spat on the wrong person sucka!" He soon regained himself. "Now what is there to do?"

He peered down and saw a shinobi with a katana strapped on her back. He smiled.

(Later that day…)

**CRACK!CRACK!CRACK! SWOSH! CRASH!!**

Naruto stood panting with a very large tree on the ground, a little way a ways from his special training spot. He smiled, looking at the thick trunk where the tree once stood.

"Wow! And it only took my four dances of the lotuses, one dance of the waterfall and two dances of he vultures.." He sighed. "Guess that old coot was right about those scrolls…not that I'll tell him that."

* * *

"Then you shouldn't talk out-loud." Sarutobi smirked in front of his crystal ball.

* * *

"Hn, I have this strange feeling ojiisan suddenly knows…" Naruto said, scanning the area suddenly for chakra signatures.

"Anyway, time for me to get to a new tree!" He said, bounding to his fourth large tree.

'_Hn, that's interesting…the old man is painting some sort of…seal.' _Thought a eavesdropping blonde as he peered at the Hokage's work. He was hanging upside-down, official Spiderman pose, and hanging from a wire. '_Wonder what that could be for?' _He thought, watching his strokes attentively.

"Naruto, if you must invade my private time at least don't spy." He said suddenly, startling the child. The end result is that Naruto fell from the window, and smack dab on the roof. Sarutobi sighed and shook his head.

"Hey, how'd ya know I was there?" Naruto asked, rubbing the large bump that grew out of his injured, yellow head.

"Well, while you did hide your chakra signature, I could hear your breathing, and your moving, and your clothes, and that wire vibrating as you moved, and the birds you scared away…shall I go on?" He asked, paint-brush in hand, still facing the easel.

"I get the point." He said depressingly. "Anyway…" He spoke up again, happy as can be. He sat himself next to the Hokage, looking at the easel, which held a complicated-looking seal. "What-cha doing?" He asked.

"Making a seal." He replied.

"For what?"

"Holding stuff."

"Holding what?"

"Oh, just some family heirlooms that are too cumbersome to move around by hand."

"How's it worked?"

"Would you like me to teach you how to do a seal?" He sighed, giving him a sidelong glace, pulling the brush from his work. He already knew the answer by the look of eagerness that spread from his eyes through his face.

"Yes!"

"All right. I'm done with this one anyway." He said, putting down his brush, and reaching to get some blank scrolls from his desk. He handed one to Naruto. "Now listen up, these are special scrolls. If you write on them…" He illustrated by writing his signature on the scroll. "You can clear them out and write fresh. Perfect for practice." He said, now putting some chakra in the scroll, and the writing dissipated.

"Cool!"

"Okay, I'll teach you how to write a basic storage scroll. Wont hold anything too big, but can hold an awful lot, maybe those kunai you gathered a while back." He said, eying him. Naruto sheepishly rubbed his head.

"Oh…uh…yeah."

* * *

With that the hokage taught him how to create and use a storage scroll.

Naruto looked at his now empty clearing. He smiled. Two scrolls sat in the middle of it. He really put use to the Hokage's lesson. He immediately came here to store all his kunai, once he mastered it. Then the shiruken, then the other weapons which he'll never use, then the swords, then the wires, then the camouflaged blankets, then his sleeping supplies, then…well you get the point.

He even sealed all the empty scrolls, and sealed all the other scrolls into one scroll. Now he had two, convenient scrolls. Once was for practice, the other held all his supplies. Excluding the one under the tree trunk with his sleeping supplies.

He then pushed those two under there. The hokage also showed him how to make it so that only he could open the scrolls to retrieve stuff. That was a good trait.

"Wow, never thought this place would be empty again." He said to himself, looking around his favorite spot, which was previously dirtier than his under-used apartment. He saw the willows blow freely in the wind, Sakura petals blowing into the clearing, making its way to the lake. Those that landed were boated across as wind gently pushed them in the water. Light fluffy clouds and thin wisps of clouds decorated the deep blue sky. It looked like something you might find in a resort brochure.

"Time for more time with the sword-training." He said, walking into a patch of woods that he set aside for such. It wasn't far from his clearing; just out-side of it. Here he was surrounded by tall, thick trees. The trees hung branches over taken by multiple shades of green. In some cases, it looked as if trees shared branches. Naruto took time to find the dead or sickly looking trees, which were plentiful in this area, and cut them down branch by branch, piece by piece, to practicing with his sword. The final sets of dances were always dedicated to cutting the tree down.

In this manner, he has taken down five decayed trees. He planned to use them for firewood, when he went to sleep in his clearing. He was also going to try and carving a few things. No reason in particular why that came up, he just thought of trying it eventually. Who knows, maybe that trait will come in handy one day.

* * *

**AN: **Ah, another chappie done. I hope it doesn't feel to choppy, if it does, please tell me. I felt comfortable enough with it to publish, even thought I am positive I have enough grammatical and spelling errors to make my English teacher give me an 'F'.

Sorry for the long delay in the updates. Dumb computer virus has to ruin my progress. Please forgive me for such long wait.

Besides that, Naruto is learning the sword now! W00t! He is also learning about how to use seals, which I will, yes this is a spoiler, base my next chapter on. Wait….wait…yeah alright, next chapter on him learning that, and the chapter after that will be about…like I would tell you that already.

Thanks to all those who reviewed so far, and especially those who informed me of my errors. I will fix those errors, if I haven't already changed them, as soon as I get the chance. Sorry for me taking so long to thank you all for this. I would include names but the computer I am on doesn't have the net, and when I get on the net I only have about fifteen minutes. Sorry, but that time goes to homework.

Please keep reading and reviewing! For I am a narcissist who loves praise, and will try my best to get that praise! I am also lazy, but that's another story.

Thanks for reading this long, boring analogue. I appreciate your time and consideration. (Sounds all formal.) Hope to update soon.

Konbanwa;

Littlemoontiger.


	10. Chapter 10: Advanced Genjutsu and a long

Chapter 10: Advanced genjutsu and a long, long, punishment

**Chapter 10: Advanced genjutsu and a long, long, punishment. **

**Disclaimer: **When I own Naruto, I'll stop being an alcoholic. mmmm….beer.

**Important AN**: My dear readers, if you have read up to this far before the 6/16/08, then it is my responsibility to let you know that I went back in the story and changed a few things, fixed up some of the more obvious grammar errors, and switched some events around.

1) At the beginning of the year, Naruto's class starts out with 33 students, not 9.

2) Now the hokage henges into a young jonin named Hayai, and sneaks away with Naruto to get out of his work, leaving behind a shadow clone. The only people who know 'Hayai' is actually the hokage is Iruka-sensei, Techui and Ayami, the chefs that work at Ichiraku's.

3) Naruto and Ayami have a close friend-ship, they see each other as siblings and often plays volleyball. In this story Ayami is 13.

4) My grammar always sucked, I always had trouble with it in school, and never really understood all the rules, but I revised it as much as I could. If the grammar is still all that bad then I will go back and try to fix it up again, but I need to know exactly _what _I am doing wrong.

* * *

"Release!" Naruto called out, resulting in a cloud of smoke coming into existence, when it cleared, it showed the sword Naruto used so often.

"Huh, guess I'll have to try that again." He formed three hand signs. "Seal!" With another poof, the weapon was gone.

Naruto was practicing in his favorite spot, summoning and sealing his sword. His goal; to do so discreetly. In order to do that he must get rid of the tell-tell puff of smoke. That; comes with skill, and skill comes with practice.

What had started him in doing this; why our favorite hokage. The reason behind this exercise was to help him increase his chakra control. The cloud of smoke was a result of excess chakra. The reason Naruto was having such a hard time in fixing his problem was because Sarutobi didn't tell him exactly how to solve the problem.

FLASHBACK

"Ojiisan, can I get my next scroll now?" A bored Naruto asked, causing the hokage to look up from his paper-work, his smoking pipe hanging in his mouth, long skinny white translucent smoke steadily arose. .

"Not yet, first you must master something else." He stated. At Naruto's attentive gaze he continued. "When you seal and release your weapons and other items, you cause a puff of smoke to appear. That; you must get rid of."

"Why?" He asked, tipping his head to the side. Personally, he rather liked the smoke, it marked success.

"Because in certain situations stealth is the key, and if you try to seal or unseal stuff with that puff of smoke, then you throw stealth out the window." He took a puff from his pipe, sending a ring into the air. "Besides, what's a hokage that can't even be stealthy?" That started the fire in the boy's eyes.

"How do I do it?!" Naruto asked, well he more of stated.

"That is what you must find out." Sarutobi smirked.

"I knew there was a catch." He snapped his fingers, pouting. "Why can't you just tell me?" He pleaded.

"Well, first you need practice in figuring things out for yourself; second, you won't always be told how to do something in the future. All good shinobi, especially the hokage has good reasoning skills, and can figure out solutions to such problems." Naruto frowned.

"Well, I guess your right, but still; can't you give me a clue?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"Hn…no. Sorry, but any clue I give you will give away the solution. I advise that you just are attentive to what you are doing." He shrugged.

"But ojii-"

"Hey; it's time you learn how to look underneath the underneath." He said with finality. Naruto knew that the discussion was over when he returned to his job.

"I don't know how I will be able to do this, but I will figure it out." He muttered, put off by how Sarutobi wouldn't even give him a hint. "You just wait and see!" He shouted, leaping out the window to his favorite spot.

END FLASHBACK

Naruto failed once more, to decrease the puff of smoke. In-fact, it still looked just as big as when he started. The good thing about this was that he was faster at the hand-signs than ever before. Yet he didn't notice that. If he did, then he probably wouldn't look so frustrated now.

'_Why can't this work! I practice and practice, and nothing changes!' _He took a deep breath, re-sealed his items, put them up, and stood up to stretch. "I'll take a break and come back to it later then. They always say attack a problem with a fresh mind." He looked at the sun's position. "Oh, its time for me to go on my info-gathering special mission!" He said, scampering away.

* * *

Cunning little fellow, our ramen-loving character is.

Normally; he has to watch training at a distance. While he did get good watching, it just didn't equate to watching up close and personal. What did our little fellow do to solve this problem? Why he henged into a genuine spider, the black widow. From there, he hid in a knot-hole of a tree; up close and personal to the fight. He smiled as he watched the taijutsu fight before him, between an Uchiha sensei, and a Hyuuga gakusei. Both of them used taijutsu. This was a special fight, because it was his first time witnessing the Hyuuga style; excluding when they attacked him. That wasn't a fight, that was a brutal beat-down.

As it turns out, hiding his chakra signature creates a better henge because it practically forces you to only use the necessary amount. It was tricky for him to use both at once, because his control was always bad, but after a while he got the hang of it. He learned that to better hide his chakra signature with out loosing the ability to cast jutsu was to draw in chakra from the surrounding environment. He also learned of a way to change his chakra signature by reforming his chakra passage-ways in henges. It worked quite well to make an almost flawless henge. Still had some kinks to work out. Like if he changes his chakra pathways that also could hamper his ability to perform jutsus or use certain body parts. But that was something he was going to save for later.

He observed as the Hyuuga used the infamous gentle fist. His eyes widened in realization that there style was actually pretty simple for the most part. He knew that they sealed of tenketsu, but now it was obvious that they used chakra to do so, which explains how when he was attacked even though the hits themselves didn't hurt, why it was so painful. The answer was so simple that he wanted to smack himself for not knowing before.

The not so simple part was the eyes. He knew he couldn't develop a way to see tenketsu, that stayed strictly within that bloodline. But cutting them off, however, was doable. Now that he thought about it, he wondered if there _was _a way for him to see or identify tenketsu.

The Uchiha used the regular Uchiha style he's seen so much. He knows mostly all there original taijutsu, and altered a lot of it to make them his own. Since Uchiha's copy other's movements, he still gains a lot from watching and copying there copied techniques. He even snuck into the compound a few times to borrow scrolls that documented all there taijutsu. He also took some about their ninjutsu; apparently, that clan was fire originated. He mastered most of there genjutsu. They really didn't have much available in ninjutsu that wasn't overtaken by mass amounts of seals and other means of security. Apparently they were up-tight about there ninjutsu. Not that it mattered, he discovered a way to overlook almost all there defenses. Only five to go until he completely got pass all the defenses.

The greatest clan; Uchiha infiltrated by an eight year-old, the worst child in the village. How ironic. In truth, Naruto wouldn't have it out for them if it weren't for the birthday months they came and beat him up on. Truthfully, every October the whole village tries to kill him. The Uchiha and Hyuuga clans specifically. You would think that he would hate them through and through for such events. He didn't hold a grudge long though. He knew that he couldn't blame anyone for what happened to him. He still doesn't know why the village hates him so, but he knew if he hated them he would not be any better than them himself.

So instead he simply takes revenge. They beat him, he steals there secrets for himself, use them for prank subjects, and learn how to fight from them. It was a pretty fair deal as far as he was concerned.

He was always careful to make sure the exact people who attack him get pranked in return. They don't know but he remembers faces quite well. Plus he was learning how to identify chakra signatures. Any normal person probably wouldn't be able to handle buying from the same people who try and kill them before as coolly as he did. Then again, if it weren't for the pranks he wouldn't be able to do such either.

Naruto smiled as the two ended there training for the day. Time for him to practice. Crawling out, he made his escape.

* * *

"Ha! I mastered it! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Now you HAVE to give me that new scroll you said!" An over excited Naruto yelled, bouncing off all the walls, and running around in an excited frenzy.

"Ah, I see you figured it out." He nodded, same cool expression he always wears.

"Yeah, it was pretty simple once I got your clue." He smiled, jumping off the ceiling and onto his desk. "You see…"

FLASHBACK

Puff

"WHY cant I get this to work!" An extremely frustrated Naruto shouted, throwing a rock at a tree, which deeply imbedded itself into the trunk.

"Alright, get a hold of yourself!" He said suddenly. "Gotta get some more control. Control, control, control, wait…control?" A flashback went through his head.

2nd FLASHBACK

…"_Well, first you need practice in figuring things out for yourself; second, you won't always be told how to do something in the future. All good shinobi, especially the hokage has good reasoning skills, and can figure out solutions to such problems." Naruto frowned. _

"_Well, I guess your right, but still; can't you give me a clue?" Naruto asked hopefully. _

"_Hn…no. Sorry, but any clue I give you will give away the solution. I advise that you just are attentive to what you are doing." He shrugged. _

"_But ojii-"_

"_Hey; it's time you learn how to look underneath the underneath." He said with finality. Naruto knew that the discussion was over when he returned to his job. _

"_I don't know how I will be able to do this, but I will figure it out." He muttered, put off by how Sarutobi wouldn't even give him a hint. "You just wait and see!" He shouted, leaping out the window to his favorite spot. _

END 2nd FLASHBACK

"What am I doing?" he thought, once more releasing his weapon from the scroll, except this time paying good attention to exactly what was happening. He noticed that he overflowed the scroll, used more chakra than needed.

"What happens if I get rid of the extra?" he asked, experimenting. He was energized when the smoke cloud was reduced to a thin wisp.

END FLASHBACK

"And then I took off from there! Now I seal and unseal with out as much as a cloud!!" He did a back flip off the desk, bounced from the walls, and landed on the Hokage's back. "SO do I get ht scroll now Ojiisan! Do I, do I, do I, do I, do I?

"Yes as agreed, you get the scroll. He said calmly, his calm demeanor never slipped. Though he was smirking a bit. He handed the excited boy the scroll. He climbed off the chair, and grew a smile so big that it beat the sun in size.

"Thanks!!" He yelled, bounding to the window.

"Oh and Naruto, that white stuff wasn't sugar." He called.

"Huh?" He said, looking completely confused. The hokage laughed.

"Nothing, just go on." He smiled at him. Naruto, feeling that he was missing something continued on his way.

"What white stuff?" he thought to himself as he slipped through the greenery.

* * *

"Interesting." Mr. Sunny head said to himself as he read a borrowed scroll from the Uchiha compound. That last scroll from five days ago gave him the idea needed to get around those final defenses to the restricted library. Naturally, he gathered all the scrolls and books, sealed them up, and are now reading them.

Peculiarly; that library held more info on seals than ninjutsu. That was weird, because he has never seen an Uchiha used any but the basic, common seals. He wasn't complaining though. The less they used the less chance they have of realizing all there scrolls and books are missing.

Naruto set the scroll next to a blank one, grabbed his brush, and copied the seal precisely. As it turns out, he has a knack for drawing seals once he got used to it.

"Now if I did this right…" He thought, releasing his new seal; a canteen of water popped into existence; without the cloud. He smiled, and drank the water, then he inscribed the formula on another scroll, and cleared his practice one.

* * *

"Twelve down, 256 to go." He smiled.

* * *

"30 down, 238 to go." Yawned an exhausted Naruto. "But I'll save that for tomorrow"

* * *

"58 down, 210 to go!" Said an energized blond.

* * *

"70 down." Naruto then slurped his tenth bowl that day. "198 to go." He exclaimed, slamming down the money and running to continue his training.

* * *

"Come on clock, go faster." Naruto tried to edge on the clock. It was after lunch in the academy, and he was trying his best to be patient. "I have 132 down and 136 to go"

* * *

"HAHAHAHA!" Naruto laughed as he pulled off a prank. "Boy that was entertaining. Now I must get going, I have 168 down and 100 to go."

* * *

"That was an informative lesson." Naruto nodded, coming out of his hiding spot as the people training just left. "But, have to finish those scrolls; I have 200 down and 68 to go."

* * *

Naruto slammed his apartment door shut, panting. "dang those mobs, delaying me from my task." He moved to the back window, paying no attention to the mob that was pounding on his door. Jumping out he said, "250 down, 18 to go."

* * *

"HA! I AM DONE WITH ALL 268 SCROLLS!! A very happy blond exclaimed as he leaped around the clearing. "Time for the books." He smiled, readying his brush.

* * *

"Mastered the sword scroll, mastered a bunch of seals, learned seven genjutsu, but not very well at them yet, and returned all the stuff I borrowed. Wow, what an exciting month." He smiled, looking up into the clouds. Never thought you see him doing that! "But I'm missing something…I learned a lot, ate plenty of ramen…Ah! I didn't pull a good prank!" He shot up. He immediately began to scheme his prank.

* * *

"HOKAGE-SAMA! WERE BEING ATTACKED!" A panicked ANBU ran into the room. The hokage immediately stood up from his reports.

"What's going on!" He demanded

"Trees are taking over!!" He yelled Sarutobi was immediately standing in the window seal. His eyes widened as he saw trees were raining from the sky, and over-growing all the streets. The ones that rained from the sky latched on to the buildings, and there roots spread out over them, crushing the buildings. The branches were swinging madly, sending giant leaves into the surrounding structures, annihilating those as well. They were destroying everything, all the shinobi and quite a few villagers were in a panic. The few that weren't running around in panic looked quite confused. The hokage instantly knew what was going on.

The people and shinobi in panic all had something to do with ill-treating Naruto in the past. He recognized a lot of them. The ones that weren't either treated him nice, were children,-besides the ones that bullied him before-, the elderly (at least he spared them, even though they are the ones who caused most of the hatred.), and all the tourists.

He watched as trees literally destroyed the place. Even the Hyuuga and Uchiha were in panic. That was a concern. That meant Naruto managed to get them to believe this genjutsu, and there bloodlines are supposed to see through such. He sighed, watching the mayhem. He performed a few hand signs.

"RELEASE!" He shouted. Originating from him, waves of chakra slowly radiated through the air, dispersing the genjutsu as it went. Sarutobi frowned. The slow rate it was traveling meant that this was an extremely strong genjutsu. He immediately moved from the tower to start on disabling it elsewhere.

MEANWHILE

Naruto was laughing like a maniac from on top of the hokage monument. All through the month those people have been mobbing him. This revenge was for them. He stopped laughing as he saw Sarutobi dispersing the prank. He panicked; when the hokage has to step in and do something it was never a good thing. He instantly released the whole thing. It was gone in a second. Quickly, he stole into the greenery, looking for a spot to hide in.

He knew better than to hide in his personalized training grounds. That would make as much sense as hiding under Sarutobi's desk. He looked back, getting the weird feeling he was being followed.

SMACK!

He ran right into something. He looked up into the furious Hokage's face.

* * *

Naruto gulped as the hokage gave him a stern look. He knew he was in trouble. They were, as of the moment, at the Hokage's home. He sat in the large bedroom, on the chair of the expansive desk.

"Naruto, you know how much deep water you are in right now." The hokage ground out. Naruto slowly nodded. "I don't think you do. The entire council has some suspicion that you had something to do with this. If they get even the slightest clue that you had something to do with it they are willing to throw you out of the academy and prevent you from becoming a shinobi period. Plus they want to put seals on you that prevent you from using chakra. That's why I am talking to you here instead of my office."

Naruto paled in his seat. "It wasn't that serious-"

"Yes it was! You caused a state of emergency. Everyone literally thought the village was being attacked. Do you realize what this could mean for you if they find out _you _caused this? An eight year-old boy? What's worse council wants to make it so you have no possibility of being a shinobi." Naruto looked terrified now.

"but-"

"No butts!" He yelled over him. "You endangered many people with your stunt. I have it in mind to turn you in myself." Naruto looked like he was about to die right then and there.

"But I won't." That caused the blond to relax a bit. "Instead, I am going to ban you from training for four months."

"Four months…"

"Better than your whole life." He frowned at him. "The whole reason nobody can blame you is because your grades in the academy. They say you're a failing student. Especially since you can't even form a bushin." Naruto reddened at that. "Your lucky Iruka vouched for you and said you were a horrible student, that was hard to get stuff into your head. He also said you were a step short of hopeless in the field of genjutsu." He sighed "If it weren't for that…you'll be in trouble."

"So I have to go four months with out training." He sighed.

"That's not all. You also are banned from leaving the civilized parts of the village, and performing any action that has anything to do with being a shinobi." Naruto palled. "If you break these restrictions I will catch you, and make sure you'll never be a shinobi." He gave him a hard look. "Do you understand?"

"Yes ojiisan."

"Good." He nodded. He walked over to the blond, and put his hands on his shoulder. "Seal!"

"huh?" Naruto questioned, not knowing what just happened. He noticed he began to feel a little dizzy.

"I just restricted your chakra flow. Now you can't perform any jutsu besides the henge; on a much smaller scale, and your taijutsu." He said. "I decided to leave those because I know how those villagers get." He sighed. Naruto nodded in understanding.

"Thanks ojiisan." He said, in a much more passive voice than ever used before.

"Your welcome." He smiled. "Also, you're not allowed to prank anything." Naruto's face dropped.

"Dang it!" He muttered.

"Now let's go get some ramen shall we." He said, enjoying the look on his face when he banned pranks. He looked a happier at mention of ramen.

'_At least my ramen is safe.' _He thought to himself.

"Oh and I almost forgot, you are not allowed to ramen unless Iruka or myself provides it, if you do sneak some, then you are banned from ramen for as long as I am living."

"Not my RAMEN" He said desperately, now clinging from his robes. "ANYTHING but THAT!" He pleaded.

"You better enjoy this batch then." He said, walking out the door. He smirked as he herd Naruto mutter something about "stupid, tempting, useless pranks."

* * *

"Forbidden?" Naruto asked. This time from his apartment.

"Yes, you are never to tell anyone or teach anyone that jutsu." Sarutobi answered. It was day one of his punishment.

"Why?" Naruto asked. "It was just a simple genjutsu."

"No it wasn't. A simple genjutsu would have never covered that much area, wouldn't have tricked the Hyuuga, Uchiha, and genjutsu specialists, and wouldn't have been so stubborn to disperse when I tried to lift it." He said firmly.

"Well it was pretty simple to make." Naruto pouted

"Exactly, this is why you must never, ever, show anyone that! Be especially careful of the Uchiha." He said with finality. "You created a very advanced genjutsu." He said. "I am rating it as an S-rank genjutsu, to be kept under wraps by all means."

The hokage was not lying. He just had Naruto show him how he performed it, and was amazed at how complicated it was. Of coarse Naruto thought it was simple, because he created it off the top of his mind, knows it through and through. He had to admit, personally, he couldn't have pulled something so large scale off for so long, and still have energy to burn. Plus the fact that Naruto could single out who he wanted it to hit. That was an extremely hard thing to do.

"If this information falls into the wrong hands, then were all in trouble." He said. Naruto could tell that this was a serious matter. Despite that, he was wearing a large grin. "I know your excited that you created a new jutsu, one so powerful at that. Yet it will mean nothing if it's used for evil." The child nodded eagerly.

"Right! I won't use it at all!" He exclaimed. "Except for when it's really needed." He gave him his signature foxy grin. "That's a promise!"

Sarutobi smiled. "I believe you. Now I must get back to my work." With that, he shushined away; leaving one lone leaf.

* * *

The day really sucks when everything you used to do in your spare time has been restricted. He sighed; he never even got to use his most recent seals. He came in early to the academy, very early, for the simple fact that there was nothing else to do. Plus travel was safer when everyone who wants to kill you is sleeping.

He was so bored, that he was actually reading the text-book. Something he hasn't really paid no mind to do in so long. He read it from the beginning and was currently on the last page.

"Never thought I would willingly read that all the way through." He said, pushing the book to the side. "Now what?" He slouched in his chair. The clock read 5:45. School doesn't start until 8:00. Yeah, when I said he came early, he came _really _early. Normally he would be sound asleep right now, resting from the day's difficult training. But since he couldn't do that, he had energy to burn. A lot of energy to burn.

"Can't train." He said to himself, leaving the school through the window. "So I'll find something I can do!"

LATER ON…

Sewing class.

There was nothing going on that morning but a sewing class. Naruto went throughout the village. Everyone was sleeping, partying at some night club, cleaning up, or attending this ridiculously early sewing class.

Naruto; being bored beyond belief, henged into a girl and is attending it. It was 6:15 now.

'_Why in the world did I come here! This is what happens when I have no ramen! I'll get that old man for this later.' _He thought to himself, twitching at the _pink _fabric the teacher gave him. He was supposed to make a _pink _throw pillow; using _pink _out of all colors.

'_Alright, maybe I did come here because most of my clothes are filled with holes from my training. But now I'm wondering if I just should have brought some new ones and been over with it.'_

"Anything wrong Nashi?" The sewing instructor; Aoi asked. She was a plump lady, with shiny gray hair that was in a loose bun on her head. Her face was wrinkled, but always smiled at a person; her eyes were brown, and very wise. Strands of gray hair fell from her bun and framed her face. She wore a dark blue old-style kimono. All in all, she looked like an antique, or someone that came from the past. They were in an old-style room too, with a large cedar wood floor, and the walls decorated with old paintings and such. Also there was a rice paper door. The only things that looked like they were from this century were the lights, pile of fabrics, hand sewing kits, and sewing machines.

"Uh…well, I was wondering if I could get another kind of fabric…like blue, or black?" She who is a he said. 'Nashi' responded quietly and slowly, not exactly comfortable in his/her position.

"Sure, but that is a pretty pink, goes with your eyes and hair." 'Nashi' had to curse himself for making his eyes and hair dark brown.

"What about this?" Aoi asked, holding up a dark blue fabric with black strips.

"Perfect!" she/he was only too excited to give up the pink fabric.

"Now you face the two outsides to each other, and start sewing from the inside-out. That way, when you turn it the right-way-out the stitches doesn't show." She said, with a weirdly powerful voice for someone who looked so old.

'Nashi' complied, along with the other real women.

* * *

"Wow you really catch on fast don't you!" Aoi complemented, studying 'Nashi's' throw pillow.

"I think you're ready to make your own cloths!" She smiled. Nashi at this point was feeling weird because all the women were smiling at him. He actually began to panic a bit. Aoi, feeling his/her distress, counted it as her being shy, and quickly brought the attention to someone else.

"Ah! Nina what a cute pillow! I take it that it's for your new baby sister?" She turned to another young lady.

'_Man that felt weird.' _He thought, glad the attention was off of him. He was so used to glares and death threats from these people. Getting praised by them, that was just too weird. '_Although I kinda liked it.' _He added as an after thought. Feeling accepted was a much better feeling than being an out-cast. Even though he wasn't planning on attending this class again.

* * *

"First you get a main color, and gather colors that complement that." Aoi instructed, as the class picked out colors to use to make a outfit.

'_Alright, even though I said I wasn't going to do this again, she offered to help make our own clothes! I mean there's nothing else to do; and I could only benefit from having a new outfit.' _Naruto thought to his self, convinced that those were good reasons for coming once more.

Nashi choose a black cotton fabric, reddish-orange fabric, and a dark green fabric. Even though he couldn't train, he could still make the out-fit he was going to use for future training.

"Ah, what interesting colors you chose. What do you plan on making." Aoi asked.

"Oh, um an out-fit for my brother. He's going to be a ninja." She said the first thing from the top of her head.

"How sweet! Nothing compares to sibling love! How old is he?" She asked, exercising her right as a teacher to be snoopy. (AN: All my teachers are snoopy for some reason! Its like they want to know everything in my life!)

"Uh, my age, were twins." He said. That seemed like the best answer to use, since the outfit would be made for his size.

"Really, you must bring him in sometime!" She smiled.

" I would like to but he doesn't live here. My father took him on a trip to see all the different countries with him. He's a merchant."

"Wow! You have a really interesting life. Why didn't you go?"

"I really wasn't up for travel when they left out."

"Poor dear, well then do you know when he'll be back?"

"Not really, just sometime after the next four months." She said.

"Well then we'll have to make the outfit a couple of sizes bigger then. So that way he cant fit with growing room to spare." She smiled kindly.

"It has to be tough too! And flexible, you know something a ninja can use for a long time."

"Yes, yes, of course. I know about that, my husband and I were shinobi too." That caused the blon- ahem brunets eyes to widen.

"Really! I never would have guessed." She said, interest found.

"Yep, I made it all the way to jonin, my husband was ANBU." Aoi said proudly, glad that she managed to spark conversation with the 'girl.'

"I bet you two worked hard huh? Did you ever teach any body?"

"Yes and yes. It was difficult for me especially because I didn't have much chakra control back then. Also, I was quite the trouble-maker. I liked to lead, and was an attention hog. Hot headed and all." She chuckled.

"I can't believe it! Aoi-sensei, a troublemaker!"

"Yes it's true!" She laughed. "I was a bossy, loud, know-it-all. Always went head-strong in battles, didn't use strategy, planning, stealth, just ran ahead and tried to handle things myself." She sighed. "But I ended up in the hospital all the time, and was always the one to caused our missions to end in failure-I was not a very promising Kunoichi, until I changed."

"What changed?"

"Well, one-day, after my sensei had a meeting with my parents, my mother plopped me with her in her sewing room for a talk." She got a far off look in her eyes.

FLASHBACK

"Mom! Why am I here, I need to train and get stronger!" An energized Aoi said, her hair was short and dirty blond.

"Now Aoi, you just got back from the hospital, you are in no shape to start 'training.'"

"Well what else is there to do!" Aoi said exasperated.

"Sew."

"Huh?"

"Sewing is good practice, it requires skill, a sharp mind, and patients." Said the elderly woman, as she pushed a brown lock out of her face. She handed Aoi a needle. "Besides, its time for you to get new clothes."

"Cant I just buy them?" She pleaded.

"Ha! Heavens no, that's too plain, ordinary. It's much better to have a one of a kind outfit, plus it will be made to fit your needs." She informed wisely

"What needs? Clothes are just cloths aren't they?" Aoi asked, now confused.

"My little Aoi; think of it this way. What properties of clothes do you need most as a Kunoichi?"

"Well, now that you put it that way, I guess I would need…Oh, flexibility, and it has to be comfortable, and quiet, oh and tough, it has to last through all the running and fights, and cant tear easily, and I need it to camouflage, and...Uh…it has to keep me cool; especially when I'm fighting, and it can't be heavy." She finished, smiling at all the things she listed.

"See, if you make the clothes, then you can control all those properties, and know how to use them to your advantage." She smiled.

"What's first? It's so much to think about." Aoi asked.

"Well, first you have to know about the type of fabric your using. That way you can take advantage of its properties. Then you decide on the color, stealth, and next you have to plan how it will look…" Aoi sat and attentively listened.

END FLASHBACK

"After that lesson, I realized that sewing could be applied to everything." She smiled. "As a shinobi, we must know a little bit about what we are dealing with, so that we can take advantage of that. We also must plan what we are doing. Pair up our strengths and weaknesses to what ever we are handling to have better results. Patients is key in any operation, plus we must have a since of organization." She finished.

"Wow! I never thought of it that way. That is useful information." Nashi smiled.

"So your in training to become a Kunoichi? I guess as much."

"How'd you know?" S/he asked.

"You should have seen the look on your face when I handed you that pink fabric! Plus you seemed more interested in the fact that I was once a Shinobi than all else." She said.

"Yeah, But I am not very good yet. Do you have any pointers?" Nashi asked hopefully.

"Well, what do you need help with?" Aoi asked, as Nashi began to draw the outline of her/his outfit.

"You know anything about the art of kenjutsu?" She asked hopefully.

"Personally, no. But my husband was quite the master with the sword. I can tell you with certainty that you should take up a few dance classes. I assure you that what you learn there can be used for kenjutsu." She smiled.

"Really? Well I guess it does make sense. I'll have to try it out then!" S/he sounded happily.

"Another thing you might want to do is practice carving sculptures of things you see. This helps you, along with sewing, with your hand-eye coordination. And it also gives you practice to develop an eye for detail."

"Wow, I never would have guess that ordinary hobbies can be used to help you improve in the shinobi world." She said thoughtfully.

"Believe me it does." She smiled. "Everything you learn you should try and see how you can apply such to different situations. Like if you learn that silt is a mixture of sand and water. If you come across such can you use the water just for water, or use the sand in there for an extra weapon? Let me tell you, sand in the eyes does hurt, and it irritating on the skin."

"So I could use that property to slow my enemy down, or temporarily blind them!" Nashi said, excited now.

"Exactly! Now your thinking." She smiled. "Well, I leave you here to finish that outline, I have to go help the others now.

"O-Kay!" Nashi exclaimed, now having something else to think about.

* * *

"Wow! I just saved a lot of money!" Naruto said proudly, looking at his once raggedy wardrobe. His cloths which were recently in the ever-growing 'throw-away' pile were now in his closet and drawers, repaired and looking as they did when he brought them, if not better.

The irreparable clothing was used for other things. He made a nice purse for Aoi, who mentioned how she needed a new one. It was dark-blue, with two pouches on the outside. It had a long shoulder strap, which was sure to hold strong. The inside was light brown denim. All in all, it was a nice purse. He also made a 'class sleeping kit' for himself. It consisted of a blue and orange chair cushion, and two pillows. One was a regular pillow; it was blue and orange-to match his outfit. This was for his chest, so that when he went to sleep his chest wasn't pressing against that hard edge of the desk. **(AN:** I hate it when that happens!) The second one was smaller and looked like a bowl of beef ramen. That was for his head.

He was also half-way done with his 'twin's' out-fit. Naruto henged into Nashi, grabbed her blueprint, and rushed out the door. It wasn't long before he was at Aoi's.

* * *

"Are you Caelator-sama?" Nashi asked the middle aged, well-built man at the door-way.

"Yes, and who might you be young lady?" He asked.

"I am Nashi. Aoi-sensei said you will be able to teach me the art of carving." She said formally. S/he found that it was interesting changing personalities with different disguises.

"Ah, yes. Aoi-san told me all about you! Come on in, I was just about to start a lesson." He said, moving out the way of the door so that she could come in. She entered to a large room; there five more people were seated at a large circular table. Two were girls, one was an elder, and the other was probably in her early 20's. They looked to be a mother-daughter pair. There were three boys, one that looked to be about a little older than him, the other was in his mid-teens, and the final one was another middle aged man. None looked to be related.

"Take a seat, so we can begin." He coxed. She took the empty seat next to the kid around his age. Instantly the boy was smiling at him/her. Okay, that was weird. "Lets start with introductions. You can call me Caelator-sensei. I am 43, lived in Konoha all my life, and am a professional carver in wood and stone." He said with an air of pride. "How about you go next miss." He said to the lady to the left.

"My name is Certare. Women never tell there age, but I will say that I am a mother of three, this one being the youngest." She said, gesturing to the younger lady. "I am a professional baker, and own the bakery two blocks down from here." She spoke proudly.

"I am Mai; future successor of the bakery along with my sisters. I am 20 years old, and can cook a mean cake!" She spoke happily, and succinctly.

"I am Seki, 37, and I own the Harashi hotel." He said simply. "My friend got me interested in this, so I decided to try it out." He said with a groggy tone.

"Name's Neil, I'm 16, and pushed into this class by my bossy mother. Said I needed a healthy hobby." He shrugged. Obviously not enthusiastic about this.

"I am Saisho. I'm nine years old, and am here to make something special for my mom for her birthday." He shot another smile to Nashi; which made him feel weirdly uncomfortable.

"Uh, I am Nashi, I'm eight and a half. I am training to become a Kunoichi. Aoi sensei recommended me for this class to help me improve my hand-eye coordination and eye for detail." She recited. "I also want to make some cool stuff!" That was the Naruto talking.

"Okay, now that the formalities are over, let's begin!" He said enthusiastically.

* * *

"That's an interesting carving Nashi." Certare said to the young lady. "Can I get a closer look?" She asked. Naruto handed the sculpture to the elder lady. "Ah. You do have a talent in this art!" She exclaimed.

"Agreed." Caelator nodded. "Let me get a closer look." Certare handed the carving to him. "Yes, you catch on quick! But you should engrave lighter marks into the wood. They are easier to change or cover up if you choose to do so. Plus thinner, shallower crevasses give you a better end result.

"Kay Caelator-sensei." Nashi chanted. She grabbed another piece of wood and began carving the sculpture over.

"Nashi chanted. She grabbed another piece of wood and began carving the sculpture over.

"That looks nothing like the Hokage, I know he's old but you made him look like a zombie." Neil spoke disinterested. Naruto had to admit, Neil was right about the zombie part.

"Well, it looks more advanced than your carving off a block of wood." Saisho rolled his eyes.

"Says the boy with the carving of a butchered piece of wood." Neil rolled his eyes.

Saisho got red. "At least I try to make something worth while."

"Well nobody can identify it." Neil said with arrogance. Naruto was irritated with the boy's arrogance

"It's a sculpture of the beach." Nashi said clearly annoyed with the teen. "And it only shows how much skill he has over you." She said coolly. "Thanks for the advice to my own sculpture too.

"That was an insult you-"

"Cut it out you guys! Were not here to put anyone down. This place is open for constructive criticism not insults." Caelator interrupted. Nashi ignored; the glare from Neil and the thankful smile from Saisho. He simply started to redo his sculpture of the Hokage.

* * *

"Wow! That looks like it was made by a professional Nashi!" Saisho complemented.

"Thanks. Yours is good too, I'm sure your mother will love it!" She returned. He had a mini-sculpture of the beach, with him and an older lady who he can only guess was his mother. He smiled big at her.

"You are very talented!" He added. "I bet you are a great student."

"No, not really." He said confused. '_Why is he so…nice. And that smile! I feel like I am missing something.' _

"Really?" a look of disbelief passed over his face. "I never would have known. For the past two weeks we were here you have been nothing short of a good student." He smiled again.

"Thanks." S/he said, feeling uncomfortable now, still trying to figure out why this felt so…weird.

"Aw, young love." He herd Mai whisper to her mother who nodded.

'_Wait…love?' _And that's when realization hit. His jaw fell so hard into the floor.

"How in the he-"

"Now let's start on carving stone!" Caelator announced.

* * *

**AN: Well, I didn't expect this chapter to be so extensively long, so I cut it in half for the sake of my readers. I doubt you would want to sit in front of the screen reading 40 pages written in times new roman size 12 font. So I'll get the rest of the chapter updated in no time!**


	11. Chapter 11: Long punishment pt 2

* * *

Chapter 11: Long, long punishment pt

**Chapter 11: Long, long punishment pt. 2**

**AN: **I don't own Naruto. I really wish I did though.

* * *

"One month gone!" Naruto yelled, before falling into his bed. "Two more to go." He sighed. Looking over, he saw his progress for the past month. Now that he had extra time, he, as mentioned before, renewed his wardrobe. Also, he carved a lot of things. He even carved an image of himself in the Hokage's robes thrice. He gave one to Iruka, one to Sarutobi, and kept one for himself.

His dresser and shelves were littered with sculptures, of birds, animals, shinobi in action, such and so. They were either in stone or wood. A few sculptures were in marble. He now has five new sets of eloquently carved chopsticks, new dishes, and even a new table-actually it was his old table but renovated.

He also took time to refurnish the furniture and repaint the walls, which were damaged in past break-ins. He looked around, the apartment looked nice and clean. Like it was owned by someone else.

He slapped his head down on the pillow, and looked at the ceiling. The only problem with doing a lot; was not having anything left to do. After a couple of minutes contemplating what's left to do; his stomach growled.

"That's it! Thanks stomach!" He popped up, put on his shoes, and ran out the door.

* * *

Now let's go see what Naruto did by the suggestion of his stomach. As we stroll through Konoha, we cross the "Beginner's Culinary School." Coming inside, we see a group of mid to late teens sitting at a large table in a large kitchen. Cutting boards, knives, bowls, measuring cups and spoons, cooking utensils, and a pile of food in the middle.

One teen had long, black hair, which was in a tight low pony tail. He had on mid-night blue short-sleeve shirt and matching cargo pants; these matched his eyes. Along the sides of the out-fit were whips of reddish orange. He wore a reddish-orange vest, which was long like a trench-coat; but had no sleeves. He wore black boots and to top it all off, there was an orange and blue bandanna wrapped around his forehead.

The most peculiar thing was the Tiger on the back of his outfit, which had its jaws around a red, spiral symbol. Looks familiarly like…can you guess? That's right, our Naruto.

"Alright class, I am Tanaka, and this is my wonderful assistant Dawn-san. We will start our cooking lesion with the appetizer; three been soup!" A tall, skinny man in a white chef's outfit said as he walked into the room. His assistant, was a stout woman, well developed and looked to be in the mid-twenties.

"First, and foremost, we will wash our hands, so please come up and do so." Dawn said, gesturing the class to the seven sinks that bordered the wall.

* * *

Hands washed and formalities done, the class was well underway. Naruto decided that this was something to keep coming to. Especially since he couldn't eat ramen like he used to. The three bean soup was good, and so was the Greek-style lamb roast with chick-pea salad and corn-bread-cakes. These were cornbread with whole, juicy, sweet corn kernels baked into it. Desert consisted of a strawberry flan, with roasted ice-cream.

That was an interesting dessert.

After that meal they made a pizza, with garlic-bread crust and herb-seasoned tomato sauce. Mozzarella cheese and many toppings were put on there. As a desert they made cup-cakes, simple, yet sweet.

Then they moved on to making triple-berry pancakes, poached eggs, and an impossibly sweat turkey patty. Also, they made fruit smoothies.

Then there was this marble graduation cake, with lots and lots of layers. Lots and lots of frosting, and lots and lots and lots of chocolate. That took up the whole rest of the day. In the end, the students all left with a large amount of food.

After two weeks of this cooking class, and other cooking classes around Konoha he took advantage of, Naruto was a mad-cooking machine. One time he brought some to the academy for lunch, and shared with his friends. They loved it; and said that the chef who made the food –because he didn't tell them he made it- should be rich. Naruto thought about it, and decided to sell his foods.

So he disguises as a 25 year-old chef, and gets a part-time job at a fancy restaurant. Which, by the way, is where he is now.

"Mieru-san we have five orders of Seafood Delight, one with no shrimp, one with no clams, two with extra salmon and one dry-style!" A waitress shouted to a green-haired, green-eyed tall chef. We all know who this person is.

"Hai! It'll be done in 30, I have that vegetarian pot roast done now!" He called back, sending the food down by one of the assistant chefs.

"Mieru-san! We need seventeen house specials!" Another waitress called.

"All right, be done in 45."

"Mieru-san! Is the Stuffed Italian Turkey done!" A waiter called.

"Yeah, sending it down now." He called back.

"I have that jumbo trombolini finished!" He called, in response a waiter came an took it

"Need creams a la mode now…"

Naruto was scrambling across the kitchen, baking, stirring, roasting, frying all at once. He was one of ten other chefs cooking, all in a mad frenzy like him. Despite the complicated work setting, Naruto rather liked the job. It was challenging, complicated, and always kept him on his feet. No sooner than when he was hired was he put in this strenuous work setting. No problem for Naruto, he's always bounding with energy.

'_This is perfect training for the shinobi life, being able to stay sharp-minded and calm in complicated and confusing situations.' _He thought over the sizzling of the stir-fry below him. '_And it's fun!' _He added. Plopping a heap of steaming rice down on three plates as his assistant spooned in the red-sauce.

"Get that roast out of the oven!" He told his assistant as he ran over and seasoned a pot of spaghetti.

"Hai!" He called back, complying with the command. In an instant they were switching spots, running all around there area of the kitchen.

"Roast for two is done!" He called, as his assistant carried it to the waiter.

'_It's also allows me to meet many new people, and learn a lot of personalities to use when I'm in cognito; like now._' He concluded.

"MIERU!"…

* * *

"All through-out my punishment, I have been good, constructive, and staying out of trouble. So why did the Hokage send a trio of ANBU to get me?" Naruto thought, walking in the center of the ANBU.

"I haven't a clue. Maybe he thought you might pull a prank and cause trouble like you normally do." One of them said with malice, not liking there charge.

"Hey, I haven't pulled prank in ages." He defended, ignoring the hate-filled voice. '_Not counting the one that got me on this punishment.' _

"Whose to say you wont start all of a sudden. We cant trust you demon." Another stated. Naruto flinched at the demon comment, feeling rage build up.

'_stay calm, stay calm, stay calm' _He repeated in his head.

"Why do you call me a demon anyways?" He asked after he put his anger in check.

"Like you wouldn't know." The third one said.

"I don't" Naruto frowned.

"Pst, just like you. You deceitful, evil, beast." The first muttered. Naruto was getting very angry.

"Well no need to be all bitchy." Naruto said calmly, despite his inner turmoil.

"Shut it demon!"

That was it. Naruto busted out running, catching the ANBU off guard. He turned down the ally, they followed, yet when they got there, there was no signs of him. Just a few garbage bins and flies.

"Damn it! He got away!" One said, they instantly dispersed to find the boy. No one noticed the single fly buzzing away from the rest.

* * *

"Hokage-Sama! Naruto ran o-" The ANBU member stopped in his tracks as they saw the blond-haired child in a seat on the side of the Hokage's desk, reading a book.

"Calm down. Next time you shouldn't be so negative to your ward and maybe they'll be more cooperative." Sarutobi said coolly, a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"Hai Hokage-Sama." The ANBU bowed.

"Dismissed." He nodded, the ANBU left.

"As I was saying," Naruto started, annoyed that he was interrupted. "Why do I have to read all these books?" He said, gesturing to the large pile of books in the corner. "I haven't done anything bad since my punishment!"

"According to your grades, your still failing your classes, even with the extra time you should have taken advantage of. Plus you have been skipping way to often." Sarutobi said, puffing his pipe. "Now here are your choices: 1) You are sent back to a lower-level class." Naruto looked appalled. "Or 2) you read each of those books and pass the tests I give you on them with a 90 or higher." He hid a smirk at the boys expression.

"B-b-but…"

"No buts, Choose now." He said with finality.

"Huh? But, oh alright! I choose choice 2." He deflated, pouting now.

"Good, get started on that book." He said, continuing his work. Naruto looked at the book titled 'Philosophy of the Sociology between mammals.' He cringed. "Also, you will remain here doing this if your grades don't improve." He added.

'_O-kay, maybe I should have got higher grades.' _He thought, cracking open the cover of the uninteresting book.

The hokage smiled as Naruto started reading, a look of dismay plastered on his face. This was actually punishment from him and Iruka. They both know Naruto was smarter than his grades say-the pranks were enough proof of that. They also knew that Naruto really doesn't try in the academy. He was so wrapped up in other things, training, cooking, and training, that he named the boring stuff unimportant. Thus, he doesn't even put any real effort into school; unless their teaching with weapons or jutsu.

So this was to get him to put more effort in the Academy. What better to do that than piles of books on sociology, philosophy, history, geography, mathematics and science? All which were college level material, poor lad; he has no chance of understanding that context. The hokage really wasn't going to grade his papers; he just needed to give the boy incentive to put more effort in school. But Naruto didn't need to know that part of the plan.

Naruto turned the page, still looking quite unhappy. That got Sarutobi to smile. He turned to his stack of growing paper-work. Now he was the one looking unhappy. '_Hate…these…reports." _He thought, twitching at how the majority of them were D-rank mission reports, and financial reports.

**(AN: That's why you don't mess with the authoress main character!!**)

* * *

"Alright, who are you and what have you done with Naruto!" Choji accused, pointed at the blond.

"Seriously, I am Naruto." Naruto held up his hands in defense.

"Oh yeah, then explain this!" Kiba said, holding up Naruto's test paper, on it was an A-.

"Hey, I only studied" That got a lot of disbelieving faces from the group.

"What's your favorite food?" Choji asked suspiciously.

"Ramen!!" Naruto shouted.

"Huh, well he past my test." Choji shrugged.

"I still don't believe it, as long as we known him; Naruto has never studied for a test." Kiba said.

"Well, about that." Naruto looked sheepishly. "The old man is punishing me for a prank, and said if I don't get my grades up he'll ban be from ever being a ninja." He shrugged.

"Yep, that's Naruto, always getting in trouble." Shikamaru yawned.

"And the only one who can get away with calling the hokage "old man"" Shino added.

"Maybe you shouldn't do any more pranks." Kiba twitched. As long as he's known him, Naruto was always getting in trouble because of one prank or other.

"It was only a little one!" He complained.

"What did you do?" Choji asked curiously.

"Uh, the hokage classified it as an S-rank secret, so…"

"It was that bad!" Kiba yelled. Naruto just looked sheepish.

"Maybe, maybe not." Naruto said. In response half the group smacked there foreheads.

"Well, what have you been doing during your punishment?" Shikamaru asked, with a hint of interest.

"Nothing much." He replied, twitching as the thought of them books popped up in his head.

"Your hiding something." Kiba said.

"N-n-nothing! I'm hiding nothing!" He backed up, anther thought of disguising as a girl popped in his mind.

"SPILL IT!" Choji demanded.

"Literally, I have nothing to hide." He said, thinking of him in a sewing class.

"Naruto; we don't like being lied to." Shino threatened.

"If you don't tell us, we'll say that you insulted a certain person…" Shikamaru said evilly

"So tell us." Choji threatened

"Or die!" Kiba finished. Naruto looked around at all of his 'friends' whom glared at him menacingly. Knowing there was no way out of it, he decided to tell some of the truth.

"I learned how to carve wood sculptures." He said in defeat, not eager to add anything else.

"Arf, arf."

"Akamaru said your still hiding something…embarrassing." Kiba said relentlessly. Naruto panicked.

"Urm, not all that important, really." Naruto tried to convince them. They weren't falling for it.

BRIIIING! The bell was enough to distract all the students for Naruto to dash away.

"He's getting away!" Kiba yelled, starting to chase him

"How can he stay up there so long?" Choji asked, looking up into the sky. There on a long pole was Naruto, clinging to the top.

"I don't know; but he can't stay up there for ever." Shikamaru said

"I wonder what could be as bad as for him to hide it like this." Shino thought.

"He's been up there for an hour, there aren't nothing to hold on to, and the pole is slippery as hell." Kiba observed. "I am really starting to hate flagless flag poles." He muttered.

"Join the club." They all chorused.

"Hey, where'd he go?" Choji asked, looking up the now empty flag pole…

* * *

"Okay, maybe I made way too many of these." Naruto observed looking around his room, all around were wood and stone sculptures of anything imaginable. They overran the bed, tables, cabinets, chairs, shelves, furniture, and the floor. "Maybe I should sell them or something." He thought, remembering a little shop on the other side of the village that sold sculptures like this. "But how can I do that?" He thought. He looked at the clock, seeing what time it was; he sighed.

"Back to my torture." He muttered, leaving out to the Hokage's office.

Thirty minutes later…

'_oh, this is interesting.' _Naruto thought, turning the page of the large green book titled "Becoming an Entrepreneur, and managing your business." '_It's like Ojiisan knew what I was planning.' _He gave a quick glance to the working hokage. '_that is suspicious now that I think about it, how does he always knows what I'm planning, besides those pranks anyway.' _He thought.

'_what ever it is, I'll have to find out later, I'm almost done.' _

* * *

"Wooo hoo! I passed!" Naruto bounced up and down around the room. "And I finished four of those thick text books!" He cheered. "That means I can go now; right?" He asked eagerly.

"Yes, your done for today." Sarutobi smiled at him.

"Yes! Bye ojiisan!" he yelled, before disappearing out the window. As soon as he left the Hokage's face grew serious. He looked at the four thick text books that Naruto finished.

'_There's no way Naruto could have finished all those, there about a thousand pages each with small, small font.' _He thought, looking at the boy's test papers. '_Yet he answered all of the questions right for all of the tests. Its only been two hours, half and hour per book. Even though the tests really weren't relevant, it is surprising he got all of this right; I mean, this is college stuff! Plus he read all those books in record speed.' _Sarutobi sighed, '_Well, it looks like that boy will never cease to amaze me.' _He shook his head

"Naruto, you really would make one hell of a Hokage, if none else, you would be the first to finish all this paperwork in record time." He said to himself, looking at the magically growing pile of paper-work. "Plus he is one mean cook." He added, pulling out one of Naruto's meals from the restaurant he worked under disguise for. "Him and his S-rank foods." He chuckled to himself, taking a bite of the Bombay Salmon.

* * *

MEANWHILE:

"I want the bird!" A lady yelled at a Black haired, blue eyed, merchant in his mid-twenties. He wore a jean vest with a red t-shirt, and jean shorts. Tied in with black tennis shoes. "I'll give you 2000 yen for it."

"I raise it to 4000, that's the last one left!" Another young lady screamed.

"Make it 5000 yen!" A man yelled. "I need one for my wife!"

Naruto stood there and smiled coolly, sort of like Sasuke. As he learned, copying Sasuke's aloofness attracted girls from miles round, which quickly caused him to sell out, right now, he was down to the last sculpture, it was a bird flying under a rainbow with a water fall in the back ground. So what started as charging 1000 yen per sculpture (10.00) ended in each one selling to the highest bidder. So far, he made about 67800000 yen. (678,000)

AN: I not certain but I believe this is how the Japanese currency system goes. Correct me if I'm wrong.

"100000 yen!" A lady challenge a good portion of the crowd backed off.

"200000 yen!" A wealthy looking lady challenged. More of the crowed backed away.

"600000 yen!!" The first lady challenged once more.

"1200000 yen!" The second called. By this time, it was only these two left fighting for the stone sculpture. This is how most of the bidding went, although it never reached this high before. Naruto just stood there with a Sasuke-like smirk, seemingly unaware of the wave of girls that stood there with hearts in there eyes beyond the bidders.

"57000000 yen!" The lady called out, smiling at the defeated look on the other.

"57000001 yen!" She shot, looking venomously. At this, the first backed off. After a moment of no challenge, Naruto took the sculpture from the shelf.

"Here you go." He said coolly, the lady sighed and almost fainted as she handed him the money. She held the sculpture close to here heart. "I'll cherish it forever!" She said before skipping off. Other girls followed reluctantly; leaving Naruto alone. In about five minutes he had the rental booth down and returned, and was heading to the bank with pockets full of cash.

"Hello Gozena-San; I see you kept your promise." A kind teller greeted.

"Yep, I told you those sculptures would make me a fortune." He smiled. Earlier he made a bank account under his disguised name; because one, banks wouldn't give loans to 8 year olds, and two, they always kicked him out.

"1240000001 yen! I'm impressed. You are rich for a while." She said in shock. "Maybe I can get you to hook me up with your sculptures." She chuckled.

"I'll see what I can do, besides, currently I am sold out." He shrugged.

"Well you better make some more soon!" She joked. The screen beeped. "well, all done, you are all set."

"Thanks, I better go now, I have a lot more to do today." He smiled.

"Come again soon!" She called winking. Naruto, being only eight, didn't understand what that was about.

"Sure will." He waved, leaving the bank.

* * *

"He just made more money in two hours than I make in two months." The hokage said to himself, finishing his checkup on the blonde. "No wonder he finished those books so quickly." He looked over at the books he read. "Maybe I should read them…" He thought.

* * *

Naruto walked into a grocery store, looking to buy some dinner, which to his ire didn't include ramen. He went down the isles and grabbed ingredients to make a beef pastolli pasta, which reminded him slightly of ramen.

He walked up to the register, already expecting to spend a good amount of is newfound fortune.

"That will be 4500 yen." He the cashier said. Naruto couldn't hide the look of surprise. He paid the money, and left, looking at the receipt.

"Milk, 250 yen!" He called off the first ingredient. "But I usually pay twice that…" His eyes widened as he scrolled farther down the list. Everything was half the price of what he usually paid.

A grim look fell upon his features, as he headed to his apartment. '_That store over priced me! All the time! What other stores have been over charging me? No wonder I can only really afford ramen! It's not that the hokage did give me enough allowance, its that the stores over charge me so damn much!' _He was soon in his apartment, anger clear on his face.

"Why is it always me!" He yelled throwing down the groceries. "They hate me, over charge me, try and kill me, what else is next!" he yelled into thin air, releasing his henge, He looked into the mirror. "Why do they call me evil? Why do they hate me?" He asked his reflection, sadness over taking him. "Why." His shoulders quivered, as angry tears began to fall. "WHY!!" He yelled, smashing the mirror with his fist, it shattered. "WHAT DID I DO!" He yelled. After an hour or so, he decided to take a nap and clear his head.

Five hours later…

"Ha-ha! I finally finished by master piece!" Naruto exclaimed, proudly holding up his beef pastolli pasta. "Although I did make too much for one person." He said, looking at the incredibly large plate of food.

"Well now you wouldn't mind sharing with your ojiisan then." Sarutobi said, startling the blond.

"Where did you come from!" He said in surprise.

"Oh, just in the neighborhood, when I herd one of the famous chefs Mieru exclaiming his meal to be done." He said coolly.

"Really" Naruto said twitching.

"Yep. You have become quite the cooking prodigy rather quickly around here." He said. "I personally agree that you do blow away the competition." He eyed the dinner.

"How do you know all this stuff." Naruto sweat-dropped.

"I'm the hokage, I have to monitor you."

"It seems that you take extra effort to watch over me." He shot the hokage a suspicious glance.

"Well, you are the ultimate troublemaker in Konoha, gained titles such as the master prankster, bouncing orange horror, yellow-headed bomb…"

"Alright, alright, I get the point. Gees. I wasn't that bad." He rolled his eyes.

"Sure you weren't 'ghost of Konoha'" He eyed him.

"Hey, you brought that on your self."

"What about the "Spider attack day?"" He said

"It's not my fault they decided to rob my apartment." He defended.

"And the 'Kyuubi pups flood.'" The hokage raised his eye-brow.

"Hey, they kept calling me the evil fox." He defended.

"'Gender change day.'" He dead-panned.

"They kept calling me a sissy." Naruto shrugged.

"You just have an excuse for everything don't you." He sighed.

"Hey, it's not like I attacked the innocent." He defended

"Every time you prank you have tourists leaving thinking this place has crazy people." Sarutobi edged.

"Really?" He put on a thoughtful face. "Have to think of something to get around that." He said thoughtfully. The hokage sighed exasperatedly.

"You're thinking of more ways to prank!" He exclaimed.

"Uh….ow! My stomach hurts I should get some food." He said quickly. Sarutobi raised an eyebrow.

"You are going to be an interesting ninja." He said.

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?" Naruto asked.

"Or should I say, Kunoichi." He smirked.

"Hey! I only did that because there was nothing else to do." Naruto yelled.

"Hey no offense, I am a little hungry too you know. "

"Well since you're here…" Naruto instantly had a plate of food in front of the hokage while watching him critically. "I made this recipe up myself, tell me what you think!" He said excitingly.

Sarutobi took a small bite making sure that the boy didn't try to get some sort of revenge on him through food.

"It's pretty good." He said. "But sadly, I have to get back, have a long council meeting to attend.

"Alright, see ya." Naruto said. As soon as the hokage left, Naruto noticed a good half his food gone missing.

"HEY!!"

* * *

**Meanwhile:**

"Mmmm, delicious." Sarutobi said, from the top of the hokage monument, henged into Hayai, enjoying his free meal**.**

* * *

"So…hot…today…" Naruto panted, trudging to the shade.

"Well you should have never ran out the building." Shikamaru said irritably, wiping the sweat off him. It was true, As soon as he could Naruto sprinted out the building, only to be beaten down by the sun's angry rays moments later.

"How was I supposed to know Mr. Sun was against us today?" He wined, falling face first onto the cool ground under the shade of the tree.

"Sadly, on hot days like this we have to stay out 15 minutes longer than usual." Shino said, looking surprisingly cool under that thick jacket.

"What did Iruka say we had to do in class again?" Kiba asked, willing the conversation about heat to end.

"How cool summer breezes should live up to there reputations." Naruto mumbled, his head turned to the side while he still lay in the same spot on the grass.

"No it was about how ice should grow from trees instead of leaves." Choji huffed, leaning his back against the tree, wiping sweat off of his face.

"Maybe how air-conditioners should work outside." Shikamaru said wistfully, staring at the leaves that overhang the group, wishing that there was a way to watch clouds with out being scorched in the sun's inferno.

"Man, it feels like the sun is right next to us!" Kiba exclaimed.

"Konoha should move to Antarctica." Naruto sighed.

"That's what I'm saying." Kiba laughed a little.

"Hey! I know, we should all try and get Iruka to through an ice-cream party!" Choji suggested, imagining all the delicious flavors of ice-cream. That got everyone's mouth watering.

"Quickly, where is the nearest ice-cream shop!" Kiba almost shot up, not willing to make any drastic movements.

"I don't know" Choji said. Every one sighed.

Just from there looks it was obvious that there were no 'nearest' ice-cream shops.

"I know there's one near the Gilford restaurant." Naruto moaned, thinking why ice-cream has to be so far away.

"THAT'S SO DAMNED FAR!" Kiba Yelled at the sky.

"Maybe an ice-cream cart will stroll through." Choji suggested.

"They don't come out until later today, its still early." Shikamaru sighed.

"Those things should run on the weather, not time." Kiba and Naruto grumbled in unison.

"Well there's nothing we can really do at this point." Shino sighed.

"But suffer in the sun…" Choji whined.

* * *

"Reading about brains in melting mine!" Naruto grumbled, rubbing his temples with his fingers as he tried to understand what he just read. The title was simple enough; being called '_The Brain' _in all. It was also one of the smaller books, black with blue webs running through it, suspending in the webs were three shining reddish gold globes. It's design attracted the blonde's attention to the book.

Yet when he tried to read it, he realized that it had really, _really, _small text. To add salt to the wound, he understood none of the words besides the 'the' at the beginning of the book.

'_Inauspicious? Neurophysiologist? Neurons? Electrical and chemical messages? Paradox? Subatomic? Prodigious? Exquisite? Pirouette? Repertoire? Philosophical? Electrodes? Neurotransmitter? Endorphins? HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW ALL OF THIS!!' _Naruto shouted in his mind, _'I AM AN EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY FOR GOODNESS SAKE!' _He glanced over to hokage, who was taking full advantage of the lull in the day's paperwork by painting. '_This is all his fault.' _Naruto thought irately.

"Talking about me isn't going to get that work done." Sarutobi interjected. Naruto was caught off guard by that, and fell out of his chair.

"I don't even understand a word in here!" Naruto yelled once he recovered.

"Well there is a dictionary in the top drawer of my desk." The hokage hinted, not taking his attention off his painting.

"But it would take me forever to look all this up! Every other word is something I never herd of!" Naruto complained.

"Well you better get started then, maybe you could even put context clues to work." He shrugged.

"Oh, your cruel ojiisan; so, so cruel." Naruto protested. He could sense the old man's smirk even though his head was turned.

'_Ah, this is what it's all about! Torturing the young!" _Sarutobi thought satisfactorily.

'_He gets a lot of satisfaction in my dismay' _Naruto groused.

"This is one fibrous portion of broccoli." Naruto said, chewing on the tough vegetable from his take-out try. "And the meat has much to much cholesterol and pheliter-wait… OH NO I CANT GET THOSE WORDS OUT MY HEAD!!" Naruto screamed, sitting up from his couch. His shouts received yells of 'shut up down/up there I'm trying to sleep!' from all around.

True, it was late, about 12:00 p.m. Naruto just finished with his days 'activities,' sneaking into family, public, and school libraries , and grabbed some take-out from an 24 hour restaurant. After spending the whole day looking up thousands of words, complements of the Hokage's book assignments, he couldn't stop using the complex words.

"This all falls under the responsibility of the master fiend of the village." He said irately, smacking himself a moment later for using such a superfluous explanation. "Oh how I abhor…here I go again!" Naruto through his hands up in the air, not happy at all with his changed behavior.

He took another bite of his food, thinking of some ways to make the hokage pay for his torture. He smiled evilly after a few moments. "Oh Naruto you are too good."

* * *

"Hokage-Sama! This simpleton assaulted my daughter!" An elderly lady yelled at the said person.

" I did no such thing! Your daughter doesn't listen to common sense!" Another lady yelled.

"Hokage-sama! He wont let me build my garage, the thief keeps steeling my supplies." A builder yelled.

" Not!" another yelled.

"That chef ruined my wedding!"

"That person ripped us off!"

"Hokage-sama, here are more reports." A chuunin assistant bowed, placing another boatload of papers on his desk.

Sarutobi sighed at the day this was turning out to be. His desk was piled high in mini sky-scrapers of paperwork, his office filled with bickering people, trying to get him to resolve there issues. He had two meetings with the council scheduled today, both promising to be long and boring. He had a surplus in missions to hand out, most D-rank; which only lead to one thing, tons of boring reports.

'_I have a feeling that Naruto had something to do with this.' _He thought. So many people in his office with tons of headache-giving problems, shinobi of all rank were having problems maintaining piece and tranquility. Out of all the calamity, Naruto sat in the corner of the room, peacefully reading one of the many books given to him, seemingly unaware of the goings on. Some villagers even started complaining about his presence in the room. Naruto still seemed unfazed.

'_I take that back, I know Naruto had something to do with this.' _He confirmed, dreading the rest of the day, or, from the looks of the mess, weeks.

Day two of the Hokage's torture.

"I am too old for this." He sighed, after handling a full day of peoples quarrels.

"You know, it could all magically stop of the price is right." Naruto hinted deviously.

"You are cunning." He glared at him. Naruto looked unfazed. He contemplated the highs and lows of the child's offer. Knowing that Naruto could keep this up till the last three months of his punishment is up, he came across a decision to make a deal with him.

"If you manage to get these people and paper work to give me some rest I swear to take two weeks off your punishment!" The hokage exclaimed. Naruto sat there contemplating it.

"It does sound tempting…"

"I will also let you through out two books of your choosing." He said persuasively.

"And you have to treat me to ramen every week." Naruto added.

"What." He twitched, he would be so poor if he agreed to that.

"Its either that or no deal." Naruto said cunningly.

The hokage glared at the book titled '_Sociology: The Secrets of Bargaining._'

'_I brought this on myself.' _He frowned.

"Alright I agree." He sighed in defeat, ignoring his wallet troubles for now, besides, anything was better than handling a hundred feuding villagers a day.

"Alright, I better get to work then!" He said, disappearing out the window.

* * *

'_How in the world did he do this?" _The hokage thought, staring at the boy in question. The very next day after their agreement, no more villagers came in to complain about stuff. His monstrous pile of paper work wasn't increasing in the least. The mission reports were all succinct and legible-for once. The ANBU took it upon themselves to fill out there own weapon replacement forms, which were very long, so that the hokage only had to put his signature. Order forms were the same as the ANBU forms. Council meetings were canceled as they went off the scene. The financial reports went by surprisingly easy, even the economy increased in wealth.

The only question: How could one eight and a half year-old do all this?

That's Naruto's little secret.

Naruto was also finishing with working on those books at an alarming pace. His grades at the academy only averaged out to a C, although, the hokage had a suspicion it had something to do with Naruto trying to hide his true talents. He wondered if the stupid and dense acts of the boy were really all fake. He decided to end his bookwork early. He was getting way too cunning with the help of those books. He shuddered at what prank the child would be able to pull off after he read them _all._

* * *

One week later.

"I finish with this book!" Naruto held up the thick book, titled the secrets of the past great empires. "Ready for that test now."

The hokage looked at the blond critically.

"How about I trade in this book work assignment for something else." He said carefully.

"Really! Cool!!" Naruto said. "Anything's better than this!" He said.

"Well, you just have to become one of my aids." He shrugged, getting files here, organizing things there, going on certain 'secret missions' here, testing the shinobi of the village there." He said. Naruto smiled at the last two parts.

"Agreed!" He said, carelessly tossing the book. "Cant wait to get started!"

* * *

"This is Sneaky Fox to Hawk-Eye, come in Hawk-eye." Naruto spoke into a black walkie-talkie.

"This is Hawk-eye, is the target in sight?" Sarutobi's voice came in on the other side. Naruto peered through the leaves of the tree he was residing in. From there he got a clear view of an open window.

"Target not in sight, I spot an opening, requesting permission to retrieve." He spoke through the radio.

"Permission granted, family is in the home at dinner, make no unnecessary noise." His voice came through.

"Roger, this is Sneaky Fox sighing out!" Naruto said. He then jumped off the branch and was soon through the window. After searching around, he found what he was looking for.

"Heh, piece of cake." Naruto said, nabbing the object.

"Hawk-eye to Sneaky Fox, enemy coming your way, get out of there!" Sarutobi's voice sounded.

"Roger that, using diversionary tactic delta!" Naruto said, rolling under a table, jumped on top of a book-case, and dived out the window. No sooner did he leave did a boy walk in.

"Was it a success?" Hayai asked Naruto. He smiled.

"Operation; recover borrowed book a success" Naruto said happily, holding out the said book.

"Mission a success! Lets go get some ramen!" He said happily.

"Alright! Lets go!" Naruto all but pushed the hokage to the ramen stand.

* * *

"Hot." Naruto said the one word that could escape his lips. All the students of the school that were out this recess were taking refuge under the shade of trees, bushes, and from the shadow of the school. It was so quite out that you could here the bugs buzzing around.

"Those teachers must love to torture us in this heat." Choji said, his companions smiled gravely in agreement, non speaking more than was needed.

"You know how rich a person would be if they strolled down an ice-cream cart at this time." Kiba said, looking desperately out into the dry hot road, hoping an ice-cream cart would do just that.

"Maybe we can get the teachers to teach us an ice jutsu." Naruto said thoughtfully.

"Or an ice-cream jutsu." Choji added.

"I got it!" Naruto popped up from his place laying on the grass. "I'll just have to bring the ice-cream here myself!" He said.

"How do you plan on doing that?" Kiba voiced everyone's question.

"I just have to get Ojiisan to do a few things here and there." He said cunningly.

"Naruto, if you manage to bring ice-cream here I swear I will treat you to ramen myself." Kiba vowed.

"Really now." Naruto said, getting a devious smiled that only made Kiba fear for his allowance. Choji patted Kiba on his back.

"Prepare to be broke." He said.

* * *

"How in the hell did you get all this ice-cream in here?" A random boy asked Naruto, staring at the many, many ice-cream boats that appeared out of no where.

"My ojiisan helped me out." He said, watching as the ice-cream was quickly picked up by the many, many sweating kids. It wasn't really a lie when he said it. The hokage did teach him how to seal things up in scrolls. Naruto simply used his 'secret funds' to buy tons of ice-cream, then he sealed it up, and waited until the teacher let out the students in the hot, hot sun for recess. His classmates were only too happy to help dispose of the ice-cream.

"I don't care how you did it, but we all owe you one!" Choji said, happily eating his rocky-road.

"I guess that means I have to treat you out to ramen then." Kiba said, not knowing how much ramen the child could eat.

"I feel all too sorry for you Kiba." Iruka sighed.

"Huh?" Kiba said confused, "He can't eat that much ramen at one time can he?"

"That's right, keep thinking that." Naruto said evilly, looking up from his orange-flavored ice-cream

"Naruto to ramen is like me to barbeque." Choji laughed as Kiba's face flushed.

"What have I done? All for the sake of this chocolate ice-cream!" He moaned.

* * *

"Hey Kiba! You know that set of kunai you've been wanting is on sale, you better get it now." His elder sister Hana said to the depressed looking boy.

"I can't I am totally broke." He huffed.

"What! You've been saving for months, what have you possibly spent your money on?" She said.

"I made a promise to a boy named Naruto that if he brought some ice-cream to the school I would treat him to ramen." He told her. She winced in response.

"You said that to NARUTO! I heard that the hokage took him out to eat once and he sent the guy into debt." She said in shock.

"Now you tell me..." He grumbled, storming off to brood in his room.

* * *

Naruto's fingers were gripped tightly on a newspaper in the middle of a stack of newspapers.

"Concentrate, concentrate…" He said, "Now!" With that, he pulled out the news paper from the stack, as a result, the stack toppled on top of him, his hand twitched out the center of it. Soon enough, he crawled out the stack and began to restack the papers. He was trying to master what he's seen the hokage do so many times. He was trying to gain the skill to pull out folders from the middle of the stack with out causing the stack to fall.

The reason for this was because as the Hokage's assistant, he was assigned to get the many papers, books, and files the hokage needed from the libraries and shelves around the office, yet Naruto was never allowed to get files from the many stacks of papers that constantly surrounded the desk. The reason was made all to clear today…

FLASHBACK NO JUSTU

Naruto today was henged into a chuunin with navy blue shorts and a matching t-shirt. Hair was long and black and covered half his face, leaving one blue eye exposed and watching everything around him. On his vest was a gold and red ribbon, on it held the certification of the hokage. He went by the name of Kimasu. This was Naruto's disguise for working around the office. As the many people came in, either for missions, giving reports, getting checks, and so on, Naruto would be sent around the many shelves in the office to pull off the files needed, or he would be sent around the building to pull something from the archives.

Today, a female jonin came forward.

"Hokage-sama, I am ready for my next mission." She bowed respectfully.

"Very well, let me see what I have." He said reaching for the appropriate folders in the stack. Naruto noted how smoothly he pulled out the files time and time again. This time was no different. He pulled out a red, tabbed folder.

After the jonin was given her mission and was on out the door, Naruto decided to try and pull out a folder.

"Now where did I put those mission repots." The hokage said.

"I'll get them!" Kimasu replied. Sarutobi's eyes widened as Naruto grabbed the said folder and tried to pull it out the stack.

"Wait NO!" He tried to warn

CRASH!

"Oh, that didn't turn out as expected." Kimasu said, laying in the middle of the paper mess, papers flying all around the office.

"**NARUTO!" **Said in a chillingly calm voice Naruto looked to the said person who had fire emanating from his eyes.

"Oh, he-he, look at the time, I should go pick us up some lunch." Naruto said, as he got up and darted out the office.

"GET BACK HERE!" The hokage called after, chasing the disguised blond.

END FLASHBACK NO JUTSU

After cleaning up one big paper mess; Naruto was relieved of his duties early. He decided to spend that time in trying to master the folder-pulling skill.

"Okay, let me try this again." Naruto said, trying once more to pull out the newspaper. This time, the papers slid dangerously to the left as he pulled it out. He smiled "I almost got it!" He said. As soon as those words left his lips did the stack of papers pile on top of him. "Still need more practice…" His muffled voice said from somewhere deep within the pile.

* * *

Three days later…

"Now where did I put those mission reports." The hokage pondered aloud.

"I got 'em!" Naruto said excitingly, the hokage paled.

"Not that again!" He tried to stop the child, but stopped when Naruto successfully pulled out the said folder, leaving the stack undisturbed.

"Surprise!" He smiled.

"How did you learn that so fast." He asked, after he over came his surprise and relief.

"I practiced at home." He shrugged.

"Well now that you can do that…" The hokage got an evil smile.

"What's with that smile…" Naruto said feeling a sense of dread come over him.

The next day…

* * *

"It's Over!" Naruto yelled falling into his bed. Ever since Naruto showed his new skill, the hokage has been running him around like his actual assistant as soon as he's shown his new skill. Have to file a folder in the library; Naruto is given the job. Need to get the mission files from downstairs; Naruto is sent on that mission. The office needs more organizing, well what do you know, Naruto is doing that too. The plus side was that they went on 'Secret Missions' more often, because more work was done in less time.

"I will never pull such a major prank again." He said, snuggling up in his bed. So happy to be done with paperwork. "I'm coming Mr. Ramen Bunny." He said sleepily, as he slipped of to ramen world.

* * *

**AN: **Yes I am done! This was one long chapter, my longest one yet. Thus I divided it into two chapters. Yes I am done, done, done, done, done! I kind of rushed the ending but I have gotten sick and tired of this chapter by now. Now I shall move on to the next Chappie. I have outlined the next 8 chapters, yet now I am not so sure I should use the outline…just kidding.

The next chappie has more action in it than my previous ones, but it's also kind of sad. Hope you enjoy it.


	12. Chapter 12: Random Pranks and refocusing

**Chapter 12: One hour later:"Uh Oh, I can't see! " **

**AN: **Alright heres my next chapter. If you want to hear about why this thing is so late to come out, I left an explaination at the end, thanks for reading and enjoy the show!

-----

It was a nice morning; the golden morning sun slowly but steadily lazed its way into the sky, and the ink-black was being over come by pastel colors of pink and purple and finally blue oceans. The moon was a light wisp in the sky now, it almost looked like a perfectly circular cloud. The birds sung sweet melodys of dawn as they fluffed their feathers for the day. Night crawlers were seen snuggling up somewhere as the sun signaled the end of their parties.

Shop owners were still setting up their shops for the morning, and other early-birds were lazily making their way to their destinations, while others ignored the sun shine with the help of thick curtains and slept like rocks.

Naruto yawned for the fourth time that morning, dragging his feet as if his shadow weighed a hundred pounds. His sunny-blond hair didn't seem so sunny, and his bright blue half-lidded eyes looked more or less like the night sky now. Today was not his morning. People who saw him would think he was sleeping on his feet, which he was. That was proven a fact when he walked into a wall.

"Whats this doing here?" He asked groggily with a bit of annoyance as he looked at the structure. He soon found it was the academy. "It seems like this placed walked closer to my apartment" He grouched in sleepy irritation, and went around back to one of the training grounds. Slouching up a tree, he snuggled between the crook of a branch, thinking.

'_I should think next time before I try something new.' _He thought grimly. '_That no pranking thing really threw my game off.' _What could Naruto be talking about? Well, while he was inventing something new for his prank-it was a device that flashed out a really bright light to blind people as it streamed out colors of paint-he caused a mini-explosion in the wilderness of Konoha. One that shook the whole village in an ethereal flash of blue and yellow light. Why? Well, let's just say Naruto learned the true importance of keeping up with his seal studies.

The blast caused the village to go into a minor panic, the ANBU were on the scene only to find a smouldering crater with a one decimeter radius. Everywhere around the crater was badly scorched to crisps. Stumps of trees blew away gradually with a light breeze. In the center was a minorly singed, yet completely charka deprived blond who was teetering on the high-wire of life and death as he barely had enough charka to survive. No normal person should have made it out of that without being either dead or severly crippled.

Of course, if Naruto was normal this wouldn't be very interesting, would it?

Although he surprised the nurses and hokage at his speedy recovery, he still felt like crap. Maybe it was because he was bitter at having his idea literally blow up in his face…or it could be the fact that he ran out of ramen that morning.

"I WANT MY RAMEN!!!" He yelled causing the birds to leap from the trees.

…Yep it was the ramen…

Naruto let out a depressed sigh, as his mood changed for the tenth time that morning. Crawling out the tree, which involved rolling out and hitting the ground with a thud, he made his way to the academy. He let out another depressed sigh. Today they moved his class to the third floor, why, he really didn't care. But as he climbed the extra flights of stairs, he radiated an aura of rejection. The teachers had to stop and stare in disbeliefe, the hyperactive trouble making blond could feel emotion that wasn't happy! The practical ones threw away the drinks they were drinking thinking it was making them see things. The superstitious ones started panicking for the apocalypse.

Naruto stormed into the class room in anger, how dare his ramen be gone! It had to be a thief! He knew he had ramen! He never ran out! Those damned villagers stole his ramen!!!! He smirked deviously as he sat in his seat, letting out an evil chuckle of a good prank to make them suffer for his ramen shortage.

…apparently loss of ramen makes him bipolar…or maybe even tripolar…

Iruka walked into the class-room to see the often earlier-than-most blond sitting in his chair with an aura of depression about him. He stopped. Walked out, and walked back in only to see it wasn't him imagination. After frantically looking around and being convinced a meteor shower or something was going to destroy them all, he walked up to the blond.

"Naruto why are you so down this morning?" He asked, genuinely concerned. Naruto looked up with tears brimming at the edges of his blue eyes. Iruka was alarmed to see the blond like this, something really bad must've happened to his student, he made a vow with himself to try his best to fix what ever is wrong with him. Who was the horrible monster that crushed his favorite student's spirit so mu-

"I ran out of ramen." He said in a depressed voice, Iruka fell anime style on the ground at that. He came back up with a sweat-drop. _'Well, it is Naruto…' _

"Well, if you agree to cheer up I will give you this" He held out an unopened ramen cup that he took out his house for a quick lunch. Before he could blink the cup was gone, and Naruto was no where in sight. "I guess that's a yes…" he thought recovering from his surprise.

One hour later the blond happily walked back into the class-room, which was still empty due to it being about 45 minutes early. Iruka was there doing paper work.

"Ah, that was the best! Thanks Iruka-sensei!" Naruto said happily, jumping up to bear-hug his favorite teacher.

"Eh? Oh, you're welcome Naruto, though, what took you so long?" He asked.

"Oh, well I had to run home to get it cooked, and I walked leasurly back." He smiled foxily, releasing the teacher. Iruka ruffled his hair.

"You know, I could have just warmed it up in the teachers lounge." He smirked. Naruto's eyes got wide.

"Eh!" He exclaimed. Iruka laughed.

-----

Sasuke walked slowly in, the blond was washing the chalkboard at will, and Iruka had gone to make copies of something.

"Good Morning Sasuke!" He said happily to the raven-haired boy as he walked in.

"Why are you washing the chalk-board, did you get into trouble?" He asked, with a raised eye-brow.

"Nope, not this time, I am just being helpful!" He exclaimed happily as he continued to wipe the board in a circular motion, watching in amusement as the dark green wet board dried before his eyes.

"And that's…fun?" Sasuke asked disbelivingly.

"Yeah! Its great, its so exciting to watch it dry, and get it wet!" He said happily. Sasuke sweat-dropped.

"Um…yeah you do that." He said backing away a bit. '_I wonder about his sanity…' _He thought to himself, already picturing the mental institutions placed around Konoha.

"I can't wait for Iruka-sensei to see what a good job I've done!" He exclaimed.

'_Yep, definantly has more than a few loose nuts.' _Sasuke thought to himself, one particular institution popping up in his mind.

"Then I will wash the desks, and mop the floors, and afterwards Iruka-sensei will treat me to ramen!!!!" He yelled the last part with passion. Sasuke twitched.

"You're doing all this for…ramen…" He asked disbeliveingly.

"Hell yeah, maybe he will even restock my cabnets!" He said excitingly, moving on to wash the desks.

"Do you eat anything else besides ramen?" He asked with a raised eye-brow.

"Yeah I eat all kinds of things, ramen is just the best!" He replied, his big foxy-grin on his face. "What do you like the best?" The boy asked as he crawled around to scrape the gum from under the slabs of wood.

"I like pocky." Sasuke told him.

"What's pocky?" Naruto looked up, confusion written on his face as he stood frozen over one of the desks he was washing. Sasuke's eyes bugged out.

"YOU NEVER HAD POCKY!!!!" He yelled pointing an accusing finger at him. Naruto adopted a thoughful face. A few seconds later he replied;

"Nope, never heard of it." He shrugged. Sasuke's jaw hit the ground.

"You don't get out much do you?" He asked. Naruto was back to scrubbing down the desks.

"That's what the hokage says; I wonder what he means by it…" Naruto said, moving on to mopping the floor. Sasuke twitched. "I get out everyday."

"Naruto, do you know what a convient store is?" Sasuke asked sarcastically.

"Nope." Naruto replied with every ounce of sincertity. Sasuke fell over anime style.

"I've heard of people talk about it once, it was a place that sells soap, right?" Naruto asked seriously, moving on to the next desk.

"Yeah…its best you just go to one." He said twitching a little. "Why don't your parents ever take you to these things?" Sasuke asked off-handedly. "Jees, I thought I had it sheltered, they cant-" The sound of the water bucket spilling over cut him off. He looked to see the boy frozen staring blankly into the water.

"I'm an orphan." He said emotionlessly.

"Oh." Sasuke said uncomfortably, allowing the pressuring silence to tug on his conscious. It was a well known fact that the boy didn't have parents, but it was also a fact that was never really thought about. Naruto just acted so…happy nobody would ever think upon first glance he wasn't missing anything from any other kid his age.

Before Sasuke could try an salvage the conversation, Naruto grabbed Sasuke and threw him into the broom closet, the mop clattered to the floor as he followed and shut the door. Naruto placed a hand over the struggling raven-headed mouth as he began to protest.

"Shhhh, their coming!" Naruto said fearfully. Before sasuke could protest any further a low rumbling was heard, in that moment, Sasuke went just as stiff as Naruto. The rumbling got louder, and louder, and louder until the full force of stampeed was heard.

BAM!

The door flew open and the room was instantly filled with gushing fangirls. A spilled over bucket of water greated them.

"I smell that Sasuke-Kun was in here!" One of them yelled. The two boys began to sweat. Naruto discreatly reached into his vest.

" I also smell Naruto…time for revenge!" Another called. The said boys gulped soundlessly. A small ticking sound was heard from him. Sasuke heard it, and unfortunantly, the girls did too.

"There in the closet." Was the collective whisper, as they began to slowly close in on the door.

"Naruto probably took Sasuke-kun captive." One of them said.

"We have to save Sasuke-kun!" One started

"And destroy Naruto!" Another finished. They were three feet from the closet and the ticking stopped. Naruto opened the closet two inches ignoring Sasuke's frantic gestures. He placed a black object in the corner and let go, it shot out immediately.

"AAAAAAAAA IT'S A MOUSE!!!!!!!!!!" They all yelled frantically. Screams, screams, and more screams later, the class-room was empty. Two boys white as paper stepped out the closet.

"Oh man, I can't believe that worked." Naruto said shakingly as he picked up his black wind-up mouse.

"I am not complaining." Sasuke replied. They both looked at each other, for a few moments of silence, before they started snickering, and continued until they burst out laughing.

"No matter what, it's always the easiest pranks that are the funniest." Naruto said as he calmed down.

"I can't believe they were scared away by a mouse!" Sasuke laughed a bit more, before also calming down. "Man I haven't had a good laugh like that in ages." Sasuke said.

"Well…you could always prank them senseless, it always makes me happy." Naruto suggested. "But don't let them see you, if you think their trouble now, try having an anti-fangirl club after you." Naruto shivered. "No more sharp pointy objects." He said to himself. Sasuke sweat-dropped; "Please, those girls can smell me from a mile away, plus, I woke up and when I opened my drawer perfume-covered letter was in there…" he shivered profusely.

"I woke up and found 'WE WILL GET OUR REVENGE FOR SASUKE-KUN!!!' written on my wall in lip stick." Naruto said in a voice filled with fear. "Even the ANBU fear fangirls." He added.

"What! No way!" Sasuke disagreed.

"Oh yeah, wanna bet." Naruto smiled deviously.

"Sure. But if I win you have to…hm, let's see…henge and act like me for a week while I act like you." Naruto shivered in fear. Him! Act like Sasuke!

"Your on, but if I win you have to treat me to all I can eat ramen!" Naruto replied.

Sasuke did not know about Naruto's eating habbits, and agreed instantly.

…Another poor soul, his wallet will be buried next to Iruka's hundreds and Kiba's with honor…

"Meet me here at seven sharp, don't be late!" Naruto said, "Oh and wear a disguise or your fangirls will ruin everything." Sasuke looked unsure at the mention of that…

-----

"Naruto what are you doing." The hokage asked as Naruto sat in his office, scribbling on his scroll in a corner. The Academy ended five minutes ago, how he got to the tower so fast the man would never know.

"I'm practicing with these seals." Naruto said more to himself than the old man.

"And what would these seals do?" Sarutobi asked with a raised eye-brow. Naruto looked up from the scroll to the hokage with a critical look. He decided the hokage, being the professor of seals, could only help him.

"Well, you see I was reading this biology book, and wondering about my clones and thought 'what if you could summon a solid clone of yourself in a completely different location?" He responded. Sarutobi's interest peaked.

"Why would you want to do that?" He asked curiously, already doomed to help.

"Well, after some research I learned of different types of clones. Like the shadow clone, if I make those, then I get what-ever information the clone learned when it disperses and blood-clones have their own lives, and separate existence from the creater. If the creater dies, they stay and live their own lives. They bleed and everything. And let's not forget clones made of the elements. There are so many possibilities there." He finished. Sarutobi's jaw was open, his pipe teetering out his mouth.

"Where did you learn of all that?" he asked. '_He sounds like a professor…one that snuck into the library only for registered shinobi' _

"Oh, I read journals. Lots of journals, and books on chakra theory and sealing theory." Naruto tipped his head to the side. "I went into all the libraries around Konoha and read almost every journal I could find. I am almost done with the Diakyuda Branch. After that then all I have are three more and I will be done." He finished looking thoughtful.

"…so how are you going to make this work." He asked recovering from his surprise. This child was just too advanced for his own good. Naruto agreed. Before Sarutobi could say anything else, Naruto had a previous scroll on the ground, he performed seven hand seals. The seal glowed and so did he. A small chakra cyclone formed around him, another next to him. In about three seconds the cyclones were gone. Naruto stood next to a paler form of him. The form looked sick and fell to the ground soon afterwards.

"You see, I wanted to make a way to summon a clone that has the same abilities of a person with out much chakra. That way if I was fighting someone really strong, I could, for instance, summon a clone of you to help me out in battle. And even if the person I summoned couldn't beat the person, they would still help out, you know?"

Sarutobi had to keep from praising him. "That is a good idea Naruto." He said adopting a crtitical look. He scanned the clone, poked it. Naruto was making a new kind of clone. "But where do you find the time to do this, this is the first time I've seen you do something like this." He asked. He was genuinely curious since he constantly looks at the boy through his crystal ball.

"I use a time displacement seal before I go to bed; it gives me lots of extra time." Naruto smiled.

Clatter!

The hokage's pipe dropped out of his mouth and onto the desk. '_That should definantly be kept under guard from anyone who is not a jonin on up!' _He thought.

"I watched some old man teach it to this other man." He said simply, shrugging. He had no clue the significance of that was. "I am always watching people teach other people stuff." He added. Sarutobi twitched.

"I am going to have to do something about this village's security." He mumbled to himself. Naruto heard him and lauged. A tick appeared on the hokages head as he gave an annoyed side-glance at Naruto. "Whats so funny?" He asked in a monotone voice.

"Well, I was just thinking about how bad the security was. I mean if an Acadmy student can sneak into the forbidden libraries, Anbu Head Quarters, and almost everyones houses using a simple henge then what type of security do you have?" He smiled happily. "But then again, I did work pretty hard on modifying the henge…" He started.

"Show me your modified henge." Sarutobi said curiously once more, his need to study what the blond was doing eliminated his desire to find out what his so called elite ninja really did. Naruto put up a thumbs up. "Sure old man!" With a few hand-signs he was henged into the hokage.

"I hate paperwork." He said, mimicking the hokages voice perfectly. The hokage poked the child, and to his surprise the henge was solid. He felt the chakra signature and found it the same as his. Naruto soon poofed back into himself.

"It took me a while, but I found out a way to henge objects and things to make them seem real. I even added seals to help keep up the henge over long periods of time, so I can still sleep and stuff with the henge still in place." He said thoughfully.

"Naruto that is not any ordinary henge! You produced a perfect replica of me. No wonder why you are able to get into places you wern't supposed to be in!" He exclaimed.

"Yeah, but I try not to use it that much, can't become to dependent on it, because there are going to be times when the chakra and time it takes to initialize it will be too inconvient. Plus it can't be used in all situations." Naruto said. "I am still trying to get into the ANBU Head Quarters with out it." He added. Sarutobi twitched.

"You are either a genious, or the rest of the world is stupid." He said to himself. Naruto heard and smiled.

"I'd say the world is stupid!" He said happily. Sarutobi shook his head.

"You must not teach that henge to anyone else Naruto, and from now on, I'd like to know of any new things you anominously decide to work on. Plus this is also to be kept underwraps." He added, pointing to the dead-looking clone. Naruto smiled and nodded.

"Sure if you agree to help me out here and there." He said. Sarutobi smiled in agreement, pushing away the feeling that this agreement would lead to Konoha's destruction of all pride and dignity later on.

"Sounds easy enough, now, what to do about your clone…" He said thoughtfully.

" I already got it to a point where you can summon a clone of the person you want with a part of them, like a strand of hair. Also when you summon it it is under your control and you share a slight mental link with it, so if you want it to do something you can think it instead of saying it, perfect for stealth. They also have all the abilities and thought process like the orginal so you get the experience and skills to help you out when needed." Naruto then frowned. "But, I can't get the clone right. I think it has something to do with the seal, I need to personalize it more to fit my chakra better, that way the clones won't end up like that." Naruto illistated by pointing to the dead-like clone, who smiled failty and rose up a weak thumbs up. Sarutobi adopted a thoughtful expression.

"Where did you learn about seals and such?" The hokage asked. He truly was curious at how naruto could get so advanced in seals under his nose. Maybe he wasn't checking in on the blond often enough with his crystal ball. '_I swear this child will surpase Jaraiya in seals by the time he's graduated at the rate he is going!' _He thought to himself. Truthfully it was an exaggeration, but he wouldn not be surpised if he did.

"I read The Idiot's Guide to: Seal Basics, and The Idiots Guide to: Seals for beginners already." Naruto said. The hokage nodded.

"Good, good. I am glad to see you are taking learning the basics seariously. Most people just try to jump into what they're trying to do with out the important ground knowledge." Sarutobi smiled. '_Inparticulary people like you.'_ "I know the perfect book to help you." He said getting up. "Follow me, it's about time I get a break anyways." He muttered the last part, turning into Hayai. Naruto smiled, and turned into Nashii. At the hokage's questioning look Naruto shrugged.

"You know, girls are given much more stuff than boys." He said idly. The hokage simply shook his head and walked out with Nashi in tow. Walking into the restricted library was much to easy for the hokage's comfort. The guards should have let him in, but not Nashi, she was much too young…

"Man, these vests do look good on me." He heard Nashii say to herself. Turning, he saw that she indeed had on a jonin vest, posing like some weird undertrained model wannabe. He twitched, when she had done that, he had no clue! Continuing on, he found himself in the wilderness of un-organized scrolls and books. The libraries have not been tended too in…

"ACHOO!" Nashii sneezed as she walked along the dusty floor."Dang 13th century library." She muttered bitterly, spying artifacts such as an ink quil and jar, to forgotten pinafores. "Jees, you'd think an important library with the ANBU lurking at every turn would be cleaned more than once every millinia." She rolled her eyes. Sarutobi could only grunt in agreement. He swore he saw something similar to the boogy man hiding under that last table…

"Ah, hear we are!" He called as he pulled out one of the books. The title was For all the idiots who want to learn about seals that aren't basic. Naruto studied the title and sweat-dropped.

"This person sounds like one of that arrogant over-bearring, bossy, emo-like control freaks." Nashii said in a dull tone.

"Eh, well the author is a friend of mine that lives in the village. Yes, her personality is a bit…eccentric…but she knows her stuff I assure you." Hayai replied sheepishly. Nashii sealed the book into her now blue-trench coat-like vest. This surprised Hayai. "You have storage seals on the inside of your vest?" He asked just to be sure. That has never been thought of, but the uses of it!

"Huh? Oh, yeah. It makes it much easier to seal and summon what you want. Who wants to take out a sealing scroll all the time? It makes it almost impossible to get the ANBU off my back." Nashii replied with a wide smile. "Hey, let's go out to eat!" She yelled with enthusiasm, pulling the 'young' man out with her.

"Do I get any say in this?" Hayai asked in exasperation as Nashii led him out the tower at insanely fast speeds. Nashii adopted a thoughtfull expression.

"Urm…nope!" She said happily, continuing to pull the hokage along. He sighed at his lack of say. He was the hokage of the village! The most powerful shinobi! If anything, he was the adult! Shouldn't he have some control over his unofficial grandson? He sighed again. _'No, control over Naruto would be impossibel;Anyone who manages to control Naruto desearves a metal, one I'd gladly give.' _He thought to himself. He was pulled out of his thoughts as he arrived infront of an oh-so-familiar restaurant. '_If ramen were a person it could control Naruto.' _He idly thought.

Before the disguised hokage could blink, she was sitting in a seat, and the hokage was too. How? Not even Hayai knew the answer to that one. When the subject of ramen or pranking came up, naruto some-how got all laws of science and logic to ignore him as he did near impossible things. At times it made the hokage wonder if he was in a really long dream…or even a genjutsu.

"Excuse me Teuchi-san? Me and Hayai-san would like two bowls of the beef ramen, and a omochi dinner." She said politly. Yes, under disguise Nashii would often swith personalities. Sometimes she would be just like her old self…female version. Others she would be quite and polite, some she would wear all black and be emo, and still there were times she would act arrogant and stuck up. Hayai and Teuchi both agreed that Naruto would be the best of actors. Plus his ability to henge also gave him a leg up on that position. No doubt if he went to be interviewed for a movie part today he'd be seen on the big screan tomorrow.

"Why of coarse my little lady." Teuchi was glad to comply. Ayami and him both enjoyed Naruto's little game, and played along. It was like a mini-play each time. Sometimes it would be quite comical.

"Hello Ayami-san. How has your day been?" Nashii asked the girl. She smiled brightly.

"Great! Although business has been a little slow lately, if this keeps up we'll never be able to upgrade." She looked down at that last part. Nashii looked shocked.

"How could anyone not flock to ramen?!" She almost yelled, startling some of the other customers. She then smiled in a Naruto-planning-an-awsome-prank way. "I know how to get them to come." She chuckled easily.

THUMP!

The two stopped their conversation to look over at Hayai, his head flat on the counter.

"The paperwork…" He whimpered. Ayami and Nashii snickered evilly. They knew how much paperwork the hokage gets after one of Naruto's pranks. Frankly, that was a prank all in itself-one only the two kids knew about. Nashii turned back to Ayami.

"What were you saying about an upgrade?" She asked.

"Oh, we haven't told you yet? Oh well, nows a good time as any. As you know, this stand has been around for a long time, and even though we kept it in good shape, age always manages to get its way." She smiled at that as she motioned to Hayai. The said man pouted. Holding a snicker, she continued. "My dad and I have been trying to make a new stand, one bigger and better than this one. It would help in food production because we can get some better equiptment that we can't fit in here now, and also allow us to hold more than twelve customers at a time." She finished, gesturing to the other seats along the ramen bar.

Nashii looked thoughtful, before turning his attention back to Ayami. "I promise to help you get this upgrade before the end of the next three month." She said strongly. Before Ayami could ask how, Nashii rubbed her hands together with an evil glint in her eyes. "I know just the way to do it." He said in a low, menacing voice that made the whole city shiver.

-----

ANBU headquarters:

All the ANBU shivered as they went by their daily regime in getting ready or turning in from active duty.

"I sense something bad." A quail-mask ANBU said.

"I'm afraid for some reason." A Bear-masked ANBU said with a quiver. Others could only nod.

-----

Hokage Tower:

"No…no…no more PRANKS!!!" One random secretary yelled as the others started shivering in cold fear. Even the guard's stopped and shuttered uncontrollably.

-----

Iruka's Apartment:

"I think I should spend some more quality time loitering at Ichiraku's for my own safety's sake." Iruka shivered suddenly. "I think he'll somehow involve the Academy into one of his stunts too." He said as an after-thought.

-----

Throughout the village:

Everyone who's ever done Naruto wrong in the past suddenly stopped what they were doing and started looking around fearfully, sensing their pride will soon be stripped. They all shared a shiver.

-----

In the clan compounds:

Everyone shivered who was apart of a clan, thinking only one thing. '_Were screwed.' _

-----

Ichiraku's:

_Techui paused while cooking the ramen for a second, smiling deviously as he eyed the 'no loitering' sign in the corner._ '_In due time' _he thought to himself. '_In due time.' _ Instantly the cheft was laughing manically with his hands in the air and money sighns in the back ground. Ayami and the customers sweat-dropped.

"Urm…dad?" Ayami asked wearily as she tugged his sleeve, bringing him back to earth. He chuckled sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Ur…I better get back to that ramen!" he said quickly turning around. Ayami could only shake her head.

-----

All the Naruto-haters out there:

"SHIT!"

----- 

The kids and/or company with the people reacting to Naruto's pranking atmosphere:

"Huh?"

-----

The tourist that have nothing to do with nothing:

"Man this place is weird." They said, looking at their own versions of the freaking out villagers and shinobi.

-----

Mr. Ginger Bread Man:

"PLEEEEEAAAASSSSSE DON'T EAT ME!!!!!!" The delicious cookie yelled as he was slowly being lifted to the gleeful child's mouth. "Farewell cruel wor-" CRUNCH! "AHHHHH" He yelled, looking at his missing leg.

-----

Author:

"Buwauhahahahahahahahaha! Bwahahahahaha! Bwahahahahahahahaha!" A crazy author laughed, rubbing her hands together while wearing a green leaf-costume with a leaf head-band. Yes, she is a Naru-tard. "Soon I will torture all people with pranks because I love Naruto! He must PRANK AND BE HAPPY!!!!!!!!" She yelled.

"Hey, mom says keep it down." Her little sister said popping in the doorway. She gasped. "What the heck are you wearing?!!"

-----

Everyone in the story:

"Why is our author crazy?"

-----

Back to Ichiraku's:

"Why? Why is the world conspiring against me? Nashii, I thought you cared, but you always manage to make sure I have paper-work piles larger than a horse! Do you hate me?" Hayai cried with tears draining from his eyes anime-style. Nashii simply smiled largly in response to his overdramatization. Ayami chucked, having her own mini money episode in her mind. Indeed they would soon have enough to get an upgrade.

Before Hayai could complain further, Teuchi placed two large bowls infront of each of them, and omochi in the middle. Although, Hayai's bowl was the standard size, Nashii's was seven times larger. It was the price of seven bowls. The reason was because it made doing dishes more than a lot easier with how much Naruto and all his disguises eats. Only time he weas ever served a regular bowl was when he was spending the day with unfamiliar company under disguise. It was rare, but often enough.

"Looks delicious Teuchi-san!" Nashii enthused.

"Arigato Teuchi-san" Hayai said with a smile. The said man waved them both off.

"Nah, I should thank you-you two help me keep this place in business." He smiled proudly. "Plus who could resist my cooking; it's the best in the world!!!" He yelled loudly. Ayami smaked her father on the side of the head shaking hers. He looked sheepishly at her and shrugged. This caused them all to laugh.

"Let's dig in before it gets cold!" You-know-who yelled. "Itadakimasu" she said enthusiastically, and in unison with a much-more sedate Hayai. Ayami and teuchi smiled as they both started at the exact same time-and ended at the exact same time. The other customers stared in awe, wondering where the little girl put it all. The bowl was bigger than her head!

"That was delicious." Naruto smiled contently, slowly munching a rice-ball. Hayai nodded as he started on his rice-balls. "These omochi taste different than normal, what did you change?" Nashii asked, curiously eyeing the rice-cake.

"Oh, were just experimenting with some new recipies. You two are the best guina pigs for our tests after all." Ayami smiled sweetly. Naruto nodded while Hayai twitched.

"Guina pigs?" He asked apprehensively. Ayami nodded and chuckled evily.

"Yes, because no matter what we feed you, you'll always come back." She said darkly. "Right?" She asked with menace. Hayai nodded vigerously as a cold shiver of fear ran down his spine. Hokage or not, women were scary when they got like that. She reverted back to her cute self and smiled. "See!" Nashii and Teuchi laughed at that.

-----

Ah, it was a wonderful evening. The kids were in the streets playing tag, the adults were on porches or setting at tables in front of shops and apartment buildings playing cards, drinking a cool glass of lemonade, or just talking. Joggers were bounding up and down streets in their evening work-out. All through out the village everyone was in a good mood.

"NARUTO UZAMAKI YOU WILL DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Well, everyone but the ANBU.

"HAHAHA!" Laughed a happy Naruto as he bounded on the tops of buildings. All the ANBU possible were following him to the village's surprise. Not to mention the Jonins and chuunins chasing him in rage. You could see the flames of the apocolyps as they pursued with the utmost intention of gutting the child. Why? Well lets take a look at the ANBU…well…all shinobi headquarters.

Every single headquarters looked like some sort of deranged daycare candyland mix. The building was turned into chocolate, the posts out of peppermint candy. The grass was made of green suckers. The trees were giant teddie bears and jack in the boxes. The buildings had various child-hood swirls. Out of every window were slides made of licorise and straws. The normally flat roofs were turned to hamburgers, and in the center was a metal fier-wok imitation. The walls were painted with dancing bunnies, faries, the teletubbies, seaseme street characters, and even barny.

That was only the outside.

On the inside, was every adult's nightmare. Blinding lime green was everywhere, with lime green plushies, and lime green over-sized alphabet blocks and bath ducks. Every. Singel. Object. Was. Green. Not just any green, but blinding lime green. What's worse? Mirrors were strategically placed so the sun-light could shine on it, making it thousands of times worse. Kunai were replaced with rattles, robes with dog toys. All were the same color. It was absolute chaos.

When the shinobi emerged, and when they regained their vision, there only thoughts included knives, blood, and a certain blond. Child be damned. That kid was no ordinary child, he was and evil scheming prankster! If another village tried to attack he could have them on their hands and knees after a week of pranking. They shuttered at the thought of Naruto using harmful stuff in his pranks. If he did, they'd all be dead.

It was scary. All their shinobi forces could be killed by a child's prank if he decided to use more lethal methods. Deep down everyone knew that they had to do everything to make sure he stayed 'innocent.' Meaning, keeping anything and everything from planting an ounce of sadistic thought into his head. They'd be screwed then. Nothing short of the fourth could save them if that happened.

They had to admit, Naruto had exceptional skill. He was able to use the most simplest of tatics to trick the experts, and yet complicated ones to get the unexperienced. It was confusing, but challenging non-the-less. Before the pranks they all hated the blond, like the village, but now only an arrogant bunch of them hated Naruto. Somehow he won his way through their hearts.

Now he wasn't a demon in the monster since. He was a demon in pranking since meaning that his pranks were simply…well…scary. Wouldn't you be scared if you found yourself helpless to defend your self at all from getting your hair glued to your pillow or your house turned into pillows? He was secretly known as the Demon Emporer of Pranks.

But at this moment, their appretiation was gone. Naruto, as they all uniformly thought, must die. The said child laughed, seemingly always managing to get out of their grasp. He used the most simplest of tricks to get them. Kawarmi? He kawarmied with paint bombs and stink bombs. Henge? He'd henge boobie traps into him so they would fall into pits of mud or have mud and leaves blow onto him. They were fed up. Luckly for them, this prank would end more happily for them-happy being they aren't slowly eliminated one by one with chakra exhaustion and being stuck in some sort of trap until the hokage, genin, or the remaining chuunin freed them.

Why?

It was seven o' clock.

Naruto chuckled at their chasing as he lead them to the academy. This prank would be a twist to his normal routines. He spoted a dark hooded figure on the wall perfect. Naruto landed in a Sasuke henge and stood to face the oncoming shinobi. They all surrounded him looking murderous.

"No way that henge will work on us!" One of them yelled, seeing him henge. Sasuke-look alike smiled. He took out a kunai and-stabbed himself in the arm. They were thrown of guard by what he did next.

"No, why are you all attacking me, Sasuke Uchiha, without a just reason. Ganging up on one person you cowards, trying to kill me!" He yelled super loud. The shinobi raised eye-brows.

"Lets just get rid of him!" One of them yelled. A loud rang of agreement ran throughout them as they were prepared to attack and impale, kunais ready to be thrown and everything. Then, a low rumble was heard. It started low, but then it got louder. The peebles went from quivering to jumping frantically. They all turned nervously to the growing clouds of dust incircling them. Fear gripped them as they got closer. Apocolypes was upon them indeed as they were shell-shocked.

Lo and behold, coming upon them were…

"IT'S THE FANGILRS!!!!!!" A chuunin yelled, ignigting shouts of fear throughout the shinobi. They were about to jump away when red-glares shone through the trees ominously. They realized they were fangils. They were in trouble…

-----

Naruto henged into another boy and stood beside Sasuke as they watched bloody murder of the shinobi population by a group of little girls. Sasuke, thankful to his disguise, shivered in fear. Somehow billows of flame was emerging from the fro, clings of metal on metal and metal on flesh. Girlish screams from grown men…He was scared, scared to the bone.

Five more minutes of the harping mayhem commenced, before Naruto started to pull Sasuke away from the mosh had seen enough. Sasuke himself was shaking violently in cold fear. Eventually he found himself on the Academy roof, laying down on the grass turf of the garden carefully planted up their. He found that against the bark of the tree was Naruto smiling at him as he came to reality.

"Sorry you had to witness such a disturbing thing. You grow immune to it after a while." Naruto apologized sheepishly. Sasuke shuttered at the thought of 'getting used to it.' That would undoubtedly stay in his mind for the rest of his life. Naruto smiled largely, completely unaware to his jumbled mind.

"You know, now that that's over, we have some unfinished business." Naruto grinned micheviously. Sasuke sat up and looked at the blond. They were three feet apart, and he had a strange feeling from the look in his eyes.

"What's that" He said nervously.

"You owe me some ramen!" Naruto cheered. Sasuke fell anime style.

"Yeah, well okay. Its not like it will take off a big chunk of my allowance anyways." Sasuke shrugged. A random squirell over heard and shook its head to the childs demise.

-----

Sasuke's eyes were popping out of his head in horrid facnation as he saw **fourty-seven bowls **stacked one ontop of another as Naruto continued to eat. Each and every new bowl given to the pile made him want to die right then and their. Other spectators were gathered around with the same expression, absolute shock.

Well, except the ramen vendors, who acted as if it was an everyday thing. Sasuke suspected it was. Naruto sat back after he finished his 50th bowl, much to Sasuke's relief, at the rate he was going Sasuke thought he would never stop. Naruto smiled largely at the vender,Ayame was her name, as she playfully bantered him for his eating habits. Meanwhile…

"So, my young Sasuke, it's time you pay up." Teuchi said all too happily, with an evil glint in his eyes. Sasuke paled as a claw of dread gripped his soul. Seeing immediately that his name wasn't going to get him a meal 'on the house' he sighed in defeat, reluctantly handing the man his silver Visa. Teuchi looked like Christmas had come early, happily swipping the card. Sasuke groaned as the cash register let out a resounding "CHA CHING!"It was the loudest Sasuke heard at any restaurant. He dreaded the day when his mom checked his account. Naruto turned upon the down trodden boy with an insufferable smile.

'_Figures he'd be happy after he spent __**my **__money.' _He thought bitterly to himself.

"Thanks for the meal, anytime you want to bet I cant get the ANBU to do something, you know what to do!" Naruto cheered, giving the boy a thumbs up. A vein buldged from the raven's head. Naruto looked at the clock on the wall. It was nearing 8:00. He adopted a thoughtful expression in scrutinizing the uchiha. He felt uncomfortable under the boys gaze.

"What are you looking at?" Sasuke spit out in hops he'd stop. Naruto seemed to snap out of his reverie at that. His eyes widened for a second as he regained his bearings. Sasuke raised an eye-brow as Naruto chuckled sheepishly. "Sorry about that, I had this crazy idea you would help me in my next prank. Unbeleivable right." Naruto snorted at his last thought, imagining Sasuke setting a prank and then somehow getting caught in it. Sasuke frowned.

"Why do you prank anyways, don't you have anything else to do with your time?" the young boy asked. Ayami and Teuchi, who always keep an eye out on the child, saddened briefly at that. Naruto kept smiling, seeing that the Uchiha's question was genuine, Naruto decided to answer.

"Well, besides the fact that it's hilarious, its also great ninja practice." Naruto said truthfully. Sasuke looked skeptical. "Well, if you really want to find out, you will just have to pull one off yourself. You know who to call when you need to plot a little 'anonymous' revenge." Sasuke shook his head.

"Never will I stoop that low." He said deftly. Naruto smiled largly.

"Oh? You never know what might happen." Naruto said with a glint of micheveousness in his eyes. "Well, its time for another prank, thanks again for the treat Sasuke. See y'all later!" He waved overexaggeratedly at the counter; the two chuckled and waved back. And with that, Naruto left the stand. Sasuke also left, but was confused when he could see no one outside the shop. Did the boy disappear?

Shrugging it off, he began walking towards the Uchiha compound. He dreaded going for he feared the wrath of his mother about him blowing through his credit card. What was his excuse? He lost a bet? Sasuke snorted at that. She'd never go for that in her life. He hung his head in shame. Lost all of his money to the dunce of the class. He wondered if he could get out of trouble by somehow making the money back. He sighed in defeat, that wouldn't happen so quickly.

As soon as Sasuke's foot stepped into the compound, a large reassounding female "SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Was heard. He turned as white as a sheet.

-----

Naruto sat ontop of the water in his favorite training area. (**AN; for the sake of typing, I will call it his FTA) **In his lap was the book the hokage gave him, and a scroll beside him, where he took notes. He had been there for a while now, in absolute concentration. Understanding of what was he was reading slowly creaping up into him. A new world of sealing was opening up to him. He was trying to figure out a way to improve his pranks. He was getting bored with the old methods, and decided to either find or make new ones.

Currently, he was reading a passage about making explosive notes. Now he didn't want to use them because they would cause destruction, not hilarious pranks, but he wanted to modify them. It would be cool to make paint or something explode from them with out having to use a storage seal, that would mean he didn't need a source to be placed into the scroll to use. Currently, he was coming across a strange idea of using light.

Exploding light? Now when you think of it, it was smart. You could temporarily blind your pursuers which could only be good if you want to get away. He was also thinking of using sound too, to make them deaf. From what he was reading, it would be impossible to do such…yet he wanted to try it anyways. Maybe if he could use something akin to a summoning seal to 'summon' the light and sound-yet that was highly dangerous.

Not that he knew what the word dangerous meant unless fangirls followed behind it.

So for this reason he was trying to cross all these seals into one to make what he plans to call ******urusai senkou** A simple name for a simple weapon. Already he has created two seals to exert a constant amount of chakra out so he could lay his stuff on the water without them getting wet. It was difficult because first he had to 'charge' them with his chakra and then make them able to adsorb the environments chakra. The first few times he tried it he was put out of commission due to the seal sucking dangerous amounts of chakra out of him at once. But with a few limiters, and a few more times of unconsciousness, he finally got the seal right.

He was most happy with his invention; it could cover a five feet radius from the center with a chakra surface. Currently, it looked to last for up to two hours. He was hopping it would keep running until he neutralizes it, but it was unlikely with the way the seal was designed. Apperently another skill popped up in his arsenal called math, and he used it to estimate that the thing would last for another two hours. Just in case he had all his waterproof supplies, and even placed a water barrier around the book-something he learned from his sneaking around.

Unlike the water, this particular barrier would hold up for years, because it was not a moving surface, thus the barrier could last longer by not constantly having to adjust to the changing current. Plus it was much smaller-way easier to make a long-term barrier. Moving on from his barriers, Naruto happily held up an overlay of seals. He was finished with his new seal's rough draft. Getting new space on the scroll he recopied the seals much more precisely, charging each one with chakra. He didn't know how much chakra he should use, so he decided to use the necessary amount of chakra to activate each individual seal.

After about one hour of drawing, he was done with a perfect copy. He decided he shoud test it outside of his favorite training ground just in case-he didn't want to destroy the place. Packing up, he walked across the water to stash his stuff away. Then he wandered out the area holding the scroll tightly. Taking off his weights, he placed them into another little cubby of a different tree. "Let's see how fast I can run." He said to himself. Gearing up, he blasted off in a random direction.

While he was running, he came upon the path of a green-clad jonin. The jonin saw him and smiled brightly, the sun glinted off his teeth, which blinded the boy. Once naruto's eyes got used to the light he took on an expression of horror when he saw the _green Spandex. _Naruto shuttered and resisted the urge to gouge his eyes out.

"AH! LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE! A YOUTHFUL CHILD BURNING HIS FLAMES OF YOUTH IN HIS MORNING JOG!!!" He yelled loudly. Naruto flinched back at the volume, his ears being really sensitive at the moment.

"Urm…hi…who are you?" He asked uncertainly, not exactly sure that the man was real or not. '_Must be an elaborate dream' _He thought.

"AH, EXCUSE ME FOR MY INFOMALITY! I AM KONOHA'S GREEN BEAST, MIGHT GAI!!! AND WHO ARE YOU?" He yelled. Naruto was sure it was a dream now, or even a genjutsu, yeah, he ran into a genjutsu. He decided it couldn't hurt to play along.

"I am Konoha's Emperor of Pranks, Uzamaki Naruto!" Naruto yelled in a much more quieter voice, proud of his self-proclaimed title. (The rest of the village would call him something that isn't appropriate for you kiddies to hear, all of them being on the receiving end.)

"AH YOU SPREAD YOUR YOUTHFUL SPIRIT THROUGH YOU YOUTHFUL PRANKS OF YOUTFULNESS!!!!" His voice echoed. '_I have to ask the hokage about this.' _He thought.

"Yes, the youthful flames burn brightly in you as well! Alas, I must leave youryouthful flames of ongoing youth to youthfully test my youthful experiment!" Naruto yelled back happily. Gai smiled joyously.

"AH, YOUR FLAMES ARE SO STRONG! I WILL LEAVE YOU, AND HOPEFULLY YOUR EXPERIMENT WILL WORK!!!!" He yelled speeding of into the distance while Naruto landed in a nice empty random clearing.

"Well that was different." He said to himself thoughtfully, taking out his scroll. "Now, if this works, I will inevitably go blind for a half an hour if I am caught in it sooo…Chakra conducting wires!!!!" He smiled at that. He carefully laid the scroll down in the clearing, and carefully laid a silver wire on top of it. Getting up, he carefully walked out the clearing with the string in hand. To be honest, all the 'carefuls' weren't necessary as long as he didn't use chakra. But he didn't care. Stowing away behind a near-by tree, he channedled chakra into the wire; next he waited. And waited, and waited, and waited. Just when he thought the experiment failed a sizzling was heard, then…

FLASH

Before he could even blink, everything went white, followed by a…

BOOOOM!!!

A loud deafening roar sounded through the clearing. The next thing Naruto knew was seeing darkness and hearing bells and whistles going off in his head. The clearing no longer had the forest smell, now it had a weird smell. He didn't know how long it was until he regained his bearings. Slowly he came to realize he was on the ground somewhere, something hard and splintery beneath him. He also noticed he was not in any type of comfortable condition, his body was like a ragdoll on the uneven surface. His body stung with numbness, and the ringing assult on his ears slowly died down. Slowly he realized, peering into the darkness, that he had his eyes open. It took him a few more minutes for his brain to straighten itself out.

'_It was a failed experiment.' _He thought. '_I made the light and sound too strong, the thing is supposed to be a distraction not a weapon of destruction. Although this would be useful in a ninja battle, not for harmless pranks.' _He realized then he still couldn't move. '_I will have to decrease the power somehow, although that is kind of hard to do when I can't see exactly what happened. Oh well, my sight will come back eventually.' _He sighed. He then heard the sound of approaching ninja. Sucking his chakra in, he felt the auras of the oh-so-familiar ANBU, and the hokage himself. '_At least the old man is coming.' _

"What the hell!" He heard somebody exclaim what was probably on everyone else's mind.

-----

"What the hell!" the rat ANBU yelled what was on everyone's minds at the time. Sarutobi looked at the destruction in concern. The clearing was _melted._ He didn't even know how that could have happed. _'To create this destruction, a great amount of heat would have been needed. That was most likely caused by the orb of light earlier. Plus the sound, it was so loud it would be correct to assume the force of it blew away the trees.' _He eyed the burned remains of what looked to be a scroll. '_Who could have done this? With my luck it was probably…' _It was then his eyes caught the glint of sunny blond hair. Before anyone could blink he was over by the area, looking down upon the mass of splintered trees to see Naruto laying there in an awkward position, staring blankly into nothingness. '_Damn it! What have you gotten yourself into now?' _He thought with more concern than anger.

"Naruto, can you hear me?" He asked, gently trying to move the child. Naruto blinked. '_Huh, that's funny, I can't respond.' _He thought to himself in a detatched sort of way. Sarutobi sighed as he lifted him up. He turned to his ANBU. "Well, from what I can tell this was a training accident, but I want you all to search the area in case it is other wise, can't be too careful." He said. The ANBU nodded, before disappearing past the destroyed greenery.

Sarutobi himself disappeared into the hospital.

-----

"Naruto? How do you feel?" Sarutobi asked the boy when he opened his eyes. Naruto blinked a few times before turning his head over to the old man.

"I feel just fine, except I can't see." He heard the other man sigh.

"It is as I feared. The doctors said their was nothing they could do about that." He said sadly. Naruto smiled.

"No worries Old Man, my vision will come back soon enough." Naruto promised. "Or, by my calculations it will." He said. Sarutobi frowned.

"How do you figure that?" He asked.

"Oh, it's the way I designed by experiment, so that nobody would go perminantly blind. Since Ninja's sight can recover from a light of 122 magawatts. Although I used to much in my experiment and reached about 284 megawatts, but since I was using charka to envelope my body I only recived the maximum amount a ninja can witstand which is 134 megawatts. So since I am a child my eyes are less adapt to heal in the speed an adult would. But also I have more of a healing ability to it because I am younger and my cells can regenerate faster than a full grown body that's way past peuberty. Thus, I add my age to my…well, that's too much math. It will come back eventually!" Naruto smiled with a thumb up.

"Where did you figure all that out." He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Library, I don't know which one though." Naruto replied. He heard Sarutobi sigh.

"Stupid hidden-genious blondes getting themselves into mischief all the time, making me have heart attacks." He muttered to himself. Naruto smiled.

"I love you too Old Man!" He cheered. Sarutobi sighed again.

"What am I going to do with you?" He asked. Naruto looked thoughtful.

"Urm…buy me ramen!!!" He cheered. Sarutobi ruffled his hair in response. "As soon as you're healed." He responded.

-----

"COME BACK HERE UZAMAKI!!!!!" A nurse yelled in an empty hospital room, the window open and a rope of sheets hanging from it. A scrurry of nurses and jonins were now looking for the elusive blind blond.

How could he escape while being blind? Let's just say he has his ways.

Naruto chuckled as he masked his chakra excellently, using its special side affects he discovered earlier on in the story. Oh yes, now he found a very practical use for it.

Not that he was using it all the time.

No, he was a firm believer in having many ways to skin a cat. Instead he took this as an opportunity to strengthen his other senses since he can't always depend on his sight. He used his chakra-sensing abilities when he needed to but his use of that went from a lot to only in tight spaces. It was quite fun, to be blind and still be able to dupe the ANBU. Though he didn't get big headed over this. No, he realized that he still had to many close calls to really be called safe. Also if the ANBU weren't restricted to not hurting him, he probably would have went down long ago. Plus, he pranks saved him most of the time, that and his uncanny ability to be unpredictable. Litterally, who would've thought the blond could make holograpgic images with mirrors for a brief distaction?

So he always used what ever chance he got in training with the ANBU, unbeknownst to them. Really if they stopped chasing him he would stop pranking, because then it was no longer fun. Sarutobi tried telling them that but naruto masterfully plays them like violins. He even got some the of the interrogation specialists go on 'mental holidays' meaning the boy was driving them up the wall, across the ceiling and down the other side. Sarutobi swore that if a war was raged on konoha right now, they'd just have to send out Naruto and he'll give them all heart attacks within a week. That or blind them with his color pranks. He shuttered at the brief memory of bright orange and lime green lining the walls. He saw shades of grey for weeks after. That was the most horrid prank. It was a very sad sight to see everyone fall into traps like no tomorrow. In the end, they were all somehow wearing elephant-clown-ballerina costumes with color-shifting-bunny-shapped hair, unnaturally furry legs that wouldn't disperse, and were walking on mini-stils that were glued to their feet. How? When ever the ANBU were questioned, let's just say the subject changed _really _fast.

As of the moment, bombs of paint let off in Konoha, covering the clan compounds with snow white paint. Only problem was the sun was shining…brightly. He, not being able to see in the first place, smiles as he heard the screams of 'I CANT SEEE!!" Being yelled throughout the clans. Ah yes, that was nice. That started the dominoes rolling as the ANBU immediately pursued, and was lead through trap, after trap, after trap. They'd long ago gave up the hope that he'd run out of traps. Once on a full scale search of konoha liteally 1,356 pranks and traps were discoved. They thought that they solved the problem when not one hour later Naruto performed a prank, and led them through as many traps as he could before the ANBU gave up.

There were only so much mud pies a person could take.

Sarutobi was taking a vacation. He didn't know how the blond could cause so much trouble _**blind. **_He decided that something unnatural was going on, and would investigate…later. Right now he was sitting at a researved waterfall in the Konoha forest. Only to be reached in severe emergencies, like the earth is ending or something. He sighed in relaxation. Just ignore the made pranking chaos going on in the village a ways away from him. All the damage from the pranks disappears at the end of the day anyway. How did the boy do that? Heh, another question to ask him later.

_Meanwhile; _

The streets were all blue. Blue blue blue blue blue. The buildings were blue. The monument was blue, a lot of people were wearing blue…how? That goes into "The Worlds Greatest Mysteries" Category. Who? Well, if you look and see the _Hundreds _of blue shinobi chasing a laughing orange-wearing blonde, you'll know who.

"SUCKERS!" He laughed, springing off another roof top, the shinobi followed, only to get caught in a net somehow. The ten in the net struggled visciously against the resistant rubber thing, only for it to start to melt attaching to them. They soon found themselves stuck to each other. Some of the shinobi that stayed behind tried to help free them only to get cought in it too. Kunai wouldn't work because they only got stuck. Nobody wanted to see if it was flammable with a flame jutsu, water jutsus didn't work, wind didn't work, earth didn't work. Yep, they were stuck for a while.

Meanwhile, the other torrent of Shinobi were chasing the king prankster. Naruto took a sharp turn down a building, gliding through cloths wires, a few (chuunins) unwisely followed, only to get caught up in the wires and struggled in vain to get out. Their flailing limbs only worsened the entanglement. It was slightly disturbing watching shinobi hang form cloths wires with undergarments on them. There goes wave number two.

Naruto led them into Konoha's forest, where he ran across a lake, surprising many. A wave followed exactly (chuunins and jonins) only for the water to explode and trap them in a very large water prision. Even worse, the surface of water started spinning like a whirl pool…uh oh. There goes wave number three.

Naruto managed to evade the yelling shinobi in the forest by a searies of dodges, jumps, dives, sharp turns, faints, and of coarse, booby traps. Which is what wave number three was experiencing. This was the wave of ANBU and Jonins that stayed back from the fray, because getting close was lethal. They were about to learn they weren't back far enough…as they made their belated trip through the trees, the leaves turned orange, and then to spiders. Many stopped in their tracks with horror on their (jonin) faces. The leaves jumped, turned to spiders, and attacked. Waves upon waves of orange spiders attacked the back of the pursuing squad, overwealming them by the numbers. Their screams were so sweet. Out goes wave four, five, and six.

Naruto's cackling stopped abruptly, as he skidded to the side to avoid the ANBU that managed to get infront of him. He smiled as they surrounded him.

"Haha, we got you know Uzamaki!" One yelled triumphantly. Another grabbed him by his collar. Naruto smiled widely.

"Three…two…one"

-----

BOOOOOOOM

Sarutobi was startled awake from his nap at the explosion. Turning to look behind him, he saw a gyser of ranbow colors streak into the sky, painting the trees, and somehow the clouds turned colors too. He sighed. "Okay, now I just have to know all his tricks." He murmered, letting curiousity. end his relaxation time, he went off to find a certain blond.

-----

Naruto sat in his FTA, grinning like an idiot as he recorded his results furiously. "Oh man, operation: Prototype test of Forest Duckchase is a success!" He grinned happily, scribbing down more stuff with his pencil. Every now and then he would adopt a thoughtful express, erase something, and scribble furoisly on the pad.

"Lets see, the sticky web was too loose, I need to limit more of the mobility. Its resistance to chakra worked nicecly. Ah, and you gotta love the classic water jail-washer- one. Oh, never have I seen Ninja so clean! But I need more than just one central whirl pool, to cause lots of turbulence. The spider one was prettymuch perfect except they succumb to flames too easily, thank goodness for the fire precautions I put in that one!" He told himself. Naruto popped up, sensing someone coming. He whipped around to see the hokage there.

"Hiya Old Man, what's up?" He asked happily, seeing the one and only person he would want in his FTA. Sarutobi sat down next to him with an audiable 'plop.' Naruto did the same too.

"It seems that my responsibility as a hokage entitles me to know exactly how you manage to completely ignore all laws of nature in your pranks." He said. He then eyed the scroll. "And how are you writing when you're blind?" He asked. Naruto shrugged. "I channel my chakra into the paper and it helps me see it. " He said like it was the most normalist thing in the world. Sarutobi put that in the 'ingenious-inventions-from-the-supposed-dunce' pile.

"Oh, so you want to know my tricks?" Naruto asked in a statement like way. "Well I could explain them to you if ya want, but there are so many. Maybe we can talk about a few everyday, you know, to lesson the mental overload." Naruto said. Sarutobi looked at the blond in surprise.

"You know, if I didn't know better I'd say you are a genious that doesn't want to admit it. " Sarutobi said. "Then again, maybe if you'd concentrate on paper tests more it would be official." He added. Naruto blushed sheepishly.

"Well, yeah…that. " He chuckled. Getting back on point, he rolled up his scroll and asked. "So what do you want to learn first?" Sarutobi thought about it.

"Where do you get all your supplies from? You can't possibly buy that much paint or wire, factories don't even make them as fast as you get them to pop out of nowhere. "He said. Naruto tipped his head.

"Oh, I get those from the ground. You know chakra manipulation with the elements thing. Yeah, I'd figure if I knew what the wires were made of I could manipulate it into other things. So I practiced and practiced with those chakra control exersizes used from the different villages, and combined them to make wires and stuff. I had to use a bunch of handseals at first to make it work but it now its down to three. Its cool because it converts back to its orginal elements when its finished, and returns to where it came from after it expires. Problem is I can only make them last for seventeen hours so far though, but I am slowly improving that. I can also vary the time it lasts too." He finished. Sarutobi had to hide his surprise.

'_What the hell, he created a whole new jutsu! This could change the whole Shinobi world, not only will shinobi never be limited to the supplies they have on them immediately but they can also leave literally no trace of their appearance in infiltration missions. Although, if this gets out it will destroy Konoha's overall economy. We'll stop trading with other countries for supplies, which will make them stop trading with us, which will always end bad.' _He thought.

Out loud, he asked ;

"What about those traps, like the wire-turned-to-goo stuff." He asked Naruto smiled.

"Oh, by adding some seals I can make the elements rearrange themselves into new materials. They don't last as long as the originally made material but its catching up. " He finished Sarutobi nodded.

"And the traps? Where do you come up with that stuff?" He asked.

"Nowhere, I plan some of the more advanced ones before hand, but for the simple ones I simply come up with on the spot. When I am inventing new ones I of coarse plan them out. I basically just use or modify all the traps I learned of during my reconosanse of books missions." He shrugged. Sartutobi sweat-dropped.

'_Oh the Irony, strongest village of the Shinobi Nations being over taken by an almost nine year-old. Hate to see what would happen if we sent him to another village. If I was in for world conquest Naruto would defiantly have everyone else at their knees in two days.' _

"And what of your blindness? How can you pull pranks with that?" He asked. Naruto grinned broadly.

"Oh, well sometimes I just use my senses. I can't always depend on my eyes you know! Other times, I use chakra, but that doesn't work all the time because it makes me an easy traking target. It's useful for doing regular things like writing though. When I am in tight sqeezes I suck in all my chakra to read the signatures around me-"

"Wait, you suck in your chakra?" He asked. Naruto looked at him.

"Yeah, it's really cool! I found out when I was first learning to hide my chakra. When I suck it in I can see all around me, it was really weird, everything was all glowy and stuff. I at first got confused with all the glowing things moving around and stuff. Especially the bugs. Took me a while to get used to a bunch of moving glowing things, they are very distracting, but here I am, able to avoid ANBU while being blind." He said proudly. Sarutobi blinked. And then blinked again. He smiled appraisingly for what the child managed to think up. Ruffling his head, he said.

"Aren't you going to be a surprising ninja? Keep it up and you'll be a hokage in no time!" He laughed. Naruto smiled widly.

"And I'll get that hat of your old head so you can go retire someplace!" Naruto cheered. Sarutoi chuckled.

"I look forward to it. "He said.

"How about we go spar to see how far in weaponsly you got. I've seen you practicing." Naruto suddenly got very excited. He popped up **very **fast. "What are you waiting for!!!" He yelled, taking off to run, and falling flat on his face. He got up blusing. "Opps forgot I can't exactly see now for a moment." He chuckled. Sarutobi laughed and followed the blond, who was bouncing with energy through the woods. The child would defiantly be a, how did the Nara's put it? Troublesome Ninja.

-----

Naruto and Sarutobi faced eachother; Naruto held his best sword and Sarutobi held a thick staff. Naruto close his eyes for a second and Sarutobi felt his chakra disappear. '_Well that's the best chakra concealing I've ever seen.' _ He thought idly. His eyes narrowed as he saw a white glow illuminate him, flashed, and blinked away. '_Hm…interesting' _He thought. They were posed in battle stances. Naruto flashed a goofy grin before becoming serious.

"Begin" Sarutobi said. Instantly Naruto was running at him with his sword. Sarutobi blocked his strike with his boton, and twirled out the way. Naruto jumped back from the momentum of impact and launched himself again, bringing his sword down in a slash towards the kages neck. Sarutobi dodged easily, grabbing his arm and flinging the child behind him. Naruto flipped like a cat and skidded to a land on his feet, if a bit wobbly. He smiled before he launched himself at the kage again.

Sarutobi smiled in response as he dodged the blonds strike, and blocked his follow up kick. Naruto dodge as Sarutobi extended a punch towards him. The boy surprised the old man by hopping of the punch and bringing his leg down in a ax-kick towards Sarutobi's head. In response, Sarutobi used his staff to fling the boy back up into the air. Naruto did some flips that landed him safely onto the ground. He quickly jumped from the staff that pounded into the spot he was before.

Doing an unusual mid-air spin, he aimed his sword at Sarutobi's back. As he expected, the old-man dodged and brought up his staff to gut the child. Naruto jumped onto the staff for a boost as he lept towards the hokage's head. Sarutobi swiftly dodged, grabbing the boys shoulder and twisting him to fly in the other direction. Naruto twisted in his grasp, and managed to swing his sword at Sarutobi's arm. The boy missed, and was sent flying through the air. Naruto rightened himself intime to leap vertically off a tree. Being launched into the air above the clearing. He began to spin, his blade pointed out.

Sarutobi looked on in awe as the little hurricane of sharp metal headed with accuracy towards him. Not planning to see how hard the child could hit, not how sharp his sword was, he leapt into the air above the child as he was just about to hit. Using his staff, he wacked the still-spinning boy, causing him to crash into a tree. Naruto rolled to the ground.

Sarutobi's face showed concern as he made contanct with the ground again. It was wipped off though as the simply leapt back up and attacked as if he was never slammed into a tree. Sarutobi smiled at his thick head as he swung his staff once more at the child. Naruto was hit with it, but somehow managed to swing around it, and launch himself at the aged man, doing a gracefully fast uppercut with his sword. Sarutobi dodged as the sword met his staff. Using that to his advantage, Sarutobi reversed the momentum and sent the child up into the air. Naruto landed on his feet in a tree.

The boy launched himself again, Sarutobi used his staff to guide Childs attacks away from him, throughing a punch and kick in now and again. Naruto went all out, incorporating slashes with punches and jabs with kicks. He used any situation to his adventage. He'd take a punch to leap off of it, he'd take being thrown as an advantage to revearse the momentum to attempt to decapacitate the hokage.

Sarutobi was surpsised to seye how advanced the boy was. Naruto still had quite a few problems in his forms and such before he could be considered average genin level, but in the amount of time he was given his rate of learning was amazing. The boy was also improvising with his surroundings and fighting style in his attacks. As he dodged another attack and sent the boy flying back once more, he had to respect the boy'f flexability, in that he always recovered from any position he was pressed into. He also wasn't predicatble at all.

Well, sometimes he was, like when he got over emotionall. But even then he had some sort of surprise hidden in supposedly brash and foolish move. Boy was the child ever the little cunning brat! Naruto tried to press the hokage, which garnered the old-man's approval, but he was a long ways away before he could really challenge Sarutobi. He tried valiantly though. Sarutobi chuckled as he caught the boy by his ankles, hanging him in mid-air. Naruto was breathing heavily, but he was smiling through his gasps.

"You did well, but the road is still long grasshopper." Sarutobi said in a 'all-knowing' voice. Naruto laughed.

"Yes master, please help me endulge in this art!" He added. That made both burst in laughter. Sarutobi let go of the boy's ankles and he did a half-back-flip to get himself upright.

"Now, let's work on your faults." Sarutobi said.

-----

"Hm…" naruto said, following a particularly fuzzy cat as he was traveling to the academy. He still couldn't see, but even he forgot about sight with how well he adapted to the change. The cat seemed to know he was supposed to go to the Academy and was leading him there directly; if only to get rid of it's stalker. "You know, I've always wanted a pet." Naruto said.

"Meow" was the response.

"But," He sighed in a depressed manner. "My landlord won't let me have one, even though the building is full of pets. Besides, I wouldn't leave any thing with a soul their alone, never know when those stupid 'radical' villagers want to come raid and destroy my place." He said the last part almost bitterly. "On the bright side, I can redecorate often!" He brightened. "I can never get board with the place then!" He smiled.

"Meoooow" The cat responded.

"But you know, it's a lot better than before. I used to get chased by mobs! Heh, no wonder getting faster was the first thing on my list, can't get chased if I'm gone before they can gather any more than one person. Plus, with my ingenous ways (Here is where he sticks out his chest in pride) of making money it doesn't matter how much they break in and destroy my stuff, it is all replaced before the day is over. Suckers." He grinned.

"Mreow!" The cat said.

"Yeah, yeah, I have my faults. My grades are one of them. I probably would be an A student if I tried but that will give the villagers one more reason to try and enact 'revenge.' Jees, revenge for what! All I ever did was set up a few hamless pranks (**AN: **coughliarcough) and they act like I blew up half the village! (**AN: **Which he did with paint that one time…) Plus they've been against me way before that. I actually am safer pulling pranks because everyone is hesitant to attack for fear of being pelted with goo and itching powder out of nowhere." He said annoyed.

"Meow" The cat said.

Naruto sighed depressed. "And my birthday is coming up next month. Their unfairness really runs out of control around the date of my birth. They start being really nasty during the first through the twentieth. I don't even know how they know to attack me then, I've never told anyone my birthday. I even wrote a fake one on the enrollment slips! Maybe they just do it because of the Kyuubi festival. But why when it's a time for celebrating the Kyuubi's death?" He asked pondering.

"purrrrrrr." The cat said as they stood out in front of the school. Naruto pushed his wonderings to the back of his mind as he waved good-bye to the cat.

"See ya, if you come during lunch I'll give you a little." Naruto said as he rushed to the door.

"Meow! See you then!" the cat said as the boy disappeared beyond the threshold of the door. Naruto froze as the door swung shut behind him. A few moments later he was shaking his head muttering something about drugs being snuck into his breakfast as he walked in early as could be in the class room. Sitiing in his desk he sighed as he peered out the window to see(in his case sense the chakra of) birds having some kind of epic battle in the air. One flew in and attacked the other sending a set of fluttering wings frantically trying to regain itself, then that bird attacking the first one. Swooping low, twisting around each other, sometimes it looked as if they would collid but they missed by millimeters. It was fasinating, especially when he could see their chakras. That made it look beautiful.

Idly Naruto remembered sitting by this same window watching much of the same scene in the past, feeling so chained down, until he heard the words that changed him…gave him some hope in the future.

A ninja's greatest weapon is deception.

Naruto then took it a task to make himself look foolish in the eyes of others, and only let his precious people know his full potiential, Sarutobi was one. He frowned when he thought of Iruka. He never really thought to show Iruka what he was really made of before. But then again, he sighed, Iruka probably already knows with how much him and the hokage seem to collaborate on his punishments for his pranks and stuff. He looked out towards the early sun. "I still should show him though…maybe not immediately…I'll do it when I graduate." Naruto said to himself. Iruka was one of his precious people, but he also was a part of his cover. Not that he didn't trust the teacher, he did that immensily, he just didn't want Iruka to know his true capabilities yet.

Naruto smiled as he fingered the scroll in his vest. Sarutobi-Ojiisan gave it to him to help him improve on his sword style. It didn't teach anymore techniques, it supplied him with ways to better improve on what he's learned so far. Naruto wondered about the future. What will become of him? Did he even have a plan for the future besides wanting to become hokage? Heck he didn't really even think about what he would have to go through to get there.

'_When I finish with this prank so that Old man and Ayami can upgrade their place, then I will start a plan for the future, and ask lots and lots of questions to Sarutobi and Iruka.' _Naruto promised to himself. '_Besides, I can't become hokage without a plan…and I am going to need some more people on my side.' _He nodded as he leaned back in his chair, eyes closed. He relaxed, closing himself off from the outside world. He started seeing ramen bunnies and broth-filled swimming-pool-size bowls and knew he was dreaming.

-----

Poke.

Twitch.

Shake.

Twitch.

Glare.

Pop!

Naruto sat up in his seat as he felt the pressuring glares of death and destruction. He looked up towards Sakura. Wondering why she was so upset, he looked around to see the duck-haired uchiha sitting on the side of him and Ino in the last seat, smirking victoriously. Naruto sighed as he stood up to move towards the back. He didn't want to be forced from his seat today.

"Don't have to get violent today Sakura." He sighed still sleepy and a little depressed from his earlier thoughts with the cat. He could sense the annoyance and loneliness in Sasuke's arua. He also sensed a quick change in Saruka's arua. He looked towards her and saw she was scowling at him.

"Do I look violent to you?" She asked warningly, flames coming into her eyes as she had an iron fist raised.

"I never said you were violent!" He said all too quickly, backward-walking to the back of the class before she could blink. Naruto sat in the seat next to Kiba and Hinata. Kiba grinned teasingly and Hinata simply blushed and twidled her fingers. "Hey guys!" He said happily. Akamaru barked, and Kiba gave a "hey yourself." Grinning big. Shino below him nodded, Hinata stuttered a "hi", Shikamaru scowled and said "Troublesome" And Choji offered him a chip, which Naruto ate.

Still grinning Naruto felt a pang of envy from somewhere in the class room. He looked around until he spotted Sasuke giving a side-long glare at him. It was small and unnoticeable, but it was there. Before Naruto could even think about it much Iruka came in holding a folder that read 'tests' The whole class groaned in agony, except Naruto who was grinning. He could see the word 'test'

It was time to put his plans into action.

-----

**AN: Dun Dun Dun!!!!!!!! What will Naruto do now that he has his sight back! What grand prank will he perform in the village? What are his plans for the future? Find out in the next chapter of Acadmey Days!**

******urusai senkou-noisy flash**

*******

**Alright seriously. I am sorry about having you readers wait six (or is it seven?) long months for the next chapter. The reason I put this at the end because my story behind this is long and I didn't want to ruin the chapter with this. **

**First, I couldn't write anything because I was going to summer math classes; Pre-calculus, Pre-trigonometry, Geometry and Algebra. Between the long hours I spent their, the long bus rides, and having to cook breakfast, lunch, dinner, do laundry, and help my siblings with their summer assignments, I really had no time to write a full chapter. (I did finish a chapter twice but each time they deleted, I don't want to get into that story at all.) **

**Immediately after my classes were over, I had to pack up and move to a new state. All of you who have moved know how much time it takes to fully settle into a new place. Three days after I moved, I started High School. It just so happens my highschool is one of those prestigis ones that give you lots and lots and lots and lots of homework and projects. During that time I wrote whatever I could in my free time but I didn't get that much. I spend fourteen hours in school and for afterschool preograms, so I don't get home until late. No matter how much I want to sleep I still have a quarter-pound of homework to finish. When I am done with that ( at around 1:00 in the morning) then I sleep until the morning (which for me is (4:30) **

**I was able to really work on this chapter during the thanksgiving break. (Thank-you Lord for giving me a rest in school work!) So here is my chapter. I am not going to make promises that I will have chapters out super fast now, my schedule is unpredictable, but now that science fair is over I should have more time to work on this story, so you wont (hopefully) have to wait this long again. **

**Thank-you for still reading my story!**

**~littlemoontiger **


	13. Chapter 13:I'll have one bowl of miso

**Chapter 13: "I'll have two bowls of miso…"**

**Overview: **Will one little boy, dead last in school, disliked by the majority of the village, manage to persuade more business into Ichiraku's? What games does he have up his sleeve this time? Will Sarutobi be able to keep things under control? Let's see…

**AN: **_Thank-you my reviewers. I am glad my story is loved so much by you all. Of course I feel even guiltier now for the wait I put you all through. I myself hate waiting! To answer one of my reviewers, yes the story will end when he graduates from the academy. But, I will put out a sequel! I am having much too much fun to end this anytime (too) soon._

_Thanks for reading and reviewing, enjoy!_

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Naruto sat upon a tree branch, swinging his legs over one side as he looked out over the village from atop of the hokage monument.

His eyes looked beyond the stone heads into the view of the village. From where he was, he saw an army of tiny ants at the base of the tall tree, milling around in groups big enough for him to see at his height. They carried leaves and such as they marched, also making them targets.

In the village, the people milled around. Masses of children were playing in the parks and daycares. Teens traveled in groups hanging out by spending all their parents' money on cloths and other fads. Adults were seen carrying in objects such as a desk or loads of groceries, and small children rode on a few backs as they commuted through the village.

The sun was low in the sky. Naruto estimated about two hours of light left before the world was to be bathed from the light of the moon and stars. The weather was still warm, perfect for hanging out and being with loved ones outdoors. Naruto sighed, his eyes glittered with sadness.

"I guess I won't be sleeping in my apartment." He chuckled bitterly. Even though it was even better condition than before, especially know that he could reinforce and protect it against future attacks with seals; it would always remain the same empty apartment. It would always be devoid of life waiting for his return. When he went their all he had to greet him was the walls and the furniture. That's why ever since he was freed from his suppressing orphanage at age five; he's taken every opportunity to sleep in the woods.

In the forest, you didn't expect a loving mother to come out from behind a tree and tuck you in amongst the leaves and dirt. You didn't expect to see a father cooking up dinner for you amongst the river banks. You didn't expect a little sibling to come out of a cave and bug you for some company.

That was found in a home.

When Sarutobi first put him in an apartment, he was the happiest boy alive. To be able to wake up without fear of a beating because he was slow or the room was a mess was welcomed. He was able to move around, to cook and eat food without having to worry about the repercussions of eating too much, or touching something he wasn't supposed to. He was able to go to bed without worry or fear. He felt so free then. Despite that he still had the memories that hunted him. He would jump up in the middle of the night expecting someone there waiting for him, or wake up in the morning expecting to feel the sting of still open wounds.

Not soon after he started living in the apartment, did he realize he didn't have to fight for survival as he slept. As soon as he found that out, he also realized how lonely the place was by himself. It didn't take to many nights of bad dreams of the past to make him wish someone would be there, to assure him of reality.

So he took to the forest. It was welcoming. He already knew basic survival. The matrons put him in situations where he had to work –and get lost-deep in the forest anyways. He grew up, learning by trial and error what plants to eat, how to fish and how long food should be cooked. He learned how to start his own fires by eavesdropping on campers who decided to stop just outside his hiding spot in a tree trunk or an altered animal burrow.

In the forest, he had to fight for survival, but he didn't have to fight nightmares. It was in there that he began to form mental blocks from his past memories. Those blocks allowed him to withstand his empty apartment once more.

The Sadaime helped a lot. Even though at first Naruto rejected the helpful, kind kage. Being around abusive care takers for the first few years of his life made him understandably distrustful around people. But eventually, mostly because he didn't want to return to the reality of being alone, he started to cling to the kage. Naruto was very impressionable at that age, and mentally vulnerable. So when the kind, happy, strong Sarutobi came into his life it made Naruto want to be like that.

That was why he originally wanted to be a Hokage. His other reasons; to make the people of the village respect him and to follow his greatest role model came later on.

He snickered a bit; he still remembers the frantic ANBU squads sent out to find him. Sarutobi always got so flustered when he went missing. A few times Naruto would hide just to see the elder man blow a gasket. Yes, only the blond could get the ever so patient hokage to curse and shout while running after a child wearing his pajamas and a set of peacock feathers. Naruto grinned as he remembered Sarutobi constantly complain that taking care of Naruto was harder than running a day care, and that Naruto was taking years off his life with the stress the he caused. And that was before the pranks. Yes, Naruto had a place on the wall of 'Konoha's most memorable trouble-makers.'

His smile fades away as somehow his original train of thought snuck back in. The thought of even though he has friends and family-like people in his life; he still has the cruel reality that he has no one at home to go to. Even though he has learned to ignore the villagers' hate and cruelty most of the time, he can't ignore the scenes of loving family embracing each other, laughing, having good times. He especially hates scenes when family fight with one another. Because…if he had a family, he wouldn't want to spend one second embracing them in anger or hatred.

Scenes like that pain him more than their glares and words ever could. How can somebody hate their family? He sighed and looked down. Even ants had family to go home to.

'_Why is it…that I don't have any family? Why don't I have parents, uncles, aunts, sisters, cousins? Did nobody want me? Did they all die? Do I have family that just doesn't know about me? Is there some unknown cousin or aunt in the world? Did my parents leave and plan to come back? Or…do they hate me too…like the villagers…' _Tears started to well, despite his attempts to fight them. '_Why am I hated? Why do they act like I am some monster reborn…like…like I am something like the Kyuubi…I'm not…I can't be…no matter what they say or do .No I will not accept that. They must hate me for something else. Maybe my parents were traitors, maybe that's why Sarutobi won't tell me about them…maybe…' _

"_No! My parents weren't traitors. I bet they were noble and strong. I know my mother was the most beautiful woman alive, I know me and my father are a lot alike. In fact, I bet they loved ramen like me! Besides…the villagers hate me for me. If they hated my parents then they would whisper stuff like 'look it's the son of that traitor' or something hinting at that. Yet, they call me demon spawn. My parents couldn't have been demons. Maybe…it's because of my birthday." _

Naruto's whole demeanor fell as his eyes held a broken look_._

'_Maybe it's because I was born on the day of the Kyuubi attack. Maybe it's because I have blonde hair and blue eyes like the Yondaime. Maybe it's because I look like him and was born on that day…because then I would always remind them of what they lost. But I've seen lots of people with blond hair and blue eyes, especially the Yamanaka. They are praised and looked up upon. But then again, my hair looks way more like the hokage than they could ever dream.' _He chuckled at the bittersweet thought.

He looked back up with a plastic smile on, eyes glossed up to match. He leapt up to a determined stand pointing at the village.

'_Nah, nothing they say or do will keep me down! I won't let their misinformed opinions ruin my day. Just wait-when I become the greatest hokage they'll see. Ha!_

"YOU HEAR ME KONOHA! I AM GOING TO BE THE BEST HOKAGE EVER! BELIEVE IT!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. His voice echoed down into the village, bouncing off the buildings and trees all the way to the borders of the fire lands. He leapt off the tree branch and landed with a small grunt. '_Have to work on my landings.' _He thought as he developed a mysterious smile. "Let's go get some customers." He said, taking out an antique Victorian-dressed doll with curly brunette hair and innocent green eyes.

-----

"It was a nice day for guard duty…unlike the stormy rainy days." A chuunin said to his companion as they both walked back to headquarters, being relieved from their posts. It was a quiet evening and only a soft ticking sound was heard.

"It was still boring…I wish something would have happened!" his friend whined. His mouth was abruptly covered by the first.

"Shush…you want that little trouble-making monster to come to prank us!" He said in fear. His companion's eyes widened and he shook his head violently. The first removed his hand. "Good." He said, looking around cautiously.

"Have to be careful what I wish for." The second said resolutely, also looking around in paranoia. They heard nothing but the steady ticking.

_Tick. Tick. Tick._

"Man what is that noise it's been with us as soon as we left out posts." The second said.

"You know your right…where is it coming from?" They both began to try and find the location of the sound. The spun around, only to find it was coming on all sides of them.

"Who's there?!" They called in unison, readying their hands to get kunai at a second's notice.

"You better come out at once!" The first said threateningly.

Feminine laughter.

They both whipped around behind them to see a collectors doll; instinctively they threw their kunai at it, whacking the doll in the head and chest. They jumped back immediately. The doll toppled over and the ticking stopped. '_Eat!' _She whispered. The night grew silent and the air was tense. Giving each other a look, they both cautiously approached the doll. It was a normal doll, though the kunai sliced off half the head at a diagonal, so only one nostril and the mouth remained. The one in the chest left the upper half separated from the lower. The second one kicked the doll. It rolled to the side showing it was nothing but plastic.

"Probably one of that brat's pranks." The first said, still looking around cautiously. Both began the guarded trek to headquarters in complete silence.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Both whipped around behind them to see the same doll, perfectly fine.

"Kai!" The second yelled, trying to disperse the genjutsu. It didn't work. It was real. The first threw another kunai at it and sliced the doll in half. It fell in two parts, three feet away from each other. The ticking stopped.

"Damn…this has got to be that little prankster." The first said. "COME OUT UZAMAKI!!!" he yelled. Only answer was the ticking.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

Both shinobi stood back to back, slowly and meticulously scanning the area. As they circled around, they found the sliced doll missing.

"Where did the doll go?!" The second asked in alarm, calling the first's attention.

"Oh shit." The first said, as he whipped around to see a perfectly fine doll staring at them. Her velvet burgundy dress with the white trimmings shimmered eerily in the pale glow of the street lights. Her large green, innocent eyes stared through their souls. Her plastic smile decorated in pink teased them.

"Let's get out of here." The first said. Both then jumped to the roofs a few blocks away. The ticking faded.

"What was that?" The second asked.

"Let's just get back to headquarters. We have to report this to Hokage-sama." The first said. With that, they both began their trek, all was silent but their breathing and the ticking sound.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

Both whipped around to see the doll, smiling at them, teasing them. Her eyes stared through their souls, sparkling mischievously. The white bib-like trimmings glowed eerily under the dim glow of street lamps.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

They turned back around and walked quickly, trying to get away. They whipped around to see the doll the same distance away as before, about five feet. They turned away and ran, turning the corner only to stop in their tracks. There, staring at them was the innocent green eyes that stared through their souls.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

Her mocking smile.

Her curly locks.

"What the fuck!" They both took to the roofs. The ticking still followed. They turned to see, five feet away;

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

Her innocent green eyes that stared through their souls.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

Her soft-pink lips that smiled mockingly.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

Her glossy brown, curly locks.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

They both threw kunai at the doll, decapitating her, and they ran for it. The ticking didn't stop. It followed them. They looked behind them as they leapt the rooftops. Nothing. Then where was the ticking coming from?

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

Where was the doll?

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

"Watch out!" the second yelled as they dodged something thrown in their paths. The skidded to a stop, and looked up in time to see the girl float to the ground in standing position facing them, as if possessed. The ticking grew louder, grating on their ears.

_**Tick. Tick. Tick. **_

Her penetrating innocent green eyes stared through their souls.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

Her soft-pink lips smiled mockingly.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

The first made hand seals.

"Fire style: Dragon flames!" He yelled as a large dragon of fire came out, burning white and red; it dropped into the doll, taking her up into its maw and swallowing her. As the jutsu died, only thing left was the scorched, smoking roof top.

It was silent.

The two chuunin looked at each other wordlessly, and quickly began their way back to headquarter. They both enjoyed the silence.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

They skidded to a stop as in front of them, the doll seemed to slowly fade into existence.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

Only this time, she was different.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

Her hair, once curly, was now frazzled and burned. Black was on her face and half her dress melted along with her once identifiable arms. Black edges and shiny, freshly melted black plastic glinted evilly at them. White smoke arose from the doll, the smell of burned hair and plastic filled their noses.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

Her still-bright green eyes stared into their souls. No damaging effect on them.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

"What the hell do you want?!" The chuunin yelled as they both vaulted in the opposite direction. Or they started to, for as soon as they turned around, the doll's green eyes stared at them, her melted hand up against her one bright pink lip. It seemed she wanted vengeance for what was done to her by returning the favor.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

They both jumped back, down into the ally way. They turned to the only way out to see the damaged doll staring into their souls. Scrutinizing them with hidden judgment.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

"What do you want from us?!!!" The first yelled. He looked up frantically, for a way out, but lo and behold. On the edge of the roof, staring at them was the same, burnt doll. The one at the mouth of the alley gone. They turned to the mouth, only this time the doll was closer. They looked up. This time the doll was on the fire escape on the left wall. They looked again.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

The doll was on the dumpster. The chuunin were shaking in fear.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

"Why won't you leave us alone?! What do you want!?" The second broke down pulling his hair out. The first held out a shaking kunai, panicked eyes staring into those penetrating green eyes.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

"Stay back!" He yelled, throwing the kunai at her, separating her legs from her torso. A set of legs fell out the sky onto them. They both looked up to see, floating directly above them, the doll that mocked them. Scared out of their minds they both shouted and backed into the corner of the alley. The legless doll sat on the ground. Smiling.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

"Please! Make it stop! What do you want? What do you want?" The first was reduced to begging, on the ground, on his knees. The ticking stopped, and as the doll slowly raised her hand, a piece of paper folded neatly in it, the mechanical ticking sound followed.

_Tick...Tick...Tick... _

Slowly, her arm went up.

_Tick...Tick...Tick... _

It was halfway.

_Tick...Tick...Tick..._

Almost there…

_Tick...Tick...Tick... _

The arm stopped, and the ticking continued. The paper shifted just a bit, becoming them to take it. Hesitantly, the guy took the paper, both shinobi shakily unfolded it.

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

"Eat at Ichiraku's"

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

"Bring as many people as possible."

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

"Breakfast…lunch…and dinner."

_Tick. Tick. Tick_

"Tell a friend."

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

"Tell a stranger."

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

"Tell an enemy."

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

"Give large tips."

_Tick. Tick. Tick. _

"Yes, yes, we'll do it! Please stop!" The pitiful chuunin bowed their heads to the ground.

Silence.

They looked up to see the girl, back in mint condition, smiling approvingly. Her green eyes sparkled with happiness.

_Tick. _The sound came from behind them. They looked into the empty corner. They looked back to see nothing. Only sign the doll was there was the paper in their still shaking hands.

…and the wet spot in their pants.

"We shall never speak of this." The first said after he recovered. The other nodded.

-----

"Hehe. Victory. A brunette, curly haired girl walked down the street. Here sparkling green eyes and her velvet Victorian dress with white decorative trimmings glimmered in the light. Her soft-pink lips curled up in a smile, and her 'granny-boots' made soft patters as they came in contact with the ground.

It was the next morning, and she stopped at a corner with clear view from Ichiraku's. Smiling as she recognized the people inside, she walked in. The two chuunin, eating with friends, froze and looked at her.

"Hello." She smiled innocently as their food hung from their mouths. She turned to Teuchi.

"Excuse me, Teuchi-sama." She called his attention.

"Why hello, I've never seen you before." He smiled friendly.

"I was told that this was the best place in town to eat. My parents are monarchs from far away and decided to come here for vacation." She explained, before hastily covering her mouth.

"Oops, wasn't supposed to say that." She chuckled shyly.

"Ah, don't worry, my lips are sealed. What would you like?"

"Oh, there are so many selections…the man told me ramen was the best so…how about chicken. I like chicken. Make it a to-go." She nodded to herself.

"Right away my dear!" He said as he started cooking. The anxious chuunin slowly, nervously started to eat.

"What's with you two?" One of their friends asked. They turned to her. "Sorry for my buddies there." The woman said. "They're kinda odd today, looks like they've seen a ghost." She chuckled. The girl smiled. "So, where do you come from?" She asked.

"Oh, I was transformed from a doll by the ghost of promise and revenge. I make sure promises are kept or I take revenge!" She smiled. The lady laughed good-naturedly, while the two chuunin spit out their food and started stuttering. Their complexion held no color, their wide-eyes held no comfort.

-----

A little bit later:

The male shinobi population couldn't be more despaired. The female general population, plus the male non-shinobi population was for what-ever reason hunting them down like rabbits. For what, *shudder* they did not want to know. From the screams of men that have already been caught, it could not have been good.

"NOOOOOO! I'm MARRIED!!!!" So was the yell of a recent victim. The people raided every corner of the village, in the trees, in the compounds, in the houses, even in the toilets.

Itachi was one of the people being chased around at the moment. '_All I was trying to do was buy some ice-cream! Then some powder bomb exploded and did this!!!' _He thought to himself frantically. '_I knew I shouldn't have blown off my brother like that, I'm sorry! I really am! Stupid, stupid, stupid. Shouldn't have blown him off. What is this? Bad Karma????" _He asked himself as he jumped up and out of an ambush of women and *shudder* men. You see had he been with his brother, he wouldn't have been in range of the girls at the moment. Too bad for him.

"LEAVE ME ALONE FREAKS!!!!!!!" He yelled, dropping a smoke bomb and disappearing. Itachi sighed as he leaped through the trees. That was a close call. He was going to kill the person responsible for this!! He did not become a shinobi for this stuff!

'_Death, torture, more torture, the party responsible will suffer. Screw this 'don't hurt the villagers' law. I will get revenge!!!!!!!!!' _He thought angrily.

"ITACHI-KUN!!!!!!!" A girl swooped in from the sky out of nowhere. Scared like never before, the shinobi dodged the impact just in time.

"Where the hell did you come from!!!!" He yelled, running away before any answer could be given. '_Why me, why me, why me.' _He ranted. '_Oh, this is probably a prank from that Uzamaki kid everyone warned me about. No it couldn't be, I wasn't even this advanced in the academy and I had a sharingan. No way a dead-last from some nobody family could ever think of this. Must be someone else. When I find them…' _

------

Konoha Academy of the Shinobi Arts; second hour in, Iruka's classroom.

"AAAACHOOO!" Our favorite blond-haired character sneezed powerfully; his body forced up out of the chair by the sneeze.

"Jees Naruto, who wants to kill you?" Kiba joked. Naruto shook his head.

"I don't even want to know…" He whispered back as he started shivered looking around paranoid while fighting the urge to hide in a dark, dark hole.

-----

Anko, Kurenai, Hana, and all the other female shinobi were on top of the hokage monument with grins. From their positions they had a good view of the mayhem going on down below. It was highly entertaining; like a movie playing before them.

Some sat on top of the rock structure with video cameras and pop corn; others were making bets on the next shinobi guy to get caught. Still others were taking pictures of the events that happened for the sake of still memories. Almost everyone was trying to guess who had done such a feat.

"I have to meet the one responsible for this!" Anko laughed in admiration next to Kurenai and Hana.

"They've even got Ibiki on the run!" Kurenai laughed uncharacteristically as the said Ibiki was running in a pair of underwear away from hundreds of pursuers.

"Hey look! The village and clan council!" Hana pointed. All the girls looked to their left. There a group of girls were dragging a bound group of council members. What was funny wasn't the fact that they were bound back to back, or the fact that they were yelling obscenities or crying mercy…the hilarity was in their wear.

Hashi Hyuuga was wearing a diaper and baby bonnet, shouting obscenities while trying to escape. His hair was pink with lots of pretty hair ribbons and bows. His brother (who wasn't officially on the council but the two were inseparable) Hazashi was forced into a pair of tight leather shorts, body painted with tattoos of Dragon Tails and Barney. His hair was purple, and in some elaborate twisted style that resembled a crazy roller costar. He looked amazingly disturbed, what with his eye twitching and his body limp.

Fugaku Uchiha was also shouting obscenities, aiming some at his wife in the group. (All their wives were in the group in fact, but the Hyuuga didn't want to accept that) Why would a husband curse out his own loving wife? Is it because she didn't cook his favorite dinner last night? Or perhaps because she forgot to wash his favorite underwear? Or could it be the fact that Fugaku Uchiha was dressed up like the tooth fairy, powder pink hair, powder purple stockings, pink ballet slippers, pink ultra frilly tutu, a purple leotard and sparkles all over and everything? He was even waving around the star-shaped wand in what he meant to be a threatening manner. It was, to his ire, hilarious.

The best part was that some of the wives were shinobi, which meant they were doing this by pure choice.

Inochi Yamanaka was trying to win his wife over with glaring his will into her being. It wasn't working, especially with his garb. He was dressed up like some twisted superman. His outfit was a green leotard seen on Gai, except is was lighter and had a navy blue pentagon on his chest were the scarlet letter 'Y' resided. His cape was also red, matching his red high-heeled boots that reached mid-thigh. To make the scene even better he had on enough make-up to make a clown envious. His lips were illuminated in bright red, two red dots on both of his cheeks. Green eyeliner covered about an inch away from his eyes, peach foundation layer down with brown blush. Black eyeliner was both on his eyes and around his lips. When you put all this and a glaring face together…well his 'powerful will' is crushed under a butterfly's weight.

Chouza Akamichi was actually quite sedated. Despite being in a costume that made him look like the sun, his arms and legs painted black and white stripped along with his face, a tea-pot hat on his head. You could clearly see and hear him and his wife having a happy conversation as if this was the most normal thing in the world. Both wore smiles and laughed periodically. The other clan members were glaring at that. They envied his shame-free easy-going persona.

Shikaku Nara looked like he was taking a nap. Feathers stuck up all on his head and along his arms and legs. His body was in a pillow. The pillow had on the words in green letters 'WORLDS LAZIEST NINJA!!!' Only sign he was awake was that he would tip his head and speak some words. Laziest was right; he put absolutely no effort in resisting what so ever. He was alive and that was good enough for him.

Shiba Aburame looked…not much different actually. He was dressed up like the grim reaper. Scythe tied to his back and everything. His cloths were raggedy and torn black. All in all, if you were to meet him in a shady alley you would probably run away screaming. If you met him in a sunny field with flowers, the flowers would all die and you still would run away screaming. It was a very convincing image. He was just being dragged along the ground, his black glasses glinting in the sun made others shiver. Even tied up the image was just…scary.

Tsumi Inuzuka was a part of the council…but she was also a part of the group of shinobi women laughing at the scene. Being a girl had its advantages.

Asuma Sarutobi was in a giant cigarette box. He was dressed to look like a cigar, multicolored frills dancing from the perimeter of the box and blue and pink ribbons fluttered in the wind. Asuma was settled on glaring at the group of girls all around. Danzou looked like Winnie the Pooh, fuzzy little cuddly bear all stuffed with fluff. The resemblance was remarkable. It was also ironic seeing as to how Danzou was the coldest human alive.

The hokage was seen standing on the balcony of his office, shaking his head at the scene. Curious as to how no girls even try to come after him. If one were to really look at the aged Sarutobi one would see a smile on his lips, eyes dancing with humor. But to the general populace he looked disapproving.

Now on his way back in he just happened to catch sight of the large orange arrow pointing at him. Turning his head his eye-brow started twitching madly. The arrow originated from a message. This message said; 'I LIKE TO READ' Now, by itself this would be an okay message. But that was not all. Oh no, below this happy, positive message was a very, very large picture of the familiar Icha-Icha Paradise book. A sketch of him and a bloody nose and perverted eyes behind the cover of the book. Sarutobi became distinctly aware of the hokage monument, holding the laughing female shinobi chuunin and above rolling on the floor laughing, with video cameras and such.

"NARUTO UZAMAKIIIIII!!!!!!!!!" His voice boomed so powerfully throughout the village, over the screams of 'men' scarring away a mass multitude of birds, cats, and other small creatures with the occasional bear. Instantly calls of disappointment and happiness sounded as the bet-placers rejoiced their victories or losses perceptively.

Meanwhile:

"Now since chakra is the source of all life you have to beware of-"Iruka was interrupted from his lecture.

"NARUTO UZAMAKIIIIII!!!!!!!!!"

Everyone jumped as the distinctive voice sounded through the classroom. They all turned to look at the wide-eyed Naruto.

Pop!

Two snickering Jonin appeared in the classroom at that moment. Both were females seeing as to how all the males were *ahem* indisposed at the moment. The female ANBU were too busy cracking up. These two specifically wanted to meet the mastermind behind all of this. (All the women do but they were too busy laughing.) They both seemed to be having trouble in controlling their apparent humor. Iruka cleared his throat and they straitened up immediately. Anko and Kurenai were the pair assigned this task.

"Umino-San, sorry to interrupt your class but Uzamaki Naruto is wanted by urgent request of the Hokage." Kurenai reported, all funniness aside.

"Aw man, what does the Old man want now?" Naruto stood up to go. The jonin snickered.

"The 'Old Man' as you put it would just like to compliment you on your beautiful work of art you left on his building." Anko said with laughter in her voice. Naruto's eyes widened in realization.

"Oops, that was supposed to be seen after I make my get away…" He said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head as he arrived in front of them. "Need to work on that timer-trigger…" Anko immediately burst out laughing. Kurenai frowned in disdain…until she started snickering too.

"Uzamaki" Anko began as she recovered, lifting him up like a foot-ball and heading for the open window. Kurenai bowed and apologized for the inconvenience. Then, they took to the roof tops. "The ass-whooping you're going to get from Hokage-Sama is unstoppable, but you don't need to worry about all the other men who want to slowly torture you in many, many dark places and take wild enjoyment in seeing you scream in pain and agony as you ever so slowly die over a three-day period. We got your back. Oh and watch out for the clans…in particularly the Uchiha and Hyuuga…if there's one thing they agree on is they want you dead as painfully as possible-"

"Anko, no need to scare the boy." Kurenai interrupted, Naruto had a very large sweat-drop at the mayhem he was flying over. He hadn't expected the prank to go this far, he'd planned it to be a small scale prank. '_I really need to test these things better.' _He thought. One completely unexpected sight was the female shinobi's actions.

-----

Naruto withered under the hokage's powerful gaze, killer intent whipping throughout the room. He tried to smile innocently but it wasn't working.

"Um…yes Ojiisan…"

"Get. Rid. Of. The message. NOW." Sarutobi growled out, eye twitching madly.

"Um…right…about that…"

"NOW!!" He slammed his hands on the desk. Naruto shrunk down.

"Okay!" He squeaked. Naruto went through some hand seals and landed on the tiger-seal last. Outside the paint glowed. Sarutobi peeked out to see a new message he twitched. It read: Official Office for the really Wrinkly Old Man !

He turned around to reprimand the blond only to see his office empty.

"One of these days…" He grumbled, his right eye twitching madly.

-----

"So what incentive to we have to not take you back to school?" Kurenai raised an eyebrow. Naruto grinned.

"Well you see, since I set up the prank, I would know where the best photographic sites are." He said persuasively.

"Well, that's good enough for me!" Anko called; ready to snatch the boy up.

"Wait Anko, just because he knows doesn't mean he should skip school." Kurenai stopped her.

"Aw, why do you have to be such a party-pooper?" Anko pouted childishly. Naruto gathered their attention once more.

"Well, think of the black mail material we'll get, also, how much profit we can make from this." Naruto goaded.

"Oh, Please Kurenai, pretty please!" Anko threw on the puppy dog eyes.

"No" She said with strict resolution.

"Please Kurenai-nee-chan, please! You know it'll be fun!" Naruto joined her, looking absolutely, irresistibly chibi.

"We really, I…Okay fine!" Kurenai conceded.

"Yay! We love you nee-chan!" Both Naruto and Anko cheered in unison, giving Kurenai a hug.

"Now where should we go first…?" Naruto chuckled with an evil gleam in his baby-blue eyes.

-----

Teuchi smiled as a fresh batch of disturbed shinobi were plopped into his restaurant. He greeted them with a cheery "Hello, what can I get you today?" As if nothing was wrong at all. To him, nothing was. So what outside all shinobi men were in a panic as the village has been taken over by non-shinobi women, men, and children? So what they were being…well stuff was happening to them before they were dropped off in routine formation into the ramen stand. What type of stuff? Well…it's best we not discuss that.

Teuchi smiled as he dished out bowls of ramen, plates of rice cakes, dango, and other such stuff to the shivering shinobi. Inwardly he thought about how prosperous his business would get if a war hit. He grinned at the thought, enemy shinobi falling to their own forces forced to help out Konoha businesses…ah yes, that is a plan. Now to find the enemy army…

"Wh-wh-why…why are they doing th-th-this." A shaking jonin asked, hand quivering as he tried to scoop his dango into his mouth. Hair painted like a peacock, face like a clown. Teuchi sadly, ran out of pity, sympathy, and empathy after the seventeenth round of shinobi. He only grinned.

"There is a message to be learned from this." Teuchi told him as he leaned over the counter. "What it is though…you'll have to figure out." With a grin he went back to cooking. Ayami chuckled at the man's dismay. Looking at the clock she frowned.

"Aw, just when it was getting good." The girl sighed as she got down from the register. She grabbed a sign and went around the counter, to the entrance. She hung up the 'Closed' sign. Teuchi noticed this and glanced at the clock.

"Darn, it's that time. Oh well, we are low on supplies now anyways." Teuchi sighed. He cast a glance to the still-in-shock shinobi. "Last meal of the day boys, its closing time!" Teuchi called, as possessed women and men and even a little girl filled the shop to pick up their cargo.

"Time to pay your fees shinobi-san" Ayame smiled. They reluctantly paid, and were 'escorted' out by the possessed citizens.

"Ayami you count the profits, and I'll start on Naruto's portion of Ramen." Teuchi instructed as Ayami lugged a giant burlap sack of money.

-----

The next day:

Yesterday's prank seized the shinobi population's attention. The female shinobi don't plan on letting the male shinobi soon forget the events. Every time a male shinobi was within the vicinity of female, a surge of uncontrollable laughter ensued. The males quickly scurried away with their burning red faces hidden.

There were also many auctions being held by the female shinobi, over videos and pictures of the males, both private and public. All the shinobi women promised to forever protect the ones responsible for that prank should that info ever be revealed. All of the men promised torture and death should the info ever be revealed.

You see, most –all- the shinobi knew of Uzamaki Naruto and his infamous pranks. But only a handful knew what he was truly capable of. The rest simply did not see the mastermind behind taking control of the whole civilian population inside the 'dead last' blond child. Anko and Kurenai themselves didn't believe it until he actually did show them all the best, most embarrassing shots of the male shinobi. That very night after all the males ran into hiding; they broke into the nearest computer lab and burned three copies of the footage on DVD. Naruto became their best friend then and there.

The sly boy even got them to agree to do business with him, by offering copies of the snippets of video and pictures and sharing the profits evenly. The two women were surprised by his ingenuity. He forbid against selling the whole thing, only portions so that more profits would come in without due suspicion of being involved. He also told them to sell it slowly, scarcely. More profits will come in if the consumer sees it as a rare buy.

It worked, for the afternoon had not yet passed and the triad sold $800,324 worth. They haven't even touched the wealthy side of town yet.

The villagers had no clue of what happened last night…well most of them. The children's rambling of what they saw was categorized as too much sugar before bed. The elderly citizen's apparent humor was seen as insanity. For those villagers with both situations counted it as the twilight zone. [Insert intro music here] In other words, they were confused and a bit scared that both their young and old seemed to know something they didn't.

As for Naruto, it was in his and all the women's best interest that he goes on the 'lay low'. For even though most shinobi didn't believe he did it, they sure were suspicious. Any action he does that looks remotely like he was behind it in the smallest of ways would probably result in a very untimely unfortunate death. The men were pissed, paranoid, and overall envious that someone, or some group were able to cause so much damage, gain the entire female population's favor, and embarrass them all mortally with their own citizens; all while not leaving a clue of who, nor a sign of how and why.

Now, if they really cared to remember all the orange, the ramen, and the red spirals similar to those Naruto wore, then maybe they'd get a hint. But, they completely deleted Naruto off their list of suspects. If they'd also learn from Naruto's earlier pranks that he never involved the elderly, the young, and rarely women –especially shinobi women- then maybe they would have had another huge lead, but as it were; they didn't see his small "test run" pranks leeway to this one. They couldn't connect the two together. (That was slightly disappointing to Naruto, and didn't make his respect of the Konoha male shinobi go very high.)

Always work in small parts; one lecture he listened to in class before zoning out to study up for a prank.

It took him a long while to set up this last prank. He set up his seals in parts that only when activated in proper order, would work. That way, it was like a puzzle to anyone who happened upon his designs, they would have to work hard to figure out the how and why of the prank. It didn't help much that his multi-colored paint disguised half the seals, and that the other half were in the most unpredictable places. Some of the larger more common designs were hidden in alleys, behind dumpsters, on roof-tops. The smaller more specialized ones were on tree branches, in the hokage monument's noses, inside the girls' hot springs, (how he got it there remains to be a mystery) inside random civilian shops and homes, under rocks, on school books, in the library and in random public bathrooms. A few were even hidden in the sewers of Konoha. Somehow, he even painted a number on some animals' empty egg shells or burrows.

By dispersing the parts of his prank, even when he was caught diagramming a seal it was proven to be a useless diagram, or a disguised smaller prank. (Much to the investigating shinobi's ire.) One person who knows of the ways he set up his pranks is Sarutobi. At first the hokage simply spied on the boy when his pranks were simpler. Now though, Sarutobi required Naruto to give detailed descriptions of what he was doing. (This was to make sure no accident occurred from a miscalculation.) Sarutobi didn't know _everything _about his pranks, like the 'nice' message on the side of his tower, but he knew how they were created, and for the most part who was targeted. He also knew what to expect and how to prepare for it. For instance, he knew to expect the whole male shinobi population would complain and give him more paperwork to look over, thus he 'coincidentally' ran out of copies of complaint files, and also his office was 'coincidentally' closed or he was in a 'vital' meeting when the male shinobi were off their shifts. One time it was closed on the basis of 'flood-damage' but that was only a one-time solution because the hokage's tower is the best-kept building in all of Konoha. (The leader always gets the best.)

As of the moment, the aged leader was attending a 'meeting' in his empty office with an 'important visitor.'

"Hello Hayai-san" Teuchi greeted the disguised kage. "And it's nice to see you too Nashii." Teuchi greeted as the two entered his stand, one looking worn, and the other hyper.

"Hello Teuchi-san! How are things going with the shop?" Nashii asked enthusiastically.

"Great, just a little more and that upgrade is ours!" He grinned.

"You hear that Hayai?" Nashii grinned and evil, evil grin. Hayai twitched.

"I have a feeling you're going to test something out huh?" he raised an eyebrow.

"You know it!"

"So what are you planning?" He asked, curious. He hid his sense of foreboding well.

"A competition featuring none other than the most popular clan in the shinobi nations." Nashii grinned the grin of a manipulative scheming child. "The head of that clan and his first born son were both prodigies, both collected a bunch of fangirls and both are prime targets. Besides, one of them needs to pay up."

"What type of competition are you planning?" Hayai asked. "And how will this rack in the profits?"

"Well, since you asked I guess I'll tell ya." She grinned. "You see, by inventing a pot of 10,000,000 yen to the winner of the competition, we will get lots of entries if advertised correctly."

"Ah, but aren't we trying to gather money for this place, how are we to do that when we're getting rid of that much money?" Teuchi asked, leaning in.

"Ah, you see Teuchi-san, that's where the entrance fee comes in." Nashii winked.

"What entrance fee?" Both asked at once. Nashii grinned as a female customer enters. She walked up to the young woman.

"Excuse me ma'am, there is this competition on who can get the best pictures of Fugaku Uchiha. The prize is 10,000,000 yen, and the winning picture goes to the winner. Also, a free three-day trip to the hot-spring oasis in Mist is hosted by this here ramen shop. Are you interested?" She asked. The lady grew lively.

"Am I? I used to have such a large crush on him! How much is it to enter?" She asked.

"Well…it's…" She began slowly, hesitating with a look that showed doubt.

"What? 20,000 yen! Here you go! My name is Hitoro Lita!" She slammed down the money. Nashii placed the money into a brown envelope, while she filled out a registration paper. She quickly ordered her to-go and rushed off to tell friends. Nashii grinned back at the surprised shop owner and village leader.

"I counted 13,289 fangirls in the village for Fugaku Uchiha. 17,989 for Itachi Uchiha and 3,091 for Sasuke Uchiha. Not counting Sasuke, for he is too young to include, that's 31,278 fangirls. If a third of them joined the competition, that's 10,426. If they all pay 20,000 yen, then our net income will be 198,520,000 yen. Hell, if just a sixth of them joined then we would still have a net income of 94,260,000 yen. The trip to the oasis will only take 10,000 yen out of that, thus you still have at least 94,250,000 yen to the upgrades of your stand. Seeming as to how you're only 50,000 yen away from your original goal, you have plenty extra to take care of any extra stuff that comes up, like the 33% increase on mortgage rates, and 21% increase on the murderous insurance rates." She took a breath.

"But I haven't yet come up with a good enough plans for eliminating your taxes, it's a work-in-progress."

Silence.

Both kage and owner had their jaws on the floor, their eyes competing with an owl's.

"What?" She asked, confused and a little freaked out. "Do I have something on me?" She looked at her orange-and-white floral sun dress.

"You just…" Teuchi was speechless.

"You sounded like my accountants." Hayai said, astonished.

"Really? All I did was continue my education from those books you made me read on that one punishment." She frowned.

"Figures. At least you're not completely turning that punishment to your scheming prankster advantage." Hayai muttered.

"Oh I am, you just didn't receive my latest prank report yet." Nashii grinned manically.

"When do you have time for this exactly? All these plans and studying seems to be going much to fast with school and training." Hayai asked suspiciously.

"Well I had a lot of time to think before class started, during detention after school, and…well it's not like I listen to the lessons anyway so all during school too." Nashii explained. She gave a sheepish look soon after. "And I've been slacking on my training as of late…but that will change as soon as my upgrade mission is complete!" She grinned.

"You should do my expenses. We have been running a bit over the budget at the tower." Hayai said rhetorically.

"Sure! I already came up with a rough draft for that place. Let me say you can easily save 15% of your expenses with nobody noticing any type of cut-backs or changes." Nashii grinned.

"What?" Hayai asked startled when the girl slapped a laminated bank statement package of at least ten pages.

"Oh, I've been waiting for this opportunity for months! I knew you'd come around eventually!" She squealed to herself. Hayai and Teuchi sweat-dropped.

"She planned on managing the towers finances." Teuchi stated dully, his brain trying to process why a child would even go near that subject.

"The whole thing, plus ten steps ahead." Hayai agreed.

"She is the weirdest boy ever."

"Indeed. I bet she'll be a hilarious shinobi." Hayai sighed, imagining the reports from other countries he'd receive. He conjured the blonds face in the Bingo-book with the description: severe prankster, master pride-assassin. Retreat on sight and beware of elaborate traps featuring multicolored paints.

"True." Teuchi nodded. "A funnier hokage too." He conjured the image of the blondes' war strategy in weakening the enemies stealth by covering them head-to-toe in glowing stinky paints and dissolving their outfits to deranged bikini's, along with brainwashing them to give all their money and supplies to Konoha. A particular image of a brainwashed, half-naked tutu-wearing Ima-hokage building an orphanage out of tar and feathers while posing for a female magazine made him snicker.

"I wish I could see the day." Hayai smiled, also envisioning the picture he'd love to see in real life.

"Seriously though, what sane eight-year-old plans bank-statements and savings plans?" Teuchi shot.

"No sane eight-year-old does." Hayai shook his head.

-----

Anko grinned as she and Kurenai ate their orders of dango from a local shop.

"I'm telling you sis, that blond gaki can make us rich!" Anko said exuberantly, munching on a dango.

"Anko, to get involved in such childish activities is unbecoming of a jonin." Kurenai said as she sipped her tea.

"But we could make wonderful profits!" Anko cheered, dollar sign clear in her eyes.

"So that makes it all better?" She said coldly.

"Well yeah! Think about it sis, if we are conspiring with him, then we don't have to worry about falling for his schemes." Anko grinned.

"Well, that is a good point" Kurenai agreed, frowning at the thought of succumbing to another –get-stuck-in-pink-web-for-two-hours scenario.

"Come on, wouldn't it be nice to know the hot-springs were rigged with paint-dye shampoos or that headquarters have been ambushed with mind-disorienting bells." Anko pushed. Kurenai shuttered at the mention of the bells. So many shinobi were close to committing suicide that day, along with her.

"It is also a shame that we are being manipulated and embarrassed by an academy first-year student." She pointed out in her matter-of-fact voice. "That just proves how lax we shinobi have become.

"Come on Kurenai, you have to admit; not being so uptight for once was fun!" Anko jumped up and down like a child. "And if we're working with him, then we get to know how he manages to get us so good, then we can train to improve our weaknesses."

"Yeah, but…" Kurenai sighed as she looked into Anko's eyes. In truth, deep down Kurenai wanted to take this opportunity, but she didn't want to cave in so easily.

"I'll consider it." Kurenai said with finality.

"Aw, sis." Anko whined. Before anymore could be said, an incoming projectile was intercepted by Kurenai's hand. It was a rolled up note on a dango-stick.

"Interesting way of communicating." Anko raised an eye-brow. "I like their style! Original yet simple!" She grinned. Kurenai gave her a wary look as she opened it. They both leaned over and read it. They sweat-dropped as a comic strip showed the antics of their last prank. The first panel held the people running frantically. The second showing Anko, and Kurenai taking video and pictures. The third and final one showed them cashing the pictures in with a mountain of money under them, under this, was a message.

'_Hi Anko-nee-chan, Kurenai-nee-chan!' _

"He sure isn't shy about being familiar." Anko smirked at the titles.

'_I am glad you both enjoyed the last prank, and the profits gained from it. I was wondering if you would be interested in another scheme of mine. I assure you you're profits will double what they are now. _

_Of course; you two aren't so shallow as to only care for the profits. I know you both want in on the fun and the laughs. I assure you my next plan will guarantee both profits and fun. Who is targeted? Why the two most popular boys in Konoha, Fugaku Uchiha and his son Itachi. _

_Now, if you're interested in seeing these two run for their lives while being terrorized by rabid fangirls, fan boys, and money-greedy people for photos everywhere they go, then please come for a meeting. You can get me immediately after school. (Or during, that's cool with me.) I will give you flyers that need to be copied and passed around immediately, preferably in places the Uchiha won't see or be able to get too immediately. _

_I understand if you're not interested in my proposal. Perhaps it fails to meet your standards of funny. If so, I apologize for the disturbance_.'

_Yours truly, _

_The mischievous ball of trouble._

_P.S. This paper will ignite in ten seconds._

"Oh, sis this is just what we need!" Anko cheered. "Come on, can't we do it?" Kurenai, for once, cracked a sly smile.

"With the Uchiha? You bet I'm in!" Kurenai chuckled evilly

"I knew you had it in ya sis!" Anko grinned as watched the small fire jutsu to destroy the paper. Peculiarly, the flame glowed pink, orange, and purple before fading away into nothing. "Let's go have some fun!"

------

MEANWHILE: at the Uchiha compound.

Fugaku caught a cold shiver up his spine as he looked over clan business. Ignoring it as the AC, he adjusted the temperature with the use of well placed ninja wire. Itachi, however, was sitting in a sauna where there should be no chills. He looked around suspiciously, telling himself he'd better watch out.

-----------

The next day: The Academy

"Naruto, I don't know how you're able to do it, but I know you're responsible for this." Kiba said holding up a picture of the clan council he got from his sister.

"Who? Me!" Naruto looked appalled at the thought. "I cant even get an A in class and you suspect me of something like that!" He said dramatically.

"You may be failing, but that doesn't mean you didn't do it." Kiba said plainly. "You had the help of some powerful ninja, like those two jonin the other day. They seemed like they'd cause trouble."

"Oh, yes. How devious would they get if I had help." Naruto said to himself rubbing his hands together with a vile grin.

"Who will you torture next Naruto?" Choji asked the grinning blond, knowing he was thinking of something sinister.

"I'm gonna target Fugaku and Itachi Uchiha." Naruto pronounced confidently. Sasuke, who was content to watch the conversation unfold, chose this moment to comment.

"No way, my dad's clan head and big bro is an ANBU." He protested. Naruto kept his confident smile.

"Ninja rank is just a position; in the real world of shinobi the freshest of genin can be capable of outsmarting a hokage." Naruto spoke, mischievous eyes telling of the true wisdom behind his words. Sasuke looked at him like he was crazy.

"They'll probably kill you before you can learn where they're rooms are." Sasuke promised. Naruto shook his head, inwardly thinking that statement better applies to the Hyuuga because they constantly scan the area with their Byakugan.

"You doubt me, the emperor of pranks!" He said flamboyantly, attracting the attention of the class. "I assure you that this task is but another challenge for me to overcome!" He took a dramatic breath, and stood on the desk. Somehow a genjutsu of ramen floating in the background appeared. "And with the powers invested in me by Ramen and all of its flavors I will use this as an opportunity to promote Ichiraku's!" He yelled the last part, eyes a glow with fire. His friends sweat-dropped and backed away.

"That's just weird." Kiba whispered to the others. "I think he's lost it, the little of it he had anyway."

"I thought he couldn't do genjutsu!" Choji whispered, eying the flying ramen background.

"Of course he'd manage to create one that looks like that." Sasuke muttered. "He could have been a civilian with no chakra what so ever and still somehow would have made that genjutsu."

The others took a moment to picture the scene and agreed; either as a homeless orphan, or a rich democrats' son, Naruto still would have come out the same. With no ninja training or the best, he still would have managed the ramen background. They could not argue that the blond would have somehow made it work even if he has the worst genjutsu score of the class.

Naruto ended his show abruptly by popping up directly in front of Sasuke.

"So do you want to torture them too?" He asked the surprised Uchiha.

"Eh, no I don't get involved with death-wishes" He said. Naruto frowned in disagreement.

"Aw come on, don't you want to join me and take revenge on your family? It will be a worthwhile challenge, especially when you can give your brother pay-back for all the times he played tricks on you." Naruto pleaded.

"No, I don't do hopeless assignments." Sasuke raised a brow.

"But Sasukeeee, you know that you can easily prank a civilian. Where's the fun in that? You'll never be a good shinobi playing it 'safe.' Shinobi take risks, push beyond their limits! Think of all the shinobi that ran head-strong to stop the Kyuubi!" Naruto rocked on the edge of the desk, big pleading eyes boring into the Uchiha.

"First of all, shinobi also know not to go head-long into a death-trap." Sasuke protested."And second, I don't want to get involved with your childish games."

"Okay how about we wager on it. If I can prove to you that it's possible to do some major infiltrating by tonight, will you do the project with me?" Naruto asked. Sasuke smirked all-knowingly.

"Sure, only if you win though." He said confidently. Here Naruto had an evil grin, he rubbed his hands together like the classic villain.

"Perfect, my plan for Mr. Ramen Bunny's new home is coming together! Muahahahaha!" He cackled. Sasuke sweat-dropped.

'_How did I ever start associating with him? Even when my parents tell me he's bad news.' _

"Did someone give you some white powder and tell you it was sugar?" Sasuke asked, backing away. Naruto looked back down, confusion on his face.

"Yea, lots of times. Why?" He responded. Sasuke face-planted at the response.

"That explains a lot." Shikamaru sighed. "Troublesome."

Naruto looked confused. Every time he needed sugar when he was henged as a chef they always gave it to him promptly telling him "This is sugar!" in some redundant manner. How does that explain anything they were talking about?

"Settle down class!" The voice of Iruka sounded over the chatter. Everyone turned to see Iruka and Mizuki waiting patiently. Quickly, the class returned to order.

"We apologize for being late; we had a…unfortunate affair to attend to." Here Mizuki flat out glared at the Grinning Naruto, Iruka twitched his direction. "But today we will be opening up a new unit on stealth and reconnaissance." Cheers erupted at the ending of the old unit; 'History of Kunai production.' Why was that even in the curriculum?

"Before we start, we have a small exercise for you; we'll leave you all to yourselves for an hour. During this time you need to write a paper detailing as many stealth and reconnaissance techniques as you can. You can use all the resources in this room. Yes this counts as a grade, so be productive. It's due as soon as the hour's up." Mizuki told them. They soon left after that, the students wasted no time in filling the air with chatter.

Sasuke shivered as the fangirls started walking closer, determination in their eyes. He looked around, hoping for any type of distraction to come along.

"Sasuke-kuuuuun!" He heard, he froze, looking around he was cornered, no place to run. "How would you like to share you techniques with us!" He couldn't stop the cold shiver at the _way _they said that sentence. He just knew it had deeper implications he was too young to understand.

"So what do you say!?" Naruto seemingly came out of nowhere in all his orange glory. Sasuke looked at the blond who somehow got through the wall of fangirls to sit on his desk. He sighed in relief as the girls instantly backed away from the him with detest in there eyes. He was so very glad that girls acted like Naruto had cooties. He took a second to wonder why but immediately erased such thoughts. As his mother always told him, never look a gift-hoarse in the mouth.

"I already told you…" Sasuke said with irritation.

"Okay, okay. I guess I can't force you if you don't think you can do it. I can't blame you for being afraid of the consequences." Naruto sighed, defeated. "I just thought you'd be interested in a challenge…"

"I am not afraid; I can do this with my hands tied." Sasuke fired up immediately.

'_Hook-line and sinker.' _Naruto thought, inner selves smiling deviously.

"Sure, anyone can say a bunch of words." Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Say!" He said indignantly. "I'll show you, when we start." He said. Here Naruto actually let loose a grin. Sasuke froze.

'_Oh crap, what did I just do?' _The Uchiha thought. _'Whatever, it can't be that bad, right?' _

Meanwhile, Naruto thought: '_Yes, my ramen bunny would be pleased. My plan is coming into action. Muahahahaha!' _the blond rubbed his hands together with a low cackle, eyes gleaming ominously in the light. Everyone around him shivered, deciding to stay on his good side. On the plus, the fangirls backed farther way.

"Naruto…" Sasuke asked.

"Huh? Oh, right. So here's what I got planned." The blond said taking out an empty scroll and pencil.

-----

The school day passed quickly, after the first hours of scheming, (for Naruto anyway) the students returned to their lessons. Naruto's paper seemed awfully empty, making the Uchiha regret getting involved in this as he doubted the dead-last could even get through the front gate successfully. As soon as the bell rang the students stampeded past the doors. Naruto and Sasuke were the last to leave.

"So you want to come over my place or me to yours?" Sasuke asked. Naruto looked a little surprised by the question.

"Um, I think its better you come to mine. Your dad doesn't like me very much…" Naruto chucked. Sasuke looked at him strangely.

"Why?" He asked, curious.

"I don't know; it could be because I am a trouble-making loudmouth, prank-addicted brat that does the complete opposite of an elite clan member." He shrugged.

"Well you should come over just to spite him." Sasuke said stubbornly. Once more this took Naruto by surprise. He smiled.

"Sure, how about at 7:00?" Naruto responded, evil gleam in his eyes. Sasuke brushed off the gleam; he'd seen it enough times that day and just didn't want to know their origin.

"Alright, meet me at the front gate." Sasuke nodded. "See ya then, I gotta tell my mom your coming. She hates it when people bring over random visitors." He rolled his eyes at that.

"'Kay!" Naruto said as they parted. Sasuke blinked and the blond was gone, a single leaf in his spot.

"Did…did I miss something?"

-----

"Uh…Anko-Chan you didn't have to abduct me." Naruto said as he was being carried like a foot-ball flying over buildings. Next to her was Kurenai, shaking her head silently.

"No time to waste Gaki, we want to get this scheme running!" She laughed evilly. Naruto blinked, before matching the grin with his own.

"Alright, we need to head over to one of my bases and get the plans." He said. Here Anko dropped him on the nearest roof. He barely managed to land on his feet. She and Kurenai landing by his sides.

"That was unnecessary Anko-chan" Kurenai admonished, light frown in place. It irked her at how Anko just dropped the boy down.

"Ah, he can handle it; he's as tough as nails!" She grinned. "Lead the way Gaki." Anko gestured dramatically to the east. Naruto responded not with a nod but by running off in the opposite direction. The two jonin followed. They were surprised when they were lead back to the academy, on the roof top.

"Base operations are here?" Kurenai asked. Naruto shook his head.

"No, this is just a quicker way to get there." He said, walking around the roof as if looking for something. The two jonin looked at each other on confusion.

"What are you talking about Gaki?" Anko asked.

"Hold up, I almost got it…here." He stopped after walking around in a spiral.

"What is it?" Anko raised a brow, looking at the empty brown roof.

"Step in closer." He said. The women looked at each other, before doing so. "Alright, time for us to get started." He grinned, focusing chakra into his hands and then to his feet. Anko and Kurenai had looks of surprise to sense…and see this happening in an academy student. Before words could be spoken though, a large seal diagram was illuminated with an extremely dim brown glow. It was almost invisible if they weren't expecting it.

"What the-" Anko said as they all were sucked in like dirt to a vacuum.

The jonins found themselves in trees in all sorts of awkward positions. They grimaced as they readjusted themselves.

"Where did that Gaki go?" Anko asked in irritation as she removed leaves from her hair. Both jonins leapt down to the ground. They looked around and they saw a waterfall on the side of the rock face. A blond-haired sea monster emerged from the pooling water. He smiled sheepishly.

"Hehe, I forgot I have to fix that seal." He shrugged as he removed the clingy algae from his persons. The two looked at him surprised. Naruto stood and gestured the two to follow him. "Come on, I have everything set up in here." He said running to the side of the rock structure. He sat on top of one giant boulder; focusing chakra into his hands again he pressed another invisible seal and puff! Flyers, maps, tiny people figures, chess pieces, scrolls, ink, and many more seal diagrams appeared. Not to mention a curly brown haired green eyed doll with a red velvet dress, three other duplicates like her. A pile of stuffed animals in all shapes and forms, buckets and buckets of paint balls, ninja wire, fake fruit, and carefully painting pictures of a maiden that looked to be what the doll was modeled after. And a bowl of cheese and bread, which the blond munched on.

"Wow." The jonins exclaimed in unison.

"Ah, I should tell you that there's been a change in plans." Naruto said. "Sasuke Uchiha will be helping out to, he has some good ole' fashion revenge to get." Naruto rubbed his hands together in an evil fashion. Anko squealed in delight.

"I knew this little gaki has the makings of a true mastermind genius." She exclaimed in childish glee. Kurenai rolled her eyes. She turned to Naruto.

"I understand the paint, but what's with the toys?" she asked eyeing the colorful plushies. Naruto grinned in response.

"You see that it's unexplainable you just have to wait and see. I assure you it is something that I have been working on for a very long time, and I have recently tested it out on some random people and was very pleased with the results. I am sure you two will be pleased once you get to see it." He said with a devious smiled.

"But that just makes me want to see it mooooore…" Anko complained. Naruto ignored her, picking up a stack of papers he placed it in front of them, followed by two more. Quickly he had three towers taller than him.

"You want us to post these around?" Kurenai asked, looking at the stack disdainfully.

"No, just channel your chakra into it." Naruto responded. Both looked at him for further explanation. "If I had to go around and set up my pranks by hand I'd hardly be able to run one prank every month. This is a large village you know. I created seals a long time ago that places parts of my pranks where I need them to save on time." He explained. Both looked extremely shocked.

"Do you know the level of skill it takes to create seals that transport people and things? Nearly invisible ones at that?" Kurenai exclaimed. At Naruto's blush she summarized correctly he didn't. He had no clue he was operating at a level no ordinary shinobi under jonin could try to understand.

"Well, you know how everyone rather I die and stay away from me like the plague." He said, causing the women to frown in acknowledgement. They knew, but didn't like it. "Because of that nobody pays any attention to me except Old Man Hokage and recently Iruka-sensei, so I'm free to do a lot of pranks others can't do." He smiled.

"What do you mean that others can't do?" Kurenai asked, sensing a deeper meaning behind those words.

"At first I was very bad at setting up pranks in secret you know. But..." He grew a noticeably sadder. "Nobody wants to even look at me so all the passing shinobi passed my activities off as something defiles and all the villagers turned the other cheek. So nobody could stop me from doing bad stuff. Now though I came up with ways to not get caught even if they were looking for me." He finished smiling his large smile once more.

Both jonin's faces contorted in disapproval and anger. Seeing this Naruto quickly added;

"But I like it that way."

"What!" Anko exclaimed none believing.

"If almost everyone sees me as a worthless, good-for-nothing, dead last then they won't suspect me for any advanced pranks. You see I have two records. Everyone knows about my minor pranks that look like they require little or no skill, or suggest I had help from larger resources, but hardly anyone knows about the advanced pranks being planned by me. Sure they're suspicions but they're own biased keeps me safe for now." He said.

"I'm just waiting until I become a shinobi, then I can surprise them. Then I'll show them that they were wrong for overlooking their future hokage!" Naruto said with a passion. Both girls smiled, feeling the same passion well up inside them as well.

And the bond was formed.

"Hey, can we get these posted?" Naruto asked, gesturing towards the pile.

"Yeah, how much chakra do we need?" Anko asked, craning her neck. Naruto stopped from picking up the bucket of paint balls.

"What do you mean?" He asked in pure confusion.

"How much chakra do you use to transport stuff?" Kurenai reiterated. Naruto just blinked.

"I don't know." He said.

"Well, that must mean not much." Anko said. "If he doesn't feel a drain on his little body, so I should be able to handle this alone." She grinned, pouring out chakra into the papers. They vanished.

"Now for the fun part." Naruto said as soon as they puffed away. He bought out maps and diagrams. Channeling chakra into one seal, a 3-D image of the business district popped up with still images of people and all. A big difference though was the orange strings lacing in and out on the buildings. This was a technique Sarutobi showed him, it was the first step in creating his all-seeing crystal ball. "For you all to properly help out, you must know where all the hidden traps and tricks are." He said.

Anko had the most sinister grin ever.

"Oh yes, juicy knowledge!" She said looking bloodthirsty.

"Now our first plan is to recruit two happy preppy chuunin."

-----

**Authors Notes:**

How will Naruto recruit these two happy preppy chuunin to help out in his pranks! How will Anko and Kurenai be able to help! What of this school project! Find out on the next episodic chapter of Academy days!

Once more I apologize for the excruciatingly long wait for this chapter. As you know I went to a very challenging school which had me buried in homework and projects all the way up to my ears. Because of this I was determined to spend my summer doing absolutely nothing. Yes this whole summer I forgot about the outside world, and only focused on me, myself, and I. I forgot about studying, traveling, talking to friends and family, to a certain point even eating! The only thing that mattered was my beautiful pillow and the wonderful television.

I lazed my way about the house, forgetting all about the remote idea of work that went beyond my daily chores. I spent the entire summer enjoying me-time. Now though I am hitting the books once more, because school is approaching fast for me. Now that I have reconnected to the internet I remembered that I was writing a story, and devoted two days to type out this chapter, plus three days to edit out some of the bad ideas.

Please forgive me for not updating sooner, I simply couldn't bring myself to think of work this summer.

TTFN

Littlemoontiger

-----


	14. Chapter 14: I'll Have One Bowl of Miso

_Chapter 14: I'll have one bowl of Miso...(Cont.)_

_**Overview: **_What is Naruto planning to do to get the rest of the funds for his ramen bunnies' new home? How will Anko and Kurenai be able to help him? And what of Sasuke? How will he obtain his revenge? How will including all these people affect Naruto? Will I get my ice cream today? And when is Hinata going to come in!!! (Not in this chapter)

_**Author's Notes: **_How's everyone enjoying school so far! I hope everyone has nice teachers like I do. (By nice I mean in personality, they still are evil homework/project happy feinds that love to see me struggle!!!)

ALSO, I've notice my loving reviewers are desiring more Japanese in my story. Your request has been deliberated by my board of trustees and we approved of a plan to incorporate more of this foreign language.

Oh and we can't forget to include Hinata! This is after all a NaruHina fic. But I don't think I'll go into them to much until later, I haven't characterized them enough to build much of anything yet.

Hope you enjoy the chapter!

(*~~*)

_**How to recruit your own minion**_

_-By Naruto Uzamaki_

_**Step 1:**__ In recruiting a minion it is important to be selective on the person's background. A model candidate would be someone with little or no close relations, and who is not well-known, as close friends or family can help your potential minion fight off your advances. Once you've obtained a list of viable candidates, be sure to check their background, abilities, relations, behavior, etc. As this information can help your minion go undetected for an extended amount of time if used right. _

_**Step 2**__: Play upon your potential minions' feelings. Get to know the mentality of the minion, how s/he thinks. You can use this knowledge to create a powerful genjutsu affect, making the minion more vulnerable to your control_

_**Step 3**__: Unnerve the minion, make him/her feel that they are loosing their wits, freak them out until they become paranoid to a point that they always look over their shoulder. Ensure that you don't over do it enough to send your minion to a phiciatric wards to to attract to much attention from his companions. Make the minion feel insuperior, and for them to loose all sense of self confidence or balance. By doing this you can start with a blank slate and mold your minion to your liking. This is the make it or break it step, it will require wit and mischief. Once the minion's confidence is shattered and their will power is cracked its time to move on to step four. _

_**Step 4**__: This is the most vital, important, and entertaining step. Get your minion alone, preferably where none may interfere. Proceed to freak the minion out to a point where he is pulling out his hair. Once the minion is at this pinnacle of stress, spring the torture trap on them. This is a specially designed trap that will use the Minions emotions and thoughts to manipulate him into your submission. Once the minion is done with the torture (no worry as physical harm will not be applied )you may use the minion as you please. For extended use ensure to use weaker form of the torture technique during the minions sleep to ensure control._

_**Step 5**__: Once done with your minion, you can dispose of them by using the elimination technique to get rid of all memory of you, and your actions. This step is most precarious as it requires special attention. If the step is used improperly the victim may loose a lot more memory than intended, or they may remember your involvement and compromise you. Ensure you have full understanding of this final technique before you apply it. _

_-----_

"_No first year academy student _should have devised ways to manipulate people to this extent." Kurenai said boldly as she finished reading the paper. Anko turned to her and shrugged.

"Hey, it's not like we didn't know at least how to manipulate civilians when we were genin." She defended as they sat observing the city below them on top of a tall building.

"One; he's nowhere near a genin, and two, we had to know because we were in a time of war!" Kurenai frowned. "Also he's just on the edge of completely failing the academy yet we know he's outsmarted all our shinobi. If the stone village were to see how easily he beats us they wouldn't hesitate to start another war." She sighed in exasperation. It was embarrassing, being the strongest shinobi village and walked all over by an eight year-old. Granted that if they weren't restricted by the Hokage from imposing physical harm on the boy it probably would be as bad, but even with that restriction its a shame only a few of the trained shinobi could handle him successfully.

"I wouldn't mind if Iwagakure decided to rage war" Anko got excited. At Kurenai's look she explained like a gleeful child. "Just think of what would happen if he could let loose with absolutely no restrictions? My mouth waters at all the possibilities." She said dazing off into a wistful daydream.

"He is in no way combat prepared Anko." Kurenai sighed. "He might have a great potential to devastate any attacking armies, but he cant full well fight them."

"He doesn't need to, were more than enough to protect him as he sets up his torture-pranks. Oh I can see it now, the avalanche of stalking dolls, onslaughts of glowing paint, so many men in bikinis!" She squealed at that disturbing thought. "They'd turn tail giving us another reputation; notorious pranksters!" Anko finished with a happy glitter in her eye. Kurenai shook her head at such absurdities. Although it was enough to make Kurenai wonder, what is the boy actually capable of if he wasn't restricted from bodily harming people?

Kurenai also wondered if Naruto had manipulated them somehow; why else would two special jonin work with an eight-year-old?

"You're thinking too much on this nee-chan." Anko interrupted her best friends musings. "With all the stresses of being shinobi, you should spend this time to unwind and have some fun! Stop being such a stick in the mud and loosen up!" She winked.

"But-" Kurenai tried.

"No-no-no, none of that." Anko repremanded. "Its' about time you started having fun again, stop being so observant and just go with the flow, trust me it'll be worth it." Kurenai sighed in defeat before smiling sheepishly.

"I suppose you're right, I haven't truly had fun in a long time have I?" She admitted.

"That's the spirit, now help me scout out some potential minions!" Anko said turning back to the unaware milling chuunin below.

------

_**In the Hokage Office**_

The Hokage of Konoha sighed as he flipped closed another manila folder. He leaned back into his chair, letting his bones and muscles creak with the action. He'd been working late into the evening and early today to get the oversized stack of papers done. He closed his eyes and reflected; an abnormal number of people are trying to get citizenship into Konoha. The first few dozen reports he suspected something suspicious; until he read the 'additional comments' section on the form.

There was a description saying: "_My friend loves your village. Not only does it have a great climate, business, and hotsprings; but a great series of practical jokes! The way my friend summerizes them makes me just have to see it for myself! Shinobi running around in bikinis from some unknown secrete shinobi while having to chase around an amature prankster! Oh I do so look forward to seeing this spectacle with my own eyes; my whole family do!" _

Sarutobi's head fell when he read that. The reason people wanted to come to the village was to see his 'elite' shinobi get embarrassed. His village, Konohakagure. Rating the most powerful of the Shinobi Nations, ahead of the five main ones. The best of the best come from Konoha. The best of the best are raised there. Sadly that meant they had the best of the best prankster, which meant the best of the best embarrassing situations for his once-proud shinobi, which meant the best of the best entertainment that, according to many, many later comments, out-ranked the Chuunin exams as an attraction.

The He found it a little amusing that none of the villagers knew about the blond being the source of pranks. Most of the competent shinobi who were not commonly involved knew (but they will fight against it harder than they'd fight an enemy Iwa shinobi. Understandable as after facing death and surviving many times, going through war and under-ranked missions, nobody wants to accept that, with all their experience and power, they were being beaten by a child.) The ones who were frequent targets are too paranoid and wrathful to connect the dots sadly.

He sighed once more, thinking about the reports again. What surprised the kage the most were the request forms from Iwa and Kumo, outspoken enemies with very large grudges against Konoha. These were what made him fear something suspicious in the first place. But then again, who wouldn't want to see their mortal enemy in mortally embarrassing situations? Its the next best thing, since Iwa has no chance of winning a war at the moment.

_'Well,' _He reasoned. '_at least this means more business and diversity for the village.' _He took out his wooden pipe and lit it with a minor fire jutsu. He sighed in defeat. '_It also means if Naruto were to be stopped so would that business...damn.' _

_**At Naruto's Apartment: **_

"Cheer up grumpy! It'll be fun!" The orange-wearing blond grinned as he tried to reach some scrolls atop a bookshelf. Sasuke responded by glaring his Uchiha Death Glare ®

He didn't know how he'd lost the bet so fast. He just didn't. He was certain, so absolutely certain that Naruto would fail in trying to come in, but he did, oh boy he did.

_Flashback: Sasuke's P.O.V._

I leisurely walked home, wondering if I'd see his blond classmate anymore once he was caught from trying to sneak in. I wondered who would catch him; and what type of funeral he would have. I smirked, knowing that he won't be able to prove anything to me.

"Sasuke" A voice broke me out of my revere. I looked up to see my brother Itachi's cold eyes. Surprised to see him, I couldn't help but feel a bit of hope that he would actually want to do some training with me today. '_Don't get to hopeful' _My common sense snapped be back from reality and kept the emotion from coming out too much.

"Mom said you have to come with me." He said in monotone as he walked off. I had to keep the sigh from coming out. Man was my brother ever-so-social. I suddenly had the evil thought of replacing his wardrobe with something that would make him scream. I shook those thoughts from my mind reluctantly. I've been hanging around Naruto too much; now I'm thinking about pulling pranks on people.

Yet their was something not quite right with our walk. I noticed the sound of many clicks, and could see girls and boys following us. I could tell my brother sensed them too, with the way he closed his eyes; hiding his annoyance probably.

It wasn't like this was the only time my brother's fan club decided to stalk him. Yet, I never seen so many boys try and stalk my brother before, and the clicks were a new thing too. What were they up to?

"Come on" Itachi cut into my thoughts as he grabbed me suddenly. Next thing I knew I was being held like a foot ball and we were flying over buildings. Trying to get away from the fans no doubt. We landed soon enough, right in front of a grocery store. Itachi finally put me down from my foot-ball hold. I straightened my clothes and followed him inside. He picked up a few grocery items, some I recognized to be the ingredients to my mom's special pocky. I had to keep my self from drooling at this revelation. Even Itachi looked pleased holding the items close to his chest.

'_click, click, click' _And his discrete smile fell. I looked around the isle and sweat dropped at the people spying on us through the shelves in the other isles. My brother speed up and practically shoved things into my and his arms as he rushed to get out the store. Once we paid for the food he started a very fast walk back home; one that I had trouble keeping up with.

I wanted to ask him to slow down, but then I saw his face show his annoyance more and more. Taking this moment to look around, I found that we were being followed by poorly hidden villagers and clicking sounds all around. It didn't take long at all for his walk to turn into a slow run, which gradually sped up. By the time we reached the complex I was gasping for breath. Thankfully we slowed down once in the safety of the compound.

My brother has never been one to openly show his emotions, so I was surprised when he smiled in joy as we entered our house. No doubt he was just happy to be away from his fans. His smile was quickly put away though as we handed the groceries to our mom. As soon as this was done my brother left wordlessly to his room.

Thats the way my brother was. He'd never yelled as long as I'd known him; he'd always keep that cool facede. In showing his emotions one would have to be an avid observer to see him smile, or frown, or do anything else that classified him as a human. If you asked any villager (that wasn't a fan girl) they'd laughed in your face at the thought of Uchiha Itachi smiling.

It just didn't happen.

I sat down by our kitchen table in thought. Deep thought. I think I can remember when he used to smile and laugh all the time; when he used to openly show his emotions. But they are such fuzzy memories that they might only be long-standing dreams. My mom says many times how Itachi has changed, but I just can't see my brother openly showing emotions.

On the bright side, he never got angry at me either. Most older brothers would get angry at the younger brothers if the said younger brothers bothered them too much. Itachi just ignores me or removes himself. I never have to worry about him getting violent with my advances.

"WHO THE HELL TOUCH MY ROOM!!!!" I heard upstairs. My mom, who was grabbing a plate from the cabinet, dropped the said plate as it shattered to the ground. That voice...it sounded like...

Me and my mom looked at each other, before shooting up the stairs. On our way our father joined our pursuit. When we reached the top, and down the hall to my brother's room, we were surprised to see him _seething _in rage. His eyes were red yet his sharingan was not activated. His hands clenched in tight fists, his shoulders trembled like he was about to burst, his left eye twitched. His teeth were bared in a snarl.

I froze, and I felt my family freeze behind me.

My brother,

Uchiha Itachi....

Was showing anger....

Slowly snapping out of our shock, I was the first to walk close enough to see why he was angry. And I saw, and then I knew;

I had lost the bet.

Itachi's whole room was painted in orange. Only one person in the world would paint a room orange....

Uzumaki Naruto.

I turned to look at my brother, only to find he was gone.

_END FLASHBACK: Back to third person P.O.V._

Remembering all this, Sasuke leveled another glare on the cheerful blond. Naruto pulled out a scroll and turned back to him, his annoyingly bright smile in place.

"This will be an interesting secrete mission!" He said gleefully. Sasuke looked to him with question hidden behind his scowl. Naruto choose to ignore this; no way was he going to tell the Uchiha everything when the said Uchiha was acting too high-and-mighty to ask outright. This served to vexed the boy even more. Yet his childish unquenchable curiosity forced him to swallow his pride and ask;

"What are we going to do?" He kept his voice low, almost to a growling level. Naruto smiled cheekily

"Get revenge on your brother and father of coarse!" Naruto responded with glee. "And who ever else makes you angry." Sasuke looked at the blond in disbelief.

"Why would you want to get revenge on _my _family?" He asked with a raised eye-brow.

"No, _you _want to get revenge; I'm just here to help." Naruto explained with his grin, plopping down right in front of him.

"What? Where did you get _that _idea from?" He asked, really beginning to think the blond deserves to be in a ward.

"You told me silly!" Naruto said. Sasuke raised an eyebrow once more. Naruto didn't take this as a prompt to continue, forcing the Uchiha to voice

"When did I _ever_ say something like that?" he asked almost rhetorically

"Almost every conversation!" Naruto exclaimed, throwing his hands up exuberantly

"Uh-huh..." Sasuke raised his eye brow again. He'd been doing that a lot lately; maybe, he thought, he should stop questioning Naruto's sanity and just accept his craziness. "I'm going to need some proof of this." He said smirking; the whole conversation was humorous to him. '_Me, Sasuke Uchiha tell him that I wanted revenge! Never!' _

Naruto kept his never-ending smile. "Of coarse!" He said. Then he began recounting various facts.

_SERIES OF 100% ACCURATE FLASHBACKS_

"_My brother always blows me off, it makes me mad. I wish I had Naruto's awesome ability to enact revenge."_

"_My dad would throw a fit if I hung out with you guys everyday, he's always preaching about superiority. I wish I could be like Naruto and prank his stuck-up sitting-muscle to death!_

"_Naruto you are so awesome, I wish I could do what you did; my brother would look hilarious with __green and orange hair!"_

"_Yeah, if I had Naruto's awesomeness I could see my dad with pink hair and glitter!" _

"_My brother acts superior to everyone; I wish Naruto would teach me his awesome skills and help me make him more humble." _

"_My dad is too serious, I bet he's a closet pervert, nobody can be that serious. If only Naruto would help me expose this, but I don't deserve Naruto's awesomeness for my use"_

"_My brother doesn't seem to like any girl; he might be gay. Naruto will you please help me expose him for his gayness!" _

"_Someone should give that 'promise' lecture to my brother; he's breaking promises left and right with me. If only my superior in every way, you Naruto, would help me make him keep his promises" _

"_Oh Naruto, You are just the most awesome, amazing, incredible person with the most hottest body; I don't deserve all the fangirls with how hot and cool you are! Will you please help me..._

_END FLASHBACKS (that were 100% accurate)_

"_I_ did not say any of that stuff about you, I don't think it, nor did I ever even consider it; dobe." Sasuke interrupted with an ever-present eye-twitch. Naruto looked at Sasuke in surprise at his interruption, before grinning.

"But you don't deny not saying those things about your brother or your father, nor thinking them, not considering them, nor hinting at them!" Naruto stated confidently. "Which proves my point!"

Shocked, Sasuke opened his mouth to protest but quickly closed it as he saw the truth in Naruto's words. At the loss of this verbal debate he heard his father's voice in his head, lecturing him how he, a proud Uchiha and second heir to the clan, lost a verbal battle with an inferior piece of trash from a nobody clan. Sasuke had to begrudginly swallow his pride and accept that Naruto was right; he was tired of such lectures about how he had to behave as a 'proud Uchiha', and be the 'top of everything.' He couldn't even have a birthday party because of how that was unfit for 'the superior Uchiha Clan.'

These thoughts made the idea of revenge sound so tempting...With this, he swallowed his pride, better judgment, and (a little) of his apprehension to hear of the plan.

"Now, this is what we're going to do..."

-----

An-Nai and Yoyaku, two average low-level fresh chuunin, were walking through the busy streets of Konoha, headed towards their temporary barracks as both their homes just happened explode with jello and some sticky-will-not-come-off substance.

"Yoyaku." An-Nai said as they walked. "I'm telling you that this is no coincidence, two brother's and former teammates apartments are bobby trapped is too much of a coincidence to be real." He finished, crossing his green eyes to stare at a stubborn strand of black hair that decided to bounce above his nose.

"An-Nai, I can't believe someone who thinks that the Hokage lends a helping hand to almost all these pranks." Yoyaku rolled his own green eyes. "Especially since that said person is short and almost pudgy." He added with a smirk.

"Hey! I am not pudgy, its my muscles." An-Nai quickly defended with a shout. He calmed down and smirked. "Besides, you know your jealous that you can't attract the ladies like me, especially with that twiggy body of yours." He said cockily.

"What ever helps you sleep at night Anni." Yoyaku waved him off coyly. The younger man stuck out his tongue.

Before either could continue their banter, an approaching frantic yelling caught their attention, as well as everyone else in the vicinity. All the people stopped and turned to see a senile-looking old lady yelling something about cats and clouds.

"They're in the clouds! They're going to eat all the cats of the world! Flies are evil! Evil I tell you!" Was among what was said. She ran straight to the taller Yoyaku, put her hands on his shoulders and started to shake him.

"Save yourself! The books want revenge for being used! Save yourself! The leaves will kill you!" She screamed. An-Nai tried to help his brother but the woman whipped toward him and threw something at his chest before shaking him.

"You! Don't ever leave your brother! Love each other in the power of love because the world will end and the only thing that will exist are cats!!!!" She shouted, before whipping around and fast-walking away.

Silence.

"Yoyaku...nan des ka? (what was that?)"

"Someone who escaped from the mental home otooto (younger brother)."

As life began to move again around them, An-Nai looked down to see what the senile old lady threw. Yoyaku decided to pick it up; it was a rag doll. Said doll had long straight black hair a dark complexion with brown eyes. It wore an orange dress lined with black lace along the bell-like sleeves, the collar, and hem of the dress. The doll had a charming smile that would awe any little girl.

"Hm, could be something she stole or something her granddaughter gave her." Yoyaku shrugged as he cast the doll into the nearest trash can.

"Eh, seems like a waste to me." An-Nai shook his head.

"Well if you want it you can go get it; I know you have a fetish for those things." Yoyaku responed. His younger brother glared at him.

"I do NOT have a fetish! I'm just saying that it's a waste because some little girl could be enjoying that." Yoyaku rolled his eyes.

"Please don't start that rant about making children happy." He pleaded. "Cause its long, and corny. I'd rather listen to a lesson on dirt than that!" Yoyaku twitched. An-Nai shrugged with a sheepish grin.

"I was just being sentimental..." he defended with a shrug. His brother rolled his eyes.

With that they continued the walk in silence, only the sounds of people milling about them. That even faded to the back ground as they were approaching a vacant part of town.

Well, the noise was _**supposed**_ to fade into the back ground.

It took Yoyaku a while to figure out something was amiss. He finally turned around to see the deserted streets. He saw street lights and a few benches among tree line and the roads branching off, but no source of the noise.

"Kai!" The older brother wasted no time in trying to dispel the obvious genjutsu. The noise instantly vanished as the world blurred away.

"Who set up a genjutsu?" An-Nai asked, now looking around tense. Yoyaku scanned the area for chakra signatures, finding none, he continued on.

"I don't know, It could have been a harmless prank; but it also could be something to worry about. Keep alert! We'll inform the capitan when we get to the headquarters." Yoyaku told him seriously. The tense boys began walking faster. They were scanning the area for chakra signatures; fearful that the genjutsu user will try something else.

**'**_**do you think**__ we should attack now?' _

_'No, we have to wait...then we can torture them.' _

Yoyaku and his yonger brother almost fell on top of each other as they heard a young childish voice. The voices whispered quietly, so quiet that if they weren't already paying attention the brothers would have missed it, or regarded it as the wind between the leaves. Yoyaku and An-Nai looked at each other in the eye. This could very well be dangerous, but it could also be harmless.

_'it doesn't look like they notice us'_

"Thats it, we know your out there! Either show yourself or we'll have to get violent!" An-Nai threatened after he pinpointed where a chakra signature was the strongest

'_uh...I think they noticed us.' _the childish voice responded

'_uh-oh! run away!! ' _a another called loudly, followed by the sounds of rattling leaves, scuffling feet, and a series of...

_squeek! __squeek! __squeek! __squeek! __squeek! __squeek! __squeek! __squeek! _

Silence.

Yoyaku and An-Nai looked upon each other uncertainly. What should they do? It sounds like children. but the skill suggest otherwise. It would be foolish to pretend it didnt happen or that it was over. It was also foolish to search for them beccause they don't know what threat they face. Besides, neither chuunin could sense the presence any more. If they risked going into the surrounding brush to find clues, they might find a unsavory surprise. They were anxious, only person coming to mind was the ominous prankster that was on the loose. They knew that if it was the prankster that targeted them, they were in trouble.

"What do you think An-Nai, run to the next post, go back to the Hokage, or search for them ourselves." Yoyaku asked him, warily surveying his surroundings for a sixth time.

"Hmmm, the prankster hasn't yet caused the Hokage any concern, so going to him wont really help us. If we head to our post the prankster could then set up a trap for us their just as well. I say...we look for him." At Yoyaku's glance, the younger brother continued. "We'll be sitting ducks at the next station, but if we take out...or just identify the prankster now we could get rid of the nuesance sooner."

"I...agree with you. But we should take caution, no telling what kind of plan they have to slow us down off their trail." Yoyaku told him.

"Not to mention we could be walking into more traps for us." An-Nai said to himself, dreading his decision already. But he couldn't turn back, partly because of pride, but also partly because the infamous prankster had to be stopped for the well being of all Shinobi. Yet all the things that could go bad rang in his mind, the paints, the sticky-pink-goo, the weird shapeshifting substance that scientists still couldn't replicate. All the times shinobi--even the elite ANBU--would burst in either terrified or furious, covered in feathers, tutus, flashing paint, stuck together...this prankster was the bane of the shinobi community. The only good thing is that civilians are minimally involved. At most they're fed up with having to see the remains of paint and sticky goo on their houses and stores. Even then the stuff disappears no later than two hours.

This disappearing act was also something the shinobi nor the scientists failed to figure out. Because the substance could not be stored for long term, it couldn't be kept long enough to test beyond preliminary observations. The shinobi tried to seal it multiple times, but all their preservation seals were somehow nullified. Also because a sealing master is so rare, they fell short of the expertise needed to perform the correct seal to store the remnants of the prank. Many hoped the sannin Jariya, a well-established sealing master, would come back to Konoha and help them.

So in the end, nobody knew exactly how the traps were created or who created them because they could hardly keep the clues in the first place. It irked the scientists and shinobi to no end that they couldn't solve this mystery, they couldn't even fully examine a clue!

"Ready." Yoyaku told his brother. An-Nai broke out of his reverie to respond likewise. The both cautiously crept into the surrounding shrubbery where they felt the strongest chakra signature before. The area was quite, with just the sounds of their breathing, the wind, and their feet. The ground littered with decaying leaves, branches, and a stubborn scruff of grass shooting up randomly. They scanned the area meticulously with their eyes and chakra, searching along the ground, up trees, and in branches and other vegetation for any clues. Every now and again a bird or two would sweep in and land on a branch. It would hop a few times, twitching its head from side to side, craining its neck sidewards to almost upside down at the two chuunin, as if trying to inspect every aspect of them, trying to see what they were prowling for. Every now and again one of the brothers would look up at the curious bird, who stared back for a second before launching itself off its perch and flying away. Another bird, or perhaps the same curious bird, was soon to replace it. This repeated pattern occurred over and over, each time the brothers took longer to glance at it. Eventually they stopped worrying about it at all and the bird remained, its curious eyes expressly on them.

Time seemed to stretch itself out, the sun seemed to be ever so reluctant to lower into the ground, as if it was curios to see what the brothers would achieve. It took steady steps lower into the sky, step, by step, by step. The shadows celebrated by stretching themselves out across the ground. They danced as the wind blew the trees and birds hurried to their homes. The determined lines in the brothers faces made themselves more pronounced with this lighting, and it seemed nothing could stop them except pure darkness. Regardless of its friends, the bird stayed and watched, its head twitched side to side every now and then, following their movements. The bird suddenly hopped around, facing the trunk of its perch. It hopped backwards twice before shooting off into the air to join the groups of birds circling the sky.

Feeling the loss of the small chakra signature along with the flapping of its wings, both brothers turned their heads and looked up towards where the bird flew off too. As they turned back to continue, both spotted something on the branch.

"Nani...?!" Yoyaku exclaimed, eyes widening and body tensing. An-Nai had a similar response.

There, on the branch, was the same rag doll as earlier. Its awing smile and its innocent eyes gazed directly into the shocked brothers. Her orange dress shifted with the wind. With the source of light behind her, shadows cast upon her face and the front of her body, adding an air of ominousness. The doll pivoted around, and lept off the branch.

"Hey!" Both brothers yelled, a rush of adrinaline spread through them and compelled them to chase the doll. They did so without second thought. They rushed through the trees for the rag doll that lept from branch to branch much like a shinobi would do.

"No way I'm letting the only clue we have all day run away!" Yoyaku growled, frustrated that a doll was faster than them. "Wait....a doll can't run..."

Yoyaku skidded to a stop. "Kai!" He said. As soon as he said it their world shimmied out of view, the illusion vanished to reveal them standing in the middle of the woods, surrounded by thick trees and brush.

"Damn, we were tricked by a genjutsu." An-Nai muttered the thought on bothe of their minds. Yoyaku ground his teeth irratably. They spent hours scanning forest floor only to be distracted by a wild goose chase from a genjutsu!! How far are they from the trail? Did they themselves disrupt the trail when they made their chase? Either way, they knew the search was over, and they had no results of it. Whats worse is that they were in the middle of nowhere while it was getting dark.

The sun laughed at them as it set in the sky. The stars that followed mocked them in their twinkling and the half moon spared no pity.

"I can't believe after all this time!" An-Nai snapped. He then took a breath. "Ug, might as well go back..."

"Don't leave now..." A childlike voice echoed ominously through the trees. The startled chuunin started looking around wildly, trying to find the source of the echoes.

"Dare des ka!? An-Nai demanded. "Show yourself now!"

"Oh?" The a new voice sounded. This one sounding like an female child. "Naze des ka? You're the ones who chased me to _**my **_home!" The voice echoed. "Baka." She added. The boys bristled at the insult.

"Look you're the one who decided to use a genjutsu on us!" Yoyaku defended.

"Me? I only used a genjutsu because your invading our property." The voice retorted.

"Public streets are not your property!" Yoyaku countered.

"No, their not, but this area is." The voice said bluntly

"You know what! How about you come out and we'll settle this!" Yoyaku threatened, throwing a fist up in the air and waving it towards the sky.

"Naze?" The voiced asked innocently

"So we can fight!" Yoyaku answered irritated

"But I don't wanna fight!" The voice whinned. Yoyaku smirked.

"Whats the matter? Scared?" Yoyaku smirked.

"No."

"Then why won't you fight?"

"Because I don't know how." Silence followed the reply

"You DONT know how yet you MESS WITH SHINOBI!" Yoyaku screamed at the top of his lungs.

"Well, I don't need to fight, you shinobi are so easy to beat." The voice responded sincerely

"Easy? How about we test that out!" Yoyaku growled.

"Uh...you see...about that...I have a beauty appointment in half an hour...so...I should be going..." The voice replied. The tick mark on Yoyaku's head looked like it was about to burst.

"You get you're smug vain self out here now or I'll light this place up!" He threatened.

"Burn my home? Now that's mean shinobi-san, I at least, left your home standing." The voice responded in surprise, then sadness.

"You! Your the one who messed with my place!" Yoyaku said enraged.

"Of coarse, who'd you think it was? A man?" The voice laughed. "You men really are hopeless; I thought shinobi are supposed to know how to read chakra signatures." Yoyaku didn't look too happy to hear that.

"So that means you're responsible for all the other crap thats been going on!" Yoyaku accused.

"Hai, I'm directly responsible for those pranks." The voice confirmed. "But I had lots of help from my friends!" She added enthusiastically.

"Naze? Why do you do it?" Yoyaku asked.

"Becasue...: The voice wavered, sounding serious, yet unsure. "Its fun!" It responded with cheekiness.

"What! Come out hear and let me show you how much fun I'm having!" Yoyaku yelled into the trees, eyes blazing white anger.

"Hontoo des ka? " (Really?) The voice sounded sarcastic. "You claim yourselves to be shinobi and you can't even see that you're in a genjutsu? Anata no baka."

Yoyaku bristled at being called stupid twice by the smug voice.

"Kai." He said. The world blurred away, revealing a small brown girl, dressed the same way as the doll. On her shoulder was the doll itself, standing with that immovable serene smile.

"Hm...I wonder when the other baka hentai will find that he's in a genjutsu too?" She asked plainly, raising an eyebrow. Yoyaku turned to his side to see his brother was indeed in a genjutsu, his nose was bleeding and he had the most redicoulous grin on his face. Yoyaku twitched as he released his brother from the genjutsu. An-Nai blinked twice before looking around wildly.

"Nani? Where'd all the dancers go?" he asked bewildered. Yoyaku's vein bulged from his temple.

"An-Nai, get a grip on your surroundings." He growled just loud enough for his brother to hear.

"Hm...truly pathetic, I've never seen shinobi as incompetent as you two." The doll-turned-girl said tauntingly. She then giggled. "Me and my family will have fun with you intruders." She then smirked. Turning to the doll on her shoulder she said; "How about you have everyone come out to play?" She asked. The said doll nodded. The bushes and trees began to shift and shake. The two shinobi tensed in anticipation.

"What's going on?" Yoyaku asked worried.

"Our friends just want to play a little game." The girl replied with a smile that promised something unpleasant. The doll on her shoulder lifted up it's arm. As soon as it did blurs of bright colors swiftly flowed into the open, circling around the two brothers rapidly, becoming nothing but swirls of color. The two shinobi backed up into each other, looking around frantically. The doll swung her arm down swiftly; immediatly the figures stilled.

"Holy *#!" An-Nai annouced as he jerked his head all around him. On the ground, in the bushes, in the trees...some were suspended above their heads. All different colors, shapes, styles, and sizes. Everywhere, were animal plushes. They all wore smiles that spoke conspiracy, and eyes that gleamed with malice.

"I suddenly feel like we should have called our mother." An-Nai gulped, feeling nervous.

"Don't let them get to you, their only stuffed animals." Yoyaku responded, reaching a hand into his weapons pouch.

"Uh...shinobi-san, I don't think attacking them would be a very good thing to do. Ramenette would not show mercy if you try and hurt her family." The girl said, looking genuinely worried. On her shoulder the smile on the doll was gone, its mouth gone completely. The dolls eyes were focused on them with disturbing attention. A very scary thing seeing as to how the eyes were supposed to be well-made embroidery.

"Tch, do you think I care about you're stupid toys!" Yoyaku yelled, whipping out a kunai with an explosive note attached.

"I like you're idea brother!" An-Nai yelled, doing the same. With silent agreement they threw the explosive notes.

"Wait-!" The girl tried to warn, reaching her arm out. But it was too late, the area exploded violently, forming a smoky clearing.

The girl let out a long sigh. "Oh well, it was nice knowing you two." She said defeated. The brothers smugly turned to her. Their smugs fell as soon as they caught sight of the doll. Its eyes were glaring, _glaring, _ at them. Its mouth set in a venomous looking frown. The smoke cleared revealing nothing but black soot and stuffing. The doll raised its arms and the remnants of the plushies began to glow greenish blue. The glowing substances started to look like liquid mercury as it started to group. Piles of the mercury started to build up and bubble. Slowly it started tuning into distinct forms.

Animal forms.

Arms started shooting out, legs, heads. The dolls were reforming.

"You think we'd let you finish transforming?" An-Nai yelled, boldly whipping out another explosive note and throwing it. Just before it hit the substances, the note froze in mid-air, blue ripples of energy spread out from it, as if it hit an invisable barrier. The note exploded, sending the surprised brothers skidding back. They had to shelter their faces with their arms to avoid serious injury. The dirt that was uprooted flew into their lungs, the pebbles assulted them mercilessly. As soon as the force from the blast stopped both brothers began coughing, trying to get the dust from their lungs.

"What...was...that..." Yoyaku asked between coughs. He looked up and, to his horror, all the plushies were back to their former glory. Except they had grins on their faces. The grins were frightening, they didn't belong with the plushies colorful appearances at all. The grins bared a wide view of pointed teeth, fitted together tightly. Their lips were like black lines, shaped in a cruel crescent. The brothers backed away cautiously.

"I tried to warn you. Ramenette is very vengeful." The girl on the branch shrugged. She sighed as she got up and lept five feet away, Ramenette the doll remained on the branch. She raised her arm, and a drum-heavy beat began to play a tone of doom.

The smooth beat was only offset with screams

-----

"You think my father will fall for such a simple prank?" Sasuke asked in utter disbelief. '_I can't believe it! The dobe's mad, utterly crazy!' _He thought. They were walking down busy street carrying cans of paint freshly brought from the store. Under Naruto's persistent 'suggestions' Sasuke was under the henge of the same brown-haired ordinary boy Naruto often runs under cover as. A henge set up by Naruto himself with a specialized seal. Sasuke looked at the back of his hand. Though one couldn't see it under the illusion was a complicated seal.

'_Naruto said that the Hokage taught him to do it...I'm still surprised the dobe didn't blow us both up. But still, he goaded me to join him, paid more than our grocery bill on these paints, and he wants to waste them on a simple 'paint in the doorway' trick? What will that accomplish? How does he expect to get the clan head of all people to fall for this? And even if he does, what will it accomplish? Our deaths?'_ Sasuke gave a wary look over the the grinning blond, watching as he almost skipped through the streets, the paint cans clinking against each other with each skip. Sasuke wondered about the village glares though. It was disconcerting. '_Perhaps Naruto pranked them all before...that would make sense, if he was bad enough to be chased by shinobi then he's defiantly bad enough to get more than a few vengful people.'_ What Sasuke refused to think, however, was that more than a few people glared, everyone did. Happy with his explanation he didn't think at all about the vengeful loathing in all the adults eyes, the disgust in the teens and kids, and the piercing watchful cold stares of the elders. No, he was certain it was only a passing anger from the blonds notorious pranks that Iruka is always scolding him about.

"It's not the prank that determines success, it is the presentation that determines its true value." Naruto said in a wise voice. He broke what 'wisdom' effect however with his immovable grin. \

"Do you smile all the time?" Sasuke asked a little irritated. '_Really its like it's glued on.' _He thought. '_Nobody grins as much as he does without drugs, how does he do it? Is his face frozen that way?' _He asked himself.

"No." Naruto replied, still grinning. " I grin all the time."

Sasuke gave him an evil eye. Naruto kept grinning.

"I still say its a simple prank and will fail." Sasuke turned away to face the road ahead.

"Hey, either way we'll still get a good prank out of it." Naruto shrugged.

'_Naruto does have a point...I should give the dobe some credit, he does nothing but prank for a living so he should know what he's doing' _Sasuke thought, easing a bit of his wariness.

Bang!

Sasuke jumped. He looked to Naruto to find him sprawled on the ground, paint cans rolling.

"Hehe, I tripped." Naruto said with a sheepish grin. Sasuke groaned '_Scratch that, I signed my soul away to an idiot.' _He thought in agony.

----

"I love this picture!" A female painter declared. She wore a white painters suit spotted with spots and colors from past use. Her female companion, also dressed in the same gear, shook her head.

"Saying that every two minutes is more like obsession." She smiled wryly. She carried brushes and paint cans.

Her companion responded by sticking her tongue out. "You're just jealous because you have to hold all that heavy stuff while I get to hold this wonderful picture!" She said with a childish arrogance. Her reply was a roll of the eyes.

These two were non other than Anko and Kurenai, henge and dressed up like painters. They posed as twin sisters, with orange hair all the way down their backs, orange eyes, and rounded faces accompanied with slightly chubby bodies. Their disguise was designed by non other than the mastermine behind th whole scene; Naruto Uzumaki. Why chose such striking colors? Because orange was the blond's favorite color. Why chose chubby people? Because female shinobi had muscle, not fat (excusing teh Akimichi clan)d, thus the different body proportions ensured shinobi wouldn't be investigated. And investigating civilians are surprisingly harder than shinobi simply because their are so many, and unlike shinobi their whereabouts have never been strictly recorded.

Anko was at first displeased with the disguise, her mind wanted a more...provocative outfit. But Naruto satisfied her with a picture of Fugaku Uchiha during the last prank, as he was being dressed up by his wife. The clan leader had wide eyes with tears pouring out. He was hugging a support beam in their library as his wife was pulling at one of his legs, forcing the glittering stockings on. Wrapped around his neck was a glittering purple feather boa and his hair was in short braids with barrettes and ribbons abound. His body was sparkling, as if he had been bathed in multicoloured glitter.

The best thing about the whole picture, as Naruto pointed out later, was that Fugaku's wife was not under control of the prank.

This particular picture had come straight out of Naruto's personal collection of best achievements.

"I love this picture!" The disguised Anko exclaimed again as she hugged it to her bosom. Kurenai rolled her eyes once more. After five more of Anko's declarations the painters arrived outside the Uchiha compound gate. Just as they arrived Naruto and a brown-haired boy walked up. Naruto met the painter's eyes. The painters nodded. Naruto turned to the disguised Sasuke and smiled.

"Lets see how good you can set up a prank." He grinned. He then whipped around and marched alone up to the Uchiha guards, who were dozing off at the entrance. (As guards opt to do)

"Hi!" Naruto said in a really loud voice, startling the guards out of their doze. As soon as they saw the blond troublemaker, they glared.

"Get lost gaki, you're not welcome anywhere." One guard sneered. Naruto grinned in response.

"I bet I can make you want me." He taunted with a sparkle of mischief in his eyes. The guards scowled.

"Yeah, We want you to go away." The other guard's mouth twitched, showing his annoyance. Naruto grinned wider to their chagrin.

"Okay, I leave." He said, turning heel and walking away. The guards frowned, trying to figure out why the blond came in the first place.

"Oh, I forgot, I wanted to give you a present!" Naruto said once he was five paces away. He pivoted with an evil grin.

FLASH~BOOM!!

Smoke filled the entrance. A breeze cleared it away, revealing the newly decorated gate guards. They both had orangish yellow paint oozing from their hair downward, into their eyes and mouth. The guards began hacking as the paint filled their mouths and noses. They fell to the ground as they tried desperately to removed the paint from their eyes and mouth. Naruto laughed non-stop as they swiped furiously at their eyes and attempted to spit out all the paint. After about five minutes both were able to see again, but the taste remained strong in their mouths.

"You %$&# brat! How (*&$ dare (#&$$(* you #^%% put (*&$^ paint on us?" One guard cursed fluently, advancing on the boy. Naruto responded by sticking his tongue out and pulling down his lower eye-lid, shaking his hips in a mocking manner.

"You blank brat, how blank dare blankity blank you blankity blank blank put blanking paint on us?" He imated in a shrill voice. Both guards grew red faced, steam stewing out of their ears.

"Hahahahaha! You look ridiculous! Hope you enjoy your present!" Naruto laughed as he turned around and ran, sticking his tongue out one last time.

"You !#$^# GET BACK HERE!!!" They both yelled as they chased after him while throwing shiruken and waving kunai.

"Hahahaa!" Naruto's laughter carried off into the distance, as well as the guards constant cursing.

Sasuke blinked as they disappeared from sight and hearing range. '_If Naruto always does that I'm surprised the villagers aren't outright attacking him.' _He though in shock. '_Uchiha guards are told to never leave their posts no matter what, unless coming to warn the village or something. If my dad were to find out about this..." _He thought as he turned to the perfectly unguarded entrance.

"Time to get this show on the road!" One of the painters exclaimed happily, skipping into the compound. Sasuke and the other painter sighed. With wary glances to each other, they both entered the compound.

Sasuke and the painter entered the grand stone archway and onto the well cared cobble stone pathway bordered by a manicured lawn and perfect flowers. Sasuke glanced at the painters.

'_Orange hair? Naruto had to have something to do with that.' _He thought. '_Naruto said if anything goes wrong head for the sane looking one.' _He glanced at the skipping disguised Anko who was squealing and kissing a photograph. '_I know who it's not.' _He raised an eyebrow at the painter's childish behavior. '_How does she expect __**not **__to get caught?' _

"This is where we seperate." The sane painter said in a monotone voice, interrupting the raven's judgements. Sasuke turned to her, his eyes assessing her. He then nodded, and turned to walk in another direction. Toward home.

"This is a crazy idea." He muttered as his feet carried him to his house. He imagined all the things that would go wrong. '_First off, this whole plan is dependent on my dad being in the hot springs. How likely is that to happen? Second, what Uchiha would pass up obvious intruders? Third, Naruto won't be able to run from those guards in nearly enough time.' _He frowned. '_This plan is ridiculous! It'll take me an hour just to set up these dang trap wire, and even then how will my dad, clan head, not notice them? Especially with Itachi in our house.' _He scowled '_Come to think of it, how am I going to walk in under desguise?! What am I doing!' _ Sasuke stopped abruptly, realizing how stupid this whole thing was.

"Ridiculous." He muttered as he looked up. He blinked, realizing he was already in his home, out side of the hot springs where his father was.

_'...how did nobody stop me?' _He wondered briefly as he looked at the closed door of the hot springs. '_Eh, whatever.' _He scoffed as he took out one of Naruto's storage scroll. He pushed a small amount of chakra into it, like Naruto instructed, and a thick skien of white thread appeared. Sasuke took the loose end and knelt down in front of the doorway. He pressed one end against the side of the wall and flared his chakra, sealing it. He did likewise to teh other, forming a thin trip wire. He stood, guiding the yarn along the wall, attaching it everynow and then for support, to his parents room. Sasuke was surprised to see nobody stop him yet...in fact, he hadn't seen anybody.

Looking around with an air of doubt, he formed another trip wire in this doorway, and steppted into the room. Sasuke guided the string along the wall, around the furniture, until he got to the window. He sighed as he created an 'x' across the window. '_Okay, now I have to get outside.' _He thought. Looking out the rather large window, he saw, as Naruto instructed, a sturdy branch awaiting him. Sasuke carefully climbed out, making sure not to upset the strings he set up, and sat on the branch that was about one foot below the window. Once he was sure he had his balance, he stood carefully on the branch, and started looking around.

'_Hm...Naruto said he left a marking.' _He thought, walking towards the tree trunk. He looked around until he found what he was looking for. An orange ribbon on the side of the branch. The ribbon was tied around a thread of string, much thicker than his. He cut his skein of yarn, and attached the end of the now loose string to the thread. Afterwards he added chakra. Satisfied, he turned back the the window to survey his work.

"What the hell!" He exclaimed, almost falling off th branch. The string from earlier had dissappeared. Vanished. Gone. Sasuke blinked, and squinted, trying to see if he could find it. Nothing. He looked to the orange marker only to find it was gone too. '_Where did it all go!' _He yelled in his head. He turned around to look towards the ground, wondering what he should do.

"What the HELL!" He yelled louder, almost falling off the branch for a second time. There on the ground was a very large painting. In this painting was a chibified Fugaku Uchiha in a diaper stuffing his mouth with spaghetti. The picture had the spaghetti messily spilled around his lower face, bare chest, and all over his hands. Strings of noodles were hanging from his mouth. Above the picture was an arrow made out of the words; 'More pictures over here.'

Sasuke covered his mouth with both his hands as he tried to swallow his laughter. The picture was utterly riduculous. The head was amazingly detailed so that it was undoubtedly his father. It was enlarged so much over the chibi body it looked like a design for a bobble head toy. Sasuke managed to get control over his mouth and bought his hand down. He sealed away the remaining skein and climbed down the tree via branches. As he was climbing Sasuke couldn't help but notice how the tree was a perfect ladder up to the window. He wondered if this was how Naruto snuck into Itachi's room, as he knew their was another tree outside his window.

Come to think of it...their house was surrounded by trees. All their rooms could be infiltrated this way. He froze just as he climbed onto a lower branch. How come nobody noticed this? How come the class clown did? Sasuke started his descent once more, deciding to ask the blond when he sees him. Once he was safe on ground level Sasuke began walking towards the entrance of the compound, following the arrows. As he walked he noticed he wasn't alone. Looking back, he saw some Uchiha gaping at the picture. She ran away, probably to her home. Worried that he might now be caught Sasuke sped up his walk toward the entrance.

When he caught sight of the next picture his feet rooted to the ground, as did his jaw bone.

It was another large painting of his father.

Now before we explain this picture, we should explain that Fugaku Uchiha is known throughout the whole compound as one who despises sweets. It was said that anything sugary that was brought around him would burn in his fire jutsu. And because of this their were no sweets seen in the clan-head's house. Sasuke, Itachi, and his wife Makoto kept all sugary confections hidden from Fugaku. In fact the clan head even tried banning sweets from the compound once. (Luckily all Uchihas have a weakness for sweets so the law didn't get very far.) Many rumors spread about Fugaku. It was said that his mother forced him to eat a whole bag of sugar at once, and he hated anything with sugar ever since. Another rumor was that he was attacked brutally with chocolate on a mission and had an aversion to all things sugary from then on out. Some say he has diabetes, so he hates sweets because he knows he can't have any. Others say on the full moon he turns into a Ukaguf and devourers all the sweets he can, and when the sun rises he turns back to normal. Still others say he was whipped with taffy when he was younger, and sees sweets as a form of punishment now. Several people thought Fugaku was an alien, because of the stereotype that all Uchihas were crazy over sweets. (This stereotype was not known in the village, as it was a clan secrete) There was even the unusual few that believed Fugaku worshiped the cake god, and was forbidden to eat any of the cake-god's subjects, who are all the other sweets in the world. (This faction happened to own a temple in a far corner of the compound dedicated to the cake-god. They worshiped their five times a day, and will kill anyone who disrespects the cake god.)

Now in this painting it showed Fugaku Uchiha, known sweet hater, stuffing licorice into his mouth. This picture was also chibified, but not to the extreams as the last one. This picture managed to keep an air of realism in it. The clan leader was set in a exaggerated squat low to the ground. His cheeks were bulging out dramatically as his large mouth was stuffed with a hundred ropes of licorice. Some droll was dripping off of them as he was trying to chew. One hand was trying to stuff more in his full mouth, while the other was reaching into the ground to get more. Fugaku was outside, in front of his home. The place were he was reaching was a hole in the ground. Off to the side you could see one of the lawn ornaments knocked over, indicating where the hole was hidden. The ornament was one of those green lions. The full moon was high in the sky. The chibi-man in the picture's eyes were wide, with dialated pupils. Somehow the painters managed to make the black glow in the picture, making the Uchiha look possessed.

Sasuke stared at the picture long and hard. It was just too much to take in. He didn't think it was funny...much. Not like the other picture anyway. Perhaps it was because he knew his father. He knew his father would never touch a licorice unless he was going to destroy it. The picture was unrealistic. Not like the last one was realistic either...its just that this one was...the picture looked too much like his father, and the situation looked to much like one of those rumors going around. Sasuke frowned as he walked forward. This picture was...weird. He could picture his father stuffing his face greedily with spaghetti, but not candy. Never candy.

"Hey kid." Sasuke was startled from his thoughts. He whipped his head around to see one of the painters behind him. '_How did she get there!' _His brain yelled.

"Its time to drop the henge, quickly before the others get here." She urged. Sasuke nodded and did as was told. Naruto told him to trust the painters. Once the raven boy returned to being a raven-haired boy, Sasuke turned to the orange-haired maiden.

"Are you going to keep you're henge up?" He asked. The lady nodded.

"It is necessary for us to keep our identities hidden until the whole mission is complete." She said. Sasuke nodded and looked back towards the gate. On the way Sasuke glanced at another picture. This one showed the Uchiha cowering in the trunk of a tree. His head in his hands which were buried in his knees. His back was hunched over dramatically. One wide scared eye peeped out between his fingers as he peered out the dark large trunk. On the ground outside was a chibified squirrel, complete with adorable eyes and sparkling fur was standing on his hind legs. The creatures head was cocked to the side in adorable confusion as it peered at Fugaku.

Then there was another one, with Fugaku covered in black soot. behind him a chimney with its contents spread all over the ground. His father looked like he was dragged through the garbage dump before the chimney, because of the food remains that were barely recognizable due to the soot. His hair was a mess, sticking up wildly in some places and matted flat in others. He was on one knee holding out a block of wood out to his grandmother as if proposing. In the background Sasuke's mother was giggling at them.

"You people have weird imaginations." He said to himself. He hadn't meant for his companion to hear.

"Not as weird as the person who came up with all this." The painter nodded.

"Hn." Sasuke nodded as they passed up the picture.

'_Naruto is more than just weird.' _He thought to himself, going back over every time he saw the blond up to today. '_How can he plan pranks, manipulate others to help, and still not be able to pass a paper test?' _He asked his conscience, fully expecting an answer. It just didn't add up in Sasuke's mind, something was off. '_He must have gotten help...he mentioned the hokage showing him how to do things, and these painters are obviously intelligent, so maybe he's just a cover boy hiding the real masterminds...yes...that explains it. Its not like he's hiding genius in his vest. And being a cover-boy would explain why he got chased around by shinobi that one day, like a pawn being sacrificed so the queen can do her work.' _Sasuke nodded to himself, accepting that answer. He has been thinking about this ever since he saw the shinobi chase the blond, and again when he managed to smuggle in coolers of ice-cream without the teachers knowledge. He's never been able to come up with a sure answer, but they all were along the lines of Naruto having help. And now that he's been inside a prank he has proof to his theory. His conclusion does explain how the worst student in the history of students is able to pull off pranks such as this one. And although Sasuke doesn't know about any other pranks the blond pulls off, this explains why Naruto seems to be in trouble with the whole village. Everyone is mad at Naruto because he's the scapegoat for all the chaos that goes on in the village.

Sasuke sighed in relief. '_Now that I know that Naruto isn't actually in charge, I don't feel so stupid for following him...pft, if Naruto was in charge we'd probably be in front of my dad by now.' _He snickered.

"Achoo!" A sudden sneeze snapped Sasuke from his revere. He looked up to see the brown-haired boy he was disguised as earlier wiping his nose. He looked up with a grin and waved at the two. "Nai-Chan!, Sasuke! You're back!" he grinned. Sasuke then noted that they were outside the compound. On the ground was the largest painting, the one Anko held so close to her earlier. Standing to the left Naruto was the other painter who was drooling over a handful of papers. On the right, to Sasuke's surprise, was his grandmother.

She wore a simple dark green kimono with sky blue trim. Her grayed hair was pinned up into a loose bun on the top of her head, and she wore rectangular glasses. She looked her age of 76 judging from her hands and face, but her stance implied much strength is left in her. When she saw Sasuke her eyes lit up.

"Sasuke-kun! I'm so glad you decided to help out!" She called as Sasuke walked closer. "I thought you'd pull an Itachi-kun on us, thinking you're 'too cool' to have a little fun at your Fugaku-kun's expense." she told him. Sasuke's eyes bulged out of his head.

"You mean you approve!" Sasuke exclaimed.

"Of coarse I approve, how else do you think they got the pictures!" His grandmother winked.

"THEY WERE REAL!!!!" He yelled louder, remembering the paintings.

"You got it gaki! Take a look yourself!" the spirited painter exclaimed as she shoved the photos in front of Sasuke's nose.

The pictures were most definatly real, much less chibi, but they were real photos entailing real events. Even the one with his father sneaking licorice. The one with his face covered with spaghetti, the one with him proposing to his grandmother...

"They were real! I'll never look at him the same again!" Sasuke ran his fingers through his hair, shocked beyond belief. "They were real."

"Lokita-kun here helped me make this all possible." She said waving to the henged Naruto. 'Lokita' blushed sheepishly.

"Aw, you were the one to come up with the idea." He said. And Nai-chan and Ann-chan did all the grunt work." He waved to them. By now a rather large crowd gathered around the pictures, both Uchiha and civilian alike.

"So wait, what was the purpose of this prank again?" Sasuke asked. The grandma's eyes lit up. She reached into her pouch and opened a scroll. The Inside the scroll was a screen that showed the door to the bathroom Sasuke's father was still in.

"Just watch." She giggled.

-----

Fugaku Uchiha was a proud man. He had right to be, being a feared shinobi and one of the most influential clans in Konoha, its only competitor was the Hyuuga. Thought the long line of Uchihas, they were raised superiorly. Yes, the were taught from a young age that they were the best. The clan head grew up under this strict superior thinking. As such no matter where he was he always acted superior. He put on his white silk robe with flourish as he stepped out of the sauna. He kept his chin high as he ensured every fold was crisp and perfect. Once done, he boldly step out of the room, and walked dignified to his room. Even along he had a proud stride, that bespoke confidence and arrogance. It seemed he looked down on the very floor he walked on, as if he created the wood himself.

He walked in this manner to his heya (room). He opened his closet to get out an outfit, but the sounds of a crowd laughing caught his immediate attention. Curious to see what was the cause of the noise he glidded across the room to his window and looked out. At first all he saw was a crowd of people arranged in an odd square shape, some chuckling, some shaking their heads, others rolling on the ground laughing. He leaned out the window a bit to see what they could be laughing about. Once his eyes caught sight of the picture they nearly popped out of his head.

"Who the #!&#& did this ^$%!" He growled, face getting quite red with anger. He climbed onto the window seal and out on to the branch, pulling and breaking the invisible strings which started the Goldburg trap.

Now Rube Goldburg was an american sculpture, engineer, author, and inventor. He is known for his cartoons dipicting wacky inventions that take a simple task and make it more complicated. For example, if you want to get a gumball you but a quarter into the machine, turn the handle, and take the gum ball. In a Goldburg maching, you would push the quarter down a ramp that, as it moves along, starts a line of dominoes falling, the last landing on a small lever, the sudden weight jerks the lever, releasing a latch that allows a rubber duck to swing down and hit a bucket of water and tips it over. The water spills into a trough that tips a scale that intercepted the gumball(which the quarter managed to get out of the maching and the spilling water bucket turned the crank on the machine for) and allows it to roll through a section of hose before emerging on a ramp, looping around thrice it flies through the air in a perfectly calculated arch and lands on a plate which is then open for you to grab the gumball.

Now all that activity was completely unnecessary. It is much more efficient simply to insert a quarter and turn the crank yourself. Naruto heard briefly about this contraption from when he was reading on his punishment from the hokage. Now since he was reading advanced textbooks, its assumed you already know who Rube Goldburg is and what he is known for, so the books didn't go into great detail. But it did go into enough to spark Naruto's interest. From the brief description of one complex invention he had the idea to create one for himself. Perhaps if he knew that the inventions extra devices were 'completely unneded' he would not use one for a prank. But the text he was reading omitted that little bit of info. Thus Naruto created a Goldburg machine....with practical pranking use.

Now, as Fugaku Uchiha stepped out of the window, his body yanked and pulled on the string that held the marker. This strong tug pulled across the roof into the the Chimney was a scroll. The tugging string released the loose knot holding the scroll, causing it to unfurl down the chimney. When the roll slammed into the bottom, along with the cloud of dust it pressed a dual trigger. The first released a key that rolled upwards. Now the scroll that unfurlled had a number of seals on them in a perfect line. The pully system that was released made a wooden nub filled with chakra slide down all the seals activating them as the key rolled up to the top of the chimney. The scroll glowed and the seals started spinning and morphing. While that was happening the key slammed into a button that released the latch on the chimney top. (Chimneys have specialized covers on them that keep birds and other small animals from crawling into them).

The second line that was released on the bottom of the chimney released. It was attached to a vase leanining on the tip of its base over a doorway. The released string made the vase fall, sliding down a wire its handles was looped in, spilling objects onto the floor. As it stopped by the chimney it spilled the rest of its contents onto a scale. Once tipped the scale yanked another wire that released a rather large piece of drapery causing it to slide down the same wire that the vase did and unroll itself, spreading little red flecks all over the room. Once the drapery hit the floor it pressed down on a string that opened the window. The pull of the window started yanked on a wire outside, that wound up the house and was attached to the chimney top. Because the top was unlocked, it slid slowly off, falling and shattering onto the roof.

Now this was important for inside the chimney the seals were still spinning rapidly and glowing. They started buldging. Slowly at first, until they released a glowing blob. This blob attached to a chakra fused wire and rode upward and onto the roof of the chimney. The blob pulsed twice before morphing into a little brown rag doll that wore an orange dress. Behind this doll five plush creatures came into existence. A purple spider plush, a baby blue elephant plush, an army camouflage patterned teddy bear plush complete with a machine gun on its back and a bazooka in its arms, a smoky gray pit bull plush, and finally a forest green and lime green panda plush.

The same wire that the toys glided out the chimney on is what they stood on. The lead doll darted off on the wire, the other animals following after. The plushies slide along the wire at high speeds, passing over the first picture. Fugaku Uchiha was busy choking the life out of one of the guards (not the ones from the gate, as lots of guards tour the compound for safety), most likely demanding answers. The dolls defied all since of gravity rode a curve on air. They stopped suddenly, directly above the angry clan head. The little orange doll nodded. The smoky pit bull's mouth popped open. Slowly a glob of pink began to roll out. It rolled out the mouth like a ramp and started falling down, down, down, down....

SPLAT!

Right atop of the clan-head's head. On lookers gasped and back away quickly. The oozy substance slowly ran down the Uchiha's face and shoulders. He slowly turned around eyes demanding where the substance came from. Everyone pointed upwards simultaneously. Fugaku followed their fingers and saw the toys high above his head. They looked at him with their synthetic eyes before zooming off, gliding through the air.

Now if the clan head wasn't so angry, he would have removed the gooey substance quickly. By now all members of the council knew what the pink glop did. They didn't know how, but they knew what it did. You see, Naruto's pranks all are reported directly to the council. The said council members demand all info so that they can find who is responsible for them. If only they knew the Hokage knew perfectly well who was involved, but the hokage says and I quote 'I don't know any man nor women that would dare do these things.' Technically, Naruto is a 'boy' and not a 'man.' Sometimes he turns into a 'girl' not a 'woman.' Thus the Hokage told the truth in all aspects. But alas they didn't, thus they were obsessed detectives searching for the answer to the unsolved case. But their searches weren't all in vain. The council knew of many of the devices the elusive prankster used. The pink goo was the most sinister of them. What ever it touched it was able to change the very molecular structure of. For skin it made unusual and sometimes long-lasting skin tones. (Like lime green polka dots on bright red and blue strips.) It turned hair into tails or feathers, or leaves, or fur, or yarn. One poor sap got it in his mouth and was immobile for the rest of the day because of the walrus teeth that grew.

Yes any number of things could happen to you at the touch of this goop. Like Fugaku Uchiha being turned into a dragon-human hybrid thingy, eyes roaring read and claws ready to rip the dolls and the mastermind behind this to peaces. Everyone quickly backed away from the raging Uchiha. Alas! This was Naruto Uzumaki's prank, and Naruto Uzumaki did not want to scare people...most of the time...thus it wouldn't do to have the Uchiha clan head giving old people heart attacks and scarring young kids for life. So Naruto provided humor in the only way he knew how.

Attacking male pride.

On the mad raving dragon with fire and smoke billowing out his eyes and ears, on his black scales and above his wiry wings that somehow passed his notice completely, sat a tiara. Now the tiara in itself is not enough to make the people overcome Fugaku's killer intent. Neither was the leapord print thong the dragon body sported, nor the brazier (Think fancy bra that is meant to be worn in public) that was black and gold and sequenced up nicely. No, even with all this the people cowered in fear. Even as the scaly lizard legs slowly faded back into human legs...with lots and lots of unruly hair covering them, they still were afraid. They remained afraid of the fishnet stockings that morphed over the hairy legs. They were afraid (and confused with why the clan head didn't notice) the red high heel boots and transformer-like jet pack on his back. So afraid they were when the dragon scales on his chest faded showing a pot belly with a painted yellow and black smiley face on it. They turned their heads and covered their mouths with both hands in fear.

Fear that the clan head would see them laughing at him.

It was peculular what determination and anger could do to a person. An infant is determined to get fed, thus they will cry and cry until either they are fed or they use up all their energy. A young child is determined to get some candy, so they beg and beg until they get their parents to say 'yes' or until the parents threaten their personal being. A sales person is determined to sell you a car, thus they will push and push until you either are cornered and buy it, or until you run off. Naruto is determined to eat ramen every day. So he kept trying and trying to find a safe way to the ramen stand away from angry extream villagers. The said angry villagers are determined to hurt the boy when ever they get the chance, thus day after day they wait patiently for a moment to strike. (Until Naruto distracts them with a prank that is)

Fugaku Uchiha was determined to destroy those toys, after he figures out who they belong too. So determined that he was chasing them everywhere they tried to hide. He was very focused on this task, so much so that he didn't notice he was going around in large circles and attracting a lot of attention. He didn't notice the growing crowd of people, he didn't notice that by now a decent number of villagers were inside the Uchiha compound watching both him and the paintings. He didn't notice his legs were donned a cheerleader skirt with barney shoes and medieval green tights. He failed to notice the licorice hair, zoro cape and mask, with a set of furry arms and a gorilla chest. All he noticed were the dolls that had done this too him.

Meanwhile Sasuke, his obaasan, the disguised Anko, Kurenai and Naruto all stood watching him on their t.v. like scroll, courtesy of the Hokage. They held their giggles in well.

"How did you manage to get him so focused on those dolls?" Sasuke asked trying not to laugh outright. His obaasan grinned.

"Seduction jutsu works in more ways than what its intended for." She said with a mischevious grin. "Thats an important thing a kunochi learns." The two orange-haired painters looked enlightened, like this was the first time they heard of it.

'_Does that mean he's in love with the dolls or something?' _Sasuke wondered, picturing his father catching them and then sitting them all out in front of a candlelit dinner with imaginary food and lovey-dovey eyes.

"Makoto-san is on her way now" 'Lokita' informed, "Worm-chan here brought the message." He held up a realistically-sized pink stuffed earthworm plush.

"Aw, I wanted to see what else he can turn into." Ann-chan whinned.

"As much as that would be entertaining if we waited any longer this this would all be for nothing." The aged woman said in a wisely. She promptly rolled up the scroll and handed it to Nai-Chan. She did a few handseals and quietly called out a jutsu. Not three minutes later the stuffed animals were headed there way with Fugaku on their tails. The lead doll dropped down from its hight in the air right on top of the grandma's head. The others followed landing on her shoulders, back, and the pit bull in her arms.

"Mom! You're behind this!" He said his rage disappearing momentarily for surprise. Before she could comment he built up rage once more. "How dare you! What were you thinking!..." And so began the rant.

Sasuke looked towards the disguised Naruto in question. "Your plan included being furiously yelled at and most likely punished by the clan head!" He whispered. Naruto shook his head.

"No, don't worry about being in trouble. Look at his outfit." Naruto responded. Sasuke did as Naruto said and saw that his get up had transformed into a get up similar to count dracula. He had a black tux on with a cape draped over one of his shoulders. His hair and skin returned back to normal.

"How is this supposed to get us out of trouble?" Sasuke asked.

"Think about what today is." His grandma answered, ignoring the clan head's rants.

Sasuke thought about it, today was September the 22. '_Whats so special about Sep--ohhh, right, that.' _He looked toward his father in pity. '_If my mom finds out he forgot their anniversary __again __ She'd probably kill him...' _He thought. It was well known that Fugaku Uchiha was not a sentimental guy, neither was Itachi Uchiha, and Sasuke was being grafted into that set up as well. Thus it came to no one surprise that he doesn't pay mind to his wife's birthday, his kids birthdays, his anniversary...well basically anything that shows he's not acting 'manly.' Problem was his wife was very sentimental, and it made her upset to see that her husband didn't care enough to at least acknowledge some of these days. No, the clan head boldly declared them as unimportant. Only problem was Sasuke's mother was a formidable shinobi, and when ever her husband said that she sent him to the hospital. Being stubborn, the clan head faithfully said it every time. It was such a common thing that the clan elders scheduled their vacations around these days, for it would take the clan head about two weeks to heal (and come out of hiding) with a peace offering for his wife. At the moment the said clan elders were happily packing up for an out-of-village vacation.

Sasuke was brought back to reality after his father stopped yelling, probably tired from it all. He looked and saw that everyone else was discussing some of the photos. His father formed a rather large tick mark to see that they weren't paying any kind of attention.

"Honey?" A soft voice called from behind, stopping the clan head from ranting again. He whipped around to see his teary-eyed wife. It took him a whole three minutes to realize what today was and why his wife would be so emotional.

"Ahhh...." He said slowly, wondering if he should try to come up with an actual excuse or just brush it off again. He couldn't tell if that was the teary smile that lead to a laugh or the teary smile that lead to the hospital.

"You actually remembered our anniversary?!" She said excitedly. The clan head's jaw scraped the floor.

"Remembered?" He said in confusion.

"And these paintings...you actually took my advise that you needed to show more of your personality!" She exclaimed in glee.

"Yeah....personality..." the Fugaku was speechless. If he told her the truth now he'd be killed. Not hurt, but killed.

"Dad was planning this for a while now." Itachi spoke up. "He even planned a special dinner-picnic out on the hills."

"Really!" She said excitingly. Fugaku was too stunned to speak, behind him his mother bobbed his head up and down with her finger.

"Come on! Before your picnic we have a party to attend at home!" The grandmother said, grabbing both their arms and dragging them off. Sasuke turned to his brother in surprise.

"You knew about this too!" He asked in shock. To his surprise Itachi responded with a no. "Then how? Why?" He asked.

"I don't want to become clan head." Itachi said simply. He turned on his heel and walked away. It took Sasuke a moment to figure out what he meant. If Makoto killed Fugaku, Itachi would be the new clan head.

"This prank made no sense." Sasuke said, watching him leave.

"If you hang around me long enough then it will all make sense in the end!" Naruto exclaimed, dropping his henge.

"Thats what I'm afraid of." Sasuke groaned.

------

Sarutobi sighed in content. Why? Because today was a rare day. Today his office was empty. Thats right, empty. No paperwork, no meetings. Yes today was a good day. The hokage was reclining in his chair, happily smoking his pipe. Peace and quiet was the best. Sarutobi had Naruto to thank for his lack of work. When word got out that a clan head was caught up in one of the pranks all the shinobi ran to the Uchiha district. Following them were all the civilians. Thus his tower was completely abandoned, as well as all the shinobi headquarters and administration buildings. The female population in particular was MIA in its entity. It seemed all the village females wanted to see if it was possible for the great and hansom Fugaku Uchiha to be caught in a prank. Yes, fangirl is a permanent job.

Some might find this unsafe. Any number of bad things could happen while the shinobi population abandoned their posts. But the Hokage prepared for this by making sure root shinobi were stationed everywhere today. Root was an underground operation controlled by one of the council men. Technically the hokage wasn't supposed to know about its existance, root was an undercover private military controlled by someone who was subtly trying to take over Konoha. But the hokage couldn't shut them down without definite proof, yet at least.

Despite the leader of the illegal organization scheming to one day kill him and take his place as Hokage, Sarutobi used the root shinobi quite effeciently. Since they were raised to have no emotions they had no problem with ignoring such a prank. (Among the shinobi population, the Uchiha and Hyuuga clan's arrogant pride had them praying for a day they would be mortally embarrassed, thus now that it happened they would not miss the opportunity to see it with their own eyes.) In fact, during all major pranks Sarutobi stationed root shinobi everywhere, since they were hardly Naruto's target, and when they were they never reacted, thus it was pointless to prank them. Sarutobi sighed with a contented smile. Inwardly he thanked his scheming underground enemy. He grinned wickedly, wondering if he could direct Naruto's attention to the head of root. Yes, that should thrawt what ever their newest scheme is, a perfect show of gratitude in the hokage's mind.

Might as well, Sarutobi already used Naruto's pranks to find undercover root members. It was rather easy, post shinobi that the hokage was suspisous of in line of the blond's prank. The ones that either broke down laughing or chased Naruto and tried to kill him were his shinobi. The ones that stayed behind or passively chased the blond were root members. He smirked. If Danzo knew how easily he identified root members he'd throw a tantrum. "Take that bitch!" He smirked victoriously.

On another note, the Hokage thought about Naruto's new found pranking buddies. _'I have to admit Naruto surprised me by inviting others into his pranks. Anko and Kurenai, two shinobi! Anko I can see would go along with it without question, but Kurenai? Will wonders never cease. To top it all off he got Sasuke to help embarrass his father! And Ai-san! _(Sasuke's grandmother is named Ai.) _If this keeps up Naruto will have an underground pranking army within a year!' _Sarutobi shook his head. '_Hmmm, Naruto has become quite good in his pranks; I think its time I start using his abilities to my advantage. This way he'd be under my protection away from the council. And this would be a grand opportunity to cement his friendship with someone his age. Its about time he started getting closer to his age-mates!' _He dropped his head.

_'I can't help but feel I failed him. All this time he's received nothing but hatred from the village. I wish I could have protected him better but most of the shinobi are against him, so they don't do much to stop bad things from happening, and worse they don't report the villagers responsible. Maybe now that he can actually hang out with students his age shows that the village opinions are changing for the best. And now that Anko and Kurenai taken an interest in him perhaps he will be a bit safer.'_ He chuckled_ 'Not that he needs any more body guards seeing as to how he pranks any shinobi or villager that looks at him funny.' _

He leaned back in his chair, taking a long drag from his pipe before letting out little ringlets of smoke. '_Now what can I have him do that won't be the root of too much trouble.' _He thought. He grinned evilly. '_One would think I would give him something fun seeing as to how he helped rid me of paperwork for the day. But I'm not that nice, Its time to get me some revenge!' _He started laughing manically, causing his disguised ANBU guards to sweatdrop at the random outburst.

"Thats right, I'll get my revenge!!!! MUHUAHUAHUAHUA

-----

Meanwhile:

Naruto shivered five times while sitting at the ramen stand. "I have a sudden feeling that I should hide for a long time...."

(*~~*)

_Nani- _what?

_Dare des(u) ka- _Who is there?

_Naze des(u) ka- _Why is that?

_Kai-_release

_Baka_-stupid

_Hontoo des ka? _-Really?

_Anata no baka-_You are stupid (Just as a note, the use of 'anata' or 'you' in Japanese should be avoided, as it is used only between lovers or close family/friends. It is disrespectful to use otherwise. So this was like a double insult ^-^)

_Gaki_-brat

_Heya-_room (rememberable name ne?)

_Ne-_Isn't that right? (Used mostly in very agreeable situations. Like :The Empire State building has a lot of stairs, ne?)

(*~~*)

**AN: **Okay, my teachers decieved me! Here I thought I was going to have a break from homework, but my but keeps landing in these stupid blue ribbon schools where the teachers want to overload me with lot of projects and work so it stays that way! ARRRRG!!!!! (As you can tell I write my intros before I write my chapters)

In other news, in this chapter I tried to show some of Sasuke's character. What I realized while I was writing an english essay was that I hadn't really showed much character depth for anyone. I started to with Naruto, but I somehow dropped character development completely. That just can't go on! As of the moment the characters are more like cardboard cutouts and its difficult to form believable interactions with them like this. Its hard to find a balance between humor and character development, and I've been under a writters block because of it. You can tell from this chapter how my thoughts seem choppy and incongruent to other chapters. I don't want to rewrite anything until I'm done with the story, but I am going to start sticking to a plot line in my writting, and stop thinking so much about the next prank, because thats what causes my block. In other words, I am putting more effort into this story than I have been previously. (In addition, I need to stop using the word 'other'.)

As another note, I haven't been able to think about any more pranks for Naruto to pull. I would love for some suggestions! Particularly using brainwashed chuunins (Because at the moment those two have no purpose), but any idea would be helpful. I just need something to start the creative juices running.

Oh and finally **Thankyou for staying interested in this story! **And **Thankyou for reviewing! **As always I would like to know what you think, so please continue to review. I love you, my readers, and hope you enjoyed this chapter!

_Sayonara!_

_Little Moon Tiger_


	15. Chapter 15: Pushing the Dominoes

Chapter 15: Pushing The Dominoes

_**Overview**_: From Uchiha Fugaku's earlier embarrassment the ramen stand owners were able to rack up more than enough funds to upgrade their place. But they decide to take a vacation with some of the extra money, Leaving Naruto alone, Sarutobi decides now would be an excellent time to implement his plan.

_**Authors Note: **_Wow, for as long as it took for me to type this I'd think it'll be longer! I really need to work on my speed, by slowness is getting in the way. First I'm always behind in art projects, then in my history, I'm the slowest in math, and now my writing takes forever!! I know I joke around about being a couch potato but I didn't actually want that to apply to everything! Oh well, ranting doesn't help me get faster much. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

_**Disclaimer: **_The Author's nefarious plans to steal the copyright of Naruto has been thwarted for legal reasons. As of the moment this author owns nothing but the plot...as of the moment...

**As A Last Note: **I'd like to give special thanks for Soundless steps for taking the time to review each section in chapter 13. It really helped me see my writing in different light. ( I would have wrote this in chap. 14 but I am a bad--er, excellent procrastinator) Thanks for helping me realize the serious moments are out of place, I kinda write on my mood swings thus they tend to shift dramatically, but I will try to fit them in more properly, meaning no more long stalls of writing!

To Era-chan: Thanks for the compliments and questions! Although I won't answer any because that will spoil the story, I'm glad to know my story is so stimulating, despite my grammar and spelling nightmares (Hopefully I don't have much errors in this chapter, I reread and rewrote it a few times to try and even out the spelling and such). And your ideas gave me some ideas of where I can lead the story next! The Hyuuga would be a worthy challenge for our favorite orange. I can't wait till I get to a new mini-plot line so I can use them!

To AspergianStoryteller: Thanks for the idea! Toilets! Perfect! I would have never considered that on my own. I am developing a prank I can morph around it now and so far I'm liking the results. When I do use it in a chapter I hope you enjoy what sprouted from you're suggestion!

To Everyone Else: Thanks for all who read/reviewed/favorited/story alerted! I wish I could thank my reviewers individually, but that will take about two chapters before I'm done. I really appreciate the support and ideas I get back! I wasn't expecting such a good reaction to my story. Honestly I was expecting dozen of flames on spelling and grammar, my weakest points. Thanks for those who flamed too! It really gives me motivation to do better and please my faithful readers. I even started writing out words that I misspell frequently 20 times before stair-stepping them in attempt to fix my horrible spelling habits that grew wild over the years.

Before I bore you with more chatter, lets get on with the story. Once more, I'd like to thank all my readers! Enjoy!

(*~~*)

**The Hokage****Office**

_"_This is definitely going into my personal collection." Sarutobi chuckled to himself as he transferred a thick paper from one thick folder to another. To the naked eye it looked as if the aged leader was doing his job. Of coarse, he wasn't. It didn't take long for his office to refill with files once Naruto's prank was over. However, instead of returning to the mounting stacks Sarutobi decided to do something more amusing.

The two folders were authentic files about trade between Konoha, Suna, and Ame. But that was where his effort to do his work ended. For you see, on top of each stack of papers were three slips of paper with a seal on each. These very seals are the source of the kage's entertainment, for they were from the one and only Uzumaki Naruto. The only person known, I might add, that is able to derail the hokage from his duties. Sarutobi eagerly applied a minuscule amount of chakra into one of the seals, releasing none other than a photo of the prank. His sharp eyes danced over the photo, sucking in the details of the picture, taking satisfaction in every paint hue, every misshaped limb, every expression of pain and suffering. He then either put the said photo in an identical seal, known as the 'return pile' or into his personal seal, aka his 'personal collection.'

His secretaries found it weird that the hokage was attacking his work with such enthusiasm, yet at the same time the pile didn't cease growing. Especially since the aftermath of the 'infiltration of the Uchiha' brought in truckloads of paperwork. They never seen paperwork bring such a smile on any man's face unless it was an order form for Icha Icha Paradise. But the hokage was the last person they'd see as delving into such an inappropriate thing. It was weird and unusual, but it impressed the secretaries with his dedication to his work. They looked on in wonderment as the leader focused intensely on his work.

-----

"How can he do it?" One secretary asked another as they secretly peered at the fire kage. "He acts like it's simply amusing!"

"I don't know! No way he can be amused only!" The second one exclaimed in clear disbelief.

"No sign of a nosebleed too!" The first pressed.

"The Hokage-Sama is truly a great and powerful man!" The second declared boldly.

"He is a battle hardened shinobi after all. It must take some form of super porn to make him loose control." The first considered.

"Oh man! That must mean he must be looking at some juicy porn right now! What I would do to get my eyes on it..." The second trailed of dreamily.

"Oh! The porn!" At that they both sprouted nosebleeds.

"What's this I hear about porn?" A third secretary joined in.

"Ah! We were just wondering what type of porn the battle-hardened hokage is looking at right now!" The second filled in.

"I never thought about his porn collection before!" The third gasped horrified. "All the times I've had a chance to look for it!"

"We have to find a way to get our hands on that porn." The first declared in determination.

"Yes. I wonder if that trouble-maker that plagues the town can help us?" The third thoughtfully proposed.

"You know what! Next time that trouble-maker distracts him we'll have to go in and look!" The second announced.

"Right!

"Right! Were the two affirmations.

"!!!!!! THERE'S A CRISIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" This shout vibrated throughout the tower so loudly that the spying secretaries jumped back and scrambled to pretend like they were working. During their haste they heard a door slamming and an approaching pounding on the stairs. The sound was so fast that the secretaries weren't even able to blink before orange streaked passed them and into the hokage office, the door slamming hard behind it. The secretaries blinked for two minutes, until they caught sight of a shadow running across the floor to catch up to the orange bullet, accompanied by a gust of wind and leaves from his speed. After the sudden gust past three tire marks were seen along the floor.

"I think we just saw the infamous orange bullet." The first blinked. Unable to come up with anything to say, the other two nodded.

----

Sarutobi was having a jolly good time snickering at the pictures from Naruto's contest.

'_If only Minato-kun__could see these!!' _He thought to himself.

"!!!!!! THERES A CRISIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The shout rang through the office, an possibly the whole village, shattering Sarutobi's amusement. He just put down a particularly interesting photo of Fugaku in drag when an orange flash appeared and Naruto morphed into existence, clinging to his desk as if his life depended on it. His blue eyes filled with desperation as they stared across at the hokage. The child was gasping trying to catch his breath...or rather his breath was still trying to catch up to him.

After a few moments, Sarutobi opened his mouth to ask something, but no sooner did he do this did a shadow run across the floor to Naruto, along with a strong gust of wind filled with dust and leaves, and then shouts of "hey!" And lastly three peculiar tire marks burned onto the floor. He blinked at all this.

'_How fast was he running?' _Sarutobi sweat dropped as he just realized what happened.

"Jiji! Its urgent!" Naruto gasped again, still looking traumatized. It looked like his breath came.

"What's the matter Naruto?" Sarutobi asked. He noted that the blond used the term 'jiji' instead of 'ojiisan,' meaning it had to be important for Naruto to suddenly shorten his title

"The ramen! Ichirakus! Its a disaster, someones forcing them to leave the village! They must be, because their leaving! WHYYYYY!!!!The world is so CRUEL..." Naruto rambled dramatically. Sarutobi sighed seeing as he wasn't going to get any information this way. But the hokage prepared for situations like this. In his top left drawer was a box labeled: 'In case of a Naruto-related emergency' That is just the thing that he needed at the moment. Reaching into this box the cage pulled out a seasoning package for instant ramen. He opened it and waved it under the panicking Naruto's nose. No sooner had the packet reach a foot within his vicinity did Naruto stop. He took a large breath and sighed happily, drooling just a little bit as his eyes rolled back.

"Ramen...." Sarutobi smirked at this. '_Its good Naruto__is so simple in the end.' _He though.

"Naruto, please tell me calmly what happened." Sarutobi said, still keeping the packet up his nose.

"Yes Ojiisan." Naruto responded in a dazed tone. "It all started after we finished our prank...."

AWSOME FLAHSBACK NO JUSTU!!!!!

The still henged Naruto, Anko, Kurenai, and the original Sasuke slipped through the crowds of people on their trek to Ichirakus.

"So who do you expect is going to clean all that paint up?" Sasuke asked after they cleared through the masses.

"Huh? Cleaning?" Naruto asked confused. "Why would you worry about cleaning? We still have pictures to sift through and everything."

"Well it _is _my family's home, and I am naturally concerned with the way my home looks." Sasuke said slowly. 'And I DON'T want to be stuck cleaning that up_.'_

"Uh, Okay." He shrugged. "Well you don't have to worry about clean-up, the paint fades away after a few hours."

"Aw man, I don't want it to go away, it looks so beautiful!" Anko whinnied.

"I know how you feel, but it's the world of pranks. You build this beautiful invention, that required all your skill and effort, but you have to tear it down in the end leaving nothing to remember it by." He said nostalgic. "But it's okay in the end because after the thing has been destroyed and you try to build something else with the same pieces, you work harder to build something to best your last creation!"

"Nicely put Naruto." Kurenai nodded.

"Oh and by the way you two can drop the henges, if Sasuke is seen with painters it would send the wrong message." Naruto turned around and started walking backwards to say this. The two jonin did so immediately. Unbeknown to the academy students the transformation seals Naruto has them use create a steady drain of chakra. Sasuke was fortunate enough to get a chakra-charged seal, meaning it was already charged with a steady supply. This was because Sasuke didn't know how to operate the seals, and it was quicker to give him a ready-made seal rather than try and teach him about it. The two jonin, however, knew how to use chakra for seals quite well, it being a requirement for becoming jonin. Thus they were responsible for holding up their own transformations. The transformation seals provided less of a drain than a regular henge, one didn't need to consciously hold it up, and it was harder to see through as it cast shadows.

Naruto's transformation seals, however, were of his own creations. Why? Because at the time he started making them he didn't have a seal instruction book, he had more of a guide book with references, so he had to build his seal himself. Had he seen the instructions for building a transformation seal then this wouldn't have happened, but that didn't happen in this case. Its like trying to use a foriegn language with a dictionary and a grammar book. You know the words and mechanics but you have to work to put them together. Naturally the way you structure sentences would vary from a native speaker, most likely included many unneeded words or formality that native speakers short-cut around. Naruto made his seal from scratch basically, so naturally by the time he figured out how to make the transformation seal work it was different than all other transformation seals. Why? Because Naruto's transformation seal was a purely solid transformation that altered the chemistry of ones very body. This seal was the same he used in his pink-goo-of-doom.

What does this all mean? Well it means that if you use Naruto's transformation seal to turn into the opposite gender, you actually are the opposite gender. Granted Naruto's seals are very complicated. So much so that neither he or the Hokage fully understood the bounds of his seal creations. It was all a big experiment in the end. The hokage, though, knows enough about seals to confirm that Naruto's transformation seal is safe, as long as the blond didn't mess up on them. Back on the subject, Naruto's seals provided a real transformation, but to feed this they needed a steady supply of chakra. It drained chakra slower than the regular henge but it still took a toll on one's reserves. In addition to the transformation seals the two jonin had to activate many seals for the paint to ensure it couldn't be removed until the time allowance was over.

They sighed in happiness after the henges lifted. They hadn't realized how much chakra was being drained until then. Privately and enviously they wondered how Naruto could keep up his transformation seal so long, he was after all, only an academy student. They saw him use the same seals as they did, yet it didn't even faze him. If they had known that Naruto always goes into the village under his sealed henge, sometimes with his ninjutsu henge, perhaps they wouldn't have been so surprised. Add that to the fact that he's been not only practicing with the same seals that drained so much of their charka daily, but also uses them frequently on his own (for this was the first time he's had outside help in the execution of the prank), one can begin to see how he managed to build up stamina.

When the transformation was dropped, Sasuke's black orbs widened in surprise at the sight of their vests. He returned his surprised gaze to the blond

"How'd you get jonins to help you cause trouble?" He inquired. Naruto grinned as he laced his fingers in the back of his head, trusting his ingrained knowledge of the road to ensure he didn't run into anything as he was walking.

"Sorry to tell you this Sasuke, but the Uchiha clan don't make very many friends with their attitude. Jiji told me that a lot of shinobi would love to get revenge on Fugaku specifically." Naruto told the raven. "Although the villagers hold you're clan on a pedestal, the way you're dad acts towards them is starting to kill you're clan's reputation." When Naruto said this Sasuke's eyes widened in shock. The Uchiha clan was the most prestigious in Konoha, even their school text book said so. Nobody ever talks about the clan having faults around him. Remembering his father's lessons he felt the urge to get mad at the blond for his blunt insult. But he also remembered that he himself is annoyed with his father's attitude, and could only agree. It just felt weird to have someone suddenly tell you something taught to be perfect had faults.

"You just don't know gaki." Anko directed towards Sasuke. "When you act like a self-righteous prick you make enemies. Your older brother is heading to that spot too."

"Itachi?" Sasuke asked in surprise. Despite his feelings for his father he saw hardly any fault in his oniisan. The worse Itachi did, is become distant. Anko nodded.

"Would it kill for your stupid fancy clan to say hi?" She asked exasperated. "All these clans are no good pompous bastards!" She threw her arms up in the air, getting a wary look from Sasuke, an understanding glance from Kurenai, and a chuckle out of the blond.

"Well actually, they aren't all that bad." Naruto started out slowly. "The the Aburame and Hyuuga nod in your direction, the Yamanaka, Nara, Inuzuka, and Akimichi smile, nod, and sometimes wave. The only ones who act stuck up are the Hyuuga and the Uchiha. The Hyuuga has sticks up their buts, and the Uchiha treat everyone like those sticks." Naruto rattled off. "Truthfully, I think Itachi has a long way to go before he becomes a Fugaku." Naruto replied. "Itachi seems more emo than anything else, kinda reminds me of Shikamaru."

"Emo? Why would you think that?" Sasuke asked affronted. He didn't mind his dad so much but he looked up to Itachi, and now these people were talking bad about his older brother.

"Don't get me wrong, I don't know the guy." Naruto waved his hands in a submitting manner. "But every time I see him he wears dark cloths, doesn't talk beyond what is absolutely needed, and he always has the same mask-like face." Naruto looked up thoughtfully. "The Hyuuga clan and the Uchiha clan think their superior, and let everyone know they think that. While Itachi just seems like he'd rather stand in a corner and not care." Sasuke opened his mouth to protest, but found his eye twitching as he couldn't gather an argument against such strong evidence. What ever happened to Naruto being the deadlast? He's poking holes of truth through his belief system and there's nothing Sasuke can say about it. He can't even act angry because underneath he knew it, but ignored it valiantly. Besides that part about his brother; he never saw him as emo.

"Wait, how would you know about how my brother acts?" Sasuke asked suddenly. Anko and Kurenai perked up at this. The mischievous child seemed to know a little of everything about everybody.

Well for one I infiltrate shinobi head-quarters all the time so I can prank them, and I need information about shinobi to predict how they will respond to certain pranks, second I ask a lot of people, most are willing to give me a good picture of what they see the person as. This makes it easier for me to destroy their pride, and third." Naruto grew an evil smile that made Sasuke a little apprehensive. "I've been waiting for a long, long time to get payback on the Uchiha and Hyuuga clans."

"What? Why!?" Sasuke asked taken aback. Naruto grinned.

"Because they're the most stubborn people in the village, and they make it harder for hokage-jiji to do his job because everything has to be how they want it." He replied truthfully. "And if jiji can't get his job done, then he can't buy me my ramen!" He yelled the last part with conviction. The three face-vaulted.

"You prank because the hokage is too busy to treat you to ramen?!" They exclaimed with one voice. Naruto blinked at their reactions.

"Yep, that's pretty much how it started. So I keep a list of everyone that ever made Ojiisan make this excuse and I prank them most often." He said, fishing into his vest and taking out a scroll He unfurled it to reveal eight columns of names running down the scroll, scribbled tiny and squeezed together. Despite his space-saving efforts the scroll was almost black with the number of names on it. "Some don't even live in the village, so when they come I have special surprises for them!" They looked on owlishly.

"So you prank anyone that got in the way of your getting free ramen from Hokage-Sama?" Kurenai asked incredulously.

"Yep." Naruto grinned brightly in confirmation. "Unless I like them, there old, a nice visitor, or hokage-jiji tells me not to."

"Wait, the hokage tells you when to not prank?" Sasuke asked the question that popped up in all three of their brains. Naruto grinned and nodded, surprising them even more.

"Of coarse, I hardly ever perform a prank without him knowing first. I used to but I always got in trouble for it, so now I get his sanction." Naruto gave a sheepish grin. "Sometimes, though, I don't let him know, thats when he sends shinobi after me or takes me out of school." He released a satisfied sigh. "Those are the best! They were so worth the punishments!" He said wiping away a fake tear of pride.

"So...the hokage approved of this?" Anko asked as she gestured to the Uchiha.

"Yep, why else do you think I'm still here with you?" He asked.

"...Because your still under henge." All three replied at once.

"huh? Oh, yeah. I am. But I'm not trying to hide; jiji already knows this henge is me." Naruto replied, smiling a large foxy smile and bright blue eyes gleaming mischievously. That was a feat because his eyes were brown under transformation.

"But...hey why are you still under henge anyway?" Sasuke asked, wondering how he forgot to ask about that earlier. Naruto's closed his eyes, still smiling large.

"I don't really have a good reputation. And everyone would rather jump in their graves rather than see me polluting one of their good children. Its better they don't know I talk to you, they'd kill me!" He said. There was a lot of truth in that statement. If they saw Naruto with the Uchiha youngest Uchiha heir they would riot for his blood. The village had a ridiculous obsession with hating the young boy.

"I guess that makes sense." Sasuke mumbled, remembering the shinobi coming to get him from class, chasing him at lunch, and the fan girls abhorrence of him. Not that he minds the last part. In fact Sasuke wished that Naruto would never change if only in that aspect.

"Of course it does! When have I never not made sense?" Naruto asked with a wide grin.

"Everyday you come to school looking like an orange." Sasuke replied wittily. Naruto pouted.

"Orange is a good color!" He defended. Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"On Jupiter maybe." Sasuke mumbled.

"You're just jealous you didn't think of it first." Naruto announced boldly.

"Think of what? Wearing something that makes causes shinobi to crash into buildings because it's so blinding?" Sasuke asked smugly.

Naruto opened his mouth to answer but stopped, pulling his left arm across his chest and resting the elbow of his right arm on it's wrist. His chin rested in the palm of his hand and three curled fingers obstructed his mouth slightly. His pointer finger tapped against his cheek while his thumb provided support. He tipped his head upwards slightly, sky blue eyes gazing up into the partially cloudy sky of Konoha. Sasuke blinked upon seeing the blond's thinking pose.

'_Is he really thinking that hard on a response?" _The raven mused.

"You know, If I reverse that seal and add a light component to the shift seal, refine the hue seal, up the concentration seals and distance seals..." The blond mumbled quietly. His eyes vibrantly lit up. "Yeah! A blinding orange outfit will be a great prank!" He announced to the world. Anko and Kurenai, among the other shinobi in the village, couldn't help but shudder at that outburst.

"What?" Sasuke asked lost. One minute they were trading flames and the next the blond is talking about blinding outfits. "I didn't mean for you to wear a blinding outfit..." Sasuke eyed the blond warily as a feeling of intangible dread welled up within him.

"You know!" Naruto prompted. "You said wearing a blinding outfit will make shinobi crash into buildings! You made you're first prank!" His eyes glittered with appraisal

"My first...prank?" Sasuke puzzled. " Does that mean you're going to make me do it?" He asked.

"Yep!"

"But I don't want to." Sasuke said flatly

"But You worried that I'd make you do it, even though I gave no evidence of such, thus you must really want to and don't want to admit it."

"I don't want to be involved with that!"

"But you thought of it!" Naruto looked appalled.

"I didn't even mean it that way."

"But you want to do it."

"I never said I did!" Sasuke cut off.

"So you say stuff you mean?" Naruto asked in a suggestive voice. "If you say it then you mean it?"

"Of coarse I say stuff I mean!" Sasuke pressed.

"You said you say what you mean. If people say things they mean, and you said an idea for a prank, then you mean to see the idea, because you mean the idea, you said that you mean what you say, so you mean you want to prank-to see the idea." Naruto rationalized.

"I-uh-what?" The raven's brow creased in utter confusion trying to un-mangle the disguised blond's words.

"Aw, come on! Can't you imaging your dad walking around in an outfit that will make others scream and run? Think of the embarrassment! The revenge!!" Naruto urged.

Before the vengeful Uchiha could even think of a response to that question, the blond hidden orange stopped, arms dropping from behind his head as a gust of wind caused another whirlwind of leaves around Naruto, looking almost like a miniature tornado, before disappearing. Naruto's stricken orbs opened and he grew stock still staring off into the sky. Before anyone could ask what was wrong Naruto started shaking his head violently.

"Oh no...oh nononononono!"

"Naruto? What's wrong?" Sasuke worriedly asked, following the disappearing boy's line of vision fully expecting to see the Grim Reaper or the Snow Monster floating around.

"It can't be...they wouldn't-they didn't!" He gasped suddenly

"Hey gaki what's wrong?" Anko asked frowning in concern. She bent down and knocked him on the head.

"Mr. Ramen Bunny's children...they aren't being made, they AREN'T BEING MADE!" Naruto yelled, pivoting suddenly. An orange flash flew out of the boy, dissolving his transformation like a disturbed cloud. A gust of wind whipped dust in their faces, they were barely able to catch a flash of a shadow. When the dust died they saw three...tire marks? The jonin and shinobi-in-training blinked at the foreign objects.

"Uh...do you have an explanation for these?" Sasuke asked.

"I don't even know what they are." Kurenai shook her head. Sasuke looked up at them.

"You think we should follow...?" He trailed off.

"Of coarse! That gaki has the pictures!" Anko shouted this revelation, storming off on the boy's trail. Kurenai and a reluctant Sasuke followed.

-----

"Alright Old man what's the hold up with the ramen babies!" A rambunctious voice rang throughout the little Ramen stand. Ayame, who had just glanced down to her notepad, looked up in moderate surprise to see Naruto on the stool, his arms on the counter, and his glaring blue orbs demanding an answer. The customers sitting on their perspective stools jumped at the sudden appearance of the blond.

"Oh! Naruto!" Teuchi poked his head from the kitchen. "I didn't expect to see you here this early." He smiled as he walked out, rubbing his wet hands against a hand towel.

"How could I not come! I didn't sense another helping of ramen being cooked for two whole minutes!" Naruto exclaimed in over dramatic anguish. Ayame giggled at his antics.

"That's because where closing early for the day." Teuchi told him.

"What! Closed! You mean like no more cooking Ramen closed?" Naruto asked dubiously.

"Yes Naruto, that means their will be no more Ramen. We have to close early so that the workers can build up a new shop." Teuchi explained patiently. The child looked to be having trouble grasping that information.

"Wait...you have to close? That means I wont have ramen for, for-"

"Two weeks."

"Two WEEKS!" Naruto fell off his stool. "But...that like...a really long time!"

"Its not that bad." Ayame soothed. "We'll be back from vacation sooner than you know it!" She promised.

"Wait, vacation?" Naruto asked suddenly.

"Yeah, we figure that since it will take so long for the renovations we go to Tea Country and visit some of my cousins!" Ayame exclaimed. "We haven't been their since the Kyuubi attack!" Her eyes danced with anticipation. Naruto felt her infectious energy spread through him.

"Tea Country! You mean the place where all great chefs were born? No wonder why Ichiraku's is so good! You have to take pictures!" Naruto rambled excitedly.

"I know right! I can't wait! I'm going to be so cultures in food when I get back! One of my cousins own an okinomiyaki stand! Another an International Restaurant, another owns a factory that produces 5% of Konoha's imported baked goods..."

Teuchi shook his head as he watched the happy children converse about the wonders of tea country and his culinary-based family. '_That went better than I thought it would.' _He told himself impressed. He fully expected the blond to cause some sort of public wide-spread panic the moment he heard the news; but the child took it all in stride. '_Looks like I will win that bet after all...' _He trailed off as he saw new comers enter his stand.

"I'm sorry but-oh! Its you all! Naruto told me all about you." Teuchi let a smile across his face as he saw the people Naruto had shown him pictures of. "I'm Teuchi Ichiraku! I'm glad you all decided to come aboard on this." Anko grinned while Kurenai bowed slightly.

"We're glad to have been invited." Kurenai said politely.

"Haha! I trust you plan on helping out with many more, right?" He asked, sparkle of mischief in his deep brown eyes.

"Of coarse! That gaki is the best gaki I've ever seen!" Anko responded fiercely. "I love to see what he'd come up with in the T.I.U" Her eyes glinted for blood. Kurenai shot her sister-friend a look.

"Anko, you better not dare take him to the Torture Interrogations Unit." She growled. Anko held up hands in defeat.

"Relax, relax, I wasn't going to take him there." Despite what she said, a nonverbal '_While you're looking' _was heard by all three adults.

"Ah, I'm afraid were running on a tight schedule. Lets get to business about those photos." Teuchi called their attention over. "Naruto said it would be your jobs to chose the top five pictures out of the ones given to us. Once you have the winners give them to the hokage so he can distribute the prizes. I have the P.O. address of where you'll find the photos. It'll be available after school tomorrow. The address is in Sasuke's name, so you need him to get the photos." Teuchi finished looking at the Uchiha in question.

Sasuke stood unnoticed just behind the jonin, listening in attentively while at the same time looking uncaring. A trait his father pushed into him. He raised an eyebrow. '_My name?' _He thought.

"I also have a secure location for you to take the photos listed, Naruto wants you go under transformation as a civilian tourist family." He finished, fishing out an envelope. "Kurenai-san, my favorite customer told me of Anko's wild nature and suggested that you be the one to hold this information. Anko-san, he has the impression that you'd break in and take the photos yourself leaving everyone else out of it."

"I see, that does sound like you Anko-chan." Kurenai turned to her pouting jonin.

"No fair." She huffed.

"I won't misplace your trust then." Kurenai turned back to the ramen vendor, completely ignoring her friend. The envelope was placed in her hands and she slid it into the inside pocket of her jonin vest.

"Speaking of trust, I have a favor to ask you three." Teuchi said in a hushed tone, glancing back to his daughter and Naruto for a moment.

"Favor? What type of favor?" Anko asked.

"I ask that you watch over Naruto while we're gone. I have a feeling he's going to get into some kind of trouble while we're not here to watch him." He looked at them pleadingly.

"Huh, That's it? Sure, we'll watch the brat. We're going to be spending time with him anyway, might as well make sure he doesn't kill himself trying to pull a prank." Anko shrugged unceremoniously.

"Rest assured Teuchi-san, we'll take care of him." Kurenai added. Teuchi looked towards Sasuke.

"I have to keep an eye on him for my own sanity anyway way." He shrugged. Teuchi let out a relieved smile.

"Thanks, I know I may seem worried for nothing, but Naruto tends to act irrationally when he doesn't eat his favorite foods."

"We'll keep that in mind." Sasuke mumbled to himself, dreading Naruto's 'irrational' actions. '_How much worse could he get?!" _

"Alright, I'm afraid it's time for us to go." He said, turning around. "Ayame! Its time."

"Already!" Naruto whined. Ayame giggled and gave him a hug.

"Don't worry Naruto! We'll be back before you know it!" She promised.

Ayame left behind the counter to get their bags while Teuchi ushered them outside the ramen stand. When Ayame came out with two large tote bags Teuchi closed the shop.

"Alright, we better get going before Naruto does something drastic to make us stay." Teuchi said as he ruffled Naruto's hair one last time. "See you later Naruto!" Teuchi exclaimed. Ayame gave him one last hug before they took off towards the gate.

"Have a good trip!" Naruto waved to them.

"We will! Be good!" Teuchi called as they waved back until they disappeared from view. As soon as they were gone, however, Naruto's hand dropped. His smile flickered away before disappearing, and his bangs overcast his face, making him look emotionless.

"Naruto?" Sasuke blinked at the sudden mood change. Anko and Kurenai looked at him.

"Two weeks....two weeks..." He repeated, his body trembling.

"Well...you still have instant ramen?" Sasuke tried, seeing the boy disturbed.

"Instant ramen....two weeks...." His lip quivered.

" THERE'S A CRISIS!" Naruto yelled unexpectedly, making all standing around jump. A flash, and the blond orange was gone, wind whipped them in the face. The blinked, seeing a shadow on the ground. The shadow seemed to take the form of a sleeping boy, before jolting awake. It reached its arm out and started running after the blond leaving three tire marks in its wake.

----

Meanwhile:

Ayame and Teuchi heard the yell as they were walking towards the gate.

"I knew it, he wouldn't even last till we got to the gate." Ayame announced triumphantly, holding out her hand.

"Know-it-all" Teuchi grumbled, jamming his hand into his pocket to snatch out some yen. He put it in his triumphant daughter's palm.

-----

END FLASHBACK no JUTSU

Sarutobi nodded thoughtfully, stroking Naruto's hair. During the story Naruto went from standing on the other side of the desk to curled up in the kage's lap crying. Sarutobi had known about Ichiraku's vacation. It was the best thing to do seeing as to how the ramen bar was going to take two weeks to be remodeled, so its not like Naruto would have been able to eat there anyway. But the melodrama wasn't just because of the ramen. Naruto was genuinely sad that the two ramen vendors would be gone for two weeks. Ichirakus was like Naruto's home, with a grandpa and a big sister always greeting him with open arms. But now for two weeks Naruto won't have their company.

"I...wont...have homemade ramen...for two...weeks." He sobbed dramatically. Sarutobi sighed. But of coarse, Naruto embodied everything good in ramen. He predicted that after this Naruto would start referring life to ramen.

'_This means I have to make sure he doesn't have too much free time or else he'll do something dramatic.' _He considered.

"Naruto, I know you're sad about this, but can't you focus on the good in this?" Sarutobi asked. Naruto pulled himself back so that he could look at Sarutobi in the eyes. His blue eyes rippled like the ocean.

"Good?" He asked. Sarutobi nodded.

"Yes, Ayame-chan's mother died when she was really young, so she doesn't remember that much about her. And she's been in Konoha most of her life. This is pretty much her first time to meet her relatives, and because of where they live its a rare time for her too. Don't you think you can be happy and hope she has the best time possible?" Sarutobi asked. Inwardly the kage knew it was wrong to use the boy's emotions against him, but it was all for the better good. Naruto blinked thoughtfully. Even though Ayame had told him something similar earlier, he hadn't really thought logically about it. All things considered he realized he was being extremely selfish in wanting the ramen girl to stay only to satisfy him. He felt fortunate that they were in Konoha at all instead of in tea country with her family. He was happy for them earlier when they left, but now he fully understood the importance of it and became really happy.

"You're right ojiisan." Naruto said after a while, smiling. "This is a great opportunity! I finally get to make a welcome home present! I never made a welcome home present before!" He got excited. Sarutobi chuckled.

'_Naruto__you are a weird one alright. You change moods like politicians change minds.' _He thought. At that moment it occurred to Sarutobi that Naruto would probably be the best hokage with his attitude. Politics have a tendacy to ping-pong all over the place before any thing can move forward. But with Naruto's random attitude and short attention span he might never be frustrated by the jumbled mess of politics because he himself is not a linear thinker. Hell he'd probably frustrate everyone else with his happy-go-lucky random personality, making the decisions go faster so that other politicians won't have to get involved in Naruto's since of logic; which to the naked eye is non-existent. Sarutobi, in a random flash of thought, wondered what would happen if he put Naruto as one of his advisors to those tedious political battles. For some reason he saw Naruto both winning the argument and the people leaving in Miss America Beauty Pageant gowns and tails. 'Hm, _now that I think about it using Naruto's pranks as black-mail could get those council members to agree to stuff a lot faster...' _

"Yes, I know that they would love to see that." Sarutobi nodded and smiled, returning to the present conversation. "Besides, I have a proposition for you and your prank-mates." Naruto looked interested.

"You do? Like what?" He asked with his eyes sparkling in curiosity.

"As you know the council is persistent to find this prankster." Sarutobi began. Naruto nodded. "And you are well aware of the stuff they'll pull once they find out it's you." Naruto nodded with less vigor and a wary look in his eyes. "Well its come to my attention that they're showing signs of getting common sense of who's the prankster is, in fact the only thing thats keeping the obvious from their faces is the fact that they rather die than say the truth." Naruto's eyes were wide with understanding.

"So if they ever got over themselves then I'm busted." He stated. Sarutobi nodded.

"But I have a plan. You start working for me and even if the council does find out I can truthfully say it was a mission of sorts." He said. Naruto looked curious.

"So then I would really be doing secrete missions!" Naruto perked up. "With mission pay and everything?"

"Exactly."

"This is going to be so cool!" Excitement danced in his eyes. He then returned to the aged leader. "What do you want done first!" He focused on the kage.

"Before I tell you exactly, can you spy on someone without actually being there?" He asked. Naruto looked surprised at the question.

"No, I never really thought about that. I did all my spying myself...are you talking about something like a video camera?" He asked.

"Yes, Exactly like that, except a camera would be discovered too easily I'm afraid. And the situation is too dangerous to send anyone out. I'm dealing with experts on infiltration in this scenario." He sighed. "Well if you don't have anything then I guess I will give you another-"

"Do you want me to make one?" Naruto interrupted with curious blue eyes.

"It would really help, but it's impossible to try. I don't even know why I asked, my senility must be making me expect the impossible." He sighed, shaking his head while sagging his shoulders.

"I can do it! What's so hard about it? People always say things are impossible because they never try. How many villagers do you think will say its impossible to walk on water? What about sealing buckets of paint in a thin sticky note? I can do it!" Naruto protested. Sarutobi gave him a pleased smile. '_Played like a violin! Now that Naruto__sees it as a challenge he'll have something up and running in no time!' _

"Well if you really think you can create something like that. But if you try you have to make sure as few people know about it as possible." he cautioned.

"Don't I always?" was the rhetorical response.

"So do you plan on involving you're new group in this?" the kage asked. Naruto looked thoughtful.

"I don't know. I always made things alone or with you. I'd have to try to make it first to see how difficult it's going to be." Naruto admitted a little uncomfortably. He never thought of having others besides the Sadaime to help with his inventions. Add to the fact that this invention is one of the few that are not prank related, Naruto felt a bit unsure of all the new territory he was trekking.

"I see." the aged leader nodded. "Well keep me informed on what you're doing. As for the mission I need done exactly;" Sarutobi paused and opened up one of his drawers and fished out a rather long scroll. Clearing away a space on his desk he unrolled it to reveal a map of part of the village. "I need you to damage this building pass repairable within the next few weeks." He said pointing to an area on the map.

Naruto looked to memorize the location. This area was straddling the business district. Sarutobi next took out a picture of the said building. It was a three story weapons shop. The first floor was obviously the shop area with large display windows and sale signs. The second and third looked to be living quarters with a red roof shingling and a large circular sign above it. The building was nestled quietly between a wide five-story apartment complex and a quaint shop that specialized in clocks, watches, and trophies.

"So you want me to destroy the weapon shop?" Naruto asked.

"No, just severely damage it so that it has to be reconstructed. Make it look like unintentional, even if you have to shake up a few of the other buildings. And make sure you do it safely too!"

"I understand, sounds easy enough. Demo, naze?" He asked with a muddled frown.

"This is something that I can't tell you right now." Sarutobi said apologetically.

"Oh." The boy troubled his lip with a worried frown before returning to his usual cheer. "Alright, tonight I'll scope out the area and start getting information on the...uh...video thingy."

"That sounds good. Make sure the building looks accidental."

"Ojiisan." Naruto rolled his eyes. "I know what I'm doing." The aged leader chuckled.

"That you do. You grow up so fast it's still hard to believe what you're capable of." said with a hint of pride. Naruto blushed under the praise, amusing Sarutobi with his modesty. '_Its true, how many other nine-year-olds__can outsmart the majority of all my shinobi__plus a few ANBU? Minato-kun, you and Kushina__would have enjoyed this little trouble-maker. Perhaps if you were around he wouldn't need to hide his genius; although there's so much of it I don't understand how he's able to keep the face of a dead last. Minato-kun, if you were here I'd bet Naruto-kun__would give you a run for you're money. Kushina-chan__you'd be proud to see his pranks!' _

Naruto gave a sheepish chuckle at Sarutobi's growing look of pride, he scratched the back of his wild golden locks a little awkwardly. He hopped up from off his perch on his desk (When exactly he got their was anybody's guess), and straighten out his thin orange vest.

"I better go scope out this place." He grinned, "While I still have some sunlight left." At the hokage's nod Naruto dashed off in a streak of orange. This time, the leader noted, his shadow kept up with him.

"How does he out run his _shadow _with _chakra__weights _of all things?!" He asked incredulously, remembering his earlier entrance. He shook his head. '_The Nara clan would probably abduct him if they found out.' _He envisioned Shukaku's face as he tried trapping the blond's shadow after some prank only to find Naruto ran away from it.

"Defiantly worth seeing."

-----

Naruto stealthily made his way across the buildings in the glow of orange spilling from the low-hanging sun. He loved this time of day; it was the easiest time he had with stealth. This period during the day was the special window in which he's able to sneak around most of the jonin and ANBU; all attributed to his orange suit. If he told anyone that his orange helps him hid better they'd laugh at him, but it was true, the glowing orange he wears in combination of his sunny locks aid his stealth quite notably. Why? Well because certain shops like to overcharge for cloths all he could really afford was the bright orange items that weren't hot sellers. (Which he didn't mind because it was his favorite color.) Add that to the fact of the angry villagers attacking him when ever he was in sight when he was younger it was either learn to hide or live locked away from human contact. Being a clingy child, he chose the former over the latter. Despite the troubles he had initially starting out, he was extremely motivated, thus he was a quick learner. He didn't understand the chakra or any shinobi concepts back then, so he had to develop stealth the old fashion way; knowing how to work with shadow and light.

All black would have made it plenty easy for him to stay out of sight in the dark, if he found a way to cover his flashy hair. But necessity called for him to hide in bright places. For instance, he had to get past volatile villagers before he could enter some of the few stores that sold to him, and even then he had to remain out of sight in the brightly lit stores to avoid confrontation with other customers. It was several times more dangerous to travel around at night in the village due to drunks, especially the drunk shinobi, thus despite more people being out in the day they were more tolerable; especially when he learned to spot and hang around tourists. So for him to travel anywhere through the village it was wiser to do it during the day, so he developed his skills to do so. His bright orange outfit helped tone down the flashy gold of his hair and made it easier to travel in well lit places in plane view.

If you were to ask me the science of being unseen in the bright cloths and sunlight, I wouldn't be able to explain. But somehow our young hero-in-training learned to do it. In learning he found the best time to travel was either dawn or dusk, when the sun decided to color coordinate and send illuminating orange rays over the village, bathing everything it touched to transform it orange itself. Naruto's hair converted itself to this orange hue along with his tan skin; making it ridiculously easy to escape untrained eyes. With simple knowledge of light and shadow that he was able to gather even before he could read, he found ways to be undetected in plain view; even when the ANBU were searching for him after a prank. When he tries his best, he can sneak pass almost anyone. It really was quite an impressive feat, especially considering his young age.

But for Naruto it was never something he could take pride in. In the end made him more humble and shy. (It may be hard to believe, but, despite his extrovert behavior he hardly says more than two basic facts about himself: he likes ramen and he wants to be hokage. To learn more you have to ask him and spend time with him. Even then he has an uncanny ability to avoid displaying much of his inner thoughts, feelings, ideas, and beliefs while at the same time make you think you learned something new.) He could never take pride of it because of the reason he learned to be so stealthy, and its a reason he hates to face. He learned stealth because his life depended on it. If he didn't learn it then he would have never been able to travel alone to the shops or stores in the village; he wouldn't have been able to travel anywhere with people at all for that matter. Unless the hokage always was by his side (back then he didn't know of his bodyguards so it was never an alternative for him) he would face violence for simply walking to school. He didn't take pride in the thought that he learned stealth because everyone hated him and he wasn't accepted in society. In a way that attitude is what made him so good at stealth. It was for his survival, not entertainment. It was as important as eating and sleeping; something to never be taken lightly. He practiced it whenever he could where ever he could. Stealth for him was second nature, he trained himself to a point where he could be stealthy enough for an unsuspecting mid-chuunin without trying hard.

Now back to our little stealthy shinobi-in-training. He went undetected to the weapons shop in the picture, flying past several patrols with relative ease. He landed right in front of the building in the partial shadow of a particularly tall villager. He slipped between several civilians as a ghost before morphing into the alley around the side. He cautiously ran around the building back to the front before leaping onto the roof beside the tall sign. He took note of the storage shed in the back, the locked cellar door nestled hidden amongst leaves in the back, a side door on both sides of the building, and the two doors on top of opposite corners of the square roof. From the dirt and debris that seamlessly lined the doors he made a safe assumption that they were unused. Sensing a passing patrol he quickly submerged himself back into the last hour rush of the people below. A few moments later Mieru made an appearances inside the shop.

The shop looked pretty ordinary. Racks of weapons and weapon kits were on display; and an older man was behind the counter leaning forward slightly. His steady black orbs was now on the chef persona. His black hair put into a low ponytail glinted duly at him. Somehow Naruto felt something rise within him at the sight of this man. It was a weird...something he felt. His subconscious somehow understood the need to bring the shop down. Ignoring this, he walked up to the counter with an unsure sort of smile, going into acting mode head on.

"Hi, um my little brother is aspiring to be a shinobi, and I was wondering if you had practice gear? One of the other parents told me that weapon's shops sold blunted gear for that sort of stuff." He spoke with a slight waver in his deep voice, looking at the employee with a sort of awkward hope. Internally he thanked the hokage for that book punishment not too long ago. That psychology book made acting really easy once he memorized the unspoken and spoken body language that people gave in certain situations. The guy stared at him with steady black eyes for a second, and Naruto wondered briefly if he didn't act good enough the part. Suddenly the man smiled.

"Of coarse, we have a basic starter kit." The man said, standing and gliding over to where the said kit was. He slipped back behind the counter.

"Will that be all?" He asked. Mieru nodded.

"I think so, I mean, that's all a beginner needs right?" He asked unsure. The man nodded with a smile, closing his eyes.

"Yes of coarse." The man smiled as he rung up the items. "That'll be 2195 yen."

"Thanks! You're a life saver." Mieru responded gratefully as he passed over the cash. In his haste to grab the money the cashier's hand brushed across Mieru's. The man smiled.

"No problem, I hope you're brother does well."

"Yeah, me too." Mieru flashed a smile before walking out the shop and getting lost in the crowds. As soon as he left the employer's smile fell from his face. He kept his steady eyes on the door.

"Tsu, keep track of him." The man ordered. From the shadows a man in his 20s emerged, wearing standard shinobi gear. He had tame dark brown hair and black eyes.

"You think he's a spy?" the one named Tsu asked.

"He could be. I felt his chakra pathways were opened and recently used. There's no way he can be a civilian with that much chakra. He has to be low Chuunin at least. Return when you found out everything about him."

"Hai." Tsu responded, disappearing. The shop owner's eyes remained steady on the door.

-----

There was something wrong.

The disguised Mieru slowed down his quick pace through the shopping district unable to shake the feeling that something was wrong. For some reason his instincts didn't want to go to his FTA or any training area for that matter. It was a feeling he's felt a few times before; approaching his birthdays particularly. He didn't understand why but the hatred the village displayed increased ten fold around that time, yet the mobs mysteriously subsided. During that time he remembers feeling this feeling, but he'd never thought to identify it before, with his mind always focused on wondering about the village's hate.

But he feels this feeling again, and though it was approaching his birthday he wasn't running around as himself but under a transformation. A transformation that time and again proved reliable. So why was he feeling this feeling now? He felt the urge to turn down one random street and did so. The feeling stayed with him. He tried to calm down, mentally going through the relaxation breathing exersizes mentioned in the sword scrolls the hokage gave him.

The feeling didn't go away.

He frowned slightly. Perhaps he needed a distraction; yeah that's it. He's a little paranoid because he's doing something he's not familiar with so he needs a good distraction. Smiling at himself for this revelation he flanked left and down one seemingly random street. With very careful care, every flank flared a small amount of chakra through his feet. This continued until he circled around in front of a restaurant. Grinning he walked up to the door, spilling a bit of chakra into the handle.

A scream sounded off in the distance.

He whipped around surprised, inwardly grinning as a wave of blue paint crashed along the roofs and upper alleys of the buildings, drenching and displacing many patrolling shinobi along the way. He had to fight to keep the grin from off his face as the weird feeling flashed away. He walked into the building as a flash of green light ignited the outside temporarily blinding the people in the restaurant and outside, giving the boy plenty of cover to transform into a young looking blue-haired civilian. His weapon-kit sealed away.

He pretended once more to look disturbed as the people were running around outside.

"You must be new to this village. Don't worry, you'll get used to the crazy things that happen around here." The disguised Naruto turned to see an amused looking waiter. He blinked in wonderment. He never thought of having to deal with this situation before.

"Get used to it? Shouldn't you be panicking or something?" He asked, genuinely curious. He's only seen the village run around and panic at his pranks, never act like it was such a casual thing.

"Panic? Oh no, not us. At first we did but we noticed it's much more amusing to watch the things that go on out their. It's like a show! Sure some people still run around like it's the end of the world but a good amount of us villagers try to get our cameras." He explained, pointing outside. The henged Naruto did so to see that, amongst the clearly freaked out villagers, were people running around with cameras trying to take a few snapshots of the shinobi being flung around by a giant white paste-looking octopus. Naruto snickered, imagining the face on the hokage to see this unauthorized prank let loose.

"See! You're getting into the spirit already! So far I haven't heard of these crazy attacks hurting any civilians, and even then it only targets a few but leaves no permanent damage. Its the shinobi that are always being attacked. Thank-goodness!" Naruto grinned.

"So you approve of this sort of thing?" He asked. The waiter nodded.

"Most certainly! Life has never been more fun! I'm one of the few that will admit it though. Everyone else likes to pretend they don't like it." He winked at the transformed blond.

"Well I feel better because of that then." the Azul-haired child sighed. Inwardly he felt really happy, the villagers were starting to come around to enjoy his antics. It felt good to be accepted for it! Hopefully that means if they do find out it was him they won't hate him for it.

"Alright, well I have a job to do! How about we sit you at table six and get you something to eat?" The waiter kindly guided him to the said table.

-----

Tsu was displeased. Tsu was very displeased.

First, he was trailing a guy who acted like he was lost running around everywhere. And then, he was soaked with blue paint! He was blown right off his perch on the building and into a tree several yards away. That would have been alright, if a _giant octopus _didn't start chasing him around with some freakishly long tentacle! If it weren't for explosive notes he'd be like the other shinobi at the moment.

His charge was hopelessly gone, no chance of trailing him. This would not bode well with the leader. It was obvious that it was no civilian from the charka network yet he acted civilian enough. First his steps were perfectly civilian. A shinobi with experience walks a certain way, a way that ensures if he's caught off guard he can react quickly enough. A shinobi's steps are also smoother, balanced, and noticeably silent. If he was a true chuunin then these things would have been seen during one point or other. No way a chuunin has that much skill in infiltration that they'd be able to hide the subconscious actions. One doesn't even officially become aware of them until they are ANBU, because ANBU need to be masters in infiltration. Even then most ANBU can't destroy a lifetime worth of habits that well. So if his chakra pathways were those of a developed chuunin and his body language was purely civilian, what does that mean? He gave up trying to puzzle it out; he'd tell Leader and let him figure it out. It was his job to get tasks done not analyze and access them. He sighed and tried to shushin back to the shop. Feeling the chakra gather, he flashed away

...only to crash land in a dumpster.

He growled at the growing bat wings on his back. It was _that _paint. The paint that even got Leader on a few occasions. The paint that made them struggle so hard to find the one responsible for this and report his unfortunate 'accident' to the rest of the plagued village. Struggling to get out, his hands shrunk and turned blue while his legs morphed into big-birds. Add that to the fact that feathers were growing out of his hair and chest made him an unhappy joe.

Schooling his face and destroying his emotions Tsu stood and began walking back. The fact that he was caught in this particular paint would be his 'get-out-of-jail-free' card. If there's one set back the Leader took well, it was this confounded paint. Only because he himself has experienced it and knows there's no way to stop it once it gets on you. Thankfully it isn't a permanent edition to their bodies.

RAAAAAAAGHH!!!

He whipped around to see the pasty octopus glaring at him, several appendages ready to apprehend.

Well it looks like he won't be returning anytime soon.

-----

"Brother, where were you today." Itachi asked his younger brother as they sat at the dinner table. Their parents were out at a fancy anniversary dinner planned by their grandmother, so the boys had the whole house to themselves for the evening.

Sasuke shrugged. "I lost a bet so I had to spend the whole day with Meiru's younger brother." He replied. Inside his stomach flipped. He didn't like lying to his older brother, despite Itachi growing cold and distant the elder Uchiha never lied about anything. So he was hesitant to lie in return...but what could he do? Tell him that his friend Naruto was planning a series of attacks on the entirety of the Uchiha clan along with two jonins and approval from the hokage because everyone was tired of the clan's attitude and wanted pay-back? Yeah right.

"You sound like it was a bad thing." Itachi raised an eyebrow. Sasuke gave him a look.

"I was manipulated. I don't like being manipulated." He said sternly, a small frown starting to form on his face. He wondered if it really was so bad to tell his older brother the truth. But he gave his word to Naruto, and Naruto doesn't seem like the type of person who'd take broken promises lightly. Besides, if he was revealed to be involved in the coming mayhem...

"You'll get used to it once your a shinobi." Itachi replied coolly.

"Used to...noway! I refuse to be manipulated at all." He protested strongly.

"The hokage manipulates shinobi all the time, the shinobi manipulate the clients, the clients manipulate the fire Daimayo and he manipulates the hokage." Itachi said matter-o-fact.

"Well I'll just make powerful friends that make sure I'm not manipulated." He replied in the same tone. Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"How do you plan on doing that?" He asked.

"I don't know, the Uchiha are known and respected is it really that hard to find that kind of friend for us?" Sasuke shrugged.

"Dad would say 'The Uchiha need no friends.'" Itachi told him. Sasuke frowned, thinking about that phrase. Its true, his father had been repeating that phrase every morning, right after his mother says "Have a good day with your friends!" But then he thought about Naruto, who was friends with the hokage. Such a friendship gave Naruto the ability to cause all kinds of trouble without getting blamed for it. Then he considered the fact that his friendship with Naruto guarantees Sasuke a fan-girl repellent. He twitched at the thought of what would happen if Naruto stopped sitting next to him.

"Well dad can suck it. He's probably jealous that he didn't have a fangirl repellent when he was my age." Sasuke replied firmly. Itachi chuckled.

"Fangirls are that bad huh?" He asked knowingly. Itachi himself was still plagued by fangirls.

"Not only that but I think their are also fanboys!" Sasuke told him. At that both the brothers shuttered. While other kids are scard of the boogie monster or killer intent, all shinobi men in Konoha, from age 2 to 100, have nightmares of fangirls/boys. They have good reason too! There are many survivors of fangirl/boy attacks that are scared to walk out their basements for years on end. There are also many survivors that remain in comas for years. "But Naruto keeps them all away most days." He added with a thankful smile. Itachi's eyes widened slightly.

"Naruto...Uzumaki Naruto is your friend?" He asked urgently. Sasuke looked at him weirdly.

"Yeah, why? So are Kiba Inuzuka, Shikamaru Nara, Choji Akimichi, and Shino Aburame." As he said the names Sasuke watched his brothers attentive and surprised expression.

"Sasuke, does mom and dad know about this?" Itachi demanded. Sasuke blinked, his brow creasing.

"No, they never asked...and I didn't want to tell him either;" He admitted the last part quietly. Itachi fixed him with a serious look.

"If you want to remain friends with them you won't tell mom or dad, ever." He said.

"Why?" Sasuke asked confused.

"Dad is very serious when he says Uchiha's shouldn't have friends." Itachi started grimly. "If he finds out he will cause trouble with your friends families, making your friends distance themselves from you. He will probably also chase away your friends individually. The Uchiha is a powerful enough clan to get away with scaring a few children unchecked." He stopped letting Sasuke adsorb that. "Especially the Uzumaki. Don't even mention him."

"B-but...why especially Naruto?" he asked the one question out of many. Itachi looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Naruto is...an orphan with no clan to speak of." He decided to say. "Thus he doesn't have...protection like other families."

"But Naruto is close with the Hokage." Sasuke argued, still confused. Itachi nodded.

"I wont lie to you, their are other reasons why Naruto would face dire consequences...but that is S-class information so I can't tell you anything. I'm sorry but you'll just have to take my word for it." Itachi finished.

"S-classed? Like super forbidden? Is it a bad reason? Will dad would actually hurt Naruto?" Sasuke asked still trying to figure things out. He pictured the orange grinning ball of enthusiasm in his mind and tried to find a logical reason that he'd face 'dire consequences.' S-Classed secrete? Was Naruto like a spy or something? And what about never telling his father about him especially? His father was hardly known as a nice guy, in fact he was feared more than the hokage. Because Sarutobi was greatly respected for his grandfatherly kindness where as Fugaku looked like he'd drown puppies without batting an eye. Only time someone ever needed to fear the hokage is if they did something bad, where as Fugaku displayed '_I'm your superior, you will bend to me' _ hostility to pretty much everyone. That was one of the reasons why Sasuke wanted to prank his father, the child was sick and tired of having to meet up with 'Uchiha standards.' Sasuke hoped that public embarrassment would humble his dad just a little bit. If not towards him then towards his mom. There's only so much arrogance a wife can take. But he didn't think Fugaku would actually hurt someone because of something so...petty. Itachi looked at his brother calculatingly, as if thinking something over.

"As I said before I wont lie to you, nor will I soften the blow. I want you to pay close attention to the Uchiha from now on, especially dad and the Uchiha council, and if you can't find the answer in one month, then ask me again." Itachi looked down to their untouched left-overs from the other day. "Lets not worry about this tonight, enjoy time you have free from the 'Uchiha are above such things' lecture. He cracked a smile at the last part. Sasuke couldn't help but snicker too as he turned his attention to his meal. As tiring as it may have been to hear it, the two boys loved to laugh about how ridiculous it was. Sasuke himself decided to think about the conversation later.

"I can't believe dad actually participated in an eating contest." Sasuke said out of the blue. It was true, the picture with Fugaku stuffing his face was at an eating contest. Itachi smirked.

"According to grandmom he was pretty desperate to marry mom." He confirmed. Sasuke snickered.

"I wonder what else is going to happen to dad." He said with a smirk.

"I would like for him to be turned into the tooth fairy for a day." Itachi replied. Sasuke looked at him in surprise. "If you will put in a request?" He asked

"How do you know I can put in a request?" Sasuke asked. Itachi smirked at him. '_As I suspected.' _He thought in victory.

"Grandmother told me that you were friends with the person to help pull this off." At Sasuke's weary look he added "Don't worry, I wont ask you who it is. If I do find out I will kill the said person immediately."

"What? Kill? Why?" Sasuke asked surprised. Itachi glared at him, not the type that says he's angry at Sasuke, but the type that says he's thinking of the person he's mad at.

"I. Want. Revenge." He said lividly. He oh so clearly remembered the possessed village girls trying to strip him and do....certain things.

"Uh...." Sasuke started, apprehensive. His brother was not one to show emotion, but he seemed to be making all kinds of exceptions today. His wave of anger told Sasuke that his brother was very serious. "okay....?" He responded unsure of what to do. As soon as it started Itachi's anger vanished.

"Oh and I suggest you curb your friend's drive to pull any of that on me. Dad sure, I'll even help you with dad and the rest of the clan. But if you do it on me....I will not be responsible for my actions." He said Cooley, before eating more of his food. Sasuke blinked.

'_Well that gets rid of Naruto's other plans.' _He thought as he ate subconsciously. '_I wonder what Naruto__will say about this? And my brother's an ANBU, if he really wanted to find out who was behind everything I don't think it'll be too hard for him. So it would be wise to get my brother on Naruto's side, if only so I don't have to lie anymore. Besides, if I looked like I needed to learn to have 'a little fun' then Itachi__needs to die laughing.' _Here Sauke wondered if his older brother could still laugh. Sure he chucked around him or his mom, but he never laughed...

"Hey bro, if we do turn dad into a tooth-fairy, would you laugh?" he asked. Itachi blinked twice.

"If it's funny enough." He said. "Why?"

"Well..." Sasuke started, wondering how to say it. In the end he decided its best to be blunt, it works for Itachi. "You act cold to everything, its like your turning emo or something. Its been bothering me and mom for a while now..." He said the last part quietly. He didn't know what came over him to reveal this to his brother. Even though it was true, Sasuke was increasingly bothered by Itachi's cold behaviour. Days like today were rare, and getting rarer. Inwardly Sasuke feared that Itachi would stop acting human all together. He hoped that if he did somehow make his brother show more emotions, he'd start acting more human.

"Emo?" Itachi asked as he raised an eyebrow. Inwardly he was thinking '_I am NOT EMO!' _

_"_Yeah, no offense, its what Naruto sees you as. And as I hate to admit it he does have a point." Sasuke said.

"And what was that point?" Itachi asked.

"You wear dark colors, don't socialize beyond what is necessary, and you don't show emotion often." Sasuke listed the exact reasoning of Naruto.

"Hm." Itachi said. '_Damn, that Uzumaki__just ruined my image...' _He thought in a low vengeful tone.

"Perhaps I have been a little cold." Itachi admitted. "How about you and your friends do something to make me laugh then." Sasuke blinked.

"You mean...like a challenge?" He asked. Itachi nodded.

"Exactly." Itachi responded with a slight smile. Sasuke grinned.

"Alright, but if you laugh then you'll have to train me!"

"Deal." The the cool reply.

-----

Translations:

Jiji-shorter form of 'Ojiisan,' kinda like we shorted 'grandpa' to 'gramps.'

**AN: **I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Including character depth is harder than I thought! But hey, I have the whole story to do it so I won't try and rush things. I noticed the end is a bit abrupt and out there, but theirs nothing I can really do about it. I hit a the evil writers wall-block! On the bright side, I left a bunch of open ends to start off my next chapter, so when inspiration comes I can jump on it!

I finally understand the conversion from yen to American dollars! As you may have noticed, I've been taking the American dollar amount and just moving the decimal place to the right over two places. For instance, $25.00 = 2500 yen. But my research has told me that an American dollar actually equals 91.46000 Japanese yen. So the conversion is closer to subtracting 10% from American currency and moving the decimal over two places. So $1.00-.10=.90 Now multiply by 100 (Move the decimal over the the right two places) and you get 90.0 I know it's not exact but I was really happy to learn that I wasn't that far off in my calculations! Yay! Well except when using bigger amounts, ignoring the 10% difference can change the amount substantially. (Despite this, I'm sticking to the method I was using all along. It's a thousand times easier if a bit inaccurate)


End file.
